You Know You Are A Daycare Provider When...

[MsMe]

I sit down to eat lunch with the kids....and the baby(10 mo.) sneezes, bits of carrot included, ALL over my plate. I look at it for a second and decide since the baby isn't sick it is still ok at eat....

Welcome to my life

[Sunshine44]

laughing and gagging at the same time. YUCK!

[beachgrl]

Oh wow...mine is when you have children lined up sitting along the wall in the bathroom hallway so u know they arent creating havoc and u can see and talk to them while you are using the bathroom lol

[daycare]

Mine is when you are at a nice dinner potty and you say, excuse me where is your potty...lol


EWWW that is a very funny story about the baby sneezing....hahah

[MarinaVanessa]

... when you have dinner guests that are staring and smiling at you and you suddently realize that you're cutting up their steaks into little bitty pieces.

[melskids]

Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa

... when you have dinner guests that are staring and smiling at you and you suddently realize that you're cutting up their steaks into little bitty pieces.

I was just going to say that!

I got up once at a restaurant and walked around the table to my husbands plate, and started cutting his food up for him.

Of course, everyone was staring. I felt like such an idiot.

So, he just said "trained her well, huh?"

[DBug]

... when you narrate everything you do, in third person, AFTER the kids have gone home!

[Meyou]

When you meet your dh at the door and say about 100 times more words per minute that anyone thought was humanly possible because you haven't talked to a grownup all day. Then you follow him to the washroom still talking.....then he closes the door and you keep talking.

[KBCsMommy]

Originally Posted by Meyou

When you meet your dh at the door and say about 100 times more words per minute that anyone thought was humanly possible because you haven't talked to a grownup all day. Then you follow him to the washroom still talking.....then he closes the door and you keep talking.

Im literally laughing out loud!!!!!!!

This is me too!! And my husband is always like " Just let me go to the bathroom...PLEASE!!!!"

[daycare]

Originally Posted by KBCsMommy

Im literally laughing out loud!!!!!!!

This is me too!! And my husband is always like " Just let me go to the bathroom...PLEASE!!!!"

hahah I think I could have written both of those.....so funny!!!!

[MarinaVanessa]

Originally Posted by melskids

I was just going to say that!

I got up once at a restaurant and walked around the table to my husbands plate, and started cutting his food up for him.

Of course, everyone was staring. I felt like such an idiot.

So, he just said "trained her well, huh?"

Yeah pretty much sums it up. I would NEVER repeat this scenario anywhere else other than here, at least I know this hasn't just happened to me lol.

We invited friends over and I was conversating with them as I was serving their plates I started cutting up their steaks. I got to steak #3 before I ever even realized what I was doing. All of a sudden I noticed that it got real quiet and everyone was staring at me with a goofy smile. THEY WERE LETTING ME DO IT TO SEE HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE ME TO REALIZE WHAT I WAS DOING!!

[frugalmama4]

I'm crying I'm laughing so hard

Mine is when I go to the top of the stairs and talk to the dog...I mean really talk!

[daycare]

Keep these coming these are hysterically funny

[beachgrl]

Originally Posted by Meyou

When you meet your dh at the door and say about 100 times more words per minute that anyone thought was humanly possible because you haven't talked to a grownup all day. Then you follow him to the washroom still talking.....then he closes the door and you keep talking.

haha..so true!

[dave4him]

Depending on the last time you cleaned the floor, any food fallen down is fair game

[DaycareMama]

When you have a party at your house and you ask adults if they washed their hands when they come out of the bathroom

I have asked my husband if he had to go to the bathroom before we left the house

I am always "pre cutting" EVERYONES food into tiny pieces

[AmyLeigh]

Originally Posted by MsMe

I sit down to eat lunch with the kids....and the baby(10 mo.) sneezes, bits of carrot included, ALL over my plate. I look at it for a second and decide since the baby isn't sick it is still ok at eat....

