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  #1  
Old 04-05-2011, 09:18 AM
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Default WWYD In This Situation?

If you had less than 2 weeks left doing daycare, and parents were all paid up until the last day, and you had a dcb who did not listen, hits, pushes, steals toys, etc etc (basically a child you would normally term because of behavior),how would you handle the last 2 weeks left?

Say this dcb punched another (older) dck - would you term immediately? Keep him here but isolated the rest of the two weeks?
Time out and back to playing?
Something else?

I'm on the fence....I know what I want to do, but not sure it's the right thing to do. So wwyd?

BTW, dcb is almost 2 1/2 and has been like this since he started 2 months ago. We were working on it and it was getting better, but has gotten worse in the last few weeks.
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  #2  
Old 04-05-2011, 09:25 AM
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I'd probably just deal with it and stick it out. I would tell the parents what went on though and tell them that for the remaining time the child will have to be separated from the other children if they choose to stay the two weeks.

If you really want him gone enough to refund their two weeks though I'd do it. It's not like you need to worry about backlash reflecting on your business since you are going to be done with it all anyway.
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  #3  
Old 04-05-2011, 09:32 AM
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I would have made it clear when I informed all DCF that all of the rules will still apply during the last two weeks.

Do you have anything regarding violent behavior in your PHB?

EX: I have in my PHB that I can term a child without notice if they are acting out violently towards other children or staff. Biting, hitting, kicking, (hurting in anyway) If you do, I would term for this NOW..

If you don't, I would let the DCP know right now that this is an issue and you will term him if it does not stop.. you need to protect all of the children in care,
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  #4  
Old 04-05-2011, 09:36 AM
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I have a clause in my contract that says I can and will term without notice for violent behavior and any monies for care from that point forward will be returned. I might even just call the parents right away to have him picked up immediately, not even wait until the end of the day. Violence towards me, while not appropriate, is one thing. Punch another child and you go home immediately.
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Old 04-05-2011, 10:21 AM
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I would do this. You don't want to put anyone at risk. I would give myself peace of mind knowing that your two weeks are going to end on a good note by getting rid of anything or anyone that could cause it to be different.
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Old 04-05-2011, 10:24 AM
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I would make sure his parents are aware and straight out say, even though you are closing in two weeks, all the rules still apply and he will be sent home for aggressive behavior if necessary. Unless it is getting absolutely out of control then I would hang in there for two more weeks.
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Old 04-05-2011, 11:12 AM
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What I'd like to do is term immediately. Like I said, if I hadn't known I was closing already, I would have already done so.

However, what I'll probably do is tell dcm about the incident and let her know that he will be separated for his remaining time here, and if it happens again she will be called to pick him up.

I have another hour to figure it out for sure.

Should I write anything up, to document the incident and the consequences?
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Old 04-05-2011, 11:36 AM
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Okay, here's what I came up with really quick, let me know what you think:

There was an incident at daycare today that you need to be made aware of. B punched another child today. He was immediately separated from the group and remained separated for the remainder of the day.

Because I am responsible for the safety and well-being of all the children in my care, I cannot allow this behavior to continue. For the safety of the others, B will be separated from the group for the remainder of his days here, and if this behavior occurs again, he will need to be picked up immediately.
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  #9  
Old 04-05-2011, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
Okay, here's what I came up with really quick, let me know what you think:

There was an incident at daycare today that you need to be made aware of. B punched another child today. He was immediately separated from the group and remained separated for the remainder of the day.

Because I am responsible for the safety and well-being of all the children in my care, I cannot allow this behavior to continue. For the safety of the others, B will be separated from the group for the remainder of his days here, and if this behavior occurs again, he will need to be picked up immediately.
Hmmm. I would add in there:

As a reminder, per PHB rules, ******X for violent behavior, which would result in immediate removal from care.
Since there are only two weeks of care left and I don't want to put your family out and into a difficult situation by not having care for ***XX, I will be seperating him from the group should this behavior continue. If he is not able to control his behavior while seperated from the group, I will have no other choice then to ask you to come and pick him up. Again, please understand that I am responsible for the saftey and well being of every child in my care. I really appreciate your support and cooperation with this matter. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to call me.
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  #10  
Old 04-05-2011, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
If you had less than 2 weeks left doing daycare, and parents were all paid up until the last day, and you had a dcb who did not listen, hits, pushes, steals toys, etc etc (basically a child you would normally term because of behavior),how would you handle the last 2 weeks left?

Say this dcb punched another (older) dck - would you term immediately? Keep him here but isolated the rest of the two weeks?
Time out and back to playing?
Something else?

I'm on the fence....I know what I want to do, but not sure it's the right thing to do. So wwyd?

BTW, dcb is almost 2 1/2 and has been like this since he started 2 months ago. We were working on it and it was getting better, but has gotten worse in the last few weeks.
This is the way I see this. Why in the world would a parent want a child to be in a home where he is so out of control and unhappy that he punches, hits, and pushes other kids? Why would they want him to be with an adult he clearly doesn't respect?

