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  #1  
Old 03-08-2018, 10:49 AM
happymom happymom is offline
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Default Weaning from Pacifier

My littlest son is 2.5.

Daycare told me they'd like to work together to get him off his pacifier at naps. I've been putting it off because he sleeps pretty well with it, but it's time.

So I've never done this before. My older son didn't take a pacifier very long and refused it around 3/4 months.

I mentioned to daycare I am on board with a cold turkey approach, but they suggested that it doesn't really work. How do you slowly take it?

After we left daycare we talked about it, and he seemed like he was ready to not have it at bedtime. We made a sticker chart and the pacifier went away, and he went to bed and was FINE...

Until a few hours later he woke up completely distraught and inconsolable and I gave it back and we're going to try again tonight. Will this eventually work? I told daycare how it went and asked them to try nap today without it....

What do you think?
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:03 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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I am in the camp of not removing a security item until a child wants to.

I do however, limit them to when and where they can have said security item but I don't care if a child chooses to have one until they are adults....

I believe it's somewhat cruel and unfair.

I limit use of a security or comfort item to the calm down spot and to rest time. If a child chooses to sit in the calm down spot for most the morning using their comfort item, they can.

Kids have very little control over things in their lives and the things they cling to for comfort and/or security are essential to their well being and mental health in my honest opinion.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:08 AM
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Have they mentioned why? I personally feel the same way as BC. My own kids had them until 4 years old. It was due the the dentist saying it was time. We talked about it with them, gave a date and took it away. They were both fine. My eldest had a few wakeups but by night 3 she was fine. If he fell asleep without it at first he can do it again when he wakes up. Hard for you at first, but yes it will work!
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:15 AM
happymom happymom is offline
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Daycare says he can't have it when he moves to the next classroom (which won't be until October) and just wanted to give us time.

It wasn't like a "TAKE IT AWAY NOW" deal, just a quick mention of it, and I thought it couldn't hurt to try.

My cat eats them so it'll be nice when they are all gone
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I am in the camp of not removing a security item until a child wants to.

I do however, limit them to when and where they can have said security item but I don't care if a child chooses to have one until they are adults....

I believe it's somewhat cruel and unfair.

I limit use of a security or comfort item to the calm down spot and to rest time. If a child chooses to sit in the calm down spot for most the morning using their comfort item, they can.

Kids have very little control over things in their lives and the things they cling to for comfort and/or security are essential to their well being and mental health in my honest opinion.
this.

IF you're doing it, go cold turkey. I do not think 2.5 yo's, regardless of how smart they are, truly comprehend 'sometimes'. The binky fairy just came to my dck's house and took ALLLL the binkies to give them to other babies who needed them. The binky fairy left new bedtime stories and a new stuffed animal for bedtime.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:31 AM
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My pediatrician, long retired, told me to pull the pacifier tip out as far as I could from the base and poke a tiny hole in it, with a sewing needle, as close to the base as humanly possible.

They still get to have them, they are simply less enjoyable and will be left behind quicker. Also lower risk of tearing than cutting, which used to be the *thing. Worked like a charm.

We can't do it with DCK's, but as a parent you can.

For lurkers: This is not daycare advice , parents only. It will get you fired really quickly, as it should.
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  #7  
Old 03-08-2018, 12:06 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Good idea on the little hole!

You guys have really got me thinking to let him keep it, too. I dunno. It's funny, the one at daycare he calls "binky" and the one at home is "pacifier" and the one at home has a clip that goes on his shirt. He's very much in a routine where we clip it to his shirt right before bed and he pulls it off first thing and says "I WAKE UP!"

I'm interested to see if he'll nap without it today. Perhaps we'll just keep talking about it and persuading and one day it'll go away easily.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:13 AM
BrynleeJean BrynleeJean is offline
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If you want to do the cold turkey then you can do it like friday night and say here, no more paci on monday morning at daycare because it should only take a few hard days and the weekend should be sufficient for that method the daycare doesn't get a choice your mom
But if you want to wean and keep the paci as a security item yo can cut the tip of it down so he can't suck on it but still had it to hold as security and he will get the hint eventually and eventually not want it. IF its like one paci he really likes. if he doesn't care and just wants any pacifier that probably won't work he will scream until he gets one he can suck on.
Ive never heard of a stick chart method.
id def start restricting it to like only nap and/or bedtime if that hasn't already been done. the daycare can help with that.
Good luck!
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  #9  
Old 03-08-2018, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I am in the camp of not removing a security item until a child wants to.

I do however, limit them to when and where they can have said security item but I don't care if a child chooses to have one until they are adults....

I believe it's somewhat cruel and unfair.

I limit use of a security or comfort item to the calm down spot and to rest time. If a child chooses to sit in the calm down spot for most the morning using their comfort item, they can.

Kids have very little control over things in their lives and the things they cling to for comfort and/or security are essential to their well being and mental health in my honest opinion.
I definitely agree with this. My DS is a paci/blankie baby, and has been since day 1. I have been hearing from well meaning family, friends, and now his doctor that we should think about taking the paci away. When he turns 2 we will limit it to only naps and bed time.

I will admit that I slept with a certain blanket until I moved in with my husband while we were dating, and he asked me to pack it away. It was my comfort thing. I completely understand the desire to have what makes you feel comfortable, and how hard the first few days of transition are. If it was that hard for me at 21, it is immensely harder for a 2 year old who doesn't understand why they can no longer have what makes them comfortable.
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:47 PM
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Is he actually attached to it or is it more habit?
There have been many times where i just didn't give a kid their paci and they didn't even notice... but as soon as the parents show up, they attach the paci ti the kids shirt and the kid pops it right into their mouth.

