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Parents and Guardians Forum>Kids That Interrupt All The Time
cheerfuldom 05:10 PM 06-07-2011
Major issue here. Anytime me and my husband try to talk to the each other, the older girls start talking, getting in our faces, getting louder and louder to try and get the attention. They do this when I am talking to anyone but it is ramped up 100% when Daddy comes home. They are almost 2 and 3.5 years old so old enough to know better. I guess I was sort of not noticing it just from the busyness of life but now I am realizes that my husband and I barely talk to each other when the kids are up for this reason. It has gotten out of hand and definitely unacceptable. We cannot ignore it because both my girls have very loud voices, very insistent attitudes. They will not give up so we do have to address it in some way without them thinking they are getting attention even if it is negative attention. Trust me, they get a lot of attention from both me and Daddy so I don't feel that giving more attention is the solution. I am home with them all day even though I do home daycare and Daddy does TONS of stuff with them like trips to the pool, running errands, walks, trips to the park, etc. I am open to any suggestions! I have been explaining that we do not interrupt, wait your turn to talk, etc. but its actually getting worse at this point.
Unregistered 05:17 PM 06-07-2011
Every time they interrupt, you stop talking, hold your finger up in the offender's face, and say "Is an adult talking?"

Then put the finger over the offender's mouth and hold it there and finish what you were saying. Never allow a child to interrupt you while you are talking and actually finish what they were about to say.
cheerfuldom 05:55 PM 06-07-2011
thanks for that thought. We do stop them and don't allow them to finish until its "their" turn however, at this point, I am constantly reminding and not seeing any progress.
Blackcat31 08:04 PM 06-07-2011
Why not try something a bit tougher? If they interupt you, stop talking immediately and escort them to the other room. Tell them firmly and clearly that you and daddy are talking and since they are being rude and interupting they must stay put until you are done. Then when you and your DH are done let them return for their turn to talk. I think this might be a bit dramatic but doing this may make your point. Seems like they learn best from lessons that seem silly to us but make an impact for them.... kwim?

I don't know how well this can/will work for your own kids but I've used this with dck's and had success.
meganlavonnesmommy 10:48 AM 06-08-2011
My neighbor uses a technique that I thought was great. She taught her child that when he wants her attention, he needs to put his hand on her lower arm/wrist area. This lets him know he needs her attention. Then he needs to wait. WHen she or the other person is done talking, she will ask him what he wants.
It works great. THen he is signaling her without interrupting, or talking over another adult.
grandmom 02:38 PM 06-08-2011
Please forgive my blunt reply. They are strong words but shared with love and respect.

Your children are insistent and loud because you allow them to be. They know you will stop your conversation to hear them. Imagine 10 years from now when they are 16 and insistent that they drive the car, or bring a boy home for a sleep over, or whatever.

Have a talk with them when it is calm. Tell them from now on, they will learn to wait their turn to talk. They are to wait until the adults are finished talking. Then, every single time they interrupt, do the same thing. Put your hand (or finger) up in a *wait* stance and turn your back to them. Continue the conversation - longer than you normally would have so that they can have practice waiting.

Then tell them thanks for waiting.

If it continues tell them that since they interrupted, you can't hear whatever they were going to say. And unless you see blood somewhere, refuse to hear them.

I speak this from experience. I have one incredibly self-centered only child who is the king at this. He learned that all I do is raise and lower my hand. If he wants me to listen later, he waits. Now, he waits.

Again, shared in respect.
Meyou 05:44 AM 06-09-2011
If one of the kids interupts a grownup conversation I say, "Excuse me for a sec." to the adult and turn to the child and say, "Grownups are talking. I'll be happy to talk to you as soon as we're done." Then I apologize to the adult for interupting our conversation, ignore the child and finish the conversation. If the child interupts again I say, "Grownups are still talking. You can go in the other room to wait for me since you're having trouble not interupting." and send them on their way.

As long as I'm consistant every child (including random friends of my kids) in my home waits for grownups to finish talking. For me sending the persistant interupters away drives the point home that it's not polite and it's not acceptable to interupt adults.
cheerfuldom 09:35 AM 06-09-2011
thanks for the reply. we had a discussion before dinner yesterday about what is expected at meal time (although they have heard this many times before) however yesterday evening was much better. you all are right. i have been letting them do this and it is my fault for showing them that it is okay.
Tags:backbone, discipline - consistency, interrupting, interrupting - playtime
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