Rude Parents

[gbcc]

I just don't know what goes through their minds sometimes. I asked every family what days they will be here for february recess. I had two families tell me right out that they can't afford to have them here for the entire day so they will be going to grandparents.

So I thought, well this is great! I can fit the children left into my van and we can take a field trip. I pay for everything, no cost to parents. Well my assistants kid leaked to everyone abou the field trip. So these two families that didn't want to pay me all of a sudden tell me. "well let us know the day and I will make sure they are here." What? you don't want to pay me but I should take your child on a field trip and spend money on them?? With the extra I would have to pay for admission and to have an extra person help transport I am spending way more than I would get for that one day. THEN, ugh. one parent had the nerve to ask if they could just pay for half the day of care and she will just drop the children off before the field trip and pick them up right after returning home. How do they not see this as rude.

So what do I do? Tell the parents since they said they wouldn't be there I planned a trip and there is no room? Cancel it? I did not plan on paying the extra money, so I am not taking the ones that are too cheap to pay me. I could never do that to my provider. I am just so upset by their obviuos lack of respect for me and what I do for their kids.

[momma2girls]

Originally Posted by gbcc

I just don't know what goes through their minds sometimes. I asked every family what days they will be here for february recess. I had two families tell me right out that they can't afford to have them here for the entire day so they will be going to grandparents.

So I thought, well this is great! I can fit the children left into my van and we can take a field trip. I pay for everything, no cost to parents. Well my assistants kid leaked to everyone abou the field trip. So these two families that didn't want to pay me all of a sudden tell me. "well let us know the day and I will make sure they are here." What? you don't want to pay me but I should take your child on a field trip and spend money on them?? With the extra I would have to pay for admission and to have an extra person help transport I am spending way more than I would get for that one day. THEN, ugh. one parent had the nerve to ask if they could just pay for half the day of care and she will just drop the children off before the field trip and pick them up right after returning home. How do they not see this as rude.

So what do I do? Tell the parents since they said they wouldn't be there I planned a trip and there is no room? Cancel it? I did not plan on paying the extra money, so I am not taking the ones that are too cheap to pay me. I could never do that to my provider. I am just so upset by their obviuos lack of respect for me and what I do for their kids.

I would definately tell them, I do not have the room, and I only planned on so many going. I have had this happen before about 5 yrs. ago, her girl wanted to come a couple of days a week during the summer to play with my daughter, then she got to be where she would only come on Fri. because it was field trip days on Fri. the Mom was my cousin's wife- yeah, she would call on Fri. and ask are you going to have a field trip day today, if not she really didn't want to come. I was only having her as a fillin every once in a while. That got really old fast, there was even a couple of times, I would go early and see she had called while we were already gone!!!! UGHHHHH!!!!

[originalkat]

I would tell the parents that you planned the trip based on the number of children that would be there on that day and you can not accomidate more children without more drivers and supervision. If they want to accompany you on the trip with their child then they are welcome to come along. I would think they will probably not. That assistant of yours...she needs to keep her mouth shut about stuff like that.

[gbcc]

Originally Posted by originalkat

I would tell the parents that you planned the trip based on the number of children that would be there on that day and you can not accomidate more children without more drivers and supervision. If they want to accompany you on the trip with their child then they are welcome to come along. I would think they will probably not. That assistant of yours...she needs to keep her mouth shut about stuff like that.

Well if I offer for them to accompany us on the trip as I didn't plan on it and have no room, would I be responsible to pay for it? I don't mean to be cheap but I barely have extra to pay for my 8 kids I planned on paying for let alone 4 other children and their parents. Even though they were rude about it, I don't want to be in return. Know what I mean?

My friend who is a provider told me to pretend we will take them and claim that my car wont start so they get stuck paying me. I don't think that is right, but funny!

