Originally Posted by JustMe:
I say, cut them up and let her have them. If she tells her mom, just tell her you aren't comfortable serving them whole. I always tell my dc parents that I'm overprotective and try to make a joke of it. 
exactly what I do!! My kids bring their food from home so I have plenty that bring grapes - usually cut up but one time someone didn't and at pick up I mentioned that I cut them up and mom looked shocked and said "you mean, DCD didn't cut them???" Kid had never eaten them whole before so glad I didn't give them that way!!