I don't think AP has to be synonymous with "no cry". I think that is what most AP parents have taken from this unfortunately and is giving AP parenting a bad name. New parents aren't doing ALL the research and only taking bits and pieces from the whole theory. I consider my parenting style to be AP , but it was my understanding that as an AP parent, I needed to gradually teach my children how to accept no and how to handle situations that made them upset. For the first month, yes, I responded to every single cry. After the first month, I started putting the baby down for a few minutes to do a chore or go to the bathroom and tell her that I would pick her up as soon as I was done. I would always pick the baby up soon after. Slowly, I lengthened the time it took me to do things so that baby could handle being out of my sight for 15 minutes or so. Both of my girls learned that they didn't need to cry because I would be there in a few minutes. I did cosleep at night, but taught them how to sleep in their cribs for naps since I knew they had to go to daycare eventually. Yes, they cried and I responded, but my response was to hush them and put them back to their crib. When researching AP, I didn't associate it with "no cry", but rather with responding when they DO cry right away. The response doesn't have to be to give them whatever they want, but rather to show them that you are there to meet their NEEDS and not necessarily their DESIRES. Both of my children went to a home daycare and did fine even though my provider was not into AP. And now that my girls are 1 and 3, I feel like AP looks much different than it did when they were infants.

Obviously, it will be hard to see positive results from this parenting style while so many parents interpret it and practice it differently.

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