[momma2girls]

Originally Posted by gbcc

Well if I offer for them to accompany us on the trip as I didn't plan on it and have no room, would I be responsible to pay for it? I don't mean to be cheap but I barely have extra to pay for my 8 kids I planned on paying for let alone 4 other children and their parents. Even though they were rude about it, I don't want to be in return. Know what I mean?

My friend who is a provider told me to pretend we will take them and claim that my car wont start so they get stuck paying me. I don't think that is right, but funny!

I would just say there isn't any room for anymore of the children, sorry!!!!

[AfterSchoolMom]

If I were you, I'd do just what Iowa Daycare suggested and tell the parents that you planned the trip based on the number of kids that RSVP'd for that date, that you have no room, and that you can't accept them for that day. I wouldn't offer to have the parents accompany the kids either. It's not your responsibility to pay for an activity for a child who's parents already told you they wouldn't be coming. That isn't fair to you or to the other children. Don't feel guilty!

[misol]

Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom

If I were you, I'd do just what Iowa Daycare suggested and tell the parents that you planned the trip based on the number of kids that RSVP'd for that date, that you have no room, and that you can't accept them for that day. I wouldn't offer to have the parents accompany the kids either. It's not your responsibility to pay for an activity for a child who's parents already told you they wouldn't be coming. That isn't fair to you or to the other children. Don't feel guilty!

Absolutely agree!

I agree too with telling the parents that you planned the trip AFTER they stated their children would not be there giving you enough space available to do the field trip, I also have it state that once a parent tells me they wont be here there is no "changing their minds' as i plan my days around when and who will be here.
Kiddie Care

[momofboys]

Originally Posted by gbcc

Well if I offer for them to accompany us on the trip as I didn't plan on it and have no room, would I be responsible to pay for it? I don't mean to be cheap but I barely have extra to pay for my 8 kids I planned on paying for let alone 4 other children and their parents. Even though they were rude about it, I don't want to be in return. Know what I mean?

My friend who is a provider told me to pretend we will take them and claim that my car wont start so they get stuck paying me. I don't think that is right, but funny!

I would just tell them outright that since had already told you they wouldn't be able to come & you have already made the plans/bought tickets, etc. Say they are welcome to come too HOWEVER they will need to drive & accompany their child in addition to purchasing their own tickets. It is rude & expecting a lot of you to accomodate them.

[Pammie]

Oh no....they told you they didn't need care for the day...so you made plans for the kids that RSVPd...tell them sorry, you don't have room!

[gbcc]

I am just beside myself here. I just find it so rude. It really lets me know what they think of me though. I would be so embarassed to tell a provider that I don't want to pay them for the wk but expected them to take them on a field trip.

I didn't mean to exclude their children. There was just an opportunity and I took it.

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by janarae

I would just tell them outright that since had already told you they wouldn't be able to come & you have already made the plans/bought tickets, etc. Say they are welcome to come too HOWEVER they will need to drive & accompany their child in addition to purchasing their own tickets. It is rude & expecting a lot of you to accomodate them.

I agree with this. It is pretty rude of them. If they want their child to go they will have to take them and pay themselves.

And that Assi. Kids needs to learn a few things!!

[gbcc]

Originally Posted by Persephone

And that Assi. Kids needs to learn a few things!!

Oh ya, have you read my other bazillion posts regarding him?!! Lol!

[TGT09]

I also plan field trips for the children that I KNOW will be there. If I planned something and ended up having drop-in's I would either cancel or not accept the drop-in's. I agree with everyone above me. I would tell them that the field trip was planned on a certain amount of children because you asked AHEAD of time if you would have them.

[momma2girls]

I know this Spring/Summer- I plan on field trips, etc.. and if the families are not here, when I go to leave, I will leave without them, and take it they are not going to be there that day!! I leave around 9 am, and if they are contracted for 7:30, they will have to find alternate care that day, or come and find me. When they have to do this once, hopefully will not be late again! The same thing goes for walks, etc...... I can't wait to be able to do this again!! Darn winter!!!!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Ugg...why are some parents so frustrating!!??