He should be somewhere where he is HAPPY and where he is around adults he respects.

I wouldn't keep a kid like that. I couldn't deal with that level of unhappiness and neither could my helper and my other kids. We want to be around CALM, NICE and RESPECTFUL people.
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  #11  
Old 04-05-2011, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
This is the way I see this. Why in the world would a parent want a child to be in a home where he is so out of control and unhappy that he punches, hits, and pushes other kids? Why would they want him to be with an adult he clearly doesn't respect?

He should be somewhere where he is HAPPY and where he is around adults he respects.

I wouldn't keep a kid like that. I couldn't deal with that level of unhappiness and neither could my helper and my other kids. We want to be around CALM, NICE and RESPECTFUL people.
Oh, he's happy enough. He's having a great time taking toys and body slamming and hitting. At least that's what the smile on his face tells me. To be fair, he has a much older sibling who plays very rough with him, and at first I thought he was just playing the way he knew how to. Maybe he is, I don't know, but he hasn't quite figured out that that's not allowed here.

I'm not so sure he would respect anyone anywhere else either. Apparently he's done this sort of thing elsewhere and (at least from what I know) once at home to his baby sister also.
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  #12  
Old 04-05-2011, 02:49 PM
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Default WWYD Round 2

Okay, so mom read the letter, replied that she doesn't think he should be in a corner every day all day until the end of next week, that he wouldn't understand that kind of punishment and it's not fair to him. She will put them in the new daycare next week with a refund for next week, if that will work for me.

I explained that it's no longer about him and "punishing" him, he won't be in the corner, he'll have toys to play with, but I can't trust him around the others, and need to keep them safe, so he will be separated.

Here's the thing. If I was going to term, it would have been effective today, immediately. I found a solution that will work for me. She doesn't have to like it, and he certainly won't, but it's what I will do. However, if SHE decides she doesn't like it and pulls him, I don't feel like I need to refund her money. Even though I'm closing at the end of next week, the rules still apply - 2 week paid notice when leaving.

The last text I got was her asking if it would be easier on me if she started new daycare next week. I'm not sure what to say. I know if I tell her that I won't refund her money for the week, she won't pull them. I don't want to refund her money, as I counted on it, since I counted on my 2 week paid notice clause. I guess I just don't know how to (nicely) tell her that she can stay or go, but she's not getting a refund.

Like I said, I have a plan in place to keep the other kids safe, so I don't really care if he's here or not one more week. I just don't know how to answer her last question without sounding snippy, mean, uncaring, or whatever.
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  #13  
Old 04-05-2011, 04:39 PM
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Tell her that it is her decision. That you have a solution that works for the best interest of all the kids. Then leave the ball in her court.

Last edited by SandeeAR; 04-05-2011 at 04:40 PM. Reason: typo
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  #14  
Old 04-05-2011, 04:44 PM
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I would stick it out and let the parents know that he is being rough with the other children and that if this contnues you will be making a call to them to come and pick him up.
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  #15  
Old 04-05-2011, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandeeAR View Post
Tell her that it is her decision. That you have a solution that works for the best interest of all the kids. Then leave the ball in her court.
I think I would tell her that you will only seperate him from the other kids if he continues to act out. If he does, then you will have to seperate him from the other kids.

You are not asking them to leave, you are offering a solution.

If she wants to pull him then she needs to put it in writing and she will forefit any pay becuase she has not supplied a two week notice....
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  #16  
Old 04-05-2011, 06:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I think I would tell her that you will only seperate him from the other kids if he continues to act out. If he does, then you will have to seperate him from the other kids.

You are not asking them to leave, you are offering a solution.

If she wants to pull him then she needs to put it in writing and she will forefit any pay becuase she has not supplied a two week notice....
My only problem with giving him another shot at hurting someone before I separate him is that he's already had so many chances. It was getting better, but obviously the issue is still there. I've already told the mom that I would be keeping him separate, and I'm not sure I should back down on that. How many chances should I give him? Especially since, under normal circumstances, I should have termed him long ago, or at least on the spot today.

When we were working on this behavior before (when he first started it was very bad), I would start each day fresh, and then the first time he acted out he was separated for the rest of the day. I just feel like since it got better, but is still happening, I shouldn't give him that many opportunities to hurt someone again.

And today it happened so quickly that I couldn't stop it. He was playing very nicely and they were all having fun and then bam - he punched her. No reason at all that I could see.

This is why I'm so confused. I'm a firm believer of not carrying things over and I don't feel like I should just give up on him and separate him for good, but at what point do I say enough is enough and he needs to be away from the others to keep them safe? Nothing really works with him - time outs do no good, separation doesn't teach him anything, ignoring him and coddling the victim doesn't phase him. So I'm not in "teaching" mode anymore, because I've done all I know to do and nothing is working. Now I'm just in protection mode.

Thank you for your input - even if I do counter question everything , I really do appreciate it!
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