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fctjc1979 09:58 AM 06-01-2010
I think that a lot of people go way too far with explaining things to kids. If kid A just hit kid B for the 5th time that week, do you really need to explain to kid A why hitting is wrong for the 5th time? My kids and my dck get explanations for things that are new. Once they know the rules, I'm not going to insult their intelligence by explaining it again. They know what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Now, I might have a group discussion when everything is calm with all the kids about hitting, or swearing, or ruining other people's stuff not because someone did something wrong, but just for a discussion. And in that case, I ask the kids questions and have them give me the answers. A review of things they already know. But if someone does something they aren't supposed to do, I give consequences, not an explanation. If my parents had constantly given me an explanation every time I did something wrong as a kid (unless it was a first offense, as I said before), I would have honestly thought they had no clue what to do about it and just decided to appear to handle it and drop it. And I probably would have appeared to listen and just let it go in one ear and out the other.
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