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Old 04-15-2015, 11:41 AM
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Default Aggressive Child, Behavior Plan or Term?

Hello all,
I have posted about this dck before for biting. This child is now 20 months. This child has bitten, hit pushed kids and recently hurt another child with an item causing the other child to bleed. This child is shadowed for the entire day whenever aggression is displayed towards anyone. This last incident I was at the other end of the room laying down nap mats and the children were instructed to clean up and lets prepare for rest time. This child swung an object and was instructed to stop. As I was walking towards the child to remove the object, the child swung the object again and hit another child with it. The child was separated from the group and remained at my side for the rest of the day given only soft infant toys to play with. I plan to put the child on probation for two weeks and if anymore aggression is directed to another child this child will be termed immediately. I'm just curious to see how others have dealt with similar things and a child this age. Do you all have a clear cut behavior plan for a child not quite 2, do you just term due to the severity of it, or is there something else you do? I'm not worried about terming financially, as the safety of my group out weighs the money aspect. I do want to be fair though and take in to consideration this child's age, but not make excuses and say "oh its a phase". Anyways I'm interested to see your thoughts. TIA
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:57 PM
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Here is a fantastic resource. It covers all the reasons for biting at that age, as well some practical things to try.

http://www.zerotothree.org/child-dev...on-biting.html
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Old 04-15-2015, 12:58 PM
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Default Same boat

Hi,
I'm in the same boat! I've had 2 year old dcg since she was an infant. She is very aggressive and getting worse. She bites, hits, pinches, kicks, grabs toys, and head butts. My 4 yr old daughter is her usual target, but she picks on the 12 month old and 4 month old too. We have tried EVERYTHING. And, I do mean everything to curb unwanted behavior, especially the biting. We tried going part time, which didn't help, so I took her back full time thinking I could "fix" her. Well, today, she bit my daughters arm SO bad. It left a huge welt, redness, swelling, and pain. I am done. So is my husband. He says she can't continue to come to our house. I wish I had advice for you, but I seriously have tried EVERYTHING and nothing worked. Some kids just don't respond to behavior corrections/manipulation. As for my dcg, she can no longer be my problem!
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:01 PM
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20-months-old is VERY young so no, I wouldn't do a behavior plan for that child. I would discuss this with the parents so ALL caregivers are using the same phrasing to help redirect and/or stop the undesirable behaviors. I am a BIG supporter of behavior plans and have used them here before but the children are always 3.5+ years old.
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Old 04-15-2015, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
20-months-old is VERY young so no, I wouldn't do a behavior plan for that child. I would discuss this with the parents so ALL caregivers are using the same phrasing to help redirect and/or stop the undesirable behaviors. I am a BIG supporter of behavior plans and have used them here before but the children are always 3.5+ years old.
What does a behavior plan look like for a 3 or 4 year old? Just curious. I have a real struggle with 2 of my dcks, but thought behavior plans were just for special needs kids. That probably sounds ignorant, but that's what I thought.
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Old 04-15-2015, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by mamamanda View Post
What does a behavior plan look like for a 3 or 4 year old? Just curious. I have a real struggle with 2 of my dcks, but thought behavior plans were just for special needs kids. That probably sounds ignorant, but that's what I thought.
I had some issues with my son when I divorced and the therapist had us do a behavior plan with him and he wasn't special needs. It basically lists the problem behaviors and what will be done about each one. Hopefully it creates consistency between everyone involved.
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Old 04-15-2015, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
20-months-old is VERY young so no, I wouldn't do a behavior plan for that child. I would discuss this with the parents so ALL caregivers are using the same phrasing to help redirect and/or stop the undesirable behaviors. I am a BIG supporter of behavior plans and have used them here before but the children are always 3.5+ years old.
So moms response is that dck is usually in bed by 7:30..(they arrive to daycare between 6:50 and 7and leave at 5)..and has not displayed any aggressive behaviors at home... then I remind her of when dck threw a shoe at baby sibling and bit baby sibling in front of her during pick up. Then she responded with dck attempted to step on baby siblings back during tummy time at home. As for same page with discipline we are definitely not. They pop his hand or put him in his crib when he misbehaves at home.

Last edited by Luvnmykidz; 04-16-2015 at 08:23 AM. Reason: spelling errors
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Old 04-16-2015, 08:27 AM
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So I guess what I'm wondering is.... is it fair to term a child this age for these behaviors, is it realistic to think that since these behaviors are occurring at home and daycare they can be resolved in 2 weeks, is this type of aggression normal in kids this age? I have dealt with aggressive kids, but this child doesn't seem to have any triggers, the behavior can go from laughing and playing to just flat out hurting others and a trigger hasn't been pinpointed.
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Old 04-16-2015, 10:49 AM
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Default Me again

Hi,
I posted yesterday about the child I have who won't stop aggressive behaviors, especially biting. After my daughter got severely bit (yet again!) by this same child yesterday, she also got kicked in the face by her, causing her lip to split and bleed. I informed the parents and did an immediate term at pick-up. It's not fair to the other children to have a stressor at such a young age. I have tried EVERYTHING and with all my years of experience in education and early childhood development, I realized that this dcg cannot be my problem (and my daughters) and I just can't fix her. Dcg is 2 and I've had her sense infancy, so the bond is there and we consider her like family. However, I have to protect my daughter, just as you have to protect the other children in your care. Hope this helps.....
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Old 04-16-2015, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi,
I posted yesterday about the child I have who won't stop aggressive behaviors, especially biting. After my daughter got severely bit (yet again!) by this same child yesterday, she also got kicked in the face by her, causing her lip to split and bleed. I informed the parents and did an immediate term at pick-up. It's not fair to the other children to have a stressor at such a young age. I have tried EVERYTHING and with all my years of experience in education and early childhood development, I realized that this dcg cannot be my problem (and my daughters) and I just can't fix her. Dcg is 2 and I've had her sense infancy, so the bond is there and we consider her like family. However, I have to protect my daughter, just as you have to protect the other children in your care. Hope this helps.....
Sorry that happened to your dd. Yes it does help bring it into perspective a bit more. I feel as if I'm not able to curb the behaviors alone, but don't truly know if the parents are willing to back me up. So at this point any more aggression and dck will be termed.
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Old 04-17-2015, 07:53 PM
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Hitting, kicking and biting are all part of being a toddler.

