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  #1  
Old 12-11-2015, 08:49 AM
happymom happymom is offline
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Default Drop Off Advice (2 Kids)

Hi folks,

I have an infant and a 3 year old in a daycare center. The center has around 100 kids, they are divided by age in different rooms (infants, 1 year olds, 2 year olds, 3-4 year olds and SA). There is a long hall way through the daycare, my 3 year old's daycare room is immediately on the left, then the school coat room, and just passed the coat room on the other side is the infant room.

I am trying to find a good way to drop off my boys without causing a huge commotion. My 3 year old is pretty needy at drop off, sometimes he crys/clings, he always wants "14 hugs and 5 kisses" and admittedly really tries to prolong drop off as much as he can.

The smoothest drop offs are the times that I can get my 3 year old to drop off his coat while I am checking in my infant. Then once my big boy's coat is hung, he comes and gives his brother a kiss at the door way, and I take him to his classroom, say goodbye and leave.

I know the daycare center does not want preschoolers in the infant room, and the first day that my infant started, I told my 3 year old that he's not allowed in the infant room, that he can wait outside the door for me, but the second day the teacher in the infant room told him he could come in -- so now I'm trying to back pedal out of that because he did it once.

I've also tried dropping my 3 year old off first. This did not go well. All the preschoolers wanted to see/touch the baby (he's 8 weeks), my 3 year old didn't want to let me leave and move to the next step.

So I feel like it's best to always drop off the baby first, and pick him up last, mostly to avoid the commotion of having the baby in the preschool room. However then it presents me with the problem of having my 3 year old with me when I'm in the baby room. I just don't know which is better and was hoping to get some ideas.

Thanks so much for always being here to answer my questions. I have spoken with my daycare about my situation and they just tell me to pretty much do what works for me and how I'd like. I really need a good idea to help things go smoothly, because drop off and pick up is hard on us!
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  #2  
Old 12-11-2015, 09:17 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Can you talk with your 3 yr old and let him know what YOU need him to do to make things go smoothly for everyone? Maybe he can get his 15 hugs and kisses BEFORE you even unbuckle baby from his seat when getting out of the car...maybe a sticker chart for being a "big boy" and having you just show him to his room and immediately leaving to go to infant room? Or have your DS wait outside (tell the teacher who let him in, that YOU don't want him coming in) and explain to your son that the teacher was being nice but the rule is he stays outside the infant room.

Maybe have a sit down at home when just calmly chatting with your son about "Hey Jr, can you help mommy come up with some ideas on how we can make drop off at school a little easier?" Then see if you can out your heads together and come up with some guidelines. Making your son a helper for mommy might give him something to focus on....etc... Earning a sticker for being a helper etc... I drop you at your room last so I'll come to your classroom first at pick up....I don't know.....I'm just thinking out loud
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Old 12-11-2015, 10:29 AM
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daycarediva daycarediva is offline
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I agree with black cat.

I would make up a special rhyme/song/handshake and do it at the door to the center, or the coat room, or wherever you/he agree upon. Drop baby off first(can you do a quick pass off with baby?) and then bring brother to his room. QUICK kiss, wave to make sure a teacher sees you and then FLY.

He WILL get used to it. I'll be honest, the clinging/crying at drop off is a delay tactic and once you tell him this is what we are doing, and you leave, he will stop and move on.

HTH!
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Old 12-11-2015, 11:11 AM
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Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
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I agree with the above. Make a big deal of drop off being special! Kids this age love to be helpers to the helper thing is huge. Even if you don't use something like stickers, if you play it up to be a big deal it will be, and perhaps in doing so he will get the attention he is looking for from you, because that is probably what this is about. So see if you can find a way you are okay with for him to get his attention and you to get your drop off done smoothly.

Ideas off the top of my head would be "if you do good at drop off, we will read the book of your choice tonight". Or "if you are a big boy at drop off, you can help me with X when we get home".
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Old 12-11-2015, 12:48 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Thanks!

