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Unregistered 09:09 PM 02-13-2012
I am a registered poster, but logged out for privacy.

This to me is a very awkward post and I am embarassed it happened in my daycare.

Although, not my fault I still feel guilty.

A parent brought in a DVD for us to watch that she said her kids love and once a month we have 'Movie Mondays'
Anyway, my assistant put the DVD in set it up and pressed play!
What was on the DVD was not what was on the case, it must have been switched. The DVD itself had no markings looked maybe like a copy - it was supossed to be Disney's Princess and the Frog, but it was a p o r n o graphic film.
The little ones that were watching are about 2 so they thank goodness don't know exactly what was going on, but it was inappropriate to say the least.

I now know to not accept movies from home and only movies that I have are to be watched, but what do I say to the parents?
Do I act like I never got around to playing the movie, tell them there has been a switch,
And what do I tell the other parents? I usually say honesty is the best policy but I am simply mortified.

Advice please.
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Michael 10:01 PM 02-13-2012
I think you are going to have a wide range of opinions on this. How long did the DVD play? If you caught it immediately then I would let it go but if it played for several seconds before you caught it I would let the parents know. I honestly would get a legal opinion on this. I tend to overly worry about liability but god forbid one of the parents say that their child is somehow harmed by it. I would like to see what the other providers suggest and why.
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Mary Poppins 10:54 PM 02-13-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am a registered poster, but logged out for privacy.

This to me is a very awkward post and I am embarassed it happened in my daycare.

Although, not my fault I still feel guilty.

A parent brought in a DVD for us to watch that she said her kids love and once a month we have 'Movie Mondays'
Anyway, my assistant put the DVD in set it up and pressed play!
What was on the DVD was not what was on the case, it must have been switched. The DVD itself had no markings looked maybe like a copy - it was supossed to be Disney's Princess and the Frog, but it was a p o r n o graphic film.
The little ones that were watching are about 2 so they thank goodness don't know exactly what was going on, but it was inappropriate to say the least.

I now know to not accept movies from home and only movies that I have are to be watched, but what do I say to the parents?
Do I act like I never got around to playing the movie, tell them there has been a switch,
And what do I tell the other parents? I usually say honesty is the best policy but I am simply mortified.

Advice please.


Ugh!!!

Personally, if it were me, since they are all so young I would just give the movie back, pretend you didn't play it and let it go. I would not say a word to other parents and just act as though nothing happened.

If the children were older I would definitely do things differently and would probably call a meeting with all the parents or something. I honestly don't know but I do know not to allow outside movies into my dc from now on!!

My gosh. How awkward for you!!
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Meyou 03:37 AM 02-14-2012
I would tell every family exactly what happened. I would want to know as a parent.
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Countrygal 05:01 AM 02-14-2012
I think I'd treat the dcfamilies as I would like to be treated. If it were your child, would you want to know?

As to the family who brought it - I would DEFINITELY say something. These things need to be brought out in the open. It might have belonged to a teen child who is having some trouble. As a parent, I'd definitely want to know what was in the movie, or at least that it had been switched and was an over 21 movie. Nothing good ever comes of hiding this stuff, IMO.
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SilverSabre25 05:07 AM 02-14-2012
I would say to all the other parents: "Hey...I just have something, er, wow, really embarrassing to tell you. The movie we tried to watch today was supposed to be Princess and the Frog, but the disc that was in the case was...not exactly the G-rated version...if ya know what I mean...I'm so sorry; the kids didn't see much, I stopped it right away and put in something else instead. I've learned my lesson--no more home-dubbed movies can come in. Only original discs. Let me know if you want to talk any further about it."

To the family that brought the movie..."Here's your movie back. You might want to label your po rn a little better next time." <--- grin included. They're going to be as embarrassed as you are about it. "Seriously though, I put it in and the kids saw a little bit. I had to explain to the other parents what happened. From now on, I can only accept movies that are original discs--and that's a policy that will cover everyone. I'm sure you understand."
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Countrygal 05:13 AM 02-14-2012
silver -
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Cat Herder 05:13 AM 02-14-2012
I'd go with the absolute truth.

It is the only way I know to keep the parents respect.

Also, Less chance of bigger problems if the child describes/acts out something they saw one day... They may or may not remember/explain it being on film....

That being said, I'd try REALLY hard to not disclose the source of the video. Some people can be really embarrased by that type of thing....
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Meyou 05:48 AM 02-14-2012
I really like what Silver posted.
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MrsB 07:00 AM 02-14-2012
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! I say be up front with all the parents. Your parents will be able to tell you are hiding something otherwise. Plus if you dont say anything you can be sure one of the kids will!

I guess you can add sex therapist to the list of a daycare providers many tasks.
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nannyde 07:06 AM 02-14-2012
Well that's strange.

It's weird that your assistant didn't have to go through the screens to hit the play button. I have a ton of DVD's and the ones within the last five years or so have required to go through a couple of screens before you hit CAN hit play.

I don't have any movies where you just pop it in and hit play. If you guys have movie monday and you are used to operating DVD's then what happened that she didn't notice she didn't have to go thru the screens?

I would be prepared to answer that once you tell the parents and they have time to think about how it could have happened.
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Unregistered 07:18 AM 02-14-2012
Thanks everyone, I asked my assistant what exactly the kids saw, it was the start up screen menu with the scene selections ect. There was a pretty illicit background - but no movie was played, just images.

I spoke to the Mum whom brought the DVD and explained everything. She was as mortified as I was. She was in tears by the time she left. I was empathetic when discussing this matter and ensured her that her privacy would be maintained while I discuss this with the other parents. I did however, draft a letter stating what had happened in detail and that this particular movie was from her home and she unintentionally brought it to daycare and had her sign and date it with my assistant and I was witnesses -- just incase.
I explained it would go into her locked file that only I have access to as I have to document everything.

