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  #1  
Old 06-22-2011, 07:44 AM
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Default Single Mother Promo Is Biting Me In The Ass!

So since the day I opened up my daycare over 5 years ago I have always offered one full time space for a single mother at a lower rate. So I took this lady on about a year and a half ago at $400/month on this promo, my regular rate at that time was $500/month for full time. My full time rate now is $650/month. So this lady is saving $250/month on daycare.

Here's the problem:

The little boy started with me at 18 months, he is now 3 years old. I have known since the day that he begun care with me that there was something wrong with him and on many occassions brought this up to the mother, she finally decided to get him evaluated now.

- He doesn't speak at all...so communication is impossible.
- He doesn't listen, no matter how consistent I am, and will often have huge temper tantrums and throw stuff when upset.
- He is violent towards the other kids.
- He is extremely destructive, he has put holes in 4 of my playpens over $320.00 in damages, among other things that he has wrecked on me.
- I can not put him in a bed to nap as he won't stay. I can not put him in a playpen to nap as he will either crawl out or destroy the playpen. He will not cooperate in quiet time because he doesn't understand what being quiet means and disrupts the other children.
- I obviously can not leave him unsupervised for even a minute without containing him or taking him with me.

On top of that...

- He is the first to come and the first to leave (7:30am - 5:15pm). Which means mom works 9 hours? It's only a 15 min drive to and from her work place so I would assume that means she works 8:00am - 5:00pm? Does that mean she gets an hour of unpaid lunch? I got thinking about this today and called the office, she works for the foster association as an secretary, the office was not open at 8:10am. Does she work an hour before it opens?
- Mom pushes my policies. She constantly tries to bring her son at 7:10am when she knows I will not allow drop offs before 7:30am. She has tried to bring her son at 1:30pm when he had an appointment when she knows I don't allow pick ups or drop offs during quiet time (12:30pm - 2:30pm). She brings outside food and toys in...another no - no and the list goes on....

I just don't know what to do. I feel that I should raise her rates but I am very close with this mom and know she really can't afford to pay much more and have formed an attachment with the child despite all the stress he causes me.

I just would really like some input from others to help me decide what the right thing to do is...

Thanks so much!
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  #2  
Old 06-22-2011, 08:00 AM
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sharlan sharlan is online now
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Has he been evaluated yet, or are they just starting the process?
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  #3  
Old 06-22-2011, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelwings36 View Post
So since the day I opened up my daycare over 5 years ago I have always offered one full time space for a single mother at a lower rate. So I took this lady on about a year and a half ago at $400/month on this promo, my regular rate at that time was $500/month for full time. My full time rate now is $650/month. So this lady is saving $250/month on daycare.

Here's the problem:

The little boy started with me at 18 months, he is now 3 years old. I have known since the day that he begun care with me that there was something wrong with him and on many occassions brought this up to the mother, she finally decided to get him evaluated now.

- He doesn't speak at all...so communication is impossible.
- He doesn't listen, no matter how consistent I am, and will often have huge temper tantrums and throw stuff when upset.
- He is violent towards the other kids.
- He is extremely destructive, he has put holes in 4 of my playpens over $320.00 in damages, among other things that he has wrecked on me.
- I can not put him in a bed to nap as he won't stay. I can not put him in a playpen to nap as he will either crawl out or destroy the playpen. He will not cooperate in quiet time because he doesn't understand what being quiet means and disrupts the other children.
- I obviously can not leave him unsupervised for even a minute without containing him or taking him with me.

On top of that...

- He is the first to come and the first to leave (7:30am - 5:15pm). Which means mom works 9 hours? It's only a 15 min drive to and from her work place so I would assume that means she works 8:00am - 5:00pm? Does that mean she gets an hour of unpaid lunch? I got thinking about this today and called the office, she works for the foster association as an secretary, the office was not open at 8:10am. Does she work an hour before it opens?
- Mom pushes my policies. She constantly tries to bring her son at 7:10am when she knows I will not allow drop offs before 7:30am. She has tried to bring her son at 1:30pm when he had an appointment when she knows I don't allow pick ups or drop offs during quiet time (12:30pm - 2:30pm). She brings outside food and toys in...another no - no and the list goes on....

