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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Son Doesn't Like My Daycare
Unregistered 07:39 PM 03-16-2014
I am a registered user, just posting unregistered for privacy. My teenage son and I were talking tonight about some pretty major things and he started to cry. He then went into how he wishes that I didn't have to be cooped up in the house all the time and he wishes I could get out and see the world-his words. His level of emotion really opened my eyes to his feelings. I just encouraged him to tell me his feelings, everything he wanted to tell me, and not to feel like he was hurting my feelings. I really did get the feeling that he thinks I am missing out on life. He hates that I am tired all the time and that I have to work on daycare things even when I am closed. I just feel...bad. He does love my daycare littles, I know that for sure!

Anybody had this come up in their family?
Unregistered 08:21 PM 03-16-2014
It can be a really time consuming job that leaves you tied to the house a great deal. When I feel pulled down by the negatives, or someone points them out, I try to remember all the positives too. Overall the positives out weigh the drawbacks, especially in the ways that count to me most. If I wanted to be doing different, I would be. I'm a homebody who enjoys hanging out with the kids, and being home for my family. This is what pays the bills and makes me happy.

Is this what you enjoy? Does it work for you and your family overall? Is there something else you would want to explore?

At the same time your post opens my eyes to the future. Right now, once daycare is closed I focus on my young family until their bedtime. Then often back to housework & daycare prep. When they get older, and are up later, the amount of time I put into things will be more noticable.
pandamom 11:12 PM 03-16-2014
I work in a center (last month!!!)

But DH's mom had an in-home daycare while he was growing up. DH felt the same way as your teenage son. He also said he never felt like it was "his home" since there were always other children there. And when he was younger he didn't like having to "share" his mom.

However his mom took as many as 16 kids! by herself and did around the clock care. So there was never any downtime spent as just his family
Unregistered 02:38 AM 03-17-2014
I just had this conversation with my kids yesterday. They all love the little kids but all would rather them not be here so that we could go and do things

My wheels are turning, trying to come up with some ideas. Hugs to you!
coolconfidentme 04:23 AM 03-17-2014
When my kids were growing up I worked long hours away from home. I often had to fly outta state for weeks at a time for career as well. When my youngest son was in middle school I moved to a building I owned in town so he could bike ride to school sporting events & to his friend's. Most days he had to wait until late in the evening to have a face to face conversation with me.

My daughter hated we lived in the country & wanted to live in a city with over a million people. (As an adult she still lives in this small town, lol.)

I know if isn't the same, but our children aren't ever satisfied with our choices. We just have to do what we do to provide for our family. Keep encouraging your children to be open with their feelings & give them hugs daily.
Cat Herder 04:50 AM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
He hates that I am tired all the time and that I have to work on daycare things even when I am closed. Anybody had this come up in their family?
Of course.

You can remedy that by simplifying, though. Cut out that which does not matter, edit what does.

View family time as currency, not a luxury. Family time is more valuable than your paycheck since it is time limited and irreplaceable. (this is intended to be a new perspective to consider, NOT a judgment. Mostly for those who feel they are letting their clients down by putting their family first. You can still be a professional and be "selfish" with your family time.)

If you are spending family time working on collecting/organizing curriculum, get a boxed one. If you do projects every day, cut down to 3 days a week, add more music/dancing/active learning curriculum.

If you are spending family time cleaning, rotate smaller bins of toys and get rid of anything not submersible/easily cleaned. Mop/disinfect during nap and at clean up/go home time while kids watch one tv show/video each afternoon. Leave daycare when last kid leaves.

If you are spending family time doing paperwork get a program like MMK that cuts it all down to about 10 minutes a day.

If you are spending family time dealing with parent issues enforce policies consistently, the first time, and do not answer calls after closing without a scheduled conference time. Limit conferences to big issues.

You have the power to have as much family time and free time as you want with a little pre-planning.
Unregistered 04:51 AM 03-17-2014
I am struggling with this as well. My one and only family recently wanted to change their hours and go from about 36 hrs per week to almost 60!! They then decided to change to a daycare in the town that they work. I'm home with no kids and my kids love it! I am pregnant and had complications last week. They said they are putting the kids in care closer to their work (which I get) but dcm also said that they can't take any more time off from work. Well, long story short, the kids have not been well and were sent home with diarrhea more than once and I think they viewed my emergency as too much. Gee, I'm sorry......

Anyway, I'm super happy not having this family and my kids are in their glory!
TwinKristi 09:09 AM 03-17-2014
This really depends on how your family finances go. If you're doing daycare because you NEED to supplement your income then I believe children need to understand that this enables you to be home when they need you. Granted you can't just have the leisurely life as if you don't work but there are many benefits. Granted he's a teen and wouldn't require daycare himself, depending on how long you've been doing daycare there may have been a time he would have been in daycare himself for you to work outside the home. Children are selfish by nature, they don't understand money and responsibility, even as teens. I guess it depends on how old this child is. I have teens and they have their own room that's off limits from daycare. My younger boys have to deal with a PNP in their room on occasion and some chaos when they get home and kids are waking up from naps and wanting snack and such. But they're in their own home, not someone else's. They don't understand what it's like to be away from me from 8am to 6pm because they have had me in here for them 24-7. If they're sick I'm home with them. If they're off school (like this week) I'm here with them. It's understanding that the grass isn't always greener on the other side which children don't understand. My kids always beg us to move to a house with stairs! The LOVE stairs. My back doesn't. My husband's knees don't either. LOL But they see stairs as the most fun ever... until they have them. We stayed at a cabin over Christmas with stairs and I asked them if they liked having stairs now and still want to move... Nah!
I'm not diminishing your son's feelings, but maybe reminding him that you're able to afford his band trips, baseball fees, the summer vacation you take every year, cell phone or whatever it is you use your income for. I had to do this with my kids last year. I had a kid here who they couldn't STAND!! My best friend's son who was naughty and annoying. But when we went to Disneyland and San Diego for a week I reminded them that doing daycare is what paid for the trip! That helped put things in perspective for them.
Just my 2 cents, I know a lot of people think kids should have a say but when you're making money it's a lot different than a hobby you may have that they don't enjoy.
TaylorTots 09:32 AM 03-17-2014
My children are young (6 and 4) so they enjoy the playmates. I screen heavily and don't tolerate any naughty/annoying children - they are replaced with well behaved ones They have no complaints as I have daycare toys and then all their toys are upstairs. I think the only complaint has been for my 6yo that I won't let after school kids in his grade up to his room to play. In the next 5 years we will be buying a home that we can dedicate a walk out finished basement entirely to daycare. That way it is separate from the remainder of the home as our children grow and it doesn't affect our lives outside of work as much as our family ages
Tags:business management, enforcing policies - consistency, families that love, family, family dinner, provider accountability, time for yourself, time management
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