Father Intoxicated at Pick Up!

[BNL]

Title says it all! 3 yr old dcg is usually picked up by dcm...however Friday dad comes in smelling strongly of alcohol....now whether it was 1/2/3 drinks I couldn't tell but I could smell it when he walked in to get her. He seemed fine. So I blew it off and thought maybe he had a drink after work..After all it was friday so maybe he was getting his wkend started early. Yesterday dad comes stumbling in and actually slipped off the sidewalk into the mud as he was getting in his truck. I keep thinking maybe im thinking about it too much. Maybe hes only had 1 drink and is fine to drive...is it even my business what goes on outside of my home? This would be hard to bring up to dcm as she is 36 wks pregnant with 2nd baby and thinks her hubby is just the greatest. I know she will get offended and pull dcg out if I were to bring it up. He drives a truck with his employers logo all over it which is a very well known business in our small town. Ive thought about calling the police if he leaves like that again...but idk if its my place once he picks her up my job is done. Idk what to do!

[melilley]

I personally would not let that child leave, I don't care if I would get in trouble or lose a family for doing so! You HAVE to tell someone, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed NOW!

[snbauser]

I would absolutely address it. Think about how you would feel if he got into a wreck on the way home.

[Heidi]

You need to address it. If something happens, you will be questioned, and could open yourself up to a huge liability.

I have it in my handbook that I although I cannot prevent anyone from taking their child, attempting to pick one up while under the influence will mean I CALL THE POLICE, and may result in immediate termination.

[BNL]

I think id be better off calling the police. If he shows up stumbling again I'll make a quick call and let them know hes driving a company truck that is easily noticeable. Very small town so shouldn't be hard for them to find him right down the street. Im honestly shocked that dcm allowed it after friday. If I smell alcohol I know she had to when she got home. Puts me in such a horrible position. I'd feel awful if something were to happen. I can afford to lose her, I'd just hate for him to continue doing it once they've left me for another provider.

[BNL]

I have a pick up policy but never thought of adding "under the influence"....I sure will now!

[Heidi]

Yep, call it in...

Actually, I would call the non-emergency number, and tell them you are a dcp, and you have a concern because you suspect a dc parent has been under the influence. How would they like you to handle it? Call 911 or non-emergency?

I wouldn't give your name yet, although they may have caller ID, and certainly not the parents name. Vehicle description only.

[mia]

I would absolutely not allow child to leave ....

Tell dad that he can call his wife or some else to pick up but the child will not be leaving with him.....
IF dad then causes a problem tell him you are going to call the police .... FOR IT IS THE SAFETY OF THE CHILD THAT MATTERS MOST.....


Yes if you let them take the child and something happened you would not only have legal issues upon you, you would hate yourself for the rest of your life .....

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by mia

I would absolutely not allow child to leave ....

Tell dad that he can call his wife or some else to pick up but the child will not be leaving with him.....
IF dad then causes a problem tell him you are going to call the police .... FOR IT IS THE SAFETY OF THE CHILD THAT MATTERS MOST.....


Yes if you let them take the child and something happened you would not only have legal issues upon you, you would hate yourself for the rest of your life .....

Although the safety and well being of all our daycare children is our primary concern, some providers (depending on their state's regulations) are NOT allowed to with hold a child from their parent simply because we "assume" they are under the influence.

I say "assume" because unless you are trained specifically to detect and assess whether or not a person is under the influence, you have NO way of actually knowing if it is true or not.

The BEST advice given is to immediately call the police if the parent "appears" to be under the influence.

You can suggest to the parent not to take their child with them but with holding the child in some areas is considered kidnapping.

Unless, you KNOW the parent is under the influence, there is NO way of knowing if it is drug/alcohol, side effects to medications and/or low blood sugar.

[Blackcat31]

Other threads about this

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=drunk+parent

[Childminder]

I have actually had this happen more than once and just come right out and ask. "Hey! You seem a bit wasted, did you stop and have a drink before picking up your child today? I know you don't want to risk anyone's life how about we come up with an alternate plan."

I have had DH drive them home, called someone on the emergency pick up list, and even called the cops to tell them that a child was being picked up by a probable intoxicated person then stalled as best I could till they arrive by changing diaper, sending for art projects, having DH engage in conversation. All I had to say was that I was a day care and the cops are right on it. One parent slept it off till morning in her van in my driveway.

[thetoddlerwhisper]

in our guidelines it says i cannot allow a child to leave with ANY adult who appears to be under the influence of anything. and i have had to call emergency pickup list because of a parent being under the influence

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Although the safety and well being of all our daycare children is our primary concern, some providers (depending on their state's regulations) are NOT allowed to with hold a child from their parent simply because we "assume" they are under the influence.

I say "assume" because unless you are trained specifically to detect and assess whether or not a person is under the influence, you have NO way of actually knowing if it is true or not.

The BEST advice given is to immediately call the police if the parent "appears" to be under the influence.

You can suggest to the parent not to take their child with them but with holding the child in some areas is considered kidnapping.

Unless, you KNOW the parent is under the influence, there is NO way of knowing if it is drug/alcohol, side effects to medications and/or low blood sugar.

Exactly. You have to really look into that. I would call the police department and ask them what is legal to do. I think it's safer to call the police anyway. What if you confront an intoxicated person and he flies off the handle and gets violent. Possibly hurting you, the child, other children etc. Better to just contact the local police dept. I can bet that a drunk dad that you tell can't take his child isn't going to be too friendly.

[CraftyMama]

Keep in mind that we may not know what goes on with our dcf outside of our homes, but we are mandated reporters. If suspicion is there that affects the health and/or safety of a child; report it. I have been in this position before with a dc parent, I reported it; the dcd was picked up and was greatly under the influence of alcohol. This may not always be the case, but it is always better to be safe rather than sorry.

[melilley]

Originally Posted by Childminder

I have actually had this happen more than once and just come right out and ask. "Hey! You seem a bit wasted, did you stop and have a drink before picking up your child today? I know you don't want to risk anyone's life how about we come up with an alternate plan."

I have had DH drive them home, called someone on the emergency pick up list, and even called the cops to tell them that a child was being picked up by a probable intoxicated person then stalled as best I could till they arrive by changing diaper, sending for art projects, having DH engage in conversation. All I had to say was that I was a day care and the cops are right on it. One parent slept it off till morning in her van in my driveway.

I bet she felt awesome in the morning...