Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Parents and Guardians Forum

Parents and Guardians Forum Parents and Guardians should post and answer questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-22-2017, 05:10 PM
Bethers1980
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Angry Filled spot without notice

Hi everyone!! I'm new to this forum and I have a difficult situation. My son was in an "overpopulated" daycare at 1.5 and it was a free for all. He learned some aggressive behaviors to communicate, including biting, in the very short time he was enrolled. We took him to a smaller place around his second birthday and explained to the director at length his issues. She said she would do everything to work with us. He did great in the under 2 room and was moved into the 2-3 yo room within 3 weeks. In his first week he began to bite...like at least twice a week. Tried time outs, redirects, a shadow and it slowly tapered off to maybe once a month. We thought okay we're getting through this. Then he bit one little boy. Rightfully so his mother was not pleased and citing my son's previous record demanded he be unenrolled. The director asked us to only take him thursdays and fridays as that one particular boy was not there on those days and then in june he would return to full time if his record stayed clean. This is all correspondence via text and email. We are now entering June and my son's communication skills have quadrupled. We and his teacher believe he's ready for full time. I texted the director and asked if June means the week of may 30th or the following week june 5th. She replied that she moved some of the younger kids around and now there's no spot for him full time!! Is this legal?! I'm not trying to sue or something ridiculous i just want my boy back with his friends and teacher. I signed no documents that he was officially part-time and all messages state this was temporary and he would return full time in june. I don't know what even to say to the director! Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-22-2017, 10:12 PM
CityGarden's Avatar
CityGarden CityGarden is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: The Happiest Place on Earth
Posts: 1,479
Default

I feel for you as a parent.

From a safety (and liability) prospective though I would not tolerate a child in group care who repeatedly bites... I would have terminated your son's spot and suggested one-on-one care until he was a bit older or required you to provide a shadow for him the entire time he was in care at your cost. It is simply not fair to the other child any other way. Parents often see growth that they desire to see and it does not always display that same way in a group setting. Don't take that as a failure on your part as a parent but do consider the idea that your son may need one-on-one care until a little older OR a different sort of structure in the school/daycare.

I cannot answer if what the director is doing this is legal as it really depends on the contract you signed however IF your son has bitten multiple children the director also has an obligation to those other children. What you can look at is what sort of deposit you may be able to have applied to your last month tuition or refunded. I would also be looking into other care options ASAP.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-23-2017, 10:17 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 15,965
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethers1980 View Post
Hi everyone!! I'm new to this forum and I have a difficult situation. My son was in an "overpopulated" daycare at 1.5 and it was a free for all. He learned some aggressive behaviors to communicate, including biting, in the very short time he was enrolled. We took him to a smaller place around his second birthday and explained to the director at length his issues. She said she would do everything to work with us. He did great in the under 2 room and was moved into the 2-3 yo room within 3 weeks. In his first week he began to bite...like at least twice a week. Tried time outs, redirects, a shadow and it slowly tapered off to maybe once a month. We thought okay we're getting through this. Then he bit one little boy. Rightfully so his mother was not pleased and citing my son's previous record demanded he be unenrolled. The director asked us to only take him thursdays and fridays as that one particular boy was not there on those days and then in june he would return to full time if his record stayed clean. This is all correspondence via text and email. We are now entering June and my son's communication skills have quadrupled. We and his teacher believe he's ready for full time. I texted the director and asked if June means the week of may 30th or the following week june 5th. She replied that she moved some of the younger kids around and now there's no spot for him full time!! Is this legal?! I'm not trying to sue or something ridiculous i just want my boy back with his friends and teacher. I signed no documents that he was officially part-time and all messages state this was temporary and he would return full time in june. I don't know what even to say to the director! Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
What state are you in? Were you paying a full time rate or just the part time rate?

I don't think what happened is illegal but I can understand why your son was "passed" over for full time space.

It doesn't make it easier to deal with but from a provider perspective a child that bites is a HUGE liability and cause massive amounts of unhappy clients when their children are the "victims" of a biter.

That makes me vulnerable to losing clients. I.E. Losing income and I can't afford to lose income because YOUR (general you) child bites.

I am sorry you are having to experience this though...I know it's tough for parents in this position.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-24-2017, 04:28 AM
Bethers1980
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default he's not biting anymore

Thank you for the responses but I don't think I mentioned he's not biting anymore (knock on wood). He was put on the modified schedule for two months and based on whether he had incidents or not he would return to a full time schedule on june first. 2-3 months is a lot of time developmentally for a toddler...Thanks again though!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-24-2017, 07:32 AM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,591
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bethers1980 View Post
Thank you for the responses but I don't think I mentioned he's not biting anymore (knock on wood). He was put on the modified schedule for two months and based on whether he had incidents or not he would return to a full time schedule on june first. 2-3 months is a lot of time developmentally for a toddler...Thanks again though!
Were you paying full time rate even though he was only coming on a part time, or modified schedule? Are you prepaid for the next few weeks? I think they owe you any money paid and I would be very upset. Legally, unless they owe you money, there is nothing you can do, but I think it is bad business. They may have been trying to weed your son out due to the biting, but they should have been upfront if that was their intention. It sounds like you did what they asked and your son is in a better place behaviorally, so they should have honored what they said they would do and have a spot available. I know it is frustrating, but there is not a whole lot you can do, so I would try to brush it off and move onto a different provider. Kids are resiliant and he will make more friends and bond with new teachers. Sorry that happened, but sometimes when one door closes, another one opens, so I hope you find a better fit! Good luck!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
behavior - effecting others, biter, excuses, liability, violent behaviour

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Not Giving Proper Notice beachgrl Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 27 06-08-2017 05:52 PM
Holding A Spot With Pay But Paying Late, Keep Them? MCC Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 16 09-07-2013 01:30 PM
When Do You Give Notice? kitkat Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 1 11-04-2010 12:31 PM
Family Gave Me Notice ... MarinaVanessa Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 20 03-31-2010 09:15 AM
Spot Holding - Downpayment? Unregistered Parents and Guardians Forum 1 11-16-2008 03:18 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:38 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming