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Old 09-23-2014, 11:51 AM
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Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
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Default Friends - a Privilege You Can Lose?

I have a dcb (3) who has waves of aggressive behavior. He will be a punching, kicking, pushing, biting tornado for a week or so and then pretty manageable for a month or so and then it cycles back. All kids have phases of tough behavior but his are always extreme. Well we are in a tornado of awful phase. By 10am I was done. I isolated him from the other children outside. Inside I have him doing alternate activities from the other children at a separate table. He is coloring, play doh, magnet games etc. I told him we can try again tomorrow (he is only here half the day today). What do you do in this type of situation? I don't want to be cruel with segregating him but I can't put the other children in a bad situation either. I would term, but he is due to leave in January anyway...and he is my godson . Parents are supportive. They don't excuse his behavior but are often dumbfounded by it. He is an only child. He is worlds better than he was a year ago - he used to be always in tornado mode. He shows little to remorse. If anything speaks logically and coldly about his behavior. He tells me I "shouldn't speak to him like that" when I am discipline him or talking to him about his poor choices. I use a calm, quiet voice. Parents would rather him be separated than having to pick him up. I am not licensed yet (in the process) so I don't want to do the wrong thing.

help please
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Old 09-23-2014, 12:03 PM
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EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
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Ah, baby boss child. Only children really give me a run for my money, I have noticed.

First off, when he told me I shouldn't speak to him like that I would look him dead in the eye and say, "Stop it." He is sassing you and that is not cute in the least. What do his parents say to him when he says things like this?

Secondly, IF you cannot be nice to your friends then you cannot play with them. How long that lasts depends on the situation. If another child could get hurt from your behavior, then you are going to be playing in a different area for the entire playtime. You can try again next playtime. I don't call that separation. I call that redirection for the older kids. I am redirecting you to play in a different area. It just so happens that new area doesn't have any friends you can hurt. If a child is just not minding in one center, then I will redirect them to another and there ARE friends there. But violent behavior? You are getting redirected to an area you can play in where others won't be harmed.
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Old 09-23-2014, 03:20 PM
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cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
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i would separate all day if need be. Safety is always first. It wouldn't bother me at all to have to separate a child day after day if that is what it takes to keep him in control and the others safe. if they parents dont like it, they can move him now.

I personally would just term but if you really dont want to, then yes, keep separating.
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Old 09-24-2014, 03:05 AM
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Meyou Meyou is offline
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I regularly separate kids that can't be nice to others. It can be physical or verbal. I feel that everyone has a right to play/exist in a space without harassment so if by removing one child from the group we have peace and harmony I'm all for it.

I have a basket of toys and a spot for children to play alone when they can't get alone with others. It isn't a punishment for me so much as a natural consequence. Play kindly, lots of friends. Play unkindly, no friends at all.
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