Welcome to my life

Wait a minute....you SIT at lunch??????

[daycare]

Originally Posted by AmyLeigh

Wait a minute....you SIT at lunch??????

hahhah this just keeps getting funnier....

[countrymom]

Originally Posted by Meyou

When you meet your dh at the door and say about 100 times more words per minute that anyone thought was humanly possible because you haven't talked to a grownup all day. Then you follow him to the washroom still talking.....then he closes the door and you keep talking.

and don't forget the phone too, dh keeps telling me he has to eat, I tell him he can eat and listen at the same time lol

[countrymom]

I'm constantly yelling at my own kids if they have to go potty, my oldest is 13 and youngest is 7

[daycare]

Originally Posted by countrymom

I'm constantly yelling at my own kids if they have to go potty, my oldest is 13 and youngest is 7

LOL thats funny....hahahha...

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by MsMe

I sit down to eat lunch with the kids....and the baby(10 mo.) sneezes, bits of carrot included, ALL over my plate. I look at it for a second and decide since the baby isn't sick it is still ok at eat....

Welcome to my life

I need a gag icon now!

Hey if it doesn't bother you more power to ya but no way no how here in my group. I would go hungry 1st.

I can relate to so many of these! Especially talking on and on to any adult who will listen! I have also went as far as to still have my sweet child friendly voice when speaking to them.

Oh and when you know the sounds, grunts, smells of each child without looking up!

[TBird]

When random baby in the family vomited, I picked her up immediately and wiped her mouth with my hand. Her own dad looked at me like I had two heads (clearly dry heaving) and said "Did you just wipe the vomit from her mouth with your hand? I can't believe you have the stomach for that!" I said "I don't know...did I???"

Hey...I'm in the business. Sometimes 'fluids' come with the job!!!

[Meyou]

When noone is allowed to leave the house without lining up for their potty turn first. But it's the weekend and your kids are teenagers.

When a baby sneezes directly into your mouth and you aren't nearly as grossed out as you should be.

When you look down and don't see too many boogie trails on your jeans so you run to the store anyway because you have a long jacket and it kinda covers it up.

[countrymom]

Originally Posted by Meyou

When noone is allowed to leave the house without lining up for their potty turn first. But it's the weekend and your kids are teenagers.

When a baby sneezes directly into your mouth and you aren't nearly as grossed out as you should be.

When you look down and don't see too many boogie trails on your jeans so you run to the store anyway because you have a long jacket and it kinda covers it up.

I do that with my pants, if I don't have too much boogers than the pants are just fine.

when your dck's are talking to you and are spitting all over your face and glasses and then ask why are your glasses wet.

[karen]

I am laughing so hard right now....Great Thread!

When you walk around with booger tissue in your coat pocket
When you are out in public and waiting in line for the bathroom you notice the girl ahead of you didn't wash her hands so you say....Excuse me you forgot to wash your hands she says so and you say that's gross get back in here and wash your hands!
When a kid is throwing up and other grown ups are gagging and it doesn't even bother you.
When a child is screaming at the top of their lungs and it doesn't even phase you...you just keep going on with what you were doing.
When a baby has a poopy blow out of the diaper and you find it funny because their is poo everywhere. Your to focused on the funny faces the baby is making!
When your puppy bites you in a playful way and you say ouch that hurts Miss Karen is not for biting or I am not for hurting.

[saved4always]

When your friend says to you "ummmm, did you know you have a booger on the back of your sweatshirt?" and you still wear it home.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by saved4always

When your friend says to you "ummmm, did you know you have a booger on the back of your sweatshirt?" and you still wear it home.

lol hahahhah and EEEWWWWW

[MrsB]

I was talking about this with someone on the chat forum the other day...

When you smell someone dirtied their diaper and you know exactly who did it by the smell.

when your DCKs say to you "I have a tummy ache and no, I dont have to go poop"

[AmyLeigh]

Originally Posted by karen

When a child is screaming at the top of their lungs and it doesn't even phase you...you just keep going on with what you were doing.

