Am I Being Petty?

[spud912]

One of my selling points for my daycare was monthly newsletters and Facebook photos. Well last year I had major turnover of dck's and ended up with mostly new families. My past families were excellent communicators, participated in the upbringing of their child and loved the newsletters and Facebook photos. Well the new group .... not so much. They claimed to like the newsletters and Facebook photos, but I could see that the photos were not even looked at, nobody participated in the activities outlined in the newsletters (like bring Valentines on Valentine's Day), and nobody responded to my emails. Even the two families that I kept from the last group have become lax and stopped communication.

I started feeling burnt out so I stopped doing Facebook photos. Then this summer we moved and had a baby (all my families stayed but one) and I stopped newsletters because I didn't have time. Well I started the newsletters up 3 months ago, but with the intention of not getting burned again. I asked for a response in the email so I can see they are being received. I also gave everyone a discount within the newsletter so I could see who was actually reading them. Well my two newer families (one of which has really come around to better communication) have responded to all three newsletters since I've started and have been participating. My two older families have not responded AND I can tell they haven't bothered to read them (they did not take the discount, the did not provide a required supply I asked for, they did not respond to the emails, etc.).

So today I got sick of it and sent them a text. Obviously I would have emailed but they never respond to that.....can't "Facebook" message because they obviously don't look at stuff posted. I can't really do it in person because all the parents come and go at the same time and I don't feel it's appropriate to discuss lack of communication in front of others who are great about communicating. Plus, the kids act up if they are not dropped off/picked up quickly.

The text basically states that it's my only way to really communicate and I need to know my emails are being received AND read. The past three months are obvious reminders they are not being read (I used the examples above as proof). Of course, I get no response via text (and they always respond to other things). It makes me think they believe I am being petty or nitpicky. Am I? What should I do at this point? I can't force people to be involved, but at the same time, their kids are going to get the raw end of the deal. Some of our activities require parents to participate (valentines day, gift exchanges, photos for the All About Me theme, various things for Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts I send home, etc.). As it is, I had to pull photos off their Facebook page so their children were not left out when doing the All About Me theme.

This is probably going to sound mean or come across badly but honestly, I would carry on as normal.
The kids who's parents DID participate and send required items will benefit but those who didn't bother to send in anything will see their child didn't get to participate. If parents ask, why their child isn't featured on the "All About Me" board, tell them because they didn't the requested things. If they forget to bring the required supplies (for daycare) like extra clothes etc, deny care at the door and tell them why.
The parents don't care because they know you will.
Sorry you are putting so much effort into something that isn't being received well.
I would just carry on as normally as possible and make a point of being vocal about why certain kids didn't get to do certain things.
I know it isn't the child's fault but at this point, you only have two choices....put the child first and supply the requested items even when the parents don't or stop putting the child first if the parents aren't going to.
Sometimes that is the only way to get through to parents.
It's not fair that people assume we will never let a child go without.

[Play Care]

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Play Care

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

I feel the same way. I stopped asking for supplies long ago-parents would rather pay a higher rate than have to remember to bring Kleenex to daycare. I don't even send home most artwork with parents-they flat out say that they don't want "everyday" crayon drawings sent home. If we do a special project (Christmas ornaments, Halloween pumpkins), I send them home. They really do just want us to keep their kids safe and happy-they don't want a school, they don't want to have to shop and remember to bring things for special occasions. They're busy and don't want to deal with more to do.

They're not bad parents, it's just that they don't want the extras that you're offering. The newsletter is important to you because this is your job (and a big part of your life). The parents don't feel the same way-you're the person that they pay to watch their kids while they work.

[Laurel]

Originally Posted by Play Care

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

[Heidi]

Originally Posted by Play Care

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

same experience here..

except of course, those parents that suddenly want "school" for their 2 year old. Then, no matter WHAT we do isn't enough.

[Kabob]

Originally Posted by Play Care

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

Makes sense to me.

I do daily activity sheets for the parents as they all claim to want them but only one actually reads them. I tested them by noting I needed diapers on all the sheets but didn't verbally say anything (I wasn't out yet so it was worth the risk). Only one parent mentioned it and brought diapers. The rest I had to verbally remind.

So, I have learned to offer but not force things like that. I email updates. I verbally remind them to check their email. Then I leave it. If I need supplies, I email and tell them in person. If drop off or pick up is too busy, I text.

It just seems to be the way some people are.

It used to annoy me but now I realize that not everyone operates like me. Not everyone wants every detail or participate in every little activity.

Keep it simple and save yourself the frustration.

[spud912]

Thanks everyone for listening to my pity party . I guess my biggest thing is that I want to ensure important information is not neglected. For example, I took November 10th off as an unpaid day and then November 11th is a paid holiday. I told both these families the rates were reduced for that week. They both paid the regular rate. I told them in person that the next payment they can reduce and they forgot again. I left it at that because it was in my favor and I did tell them 3 times, but I don't want them to feel like I'm taking advantage either.

