Originally Posted by nannyde:
If you want to know what nets great kids ask them that too. This thread begs the question plaguing me as to why these kids, like cream, don't rise to the top and become known as the healthiest, kindest, smartest, most stable and balanced kids to anyone but the parents and the sellers. That bugs me.
I really didn't want to post this, because it sounds snotty and horrible, but you keep asking the question, so I will respond. Please forgive how it sounds, because I am not a snotty person. Just stating for your research.
I did AP for my son, now 6. I did not join any forums or communities. As I stated, I took what worked for us and ditched the rest, but I followed it relatively closey, while also following my mother's intuition.
I have the child you are talking about. People stop me all the time - I'm not kidding - to tell me how sweet, kind, well-adjusted, and smart he is. He is a favorite of every teacher he has had, and they all keep in touch with him. His teacher from 2 years ago actually makes "play dates" with him. Yes, I go too. They play at the park for an hour once every three or four months. Nothing weird, I promise. They are just close. His previous daycare providers all keep in touch. Not with me, with him. The secretary and principal of the school love him. Everyone in church loves him. People I don't even know come up to me to give him Easter and Christmas presents because they say he is such a wonderful boy. Caring, giving, sweet.
I actually got into daycare earlier this year because last year a family member paid me a huge compliment. She said, "I would like to know if you would watch my infant daughter for me. From watching your son, I want my daughter to have the upbringing he did, and if I can't be there, then I want you to watch her for me."
So ... Is this the effects of AP? I believe some of it is. My son is very secure because be knew from a very early age that his needs would be met. No need to worry. Does that mean he never has a stress in his life? Nope. We have plenty, and we handle them. In his short life, he has moved 4 times, twice cross country leaving family and friends. It wasn't easy - but he felt safe, even in the midst of loss and confusion.
AP is not a true form of parenting. It is a way to react, most of the time, proactively, to a child. AP must be done also with good parenting, IMO. They are two different things.
I am in no way stating I am the ultimate parent. But something worked well and I did AP, so I don't think it's fair to say that AP kids are spoiled, rotten, and can't adjust.