I had a dcm ask how I can stand all the screaming. I actually had to stop and listen for a minute to realize all 4 boys were yelling at top volume! It was a playful yell, so I tuned it completely out.

[MrsB]

These remind me of the time my husband came home from work to sub for me because I had an appointment. Before I left I let him know to be prepared because one of the DCB had not pooped yet. I came home to find my husband with his military issue gas mask on with the boy laying there on a towel and a WHOLE thing of baby wipes had been used.

[MrsB]

You know you are a provider when...

You you can use every last milimeter of a baby wipe. Which in turn means you can clean a poopy mess with only one or two wipes!

[MrsB]

Originally Posted by AmyLeigh

I had a dcm ask how I can stand all the screaming. I actually had to stop and listen for a minute to realize all 4 boys were yelling at top volume! It was a playful yell, so I tuned it completely out.

So funny!

[beachgrl]

When you can hear several kids talking to you at once even over the squealing and screaching from the others....

when your furbabies start whining as soon as they hear the high chair trays un snap after mealtimes bc they know you are going to let them out to "clean up' the stray items that hit the floor...

when you can hear a certain scream while changing a diaper and know exactly who it is and why they are probably doing it!

[renodeb]

Mine is when I know all the words to all the books on my book shelf without even looking down! I know not that funny but oh so true.
I cant tell you how many times I have cut my teenage sons sandwhich in quarters before I pack it in his lunch. You should see the looks I get from him. One day we were having spagetti and I was cutting his noodles up.
Debbie

[Sunchimes]

I hum. I hum almost all the time and think nothing of it. I don't realize I'm doing it most of the time, and even when I do it in public, I figure a little music never hurt anyone. I realized the other day that I was going through Walmart humming "I'm a Little Teapot".

... when you are around ONLY adults and you are spelling "bad" words to them.

[beachgrl]

You are otw into the grocery store in the early am hours and realize you threw on/recycled a pair of pants..and look down saying to yourself, "hope there isnat anything on these, at leaast not that shows up lol"

[BigMama]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

... when you are around ONLY adults and you are spelling "bad" words to them.

Lol...yes - this! I do it all the time!

[Suzanne]

Originally Posted by Meyou

When you meet your dh at the door and say about 100 times more words per minute that anyone thought was humanly possible because you haven't talked to a grownup all day. Then you follow him to the washroom still talking.....then he closes the door and you keep talking.

This made me laugh so hard!! This is definitely true for me!
However, I definitely can NOT eat lunch with the kids. I gag when I have to hear their smacking sounds from eating with their mouths wide open and food is falling out. (even though I tell them to chew with their mouths closed) It just grosses me out SO BAD.
I definitely need more practice in the wet wipe department too. I wear latex gloves when I change poopy diapers and even then I sometimes go a little overboard on the wipes. Then I wrap the poopy up in the gloves and still put it in a plastic bag before disposing of it. I know I'm gonna be very popular with the "green" people but I can't help it!! What's funny is I used to be so much less of a germaphobe BEFORE doing daycare. Its definitely ruined me in that way...
Anyway keep the funny stories coming- I needed a good laugh today!! :-)

[Suzanne]

Oh, and one more thing... I JUST stopped peeling and cutting up my own kids fruit in their school lunches - they're in Middle school for the love of pete!! :-)

[iheartkids]

When during an conversation with an adult, something they said gives you the urge to break out into a children's song. Or everything you do around the house requires a made-up song! My husband is annoyed by it...my kids are entertained by it! lol

[Cat Herder]

.....when you give up an anticipated dinner date reservation for drive through/picnic because you were seated next to a family with 4 young, badly behaving kids.

I NEED to be off duty at some point...YKWIM?

[countrymom]

Originally Posted by Catherder

.....when you give up an anticipated dinner date reservation for drive through/picnic because you were seated next to a family with 4 young, badly behaving kids.