[AmyKidsCo]

Originally Posted by Heidi

except of course, those parents that suddenly want "school" for their 2 year old. Then, no matter WHAT we do isn't enough.

No doubt.

I have great parents right now - all but 1 family reads my newsletter... The family that doesn't is my son & daughter-in-law.

[Kabob]

Originally Posted by spud912

Thanks everyone for listening to my pity party . I guess my biggest thing is that I want to ensure important information is not neglected. For example, I took November 10th off as an unpaid day and then November 11th is a paid holiday. I told both these families the rates were reduced for that week. They both paid the regular rate. I told them in person that the next payment they can reduce and they forgot again. I left it at that because it was in my favor and I did tell them 3 times, but I don't want them to feel like I'm taking advantage either.

I think it was Blackcat that said her policy is to keep the extra amount as a tip. Totally wouldn't mind that!

[Play Care]

Originally Posted by spud912

Thanks everyone for listening to my pity party . I guess my biggest thing is that I want to ensure important information is not neglected. For example, I took November 10th off as an unpaid day and then November 11th is a paid holiday. I told both these families the rates were reduced for that week. They both paid the regular rate. I told them in person that the next payment they can reduce and they forgot again. I left it at that because it was in my favor and I did tell them 3 times, but I don't want them to feel like I'm taking advantage either.

I had the same situation last week. My one DCD paid for the full week - I was only charging for the two days. Last year I allowed him to carry over, even though it's in my contract that I don't allow carrying over.. This year I'm not saying anything. And this is the same family that has shown up at least 3 times when I've been closed. Now I just remember to put a big CLOSED sign on the door the day before

[KiddieCahoots]

Originally Posted by Play Care

At the risk of being flamed - I don't think you're being picky, but I think you are doing too much

Hear me out
As much as the state's want to make day care the be all end all, the vast majority of parents simply want a safe place to leave their child while they have to work, period. They don't want to have to take time off for yet another day care event (especially those with multiple kids in both day care and school) they don't want to have to make yet another stop on the way home to pick up Valentines for their 2 year old, or have to buy gifts for day care kids, etc.

I felt like once I came to that realization, things got so much easier. Now for things you need parents to know I address face to face - "hi dcm, I wanted to remind you about the supplies. I'll need a box of tissues or a roll of paper towels. Thanks!" Then she can't ignore
I only do activities with the kids that require them, nothing from parents. Im not scrambling and kids don't feel left out win-win

....Yup!
Gave up on both a long time ago too.
I used to create my newsletters to fill parents in on what we were up to, and add parent tips from prominent resources, that related to current growth and development, blah, blah, blah....
Same thing happened, dcp's didn't respond, some children went without for special projects, and I'd find them in the bottom of diaper bags.
The final straw was when I added an insert about food allergies and intolerances, specifically for the dcp's that were struggling with reflux issues with their toddler, and dcm condescendingly shared with me, how her and her husband laughed about how they would be sure to never bring food into the daycare without permission first (this dcm was a teacher, go figure )
This was the same dcm who after three months of no more newsletters, was the only one to question it (in her condescending way again) "no more newsletters, huh!?"
I realize not all parents are like this, but seriously like pp, save yourself the aggravation.

[midaycare]

I do a password protected blog for the parents on my website. I share what we are doing and add some pics. I used to do it every day, now about 2-3 times a week.

I have a parent who never looks at it. She tells me straight out that she only wants her dd to be safe, she really doesn't care about the preschool aspect of attending here.

I have other parents who check every day to see if I've written, and some who just catch up when they can.

I am one of those people who, if you give me resources and idea, I will use them. But not everyone is like that.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I used to use this as a selling point, too, Spud... but it was so long ago it was a Myspace page and printed newsletters. I spent so much T-I-M-E on both, and I could ill afford it as my own 3 kids were little. So, yeah, I was not happy when I realized that while everyone claimed they "needed" these additional fountains of info, they were not even hardly glanced at. I know how you feel right now.

So I just quit doing them altogether. Now I just send out reminder and announcement e-mails every couple of weeks. I text occasional pics to DCM or DCD, and it's enough.

Now when I interview and people ask if I do Facebook (Which I don't. At all. Personal or business.), I let them know what I do do, all for a very reasonable price.

And I don't ever ask for any supplies, treats, or anything. I stress that "it's all included" (besides diapers and wipes). No nickel-and-diming here! Some DCMs want to go all out and bring stuff for holidays and such, and that's fine, but it most certainly is not expected.

I think lots of DCFs "think" they want all that communication stuff, but in reality they don't have any more time to read it than we do to create it.