I just don't know what to do. I feel that I should raise her rates but I am very close with this mom and know she really can't afford to pay much more and have formed an attachment with the child despite all the stress he causes me.

I just would really like some input from others to help me decide what the right thing to do is...

Thanks so much!
The reality is, when we start giving parents deals and breaks they just begin expecting things from us. Because she knows you don't EXPECT her to pay what everyone else pays, she thinks you don't/won't EXPECT her to follow the rules. I have never and will never give price breaks because this is generally always what's going to happen. Raise her rates.
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Old 06-22-2011, 08:11 AM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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I would tell her that your rate is increasing effective July 15th.

Tell her that you are raising it $10.00 a week. This is equivalent to $2.00 per day or 20 cents an hour.

Then tell her that another rate increase will take effect January 1st. Rate will go up another $15.00 a week. This is equivalent to $3.00 a day or 30 cents per hour.

Then her rate will be $500 a month. Tell her that even with the rate increase, she is basically paying for 3 weeks and getting every 4th week free compared to what your current rates are.

I had to raise my rates last year. With the cost of EVERYTHING going up, all of my parents understood.

Good luck!

Last edited by wdmmom; 06-22-2011 at 02:26 PM.
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Old 06-22-2011, 08:35 AM
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They just began the evaluation yesterday so nothing has been established yet.
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  #6  
Old 06-22-2011, 09:31 AM
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IMO, you should set up a meeting with her and go over your policies. Tell her it is your pleasure to care for her son, but she must comply with your rules. If she complies, I would honor your "special" and finish what you started with this little boy. Once he's in kindergarten, you can look back and know you did everything possible to give him a good start in life.
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Old 06-22-2011, 09:47 AM
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I personally would term knowing that if I raised her rates, she couldn't pay. I don't give discounts and I would never keep a child that was violent or distructive. Its not just about the mom or you, the other children are having to be around this child and all his violence and tantrums. That would be my biggest concern. It sounds like there is something legitimately wrong with him and very likely, it will get worse before it gets better (if it even gets better). By the time he is 4, he will be too big for you to control anymore like you might do with a younger child.
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  #8  
Old 06-22-2011, 09:55 AM
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I think CheekyChick gave good advice. If you generally like this little boy and the mom, but they're just driving you a bit nutty right now, I'd try to stick it out with the current rate unless you just can't afford to. Give him a good sendoff to kindy. She's got to follow rules though, so you need to have a heart to heart with her on that one. I wouldn't raise rates on her unless you were raising rates on everyone, but what I would do is write up a new contract specifying her special rate and letting her know what will cause her to lose it: early drop offs, naptime drop offs, bringing outside food and toys, and any other rules she is continuously breaking. Give her a 3 strike law?

I wouldn't bend the rules for anyone in the future though! The more you give in life, the more people will want/expect/push for.
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  #9  
Old 06-22-2011, 01:30 PM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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<<There was a quote here that was removed, which I was reffering to>>

I'd be very careful with this. As far as I know it's against the law to charge more a child has special needs. I know you can refuse to take the child on on grounds that you are "unable to meet the child's needs" however I was advised by licensing that it's considered discrimination if you charge more or deny services simply because they are disabled. I know that if your home needs to be modified or the child needs extra help (you have to hire an assistant) then you can pass these fees on the the parent but otherwise you can only charge them as much as you charge your highest paying client.

Now I can be wrong and maybe this is just in my state but I always assumed that the non discrimination laws were nationwide.
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Last edited by MarinaVanessa; 06-22-2011 at 03:08 PM. Reason: The quote that I was reffering to was removed
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Old 06-22-2011, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
I'd be very careful with this. As far as I know it's against the law to charge more a child has special needs. I know you can refuse to take the child on on grounds that you are "unable to meet the child's needs" however I was advised by licensing that it's considered discrimination if you charge more or deny services simply because they are disabled. I know that if your home needs to be modified or the child needs extra help (you have to hire an assistant) then you can pass these fees on the the parent but otherwise you can only charge them as much as you charge your highest paying client.