Like the others, I would tell the parent you have no room as you planned the trip with who was already attending. That's the safe way to go.

[gbcc]

Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY

Ugg...why are some parents so frustrating!!??

I don't know but I am about to be rude myself and come right out and ask them!!

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by gbcc

I don't know but I am about to be rude myself and come right out and ask them!!

So did you say something to the parents who changed their minds about going?

[tymaboy]

During the summer my kids schedules differ from week to week so I take advantage too of the small numbers. If I can take them out somewhere I will. I let the parents whose kids will be here know that we are going out cuz I only have XX & XX. They know when I only have a few kids incare we will do something 'special' cuz I cant do it otherwise.

[gbcc]

Originally Posted by Persephone

So did you say something to the parents who changed their minds about going?

I started to tell one parent that there was no room and she flipped out on me. I was signalling her children out and only planned it so I didn't have to bring them ect. ect. So I just said it was cancelled. If it comes up after the fact I will just say it happened to work out so we went. I wasn't going to cater to anyones schedules. This is my business and I decide when and where we go. Not to mention my money!

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by gbcc

I started to tell one parent that there was no room and she flipped out on me. I was signalling her children out and only planned it so I didn't have to bring them ect. ect. So I just said it was cancelled. If it comes up after the fact I will just say it happened to work out so we went. I wasn't going to cater to anyones schedules. This is my business and I decide when and where we go. Not to mention my money!

So your still going to do it? Just not tell her? That's what I would do too. You were not signalling her children out. She told you she was not going to go that day so you made plans for the children that would be there.

[gbcc]

Yes, I am still doing it. I don't like confrontation, especially infront of the parents. I don't agree with that. She can call me during nap hours to discuss it. I wont speak with her after hours as that is my family time and I will not waste it argueing with an ungrateful parent.

[Carole's Daycare]

Originally Posted by Persephone

So your still going to do it? Just not tell her? That's what I would do too. You were not signalling her children out. She told you she was not going to go that day so you made plans for the children that would be there.

Agreed. Quite frankly, I have specifically planned outings for days that more difficult children would not be in attendance. I was definitely singling them out, and am completely unapologetic for it. If I have a child in care with bad behavior that makes me question the safety of an outing I exclude them (after all, I can't adequately supervise other kids while catering to a couple of kids who never learned to behave) It's not like I pretend with those parents. I tell them clearly if their children do not meet expectations for acceptable behavior, and let them know that I KNOW that it is caused by inconsistent /lack of discipline at home. In the future if they want their children included they can pay for an extra helper for the day, or get with the program and support my efforts to create some discipline,emotional control, self respect and respect for others in their kids. Special events are a priviledge to be earned. I have even charged an additional cost for my part -timers that aren't willing to pay full time rates for special events- singling them out- stating this event/activity has a cost that is budgeted for full-time attendees and can be absorbed by their previous and ongoing full time payments, you, however, do not pay those rates and those activities are not free for you.
In this case- I would stick to my guns and say the trip/outing is expensive and I only have room in my vehicle and supervision to handle the 8 who said they were going to be here and were willing to pay for the whole day. I made plans based on the number, space, supervision and group dynamics. You wanted to be cheap and said you weren't going to be here-too bad you missed out. I would not lie or be ashamed. When/if they find out they'll be even angrier. The parent screwed up here, not you- it was their choice initially not to attend, and now the plans are finalized and cannot be changed. If they want their child to be involved in daycare experiences they needed to be willing to pay the price.

[gbcc]

Some excellent points you made! The parent is making me out to be the cheap bad guy but they are the cheap ones that caused this whole nonsence.

In the past I have avoided taking feild trips on days when part time children are here. I do feel bad for that, but they only pay so much and I don't want to just throw the money back at them if you know what I mean. Do you mind if I ask what you charge to take a part timer on a field trip? I am wondering if it's a flat rate or if you charge based on admission? I think this would be an excellent thing to add into part time contracts. I do have one part time family that pays full time so they are always included. There are a few very undisciplined children that I dread taking on a trip. I might consider your thoughts on safety as well.

