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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>One Of The BEST Stories I've Been Told By A DCP!
wdmmom 11:36 AM 08-16-2013
I watched a dcb for about a year before he went off to preschool last year.
This year, I took him during summer break.
I've had a few problems with this kid but nothing I can't handle. Usually a lot of back talking, "why's" and jacked up style playing which I don't allow.
On Tuesday, for whatever reason, dcb says to dcg that he was going to kill her sister which is much younger and plays on the opposite side of the room!
I, of course, separated him from the group and made him play alone and notified his parents. I basically said..."School doesn't allow threats like that, neither do we and if it happens again, I will not fulfill the agreement to watch him until September 5th."
I heard NOTHING from dcm or dcd. until pickup. And this is the story I was told!
"When DCB goes into a rage at home, we have what's called a "Calm Zone". The Calm Zone is a 4*6 foot area rug. DCM or I will sit Indian style, facing the child, our knees touch and our foreheads touch and we do breathing techniques and count to get him to calm down. We've found that getting in his face isn't really productive and he doesn't respond to it. Separating him from the group isn't beneficial either as he doesn't like playing alone and this usually exacerbates the rage."
I about DIED!!! I don't know what came first, the
or the 
.
This year, I took him during summer break.
I've had a few problems with this kid but nothing I can't handle. Usually a lot of back talking, "why's" and jacked up style playing which I don't allow.
On Tuesday, for whatever reason, dcb says to dcg that he was going to kill her sister which is much younger and plays on the opposite side of the room!
I, of course, separated him from the group and made him play alone and notified his parents. I basically said..."School doesn't allow threats like that, neither do we and if it happens again, I will not fulfill the agreement to watch him until September 5th."
I heard NOTHING from dcm or dcd. until pickup. And this is the story I was told!
"When DCB goes into a rage at home, we have what's called a "Calm Zone". The Calm Zone is a 4*6 foot area rug. DCM or I will sit Indian style, facing the child, our knees touch and our foreheads touch and we do breathing techniques and count to get him to calm down. We've found that getting in his face isn't really productive and he doesn't respond to it. Separating him from the group isn't beneficial either as he doesn't like playing alone and this usually exacerbates the rage."
I about DIED!!! I don't know what came first, the
or the .
Blackcat31 11:49 AM 08-16-2013
holy crap! For real???
I would have had a hard time not laughing out loud at them too!
I had a 4 yr old DCB many years ago that had fits of anger and rage. I was told to sandwich him between two sofa cushions and hold him in a bear hug until he stopped.
Yeah, because that works great for reducing anger and frustration.
The minute he said he was going to kill someone else, I would have termed immediately.
It's pretty darn sad that we have to deal with that kind of thing in an early childhood setting.
For real???I would have had a hard time not laughing out loud at them too!
I had a 4 yr old DCB many years ago that had fits of anger and rage. I was told to sandwich him between two sofa cushions and hold him in a bear hug until he stopped.
Yeah, because that works great for reducing anger and frustration.
The minute he said he was going to kill someone else, I would have termed immediately.
It's pretty darn sad that we have to deal with that kind of thing in an early childhood setting.
mema 12:00 PM 08-16-2013
Cause his kindergarten teacher is going to say, hang on a minute class, I need to go touch foreheads with Jimmy on the rug
.
MarinaVanessa 12:01 PM 08-16-2013
"I doubt what you are trying is working either since the behavior is continuing both at home and here at daycare as well. I will need a plan of action from you with an alternative behavioral plan to attempt to curb it. As I mentioned before, I have no tolerance for behavior like this"
--is what my response would have been for them. Possibly even ...
"Doing at daycare what you do at home isn't realistic because that would take time away from supervising the other children which is a safety concern. It also isn't fair to the other parents who pay for child care here who expect a certain level of care for their money's worth"
--- then maybe even add...
"If you wish I can call you at work if something like this happens again and you and or your husband can come here and either take him home to do your "Calm Zone" method or do it here at daycare."
--is what my response would have been for them. Possibly even ...
"Doing at daycare what you do at home isn't realistic because that would take time away from supervising the other children which is a safety concern. It also isn't fair to the other parents who pay for child care here who expect a certain level of care for their money's worth"
--- then maybe even add...
"If you wish I can call you at work if something like this happens again and you and or your husband can come here and either take him home to do your "Calm Zone" method or do it here at daycare."
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:06 PM 08-16-2013
Whaaat?
Lefse&Kids 01:12 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
"I doubt what you are trying is working either since the behavior is continuing both at home and here at daycare as well. I will need a plan of action from you with an alternative behavioral plan to attempt to curb it. As I mentioned before, I have no tolerance for behavior like this"
--is what my response would have been for them. Possibly even ...
"Doing at daycare what you do at home isn't realistic because that would take time away from supervising the other children which is a safety concern. It also isn't fair to the other parents who pay for child care here who expect a certain level of care for their money's worth"
--- then maybe even add...
"If you wish I can call you at work if something like this happens again and you and or your husband can come here and either take him home to do your "Calm Zone" method or do it here at daycare."
"I doubt what you are trying is working either since the behavior is continuing both at home and here at daycare as well. I will need a plan of action from you with an alternative behavioral plan to attempt to curb it. As I mentioned before, I have no tolerance for behavior like this"
--is what my response would have been for them. Possibly even ...
"Doing at daycare what you do at home isn't realistic because that would take time away from supervising the other children which is a safety concern. It also isn't fair to the other parents who pay for child care here who expect a certain level of care for their money's worth"
--- then maybe even add...
