I'm not actually offended by what you said, although I know it's hard to tell that because tone gets lost a lot in written form. I too was not planning on taking government assistance but family members were adament that I needed to swollow my pride and do what was necessary for my daughter. I didn't mean for it to look like I think that anyone who is away from their child for long periods of time is an irresponsible parent - it would have made ME an irresponsible parent because of other things happening in my daughter's life at that time. I was just trying to keep my personal story to a minimum in an attempt to not hijack the op's thread - I'm not sure I succeeded
happykidschildcare, I think that the best thing that you can do for this mother is to assess if you can handle only accepting what dhs is going to pay you. If you can - you will be giving this mother an immeasurable gift. If you can't, tell her that you can't and be honest with her about your concerns about whether she can financially make it if she is paying you out of pocket. Tell her that you think this might not be the best fit. If you want to help her, tell her that you would be willing to watch her children until she can find other care. Being a single mother and having financial hardships because of it doesn't make her a bad person. Being financially unable to help her doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes the situation what it is.