Now I can be wrong and maybe this is just in my state but I always assumed that the non discrimination laws were nationwide.
Where I live you are allowed to charge more for a child with special needs IF you need to make accommodations for their disability such as having an assistant or special equipment/materials or have to go above and beyond the normal services you offer.
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Old 06-22-2011, 02:26 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
I'd be very careful with this. As far as I know it's against the law to charge more a child has special needs. I know you can refuse to take the child on on grounds that you are "unable to meet the child's needs" however I was advised by licensing that it's considered discrimination if you charge more or deny services simply because they are disabled. I know that if your home needs to be modified or the child needs extra help (you have to hire an assistant) then you can pass these fees on the the parent but otherwise you can only charge them as much as you charge your highest paying client.

Now I can be wrong and maybe this is just in my state but I always assumed that the non discrimination laws were nationwide.
It's not discrimination if they are needing the extra care that wouldn't otherwise be required or care that you aren't comfortable or authorized to do.

Last year I had a DCM contact me about an advertisement and wanted me to watch her (5 yo) that was wheelchair bound, had a shunt in her head, had a feeding tube and had a breathing tube that would need to be adjusted on occasion.

I suggested they hire a nanny or a nurse.

Would that really be considered discrimination? I don't think so.
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Old 06-22-2011, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Where I live you are allowed to charge more for a child with special needs IF you need to make accommodations for their disability such as having an assistant or special equipment/materials or have to go above and beyond the normal services you offer.
Correct, but not only because they are special needs but think I covered that in my reply. I only mention it because not everyone understands the Americans with Dissabilities Act (even I needed to look it up to get a refresher). I was just pointing out that someone can't just say that they are going to charge a parent more only because their child has special needs. Each client with special needs can be taken on a case by case basis and if their needs are more than what the provider can cover and it creates a financial hardship on her then she can charge more to cover these costs. If modification have to be made to the home then the family can be charged this one time fee, if the provider has to hire an assistant to help with caring for this special needs child only then the parent can be charged a higher rate etc. I hope that this is the case with wdmmom but in her post she simply posted that "Unfortunately I charge a higher rate for special needs because they need that much more attention." which I believe can cause her trouble if a parent wanted to fight it. If she was charging more because she needed to pay someone to help with this child because he/she needed more care then that's a different story.
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Old 06-22-2011, 03:00 PM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
It's not discrimination if they are needing the extra care that wouldn't otherwise be required or care that you aren't comfortable or authorized to do.

Last year I had a DCM contact me about an advertisement and wanted me to watch her (5 yo) that was wheelchair bound, had a shunt in her head, had a feeding tube and had a breathing tube that would need to be adjusted on occasion.

I suggested they hire a nanny or a nurse.

Would that really be considered discrimination? I don't think so.
Good thing I was prepared with my flame suit lol. Again I think I covered this in my reply. All I was responding to was about what was said, that's all. If you would incur more costs that you could afford then no it's not discrimination. If you don't feel comfortable and you can't meet the needs of the child because you are not trained properly, no that is not discrimination to tell them that you can't meet their needs. If you are charging more only because they are special needs and they are a child that does not need any special equipment, materials or modifications like for a child that has down syndrome for example then yes, it can be considered discrimination. I wasn't trying to chew you out or single you out or anything. I just really wanted you to know that you could be opening yourself up to a world of trouble and you might not even know it if you're charging extra only because they are special needs.

Btw: now that your comment was edited and the part of your quote that I was reffering to was removed it does totally look like I'm picking on you lol.
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Old 06-22-2011, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
Btw: now that your comment was edited and the part of your quote that I was reffering to was removed it does totally look like I'm picking on you lol.
I saw the post by wdmom that you quoted and I think that you were correct to respond the way you did. I don't think you came across as picking on any one.....just making a legal point.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:15 AM
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I saw the post by wdmom that you quoted and I think that you were correct to respond the way you did. I don't think you came across as picking on any one.....just making a legal point.
Ok thanks. For a second I thought that maybe I had worded it a little harsh. Now that wdmmom edited her post and removed the quote my comment totally looks out of place lol. She also edited my post where I quoted her and removed her quote there too, I guess being a moderator has it's advantages and now I look like a total goofball .
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