Out of Diapers?

[PitterPatter]

I have grown a backbone and have been doing well with issues that pop up but today I have encountered a whole new area I would like some help with.

Normally when kids don't have diapers they don't come to daycare until parents get them which is rarely ever a problem. Today entitled DCM calls when they should be arriving to say she can't bring the diapers as I requested because they are out. I tell her the dollar store sells them maybe she can stop and grab a small pack. She said no the "charity" (dont want to say the name) always supplies their diapers but they are late so they can't get them until tomorrow. I told her I can lend her the money to get diapers and she said no she has the money but she isn't paying for them when she can have them for free. I tell her the kids can't come without diapers. She tells me they won't be attending today.

Problem is I don't get paid unless they are signed in for the day (subsidy) So now I lose $40 because DCM doesn't want to waste her cigarett money on diapers! I am thinking about calling her back and telling her I will pay for the diapers and she doesn't have to pay me back just so I don't lose money. BUT when I give this family an inch they take a mile and run with it. Should I just lose the $40 or let her know she can walk on me and I will continue to pay her way? (in the past I have bought clothing, socks, shoes, wipes, for these kids because they dont have much and dcm can't afford to buy them.) OR should I just lose the $40 and stop giving to them?

[countrymom]

seriously, just lose the money. You said it yourself, you give an inch and they take a mile. Obviously she doesn't care about her kids. I'm surprised that people can get free diapers thats so wrong in my opinion.

[Blackcat31]

Can you bill her (Instead of the state) for the day? I have several kids on state assistance and there are often days the kids do not attend that the state does not pay for but my contract says are paid days so I bill the family directly.

I would lose the money before I borrowed her anything. If you borrow her money then you are enabling her as well. I understand that you don't want to lose the money but in the long run, you are better off sucking it up than feeding into her entitlement.

I would also start advertising to fill her place.....that family is rediculous and I would not want to continue dealing with all the issues she brings upon herself. Especially because they have such an impact on others (you) and she doesn't really even care...

[momma2girls]

I would do the same thing!! Even if they are state paid, they will pay out of pocket if need be for the day she is off!! I don't have any state paid children, and won't take them again, but when I did- they had to pay out of pocket for all vac. days, sick days, etc....

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Can you bill her (Instead of the state) for the day? I have several kids on state assistance and there are often days the kids do not attend that the state does not pay for but my contract says are paid days so I bill the family directly.

I would lose the money before I borrowed her anything. If you borrow her money then you are enabling her as well. I understand that you don't want to lose the money but in the long run, you are better off sucking it up than feeding into her entitlement.

I would also start advertising to fill her place.....that family is rediculous and I would not want to continue dealing with all the issues she brings upon herself. Especially because they have such an impact on others (you) and she doesn't really even care...

I am not allowed to charge her anything except her portion fees and late fees. I can't charge her or the state when the kids are sick or I take a day off etc. I am not allowed to charge her for days she is not here no matter the reason. If I thought I could get away with it I would make her pay but I know she would report me. She has bragged to me about other people she has reported in other situations. She's quite proud of her ability to collect what she feels entitled to and if it's not given to her then she reports them. I don't want to open that can of worms.

I have been advertising for a while now with no luck. I keep the ads up though. Getting clients has always been a slow process here. Just too many home daycares I guess. Trust me as soon as I get the spots filled they are out of here. I do like the kids and will miss them but the amount of stress and drama DCM brings in here is not worth it.

Thanks for the advise. I won't be calling her back

I do have to wonder what the kids are wearing now though. Neither one is potty trained at all!

[Lilbutterflie]

I agree with the ladies here; you should not get docked in pay because this lady won't buy her child diapers!

However; if you don't already have a clause in your contract about her paying out of pocket for any time missed due to lack of daycare supplies; I don't think you can make her pay for this day.

BUT... you can sure make an amendment to your contract to prevent this in the future!! Add a clause that would make her pay for any missed days due to lack of supplies. When you hand her the new contract to sign; let her know that you missed out on getting paid for the day simply because she didn't want to bring the necessary supplies. Now she will need to agree to pay for this in the future.

Now I'm wondering what the heck this parent is doing at home with their child today with NO diapers?? Ewwwww; I can only imagine the messes that she is going to have to clean up!! At least it's not your messes to clean.

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie

I agree with the ladies here; you should not get docked in pay because this lady won't buy her child diapers!

However; if you don't already have a clause in your contract about her paying out of pocket for any time missed due to lack of daycare supplies; I don't think you can make her pay for this day.

BUT... you can sure make an amendment to your contract to prevent this in the future!! Add a clause that would make her pay for any missed days due to lack of supplies. When you hand her the new contract to sign; let her know that you missed out on getting paid for the day simply because she didn't want to bring the necessary supplies. Now she will need to agree to pay for this in the future.

Now I'm wondering what the heck this parent is doing at home with their child today with NO diapers?? Ewwwww; I can only imagine the messes that she is going to have to clean up!! At least it's not your messes to clean.

She CAN'T. In her state, the state does not allow providers to bill the state-pay parents for anything like that; until recently, I don't even think she was allowed to charge late fees! It is NOT her choice; it is a regulation put in place by her state.

[Cat Herder]

Flip the deck.

Call her case worker and report her.

Someone out there is struggling, making an honest effort and is not receiving help because of her.

