Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I am so stressed out, and tired of picking up all the slack here, while they drop the ball at home, so I am laying it all out there for them. Things have to change or I will start weeding out kids and families! I have an entire new set of kids on my waiting list, so no problem filling spots. I know many of you would say that it is too personal, but you know what, they want me to care for their children, they are going to see things from my side and how it is affecting me as a person. Here is the letter:
Dear Daycare families,
This summer, I passed out income sheets for the food program, and I am told that not everyone handed theirs in. When they aren't handed in, I do not receive as much as I would if they were turned in. I strive to serve very healthy, unprocessed foods. If I am going to continue to do this, I have to have each of you fill your paperwork out and send it in. If I have to give you a stamp, I will. Or I will have to start asking that each family bring their own food. (Which would cause a whole other problem because this kid would want that kids food and etc). I can't find out who didn't turn theirs in because it is confidential, so if you think your sheet may be one that may not have been turned in, please ask for another form and get it in asap.
We have had many behavioral issues at daycare lately, and we have spent far too much non-daycare hours brainstorming on what we can do to improve things. It has become a great source of stress, and we have spent far too much time being upset because after hours about it all. These are things that we have observed that must change or we will no longer be able to continue care:
Parents MUST run the show. You are the parent, you must take charge of your child when you come to pick them up. Pick up time is chaotic, so we cannot allow children to run around the house. When you come to pick up your child, promptly put their shoes and coats on and enforce the rules of the house which are:
1. No jumping on the furniture
2. No hitting of any kind
3. No going outside without permission
4. Be respectful and talk kindly
5. No running upstairs
6. Quiet during nap/rest time
7. Use indoor voices while indoors
8. Clean up toys before you leave
There is far too much running around the house being allowed, and we would rather not have to continue to discipline your child when you are here. The kids need to know that even though changing of the authority figure is happening, the rules do not change. I see far too much hitting of the parent being allowed, yelling and running around my house being allowed by the parents. We still have other children to care for, and some possibly sleeping, so when you come to retrieve your children, we would appreciate it if you made it as smooth as possible. Also, when our “child is sleeping” sign is up, please be respectful when you come to the door and enforce the quiet during nap/rest time rule with your child.
We have done away with the prize box. Kids were becoming ungrateful for the little gifts they were receiving. Plus their behaviors take a nose dive when parents arrive, which is also prompting the above paragraph. Makes us sad, because it felt good to reward good days.
We have noticed that many of the kids seem to be way over tired when they come to daycare. Either they were up thru the night watching tv, or went to bed too late or up too early. We have a schedule we follow here. Each child can't have their own schedule when in a daycare. We have to think about the daycare as a whole. As much as we would like to hold and snuggle an over tired child all day long, we just can't. Please do what you can to ensure that your child is getting a good nights sleep each night, and napping consistantly on the weekend when they are not in care so that it isn't such a chore to keep them on a good schedule here. Right now naps are a disaster here. We try to separate the good sleepers from the not so good sleepers. But most days we spend our “break” running from room to room trying to keep kids quiet so the others can sleep. Over ten hours a day with very little break becomes exhausting, so enforcing good naps at home may make the difference here. Getting a break in our 10 hour day makes for much happier providers.
Respect. Even toddlers can learn respect. We don't allow hitting of any kind here, whether it be towards another child, a pet, and certainly not towards an adult. If you are experiencing rough playing and hitting in your home, whether it be in fun, or frustration from your child, we are asking you to do your part to put an end to it at home, as we are doing our part here. Kids are going to test the limits, but they have to be made to know, that hitting is NOT ok. This is a phrase we use each time a child hits or hurts another child. “X, you just hit Y, and that is NOT ok. You hurt your friend. Time out for hitting.” After the time out, we explain in kid language, short phrases, why they cannot hurt other people. We also say the phrase, “We use our big kid words, no hitting.” Each and every time. Consistency is key. A normal part of being a toddler is pushing limits, but if we stay on the same page, and stay consistent, we can influence the children in a positive way.
We have lots of littles in care. We know how much you all cherish your time with your kiddos in the evenings, and want to do lots of snuggling and holding. We can't fault anyone for that. We feel for all of you working parents, and feel very grateful that you all have chosen us to care for your precious children. That being said, we have a few little ones who absolutely cannot be put down. This causes lots of stress here, not only on us, but on the other kiddos who have to listen to the constant crying. We just can't physically hold them all the time. It wouldn't be good for them either. They all need to learn to explore, play with and manipulate toys, and play with others. Encourage independent play at home as much as possible.
Although this letter may seem harsh, it comes only from a place of love for all the children in our care. We know that it takes a village to raise a child, and know that much of this must start at home for us to be able to carry it through here. We are trying to do whatever we can to ensure that your child's day is full of fun and learning!
Thank you,
Miss X and Miss Y
What do you think. I am sure many will say too preachy, but I feel like I have to spell it out for them all. We have issues with each and every family and child, and the issues are all in this letter, so everyone is getting one. I am ready for the firestorm, or children being pulled.
I'd revise it to this:
Dear Families:
I have been informed that some of you did not turn in your food program paperwork. Without families completing the food program paperwork, they provide me with less money to provide your child with wholesome, nutritious and unprocessed meals. Attached is another form, if you did not previously submit your form, please send this in using the postage paid envelope promptly. Anyone failing to submit the paperwork may be subject to a rate increase to cover the costs.
Pick up and drop off times can be very chaotic. Starting next Monday we will be using the "Buh-bye Birdie" (I just made that up) system. Buh-bye Birdie means your child will have his coat and shoes put on 5 minutes before pick up time. Upon arrival of the parents, your child will be escorted out the door. We are spending far too much time chasing children and continuously monitor them while parents want to chat. You are welcome to a conference but it must be done after hours. If you are wanting to know how his day went, please ask us to provide a daily sheet.
To make arrivals and departures easier, we will no longer be permitting anyone to come or go during nap/rest time. (1pm - 3pm) If your child needs to be picked up during these times, please notify us ahead of time and be respectful that other children are resting during this time and it needs to remain quiet. This brings us to a new policy that we are instilling. All children must nap or rest during nap/rest time. If your child doesn't nap, he/she will be required to lay down for 1 hour and rest. We do not offer quiet play during this time.
I'd leave it at that. Parents don't need to know whether the prize box is something you've continued with or not. They also don't need to be told how to parent their child at night.
The way your letter sounds is that you want the parents to do all of these things and that these kids are out of control. However, your letter comes off as though you don't have any control either.
I definitely would revise and not send the original.