Also, lets be honest. If we were not cheap at points in this business, we would not have a business.

[Persephone]

Originally Posted by Carole's Daycare

Agreed. Quite frankly, I have specifically planned outings for days that more difficult children would not be in attendance. I was definitely singling them out, and am completely unapologetic for it. If I have a child in care with bad behavior that makes me question the safety of an outing I exclude them (after all, I can't adequately supervise other kids while catering to a couple of kids who never learned to behave) It's not like I pretend with those parents. I tell them clearly if their children do not meet expectations for acceptable behavior, and let them know that I KNOW that it is caused by inconsistent /lack of discipline at home. In the future if they want their children included they can pay for an extra helper for the day, or get with the program and support my efforts to create some discipline,emotional control, self respect and respect for others in their kids. Special events are a priviledge to be earned. I have even charged an additional cost for my part -timers that aren't willing to pay full time rates for special events- singling them out- stating this event/activity has a cost that is budgeted for full-time attendees and can be absorbed by their previous and ongoing full time payments, you, however, do not pay those rates and those activities are not free for you.
In this case- I would stick to my guns and say the trip/outing is expensive and I only have room in my vehicle and supervision to handle the 8 who said they were going to be here and were willing to pay for the whole day. I made plans based on the number, space, supervision and group dynamics. You wanted to be cheap and said you weren't going to be here-too bad you missed out. I would not lie or be ashamed. When/if they find out they'll be even angrier. The parent screwed up here, not you- it was their choice initially not to attend, and now the plans are finalized and cannot be changed. If they want their child to be involved in daycare experiences they needed to be willing to pay the price.

Hey they way I look at it is that her plans were canceled. But if the day comes and she's low on numbers and can fit them in her van and they just happened to all be good that day, who says she can't just go on a little trip. Last min.

[Carole's Daycare]

Last minute argument negates the initial argument that it was too late to change plans already made. But along the lines of "its easier to ask forgiveness than permission " after its done she'll either be mad enough to leave- blaming the provider for leaving out her kids and lying, or she'll suck it up and find other obnoxious ways to act out her resentment by thwarting policies.
My contract has a clause that states I may charge up to $10 per month for additional materials/activities per month, as well as any additional costs related to special events or outings. Very rarely do I need to do that, and certainly I do it more for part-timers. For field trips I charge actual cost for part-timers- so for example admission to zoo, $10, plan to stop at Dairy queen on way back, $1.50, .50 for stupid feed machines at zoo,part-time parent pays $12 in advance to participate in that outing. If I bring a helper that I'm paying $10/hr for that outing- I divide the $50 by the 10 clients coming and ask everyone for $5 toward the zoo trip, the part timer would pay $17, everyone else pays $5. I give 2 weeks notice of the day,event and cost along with a permission slip stating EXACTLY what we are doing. Ex: I give ________permission to go to the zoo in (location) with Carole's Daycare. I understand my child will be transported in Carole's van. The daycare will tour the zoo, visit the petting zoo and feed the animals. A picnic lunch packed by the daycare will be provided and eaten at the adjacent park, where the kids will play before the return trip. A stop at the Dairy Queen in (town) will be made on the return trip. I understand that even under a parents care, a child could fall and get hurt or suffer some injury during the normal course of such events. We will not hold Carole's Daycare liable for any injury not stemming from neglect or negligence on her part. Carole's Daycare has employed (name of helper) to provide additional supervision. The additional cost to me for the field trip is $_____________.
They sign & pay in advance. If they don't want to participate and they have a free day left they can use it. I only allow 3 free days per year for full-time paid in advance clients. If they are used up, they are responsible for the daily rate whether they attend or not.

In addition I use a form similar to the one we had in Girl Scouts for outings(library etc.) 1 page form for entire year with emergency info on it and several lines to put location and date and signature that can be taken with me in a folder.