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  #1  
Old 10-07-2011, 11:33 AM
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Default Feeling Bad....

We had a little guy leave our center two weeks ago. It was because of money. Mom wrote me her 3rd bad check. She did make good on it, but pulled her son out because I told her she would have to pay in cash now. She was also constantly asking me to hold her checks as well. She said she can no longer afford me anyways, and was taking him somewhere cheaper. (Its a whole $15 a week cheaper). Turns out she is taking him to the big center across the street from us. This is NOT a nice center. Big, dirty, lots of staff turnover, lots of blemishes on their record. Its a TOUGH group of kids there too (mostly low income state funded). This is the little guy who some may remember had an issue with wearing a pink dress all day, every day until I removed the dress. He always says he's a girl, will be a girl when he grows up, obsessed with pink and dolls and makeup and nail polish. I feared he was going to get eaten alive over there, and he is. Mom stopped by today to see if I still had a spot for him because he's getting severely picked on and "beat up". I do not have a spot, I filled it. But I told her I'd let her know if something came available. She asked if I would take her checks again, and I said no. She left dejected and this made me feel like its somehow my fault she wrote bad checks. I already let her get away without giving two weeks notice. Should I let my sympathy for this boy overtake her previous bout of rubber checks? My gut says no. But I feel bad for the kid.
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  #2  
Old 10-07-2011, 11:45 AM
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Sugar,... Your heart is more beautiful than even your name. You did nothing wrong. You didn't leave her. You didn't treat her any different than anyone else. You are running a business and have to look out for yourself. Please don't feel like any of this is your doing. She chose to write bad checks. She chose to find less quality care. She pulled him. She regrets it and is realizing how valuable you are.

There is always going to be someone who is your squeaky wheel. You need to decide to swap it out for a new one. Then not feel guilt when it starts squeaking from the street. Just close that garage door knowing you did your best and go on.
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Old 10-07-2011, 11:45 AM
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This is a tough situation you are in I feel for you, this Mum should have never placed you or her son in this situation. I am sure she was aware her DS had some eccentricities that he was dealing with- and everyone knows kids can be mean, in reality she should have done all she could to make that extra $15 a week and not have her cheques bounce if she knew that your centre was the best Place for her child.
I would be straight forward with her about not taking her cheques, and if she is having finical worries direct her to ppl whom can help. You run a business and I feel like you need to do it in a professional way- if your contract states you go to cash after an NSF cheque, stick to it.

Don't get me wrong, it's hard and I feel for the boy, but there has to be a limit
Maybe half cash, half post dated cheque
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Old 10-07-2011, 11:54 AM
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Mom is learning a hard lesson, you can't treat good people like crap! it sounds like she is seeing the error of her ways and it is unfortunate that this little boy is paying a price as well. if she does come back, do no except her checks at all. if she has the money to pay you, it shouldn't matter if it is in cash or check, you know? if she is still wanting to do checks, she will end up bouncing more.
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Old 10-07-2011, 12:16 PM
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Hopefully Mom will marinate in her NO over the weekend and realize what she has done to her child.

Maybe when an opening becomes available she will GLADLY accept your offer of a second chance with cash payment.

The fact that she'd even ask tells me she learned NOTHING so far.

Caving will only make things worse for this boy in the long run, IMHO.
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Old 10-07-2011, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherder View Post
Hopefully Mom will marinate in her NO over the weekend and realize what she has done to her child.

The fact that she'd even ask tells me she learned NOTHING so far.

Caving will only make things worse for this boy in the long run, IMHO.
See above

Shug,

It's okay for these parents to struggle... make mistakes... and live with the consequences of it. She needs to learn the value of paying fully and paying on time. She needs to associate the money with your care.

She's not there yet so you have no place in this.
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  #7  
Old 10-08-2011, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
Sugar,... Your heart is more beautiful than even your name. You did nothing wrong. You didn't leave her. You didn't treat her any different than anyone else. You are running a business and have to look out for yourself. Please don't feel like any of this is your doing. She chose to write bad checks. She chose to find less quality care. She pulled him. She regrets it and is realizing how valuable you are.