"If you wish I can call you at work if something like this happens again and you and or your husband can come here and either take him home to do your "Calm Zone" method or do it here at daycare."
it may work if your a sahm and have all the time in the world and don't mind that your never allowed to go anywhere cuz you'll have to get kum-bi-ya (spelling?) with your kid wherever you go.....it may work then
nannyde 01:29 PM 08-16-2013
They might as well just have him sit on their lap and pet him for his most excellent behavior.
What they are REALLY saying is that he needs lots of special one to one lovins from the adult and then NO consequences.
When he's a teenager and he threatens to burn the school to the ground the cops will just come and sit with him, touch knees and foreheads and take deep breaths INSTEAD of cuffing him, throwing him in the back of the squad car and hauling him to Juvvy.
The “calm zone" will be called a CELL if they keep this up.
He's special and he needs special love. Doesn't matter what he actually does... he just NEEDS it so you should DO it.
What they are REALLY saying is that he needs lots of special one to one lovins from the adult and then NO consequences.
When he's a teenager and he threatens to burn the school to the ground the cops will just come and sit with him, touch knees and foreheads and take deep breaths INSTEAD of cuffing him, throwing him in the back of the squad car and hauling him to Juvvy.
The “calm zone" will be called a CELL if they keep this up.
He's special and he needs special love. Doesn't matter what he actually does... he just NEEDS it so you should DO it.
Familycare71 01:51 PM 08-16-2013
The “calm zone" will be called a CELL if they keep this up
That's great!!!
That's great!!!
sharlan 01:52 PM 08-16-2013
My favorite one was with a 10 yo girl with ADHD who was in total control of the family. And, I do mean TOTAL control. She was quite proud to tell everyone that she was in the boss in her family. The child was seeing a psychiatrist and the family was going to counseling with a psychologist.
I had very little trouble with her because I did not allow her to be in control or to manipulate the other kids. All was well until one day when Mom came in and said that in order to give her a command, I had to get down on her level and hold her face with both of my hands, and then make eye contact BEFORE I could give her any command such as come to the table to eat breakfast or get into the car for school.
The next day, I turned off the cartoons and told the kids that breakfast was ready. I had 7 from ages 2 to 10. All came to the table but her. I went back into the living room and told her to come and eat. She glared at me and said, "I am the boss and I don't have to do anything you say until YOU get down on your hands and knees and look me in the eyes."
I told her, "Your choice, breakfast is ready." and walked back to the kitchen. She went to school that day without breakfast. Mom was livid with me at pickup that day. Dad called to yell at me about not following the psychologist's orders. I told both parents that I would not play her games and they needed to find other care effective immediately.
Sadly, they had the sweetest, most angelic 6 yo boy who was so neglected because of his sister having to be the center of the universe.
I had very little trouble with her because I did not allow her to be in control or to manipulate the other kids. All was well until one day when Mom came in and said that in order to give her a command, I had to get down on her level and hold her face with both of my hands, and then make eye contact BEFORE I could give her any command such as come to the table to eat breakfast or get into the car for school.
The next day, I turned off the cartoons and told the kids that breakfast was ready. I had 7 from ages 2 to 10. All came to the table but her. I went back into the living room and told her to come and eat. She glared at me and said, "I am the boss and I don't have to do anything you say until YOU get down on your hands and knees and look me in the eyes."
I told her, "Your choice, breakfast is ready." and walked back to the kitchen. She went to school that day without breakfast. Mom was livid with me at pickup that day. Dad called to yell at me about not following the psychologist's orders. I told both parents that I would not play her games and they needed to find other care effective immediately.
Sadly, they had the sweetest, most angelic 6 yo boy who was so neglected because of his sister having to be the center of the universe.
MyAngels 02:16 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by mema:
Cause his kindergarten teacher is going to say, hang on a minute class, I need to go touch foreheads with Jimmy on the rug.
That totally made me spit my soda Cause his kindergarten teacher is going to say, hang on a minute class, I need to go touch foreheads with Jimmy on the rug
.
Angelsj 03:51 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by mema:
Cause his kindergarten teacher is going to say, hang on a minute class, I need to go touch foreheads with Jimmy on the rug.
Cause his kindergarten teacher is going to say, hang on a minute class, I need to go touch foreheads with Jimmy on the rug
. You should have a "no drinks" warning before you say something like that....
jenn 05:13 PM 08-16-2013
Wow! That will serve him well in life. He is learning that bad behavior equals positive one on one attention. I agree 100% with what Nannyde wrote.
He is learning that bad behavior equals positive one on one attention. I agree 100% with what Nannyde wrote.
MotherNature 09:43 AM 08-18-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
"I am the boss and I don't have to do anything you say until YOU get down on your hands and knees and look me in the eyes."
Yikes!"I am the boss and I don't have to do anything you say until YOU get down on your hands and knees and look me in the eyes."
missheather 10:28 AM 08-18-2013
Originally Posted by familycare71:
the “calm zone" will be called a cell if they keep this up
amen!!the “calm zone" will be called a cell if they keep this up
Familycare71 10:42 AM 08-18-2013
Do you think these tech will work with dcp that don't seem to "get it"!?!
DaycareMomma 10:05 AM 08-19-2013
While you are at it, why don't you sit down with Jimmy and sing a round of kumbiya! (sorry for the misspelling)
MamaBear 02:02 PM 08-19-2013
WTH??? That is hilarious! There are some weird parents out there for sure! hahahaha