Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
There was another issue today (unrelated to the child). When we called, Mom was very apologetic about everything that has been occurring and said, "I know my kids are bad. I'm so sorry." The child acts completely out of control when Mom is here. So much so that we have had to be the enforcers because the child will not listen to Mom.
My husband said that if this continues for the remainder of this week, we will be setting up a conference with his parents (which I completely agree with). This has to stop or we have to stop providing care.
The child is a bright, typical 4-year-old. The child knows how to use words. We frequently say, "Hands are for hugging, not hitting." We feed the child the words to say when we feel that hitting might be in the near future. However, sometimes there is hitting/pushing for no reason. How do you have a child use words when there simply is nothing to say??? "Hey, friend, I really want to be violent right now so let me hit you!"
We highly suspect that the child was termed because of the negative behavior in the past.
Boy, oh boy! That sounds a lot like an excuse for not making enough effort. She needs to stop apologizing (although that was polite), and DO something.
You have nothing to loose by laying your cards on the table. Come up with a consistent plan together, and she needs to follow through and set up some expectations at home as well. You sound like a kind, gentle person. Mom is probably a kind, gentle person. But she needs to be a kind, gentle, yet firm person.
If you are using tons of positive reinforcement at home, and she or dad are yelling or spanking or reacting, then everything you do is undone at home. You call need to use the same discipline style (and your the professional!). Then you may see results, and she wont be having the same conversation with the Kindy teacher, the 2nd grade teacher, and the high school principle!