[Sunchimes]

I agree with what everyone is saying. I made that mistake once and regret it even now.

I have a Nosy Nellie question though. I'm not allowed to take subsidies at my licensing level, so I'm not familiar with how they work. Did this mom call her employer and say she couldn't work today because she didn't have any diapers? How do they get away with taking off work like that?

[DCMom]

There is NO WAY that I would borrow her a thing! I would be billing her for the day and advertising to fill her spot.

Look at it this way...you are already paying for her diapers and her daycare through your tax dollars. Why should you give her anymore?? She obviously doesn't appreciate it.

Catherder, I love you

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

She CAN'T. In her state, the state does not allow providers to bill the state-pay parents for anything like that; until recently, I don't even think she was allowed to charge late fees! It is NOT her choice; it is a regulation put in place by her state.

Exactly!

I am thrilled to be able to charge the fees now though!! Baby steps I guess. I have explained to my monitor how unfair it is and I lose money etc. They said there's nothing they can do it's the law, they are there to help needy families ...blah blah blah..

If this keeps up I may become 1 of those needy families

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by Catherder

Flip the deck.

Call her case worker and report her.

Someone out there is struggling, making an honest effort and is not receiving help because of her.

I already did

Originally Posted by Sunchimes

I agree with what everyone is saying. I made that mistake once and regret it even now.

I have a Nosy Nellie question though. I'm not allowed to take subsidies at my licensing level, so I'm not familiar with how they work. Did this mom call her employer and say she couldn't work today because she didn't have any diapers? How do they get away with taking off work like that?

She doesn't work. She is in a govt program that pays her to attend classes on bettering her life with computers and such. She just misses her class then makes up the time by staying longer each day until the hours are made up. Yes that means the kids stay here longer when she does that. And no I don't get paid extra So I lose a days pay and then have to keep the kids longer so she can make up her time. Double insult

I have had parents come and go because they do lose their paying jobs from calling off so much.

[Sunchimes]

Oh, wow. Talk about the good life. If I lived in your state (may be the same here), I would be paying for her classes as well as paying for my own so that I could keep her kids. Then, I would be paying for her child's food when she was at home as well as hers, plus the diapers and, I'm guessing, their medical care? In short, I'm supporting 2 families on my wages? sigh Maybe I should quit work and have a baby so that I can go back to school.

[DaisyMamma]

I would require her to pay out of pocket if she chooses not to come.

[Meeko]

She smokes?

If she can afford that, she can afford a few diapers.

[momma2girls]

SHe also can afford to pay you when she is keeping her child home with her, and you aren't getting paid!!

[youretooloud]

Originally Posted by PitterPatter

Yes that means the kids stay here longer when she does that. And no I don't get paid extra

Is there any way you can make that more difficult for her?

Honestly, I hate people like her. There are so many people who TRULY need the help, and these lazy self entitled slobs just want everything for free but suck the life out of everyone. Nobody wants to help the worthy when the worthless are taking advantage.

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Can you bill her (Instead of the state) for the day? I have several kids on state assistance and there are often days the kids do not attend that the state does not pay for but my contract says are paid days so I bill the family directly.

I would lose the money before I borrowed her anything. If you borrow her money then you are enabling her as well. I understand that you don't want to lose the money but in the long run, you are better off sucking it up than feeding into her entitlement.

I would also start advertising to fill her place.....that family is rediculous and I would not want to continue dealing with all the issues she brings upon herself. Especially because they have such an impact on others (you) and she doesn't really even care...

Yep. This. If they don't come, I can bill the state for an unscheduled absence once a week up to 9 hours, but after that, if they don't come, I bill the parents.

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

Is there any way you can make that more difficult for her?

Honestly, I hate people like her. There are so many people who TRULY need the help, and these lazy self entitled slobs just want everything for free but suck the life out of everyone. Nobody wants to help the worthy when the worthless are taking advantage.

This is my point exactly! I am all for helping others and I totally understand the need for govt assistance. I would give a needy family the clothes off my back and I have done a lot for my clients families even packing groceries out of my own pantry. But when families are just out to get everything they can and not even say thank you, then I stop. I wish the govt would stop giving too. I don't know how it works but I wish they had a way to cross reference all the organizations give then they could see who was needy and who was just abusing the system. Example: If you are selling all of your food stamps month after month then you aren't in need!

Not really much I can do but I have been cracking down everywhere I can. My spots are by the day so as long as she stays within the hours I can't even fine her late fees. Trust me I have been on her like white on rice because she has caused me sooo much drama recently so I haven't been taking anything from her. I have even been rude because I am just fed up with the whining and her daily stories of how everyone owes them. I would love to share more but due to privacy I can't. I will say I have never in my entire life met a person like her, honest to God!

I have a ringtone just for her that has a siren going off and loudly announces "BULLSHI**ER ALERT, BULLSHI**ER ALERT". It gives me a little satisfaction and even a giggle instead of the usual dread and sighs.

I know shame on me!

[Crazy8]

honestly, this is why I do not take subsidy clients. My one and only one (who didn't tell me they were subsidy until AFTER I accepted them) was beating the system by claiming she was "separated" from her husband when she wasn't. I reported it numerous times and was told there was nothing they could do because when they'd send her the forms to "update" her info she'd still claim to be separated. I decided from that point on I didn't want to be working with subsidy clients at all.