Biting is a very normal toddler behavior and often lasts until 2 1/2 years old. I have one child in my room that has been biting for well over a year. Over a dozen attempts a day and usually 1 bite that happens. I have open communication with the parents of the child and have sent home information on biting to all the other parents. I have researched and researched and everything says what I'm doing is all I can do. If this child was in care at my home instead of the group center I work at, I would honestly have terminated her months ago because it is so stressful.
1. Shadow the child.
2. Watch for cues...hunger, tired, illness
3. Keep child with you if you are out of arms reach...take with you for EVERYTHING...diaper changes, etc.
4. Don't focus on the biting. (Hard not to)

I provide a snack high in protein about 1 hour after breakfast...cheese or yogurt. (We are peanut free or I'd do peanut butter). I also made a quiet corner just for her. She needs her space to either go on her own or we'll send her to lay down with a few soft animals and she decompresses and then comes back when she's ready.

Try to keep the environment calmed down and rearrange it to try to prevent biting. Prevention is key.

If this is a new behavior, you are more likely able to stop it before it gets any worse. Good luck!
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:46 AM
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I have one who started at 18 months and is now 3.5. He just in the last 6 months or so has stopped being aggressive, which included, biting, hitting, pushing, taking toys, etc... I didn't do a behavior plan, but mom and supposedly dad worked with me because he was the same way at home, but it was he**. I had to constantly shadow and make sure he was by me at all times. It took a lot out of me.
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvnmykidz View Post
So I guess what I'm wondering is.... is it fair to term a child this age for these behaviors, is it realistic to think that since these behaviors are occurring at home and daycare they can be resolved in 2 weeks, is this type of aggression normal in kids this age? I have dealt with aggressive kids, but this child doesn't seem to have any triggers, the behavior can go from laughing and playing to just flat out hurting others and a trigger hasn't been pinpointed.
Honestly, this doesn't sound like an "aggressive" child to me, but normal 2 year old behavior.

I'd try to figure out why the child is acting this way.
  • Is he/she less verbal and not able to express feelings of frustration or anger?
  • Does he/she have enough opportunity to run, jump, move his/her body in big ways?
  • Does the child get enough positive attention, or is he/she going for negative attention because that's better than no attention at all?
  • Could the child be biting from teething pain? Are there teethers available to bite on?

Like I said, this sounds like typical 2 year old behavior, even the "Jekyl/Hyde" thing where he/she is fine one minute and freaked out the next.
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Honestly, this doesn't sound like an "aggressive" child to me, but normal 2 year old behavior.

I'd try to figure out why the child is acting this way.
  • Is he/she less verbal and not able to express feelings of frustration or anger?
  • Does he/she have enough opportunity to run, jump, move his/her body in big ways?
  • Does the child get enough positive attention, or is he/she going for negative attention because that's better than no attention at all?
  • Could the child be biting from teething pain? Are there teethers available to bite on?

Like I said, this sounds like typical 2 year old behavior, even the "Jekyl/Hyde" thing where he/she is fine one minute and freaked out the next.
DCK is not very verbal at all. Vocabulary consists of mama, night night, bye bye, and hi and no.
I'm pretty certain most of this behavior is attention seeking whether positive or negative attention is given. I say this because bedtime is shortly after pick up from daycare and they arrice at 7 am. The sibling is about to be 9 months old. This child is either crying or hurting others. I do spend more time with DCK doing activites and hugging when DCK wakes early from nap or others are enjoying free play. I really feel for the kid and think DCK is frustrated. DCK has slapped and pulled dcm's hair. Dcm insists DCK is only like this at my house. We go out as often as the weather permits but do music and movement daily. The biting is less frequent than the physical hurting others. I'm definitely open to ideas/suggestions on how to make this work, if there are ways to do so on my behalf.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvnmykidz View Post
DCK is not very verbal at all. Vocabulary consists of mama, night night, bye bye, and hi and no.
I'm pretty certain most of this behavior is attention seeking whether positive or negative attention is given. I say this because bedtime is shortly after pick up from daycare and they arrice at 7 am. The sibling is about to be 9 months old. This child is either crying or hurting others. I do spend more time with DCK doing activites and hugging when DCK wakes early from nap or others are enjoying free play. I really feel for the kid and think DCK is frustrated. DCK has slapped and pulled dcm's hair. Dcm insists DCK is only like this at my house. We go out as often as the weather permits but do music and movement daily. The biting is less frequent than the physical hurting others. I'm definitely open to ideas/suggestions on how to make this work, if there are ways to do so on my behalf.
The bedtime thing is the answer. Nannyde addresses this in her book. I suggest reading her book. When they come almost when they wake up and go to bed as soon as they get home, they are trying to get the attention of mom and dad and will do it by any means. Maybe she can chime in here, she is around sometimes and not others, but I think she could help you. She does consultations, it may be worth the small fee.
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