I sent out an email to all the parents stating an incident had happened at the daycare and please plan to leave extra time at pick up as I would like to discuss it in person.

Thanks again for all your input
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PitterPatter 07:29 AM 02-14-2012
Wow I'm sorry this is very embarrassing indeed!

Honesty is always the best policy though. I just think I want to know what my own child is exposed to especially things like that so I would let the parents know.

How bad was it? Was it simple nudity before you caught it or ******** detailed? Parent's may not be as upset if it were simple nudity. I could just see a daycare kid walking in on parents and say "that's what I saw at daycare"

I feel soo bad for you I hope it all works out well but I think honesty is best. I would also make sure the parent that gave it to you knows what happened. Let her share some of that embarrassment. I know it was an accident but good Lord she should keep certain things put away.

Good luck to you!
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Childminder 07:56 AM 02-14-2012
My daughter has copied movies for me and I just pop them in and hit play, because they are copies, I think, you don't have the set up or "pre" screens.

What happened was unfortunate and accidental on your part. I would be up front and tell my parents that there was an issue with a movie that the children viewed mere seconds of that was totally inappropriate in its content for children. Make them aware of how shocked you are and that they will not have to worry because it won't happen again. Tell them that all movies will from now on be prescreened and approved by you. Also you will not disobey copyright laws and play any copies. (federal offense)

Children of that age are not "sexual beings" and don't realize that what they saw was any thing more than a bunch of body parts.
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icaredaycare 08:02 AM 02-14-2012
in a male perspective, I would have been very very cautious in this matter. I know to some people the truth is the right way to go, but from my end, this would have made me an easy target for me to get sued and have department of human services knocking on my door. I'm so paranoid to the fact that I would have thought the DVD was a "set up" to get me.

learning from your experience...i'm going to have to deny home movies as well. Thank you for sharing your story. as a man in this field, these incidents are scary, not just embarrassing.
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morgan24 08:08 AM 02-14-2012
I think you handled the situation very nicely. I would of been honest about it too.
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Blackcat31 08:27 AM 02-14-2012
I think you handled it correctly. I would have been mortified if I were the parent and just as mortified if I were the provider. I do think you did the right thing though.

FWIW~ I own many Disney movies that have Fast Play installed on them. You just insert the DVD and walk away and it plays on its own. No screens to go through to get to the movie.

I don't use any of these movies in child care anymore as we are a no TV/movie child cares. After reading about this experience I am even more grateful we ditched the TV.
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grandmom 03:45 PM 02-14-2012
I'm not going to even attempt to tell you what to do.

I'll just say, this would be cause for a CPS visit to my house to shut me down. Tread lightly, both in what you put in writing, and what you say to parents.

I'm so sad. My heart would be racing for a week over this.
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Unregistered 04:11 PM 02-14-2012
Well thank the lord that every parent was completely understanding, upset but a lot of them simply laughed it off - one DCD even asked to borrow the DVD I explained it was already returned to the parent who brought it in.
A lot of the patents wanted to know who brought it, didn't even care what the kids saw.

I hope this is the last of it... But should I get the parents to sign something to say they were told about the situation and there is no onus on the daycare?

I am so relieved I was upfront and all the parents are so easy going.
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Childminder 05:08 PM 02-14-2012
I would not. Just document it on the calendar and have your assistant witness it?
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countrymom 05:39 PM 02-14-2012
hmm, if your assistant put it in and saw it pop it, it would have only been a few seconds, literally nothing would have been seen. I have a feeling that your assistant walked away. I stand infront of my dvd player and press play manually so I would have seen it quickly and been able to shut it down within seconds. It was an accident, I wouldn't have had anyone sign anything because if it happened in seconds there was nothing to see. My parents are relaxed, I know I would have had a few who would have asked to borrow it.
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Kaddidle Care 05:50 AM 02-15-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well thank the lord that every parent was completely understanding, upset but a lot of them simply laughed it off - one DCD even asked to borrow the DVD I explained it was already returned to the parent who brought it in.
A lot of the parents wanted to know who brought it, didn't even care what the kids saw.

I hope this is the last of it... But should I get the parents to sign something to say they were told about the situation and there is no onus on the daycare?

I am so relieved I was upfront and all the parents are so easy going.
I'm so glad because to be honest, I laughed when I read it. At 2 anything they saw would be way over their heads and I'm sure it was shut down quickly.

My brother had something similar happen when a friend taped something on a VHS tape and forgot to completely rewind it before taping. But it was seen by adults and they never let the guy live it down.
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Meyou 06:33 AM 02-15-2012
I have lots of burned movies that play directly from the time you pop them in. They're ripped on the computer with no menu or previews.
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MarinaVanessa 10:00 AM 02-15-2012
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I have lots of burned movies that play directly from the time you pop them in. They're ripped on the computer with no menu or previews.
Ditto here. You can't believe the number of DVD's that have been scratched or ruined either by own kids or DC kids so we started to archive them as soon as we bought them. We made copies of the movies without the menus so that as soon as we popped them in they would play on their own. When these copies got ruined we just made a new copy and our DVD's stayed brand new.

We've since then upgraded to the Apple TV which plays the digital copies (they come with your movies now most of the time) directly from your iTunes library but even this way there are no menu's. I'm sure that either the parent (or someone in the household) made a copy of the DVD or maybe even bought a bootleg version of it. I'm glad that things worked out well for you.
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Tags:honesty, liability, provider responsibility
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