Hello daycare.com. I love reading this forum, and while my daughter is not in daycare, you guys have SUCH great information on child rearing and I've learned a lot. I hope this question is OK even though it's not daycare related. I've read a lot of threads about children who haven't learned to sleep on their own and so can't be in daycare because they can't nap without a lot of intervention, with lots of great advice on training children to sleep. I've fallen into that trap, though! My daughter can't sleep on her own! I believed all the "fourth trimester" stuff and have been soothing her to sleep for the past 3 months. She is 14 weeks old now I am ready to start sleep training her (not to sleep through the night, just to fall asleep without being nursed, swaddled, rocked, bounced, held, etc.) but I have read a LOT saying that letting your child cry it out at all in the first three months is wrong developmentally, they can't self soothe at that age, etc. I can't tell what is legitimate and what is just the new school of parenting.

I LOVE my daughter and want her to learn to fall asleep on her own but I don't want to cause any issues either. What is OK to do at this age? Can I use the Ferber method of putting her down, letting her cry for a few mins, checking in, increasing crying time, checking in, etc.? Even if I just try to remove some of the ways she's soothed, she will cry, so I see no way of teaching her to sleep on her own without tears. I'm not afraid of her crying! I just don't want her to be crying UNNECESSARILY, if it's too soon for her to learn to do these things and it will just be traumatic and a waste of time. You guys seem to be the most level-headed bunch of parents and caretakers on the internet, so can you please give me the REAL scoop on what is developmentally appropriate for me to be doing for my daughter at this age?

Thank you!

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