There is always going to be someone who is your squeaky wheel. You need to decide to swap it out for a new one. Then not feel guilt when it starts squeaking from the street. Just close that garage door knowing you did your best and go on.
Thanks Laundrymom. Its just hard knowing a kid I cared for is in a bad place, both physically and emotionally and there's nothing I can do.
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Old 10-08-2011, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
This is a tough situation you are in I feel for you, this Mum should have never placed you or her son in this situation. I am sure she was aware her DS had some eccentricities that he was dealing with- and everyone knows kids can be mean, in reality she should have done all she could to make that extra $15 a week and not have her cheques bounce if she knew that your centre was the best Place for her child.
I would be straight forward with her about not taking her cheques, and if she is having finical worries direct her to ppl whom can help. You run a business and I feel like you need to do it in a professional way- if your contract states you go to cash after an NSF cheque, stick to it.

Don't get me wrong, it's hard and I feel for the boy, but there has to be a limit
Maybe half cash, half post dated cheque
Not only does she KNOW of his issues, she helped create them by sending him to my center in nailpolish. And she always said how good it was for him to have a positive male role model with my husband being a teacher too. I was going to lower my rate $15 a week, but that's NOT fair to everyone else.
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  #9  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
Mom is learning a hard lesson, you can't treat good people like crap! it sounds like she is seeing the error of her ways and it is unfortunate that this little boy is paying a price as well. if she does come back, do no except her checks at all. if she has the money to pay you, it shouldn't matter if it is in cash or check, you know? if she is still wanting to do checks, she will end up bouncing more.
Cheerful, you are right. The 1st bounced check should have been the last. My bad for allowing it 2nd and 3rd times. No more enabling. I think I've pretty much decided not to take her back, ever. Heartbreaking....
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  #10  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:13 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
See above

Shug,

It's okay for these parents to struggle... make mistakes... and live with the consequences of it. She needs to learn the value of paying fully and paying on time. She needs to associate the money with your care.

She's not there yet so you have no place in this.
Cat and Nan, right on as usual! I have a hard time with "no" too sometimes, but you two always help me get some backbone. I am usually a sucker for a sob story. I worked sooooo hard with this troubled boy, it HURTS me to have her pull him over $. She KNEW her checks were a problem and she KNEW it would hurt me financially, yet she chose to do it anyways. Sad sad sad. I won't take her/him back. I just can't go through each week wondering how many of MY checks will bounce because of her.
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  #11  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:13 AM
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Sugar, ((((hugs)))) BTDT, felt just as horrible but really Cat, Nan and laundrymom and other PP's are spot on!

This is the downside to this business....(the part we all hate )

Hang in there
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  #12  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:19 AM
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Thanks to everyone who replied. I have been so upset over this. But it is business. I just hope he will be OK at El Cheapo Place. The thing that sucks is, I do accept state funded kids. I told her a year ago to apply. But she's too "proud" (more like lazy I think) to apply. Dumb. If you're elligible, why not at least apply??? I am heartbroken, but need to move on. BTW, the little girl that replaced him is a beautiful little angel and a joy to have around. Life marches on. I just hate being reminded every single day when I see her car leaving El Cheapo Child Jail.
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  #13  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
Thanks to everyone who replied. I have been so upset over this. But it is business. I just hope he will be OK at El Cheapo Place. The thing that sucks is, I do accept state funded kids. I told her a year ago to apply. But she's too "proud" (more like lazy I think) to apply. Dumb. If you're elligible, why not at least apply??? I am heartbroken, but need to move on. BTW, the little girl that replaced him is a beautiful little angel and a joy to have around. Life marches on. I just hate being reminded every single day when I see her car leaving El Cheapo Child Jail.
Maybe her "laziness" will suddenly have a burst of "get off my butt and do what is best for my child"-ness and she will apply so he could return when you have the space.

Since you already know what time she drops off and leaves, make sure you are involved in something else at that time.....maybe a book or some snuggles with your newest angel...
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  #14  
Old 10-08-2011, 07:14 AM
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Sugar Magnolia Sugar Magnolia is offline
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Maybe her "laziness" will suddenly have a burst of "get off my butt and do what is best for my child"-ness and she will apply so he could return when you have the space.

Since you already know what time she drops off and leaves, make sure you are involved in something else at that time.....maybe a book or some snuggles with your newest angel...
Blackcat---located "in detention" LOL! cracks me up every time! Who is it that's located "in time out"? Comedians!! Love love it!

You know what stinks? I have 12 sets of windows in my center!!! That's a lot of darn windows for 1000 square feet!! LOL!....

You are right, I need to avoid looking at her, just so hard to do, as I am also watching my parking lot for other arrivals/pick-ups. And the other kids see her too! "Look there goes Boy X and his mom". Ugh.

I am feeling a little better about my "no" now. Thanks ladies!!!
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