I NEED to be off duty at some point...YKWIM?

when your own children who are raised in your daycare start to point out bad children in the store and restaurant and start to tell you that they need to stand in the corner because "we don't behave like that"

[MrsB]

When your own kids call you "Mrs.B" because they know it will get a quicker response than "mom".

[DBug]

Originally Posted by MrsB

when your DCKs say to you "I have a tummy ache and no, I dont have to go poop"

So true!


... when you get 4 kids dressed in snowpants, mitts, hats, coats, and boots in the same amount of time it takes a dcp to put a pair of snowpants on their own child

[MsMe]

Originally Posted by AmyLeigh

Wait a minute....you SIT at lunch??????

I don't always get to but this day there was an extra chair and I needed to feed the baby so I took the seat next to her. I was also "treating" myself to some full fat daycare food....instead of my dreaded dieat food.

I also liek the one about the baby sneezing in your mouth....the only two times I have gotten a cold in the last 4 years is the two times a sick child sneezed in my mouth....no amout of hand waxshing is going to make THAT better.

I also spell bad words with grown ups,
and ALL of my friends call me Ms. *****...I also mostly call my mother (my partner) Ms. ******, it is more of a habbit now than Mom.

[christinaskids]

I change my clothes more than a toddler because the little ones wipe their hands or boogers on me constantly. I also never wear my hair down because the babiea get boogies in my hair or sneeze in it.

I know who pooped by the smell

My husband also gets really annoyed because i cant stop talking to him after he gets home.

I have to stop myself from saying something to every kid i see if they are misbehaving. I told my 9 and 12 year old kids that 'we dont talk like that' earlier today when they were having some sibling rivalry haha

[Bookworm]

Omg, I thought I was the only one who didn't hear all the screaming and yelling.

[karen]

The creative swear words that you have come up with......
1. GOD BLESS AMERICA
2. SON OF A BISCUIT
3. FLIPPIN PANCAKES
4. POO POO POOOOOO!
When I am mad I say these all the time. Try saying these during an adult conversation and see who laughs at you first.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by karen

The creative swear words that you have come up with......
1. GOD BLESS AMERICA
2. SON OF A BISCUIT
3. FLIPPIN PANCAKES
4. POO POO POOOOOO!
When I am mad I say these all the time. Try saying these during an adult conversation and see who laughs at you first.

lol....me toooo.

holy cow moly

fudgecicles, Popsicle I hurt my ____________

Ichhee Mama Mia

Fiddle Sticks

Whats more funny is that the kids say them too and they have no clue...

[KDC]

Every time I wash my hands...

A-B-C-D-E-F ...X-Y-Z, Now I know my hands are clean, next time won't you wash with me!! Look how sparkly.

Daycare swear word... awww nuggets.

[beachgrl]

Originally Posted by karen

The creative swear words that you have come up with......
1. GOD BLESS AMERICA
2. SON OF A BISCUIT
3. FLIPPIN PANCAKES
4. POO POO POOOOOO!
When I am mad I say these all the time. Try saying these during an adult conversation and see who laughs at you first.

My new Favorite from "How I met your Mother" : SWEET POTATO FRIES!

[beachgrl]

I also love:

For the love of lu lu...been using that one for years, my ta's always got a kick out of that one!

[beachgrl]

okay all..so this morning before the kids even got here:

I let the dogs out and when I went back out to let them back in...I actually asked if they were all done "and" signed all done to them, haha..

[MsMe]

We had a daycare girl make a "swear word" she would use when she was angry.

Chic-a-bock-a-hoo.

[Sunchimes]

When I'm irritated about something, I say "Ro-o-a-a-r-r-r" Sometimes the kids are not even here. Now, all of my babies roar when they are frustrated. Hasn't eliminated whining completely, but it has helped! And it's really cute to see a baby sit there and say "roar".

Learned that trick from a nanny friend.