Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>So, I Was Sharing With My Husband...
Msdunny 07:45 PM 01-25-2014
That I am starting to dread "going" to work every morning. I'm not sure if it is because it is winter, or what, but it is Saturday night and I am already dreading the thought that Monday is coming.

I had expected him to say, "you'll have to tough it out until this particular group matures" or something along those lines. So imagine my surprise when he said, "So term the families that drive you crazy." Huh?! You can do that?!

It honestly never crossed my mind. I don't know if I will do it - we are 'friends of friends' with one family and they were my very first family. But their dd is LOUD and is very demanding of my time. However, that mom is a teacher, so the dd will be out for summer (If I can just make it to June!). The other family is new and their schedule is just too wacky. They were supposed to be two weeks with early drop off/early pick up and two weeks of late drop off/late pick up, but so far nothing like that has happened (they seem to be fairly scattered and just not managing this new schedule very well). The girl is not meshing well with my others, and doesn't seem to be handling group care very well.

I have calls all the time, so I know I could replace them, but I may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire, kwim?

So, have any of you been in my shoes? Did you tough it out, or did you make the changes? We need the money, but I prefer my sanity!
Reply
melilley 08:16 PM 01-25-2014
Oh wow! I have been thinking the same thing and my dh said the very same thing to me! I know it's what I should do, but it's hard. I have one 2 yo dck who drives me crazy and is teaching my younger ds and younger dcb some not so great behavior. I should get rid of this particular child, but I just can't. I keep thinking he will get over it, but I also think he needs help. I love mom, she is one of my favorite moms ever! BUT...

SHhhh I think our dh's may be right. I mean, imagine what it would be like if that certain child didn't attend anymore. If you're thinking like I am, we already know what we should do.
Reply
Mister Sir Husband 08:53 PM 01-25-2014
SHhhh I think our dh's may be right.

Aw come on.. why the "SHhhh"? We husbands so rarely get credit when we are right .. why not give us just this one?
Reply
Maria2013 04:39 AM 01-26-2014
I've been in your position, for many months I didn't know what to do, I kept trying to cope and make things work out, but then there were days I no longer liked my job.... I ended up giving notice to the family that really wasn't working out, and was causing all the stress, and I got way more choosy when it was time to enroll new families
Reply
KidGrind 04:56 AM 01-26-2014
I think itís great your spouse has the respect to put you before the dollar.
Reply
mountainside13 06:33 AM 01-26-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I think itís great your spouse has the respect to put you before the dollar.
I think it's great too!! It has to be pretty bad before my husband says terminate
Reply
Blackcat31 07:55 AM 01-26-2014
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
That I am starting to dread "going" to work every morning. I'm not sure if it is because it is winter, or what, but it is Saturday night and I am already dreading the thought that Monday is coming.

I had expected him to say, "you'll have to tough it out until this particular group matures" or something along those lines. So imagine my surprise when he said, "So term the families that drive you crazy." Huh?! You can do that?!

It honestly never crossed my mind. I don't know if I will do it - we are 'friends of friends' with one family and they were my very first family. But their dd is LOUD and is very demanding of my time. However, that mom is a teacher, so the dd will be out for summer (If I can just make it to June!). The other family is new and their schedule is just too wacky. They were supposed to be two weeks with early drop off/early pick up and two weeks of late drop off/late pick up, but so far nothing like that has happened (they seem to be fairly scattered and just not managing this new schedule very well). The girl is not meshing well with my others, and doesn't seem to be handling group care very well.

I have calls all the time, so I know I could replace them, but I may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire, kwim?

So, have any of you been in my shoes? Did you tough it out, or did you make the changes? We need the money, but I prefer my sanity!
Hun, your DH just uttered THE secret to running a successful child care.

NEVER EVER keep a client that causes you to dread going to work.

That totally defeats the purpose of being self-employed.

The minute I think one particular family or child is the root of my dread, I give myself a deadline (30 days....two weeks...6 months...whatever) but if I still feel that way after the deadline, then the family goes.

NO WAY am I willing to allow ONE child/family have that kind of impact on my business and personal happiness.

Doesn't have to be personal. It simply is what it is. NOT the right fit.

Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
SHhhh I think our dh's may be right.

