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  #1  
Old 10-19-2012, 04:25 AM
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Brooksie Brooksie is offline
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Default Rough Housing/Pushing & Hitting

My daughters father and her have a great relationship. One of the things they do together is rough house and wrestle. She absolutely loves it and giggles and signs for "more" when they play. He's been doing this with her since she was probably 6-7 months old.

Problem is, she's starting to push and hit here at home/daycare. I'm trained in SEFEL and always talk about how hitting hurts and that's not how to be a good friend. I talk about how it makes the other kids sad and what not.

Last week she tackled a DCB to the ground and while I was comforting him and talking to her about how upset he was, she picked up a truck and hit me in the head and laughed! She's not being malicious, she just thinks she's playing because of what her and her father do.

I've talked to him about it man times and he basically has the "oh well, she's just going to have to learn. I'm not going to stop because she love it" attitude. (She's only 22 mo)

Does ANY ONE have ANY suggestions. It really worries me that my biggest liability is my own daughter
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Old 10-19-2012, 05:59 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Don't hate me but I agree with you DD's father.

She WILL have to learn. Kids figure out pretty quickly what is and isn't acceptable in different surroundings and who does and doesn't allow certain types of behaviors/play.

I think with some continuous reinforcement and boundaries, your DD WILL figure out that rough housing is ok with daddy only.

I think like any unwanted behavior you see/have in the child care environment, you just have to be on top of it and try your best to intercept her before she starts getting rough.

I know that isn't always possible but being consistent and firm each and every time, stopping it and using words to convey that wrestling is ok with daddy only and NOT the other kids will have an impact sooner or later.

I had this same issue with my DS when he was younger. I just stayed firm and stopped it any time I saw it starting by saying "No, you ONLY wrestle with daddy." and then would remove him from the situation for a minute.

Rinse and repeat.
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Old 10-19-2012, 06:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Don't hate me but I agree with you DD's father.

She WILL have to learn. Kids figure out pretty quickly what is and isn't acceptable in different surroundings and who does and doesn't allow certain types of behaviors/play.

I think with some continuous reinforcement and boundaries, your DD WILL figure out that rough housing is ok with daddy only.

I think like any unwanted behavior you see/have in the child care environment, you just have to be on top of it and try your best to intercept her before she starts getting rough.

I know that isn't always possible but being consistent and firm each and every time, stopping it and using words to convey that wrestling is ok with daddy only and NOT the other kids will have an impact sooner or later.

I had this same issue with my DS when he was younger. I just stayed firm and stopped it any time I saw it starting by saying "No, you ONLY wrestle with daddy." and then would remove him from the situation for a minute.

Rinse and repeat.
Oh that's a great idea! Thanks! I was thinking the behavior was going to have to stop completely, but you're right. I appreciate it. Hopefully she picks up that concept sooner than later!
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Old 10-19-2012, 06:14 AM
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I agree with BC. had the same issues with my sons and just reminded them that 'wrestling is with Daddy ONLY'.
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Old 10-19-2012, 06:41 AM
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Thanks guys. I feel much better knowing they can continue doing the things they love to do together.
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Old 10-19-2012, 07:12 AM
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so when she hits him in the head with a truck is he still going to think it is funny ?

What would he want you to do with another child that attacked her. Would well he is just playing work ? I doubt it. He IS teaching her violence is fine. Wrestle and tickle fine.. shove and hit no way... He needs to calm it down.
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Old 10-19-2012, 07:26 AM
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so when she hits him in the head with a truck is he still going to think it is funny ?

What would he want you to do with another child that attacked her. Would well he is just playing work ? I doubt it. He IS teaching her violence is fine. Wrestle and tickle fine.. shove and hit no way... He needs to calm it down.
This.


Whacking someone in the head with anything at near two years old waaaaay crosses the line between harmless wrestling around and into being flat out nasty aggressive.

Redirection is fine but at that point I'd also be getting pretty firm with my words and expressions to convey that that is NOT ok and will NOT be tolerated.

I'd highly encourage you to encourage dad to express those same sentiments to her. Coming from both parents it'll have more of an impact. Guaranteed he would not be ok with her getting hurt by someone else in that same way, I'd drive that point home.
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Old 10-19-2012, 07:53 AM
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I'd highly encourage you to encourage dad to express those same sentiments to her. Coming from both parents it'll have more of an impact. Guaranteed he would not be ok with her getting hurt by someone else in that same way, I'd drive that point home.
I agree. I feel like this whole process would be going a lot smoother and quicker if I could get him on board. I know you guys probably understand this kind of parent, but he is definitely in his own world if you know what I mean. Its very difficult to get him to see out side his box and how it affects our child and other people.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Brooksie View Post
I agree. I feel like this whole process would be going a lot smoother and quicker if I could get him on board. I know you guys probably understand this kind of parent, but he is definitely in his own world if you know what I mean. Its very difficult to get him to see out side his box and how it affects our child and other people.
My kids dad is like this so I totally get it lol

I realize it is dishonest but I'd flat out lie and tell him some other kid in care is workin her over.....but it's no big deal, because you're sure he'll figure it out on his own eventually

I prefer the sarcastic passive aggressive approach with him in particular, and it usually works quite well
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