When you do decide up get rid of it, i prefer cold turkey... i think its much easier for children to comprehend. The "sometimes" can be confusing.
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:57 PM
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This just literally came up in my daycare yesterday. I have 2 1/2 year old dcb who has used a pacifier since he started. I also only allow them at nap time at this age.
Well yesterday nap time came and there was no pacifier in his bag, I was pretty sure dad accidentally left it in his truck. I was really worried about him not doing well without it because if I accidentally forget to give it to him going down he'll whine says binky. So yesterday I explained to him that it wasn't in his bag and I had him go with me and look, well he did great, he just said it was in daddys truck. So I told mom and she asked if we should keep trying that and I said sure. So today again, I said oops no binky in your backpack, we went and looked and he said nothing and went to sleep no problem. , not sure how it was so easy but this one was.
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Old 03-08-2018, 01:05 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenboo View Post
Is he actually attached to it or is it more habit?
It's more of a habit. I don't think it'd be the end of the world if we went on a trip and forgot it.

I'm excited to see how it went at daycare today during nap though. This morning when I made his bed, I put his pacifier up in the top of the closet and we'll try again tonight!
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  #13  
Old 03-08-2018, 01:24 PM
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I also agree with not taking away a security item if the child needs it but if a child seems ready and seems to only be using it out of habit, I start by "forgetting" to give it to him/her at nap time. I wait to give it to the child until he/she asks for it. Usually the kids start out asking for it right away but gradually, it takes longer and longer for them to miss it. Eventually, they don't need it and stop asking for it. It's a gentle, fairly painless process that seems to work well for me.
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Old 03-08-2018, 01:32 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e.j. View Post
I also agree with not taking away a security item if the child needs it but if a child seems ready and seems to only be using it out of habit, I start by "forgetting" to give it to him/her at nap time. I wait to give it to the child until he/she asks for it. Usually the kids start out asking for it right away but gradually, it takes longer and longer for them to miss it. Eventually, they don't need it and stop asking for it. It's a gentle, fairly painless process that seems to work well for me.

That's a really good idea, too. My kids go through their share of "favorites" but mostly it's their clothing that seems to be a security thing for them, especially this little guy, it's his jacket. Before it was this particular jacket, it was a different one (that he outgrew).
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Old 03-08-2018, 01:45 PM
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My personal belief is that a pacifier should be taken away at 6 months. This is before the start of Object permanence so it makes it easier to get rid of.
"The American Academy of Pediatrics and American Academy of Family Physicians recommend limiting or stopping pacifier use after your baby is 6 months old to reduce the risk of ear infections. After that, using a pacifier is linked to increased ear infections, especially among 2- and 3-year-olds."
My son was done with his pacifier at 4 months. He attatched himself to a frog stuffed animal that he still has to this day. He sleeps with it but its not allowed to go anywhere but his bed. I was a blanky kid and still have that special blanket to this day lol. I just dont like kids sucking on things. Its gross and i believe it causes more of an oral fixation. I teach that only food goes in the mouth. No hands, no toys, that spreads germs!
In daycare, pacifiers are done at 12months. Parents understand this before enrolling. I once let a 18month old have her pacifier at nap and would scream her head off every time she couldnt find it or she tossed it over her crib and couldnt get it. I was done running in the nap room every 10 min. We went cold turkey and it took a few days before she would stop asking for it. Her parents now say if they have another baby they will not be giving a pacifier because of the drama and stress it caused them at home.
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I am in the camp of not removing a security item until a child wants to.

I do however, limit them to when and where they can have .
Me too!
I've seen too many kids start sucking their thumb because they were forced to quit the pacifier before they were ready, and once they start the thumb they do it all the time (some do) and I feel that's way worse than a pacifier at nap

Last edited by Gemma; 03-14-2018 at 10:14 AM. Reason: after age 1yr I too only allow pacifier at nap time
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Old 03-14-2018, 11:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
Hate the darn things!

Most "dummies" (as they are called in the UK) are for the parents and not the kids. They are merely "let me shut you up" plugs. Nasty, ugly, dirty chewable plastic...ugh!
agreed! None of my own kids took them, and I limit them to nap for my dc kids.

Thumb sucking on the other hand is the bane of my existence. None of my kids were thumb suckers. DC kids? OH MY. spitty hands. spitty hands everywhere.
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Old 03-14-2018, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
agreed! None of my own kids took them, and I limit them to nap for my dc kids.

Thumb sucking on the other hand is the bane of my existence. None of my kids were thumb suckers. DC kids? OH MY. spitty hands. spitty hands everywhere.
None of my kids took a pacifier, but I have 2 thumb suckers. Thankfully it is mostly only when they're tired/going to sleep. However, my 3 yo can't stand the sensation of being wet. So he sucks his thumb, then cries b/c it's wet, then cries harder b/c now his face is also wet... So I keep talking to him about being a problem solver. Crying will make our eyes wet which is ok, but if you don't like how it feels then we need to find another solution that doesn't involve crying about it. My suggestion was to keep his thumb out of his mouth altogether. His solution...suck thumb until it feels too wet, then dry it off using his comforter on his bed. Then reinsert it in his mouth. Rinse & repeat. He can not touch his lovey blanket with it though b/c that blanket doesn't like being wet either. Dis.gusting.
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