Aw come on.. why the "SHhhh"? We husbands so rarely get credit when we are right .. why not give us just this one?
The answer to OP's issue came easily to her DH because I believe men have the ability to look at a situation without allowing personal feelings or emotions to cloud their vision.

Women tend to see facts AND feelings. Men see FACTS first and then feelings.

Makes a HUGE difference.

I value my DH's opinion because of that.
Reply
Laurel 12:19 PM 01-26-2014
Kind of reminds me of something my husband has observed. He has two jobs. At one it is mostly women and they are in charge. It is so frustrating for him sometimes because he says in a lot of those situations a man will just fire people that aren't working out but the women have to have 'a meeting' to discuss it and try to find ways to work it all out. A man just fires people.

He is not trying to be sexist but it is what it is.

Laurel
Reply
Msdunny 05:47 PM 01-26-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
SHhhh I think our dh's may be right. I mean, imagine what it would be like if that certain child didn't attend anymore. If you're thinking like I am, we already know what we should do.
I think you are right - now to get my nerve up!


And to all you husbands out there - thank you for the role you play in our lives. We couldn't do it without you!!
Reply
julie 09:24 PM 01-26-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I think itís great your spouse has the respect to put you before the dollar.
I think it is great too.

I really listen when my DH says stuff like that to me. I always tell him about my day, and vice versa, and mostly we are sounding boards. I don't tell him how to do his job or he doesn't tell me how to run my business. He did tell me once that I have said this a number of times about a certain family, and I might consider that I would be better off without them. It wasn't him telling me what to do, just what he was hearing and that he was worrying about me. I listened. The day after terming that problem family was the best day ever. It was a weight lifted. I really grew to love my job again. Financially we were in a place to gradually add children back, but there wasn't a hurry, which I think helped us too. I wish you luck with whatever you decide. I did make a point to tell DH that he was right, and I think he was really pleased that I said so. I would have done the same thing if I heard the same thing day in and day out about his job stressing him and making him dread his day.
Reply
JenNJ 05:28 AM 01-27-2014
I termed my problem family last year and I LOVE my job now, lol. I didn't realize it was them causing my unhappiness until I knew they weren't coming back. I felt like a new person.

I'm Hopi g for an update saying how happy you are very soon!
Reply
Onetiredmom 07:22 AM 01-27-2014
You should go with your husband's idea and term. I just termed my problem family last week. DCB was oldest daycare child here, but most demanding. Mom was late at least once a week (only a few minutes), but couldn't understand why it was an issue.
My house is so much quieter now; the DCKs play so nicely and so much less stress. Should have done it months ago. The money was nice, but the stress wasn't.
Reply
melilley 11:12 AM 01-27-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:





The answer to OP's issue came easily to her DH because I believe men have the ability to look at a situation without allowing personal feelings or emotions to cloud their vision.

Women tend to see facts AND feelings. Men see FACTS first and then feelings.

Makes a HUGE difference.

I value my DH's opinion because of that.
So right on! That is my dh all the way!!! He says "the facts are there, you say the facts all the time, just do it!"
Reply
melilley 11:13 AM 01-27-2014
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
SHhhh I think our dh's may be right.

Aw come on.. why the "SHhhh"? We husbands so rarely get credit when we are right .. why not give us just this one?
Haha you're right! Well my dh is almost always right....almost
Reply
Brooksie 05:31 AM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by Mister Sir Husband:
SHhhh I think our dh's may be right.

Aw come on.. why the "SHhhh"? We husbands so rarely get credit when we are right .. why not give us just this one?

Reply
KidGrind 06:38 AM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by Laurel:
Kind of reminds me of something my husband has observed. He has two jobs. At one it is mostly women and they are in charge. It is so frustrating for him sometimes because he says in a lot of those situations a man will just fire people that aren't working out but the women have to have 'a meeting' to discuss it and try to find ways to work it all out. A man just fires people.

He is not trying to be sexist but it is what it is.

Laurel
I cannot disagree with your husband’s experience. My experience has been different. I’ve worked in an environment where it was less then 5% female. Some men met or conferenced in order to make decisions about the plan of action in dealing with personnel. Others made quick, no turning back decisions regarding personnel. My experience vs. your DH’s leads me to believe it’s more about personality & managing style than gender.
Reply
Tags:business management, terminate
Reply Up