I wish I could do a quick pass with the baby, but each day I have to fill his cubby with his diapers (we cloth) and put his bottles (bm) in the fridge AND fill out this little form about when he woke up and ate last, who I drop him off with and what time.

I have been letting my 3 year old put the bottles in the fridge since it's right by the front door, then he's my helper and everything goes smoother. I feel guilty for letting him do that though since I know they prefer anyone other than adults and babies in the baby room.
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Old 12-11-2015, 12:56 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Also maybe moving his goodbye to the coat room would make things much smoother, I haven't tried that, but I will talk to him about it and maybe make it our plan from now on. I think he will be excited.

Thanks again for all the advice!
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Old 12-11-2015, 12:56 PM
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Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happymom View Post
Thanks!

I wish I could do a quick pass with the baby, but each day I have to fill his cubby with his diapers (we cloth) and put his bottles (bm) in the fridge AND fill out this little form about when he woke up and ate last, who I drop him off with and what time.

I have been letting my 3 year old put the bottles in the fridge since it's right by the front door, then he's my helper and everything goes smoother. I feel guilty for letting him do that though since I know they prefer anyone other than adults and babies in the baby room.
Will they let you take some of the forms home to fill out when you leave so they are ready at drop off?
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Old 12-11-2015, 03:44 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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Very good question, I bet they would have no problem with me doing that!

It's really only a few seconds to fill out the form. I could also probably see if I could just drop off his bag on the counter and they could put his stuff where it belongs.

I could definitely do a better job communicating with them about it, I always feel so rushed in the morning and then at pick up the main girl's shift has already ended and there's a different girl. Just another reason I miss our old daycare
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Old 12-11-2015, 07:42 PM
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Would it be possible for you to do a quick hand off with the baby, drop off the 3 year old, and then go back and put away bottles, diapers, etc.?

Something that several of my parents do is to say their (quick) good-byes outside the classroom door and then do a quick hand off of the (preschool age) child to me and then go drop off their infant. If your child has some trouble with drop off, then that only works if you're not dropping off at busy times. If you're frequently dropping off during a transition or at the same time as everyone else or another hectic time, then it may be very difficult for your child and the classroom staff as staff will have trouble helping your son settle in while managing a group in transition or attempting to have conversations with other parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
He WILL get used to it. I'll be honest, the clinging/crying at drop off is a delay tactic and once you tell him this is what we are doing, and you leave, he will stop and move on.
This. A quick drop off is usually a good, or at least better, drop off.
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Old 01-18-2016, 01:13 PM
happymom happymom is offline
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I just wanted to update and say that things have gotten SO MUCH better.

My 3 year old knows that his routine is to go put his coat in the coat room while I drop off my infant, then we meet in the hallway and say goodbye and he goes into his classroom alone!

For pick up, I get my infant first and then my 3 year old. I'm still working on mastering the pick up without going inside the classroom and causing the baby distraction. Two of the little girls in there can't keep their hands off the baby so it'd be best if I could just tap the window and have him come out.
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Old 01-18-2016, 02:11 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happymom View Post
I just wanted to update and say that things have gotten SO MUCH better.

My 3 year old knows that his routine is to go put his coat in the coat room while I drop off my infant, then we meet in the hallway and say goodbye and he goes into his classroom alone!

For pick up, I get my infant first and then my 3 year old. I'm still working on mastering the pick up without going inside the classroom and causing the baby distraction. Two of the little girls in there can't keep their hands off the baby so it'd be best if I could just tap the window and have him come out.
When my DD was in preschool and my DS was an infant, my daughter's classroom had a square shape on the floor (made out of masking tape).....the other kiddos were always welcome to come over to me/baby and say hello but they could NOT cross the tape line.

So basically they could look but they could not touch.

I would either stand/squat in the taped off square while holding my son and helping my DD put her coat etc on or I would have baby in car seat carrier and just set the carrier in the taped off square.

I thought it was such a neat idea for a visual since some kids need that visual reminder that I adopted a similar method of using tape in my family child care to help littles understand boundaries.
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