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  #1  
Old 12-14-2017, 11:22 AM
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I have a 4 year old who is a terrible eater. He will not eat most foods. For lunch, if he eats anything, it is fruit. A lot of days he doesn't eat anything. He will not eat breads(except French toast), meats, peanut butter, any veggies, cheese, very selective on fruits, any kinds of fish,eggs etc. He will eat noodles randomly. He does drink milk, so that is a plus!
At home his "go to" foods are donuts, muffins and candy. DCM has posted on FB pictures of him eating breakfast on several occasions. Most of the time, it includes donuts and sometimes candy too. So I know when he tells me what he had for breakfast, it is most likely true.
So basically, if it has sugar in it, he will eat it. (Guessing that's why he will only eat fruits most days at meal time here).

On a side note, I always give my daycare kids pjs for Christmas, so I have them step on a scale and also check their heights. This way I know what size to get them. When I had him do this, he measured at 3'4" and is 31 pounds. It seems to me that he would be considered underweight. Mom and dad have never shown any concern about his weight, but this has got me wondering if his doctor has ever said anything. I've always know he is small, but only check his weight this time of year because of the gifts, so didn't realize how small. Should I say anything to mom and dad? Clearly they know he is not a good eater, but at what point does his weight become concerning?

I know DCM just feeds him the foods she knows he will eat for breakfast (most days he comes here after), so that is the only meal he eats most days.....
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Old 12-14-2017, 11:29 AM
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Don't worry.

Your daycare kid is the exact same size as my son (who is almost 6 and considered a healthy height and weight by his doctor).

It's too bad they feed him junk all the time, but I would not be concerned for him.
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Old 12-14-2017, 11:34 AM
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It is pretty clear that he is likely not getting the nutrition he needs and you are doing your best to help in the area. In my opinion this is not your problem. Continue to serve good foods but there is zero you can do if the parents are feeding him sugar. He will simply hold out until they feed him crap. His weight seems normal to me and unless he was not meeting milestones I would not be concerned.
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Old 12-14-2017, 11:37 AM
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Here's the thing, and I'm not being insensitive, just realistic - you can be concerned all you want but you can only do so much. You job is to offer healthy food when he's with you and his job is to decide what to eat and how much. You can't control what happens when he's home, and getting upset about it isn't going to do any good. Continue offering him good food and hopefully at some point he'll try something besides fruit. If you feel like you need to do more maybe you can compromise - serve whole wheat French Toast, put a little cinnamon sugar on his toast, make healthy muffins with whole wheat flour and fruit, etc.
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Old 12-14-2017, 11:38 AM
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I wouldn't worry too much. If he was my own child, I wouldn't like that diet, but since the child is okay, and is probably getting (sort of) enough basic nutrients one way or another, and is okay with bmi, it's beyond what is your call.

Fruit gives the same vitamins as vegies, they just come with unneccessary sugar. Kids who don't eat proteins will often pig out on whole grains to try to get more protein that way. He wouldn't be okay for height if he wasn't getting some protein.

Yes, the high sugar/carb diet isn't good for him, but it's not immediate so it's not something you can do much about except maybe mention something if you feel like the parents might listen.
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Old 12-14-2017, 12:52 PM
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How much milk is he drinking with you?
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Old 12-14-2017, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Here's the thing, and I'm not being insensitive, just realistic - you can be concerned all you want but you can only do so much. You job is to offer healthy food when he's with you and his job is to decide what to eat and how much. You can't control what happens when he's home, and getting upset about it isn't going to do any good. Continue offering him good food and hopefully at some point he'll try something besides fruit. If you feel like you need to do more maybe you can compromise - serve whole wheat French Toast, put a little cinnamon sugar on his toast, make healthy muffins with whole wheat flour and fruit, etc.
This! A hundred times over!

You can't control how parents parent.

If it really stresses you out, then don't keep him.
Simply refuse to be part of the entire situation.

Otherwise, just go about your business and continue offering and encouraging but leave it at that.

IME, most food issues have nothing to do with food and everything to do with power of control.
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Old 12-14-2017, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
How much milk is he drinking with you?
I agree with everyone else, too.

BUT, milk is a filler. I would cut the milk, as much as possible. cut fruit, offer everything plain, separate, etc. it might take a few dozen times, but its rare a child will eat NOTHING the entire day. Kid gets hungry, he will try to eat.

I've gotten countless kids to eat vegetables and whole grain because of this.
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Old 12-15-2017, 06:20 AM
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He does drink a lot of milk. Being on the food program, I know we are supposed to offer everything at the same time, but some days I hold off giving him his milk until he has ate something. I have started serving a couple lunches a week that don't include fruit. He just doesn't eat those days.
I know there is nothing I can do to change how he eats at home and I do try different things here to try and get him to eat something. He usually comments that the food is "disgusting" and refuses to try anything. He is definitely the type who will hold off eating here to wait to eat the foods he wants ate home.
I was just a bit surprised at what I thought was a low weight for his age. I have some two year olds who are the same weight as him.
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Old 12-15-2017, 06:30 AM
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He does drink a lot of milk.
If he is drinking more than 3 cups per day (24 ounces, 24 hours) then he may be anemic. I'd not serve him any milk. Instead, I'd replace with servings of cheese or yogurt, add a protein to all meals/snacks then wait. Hungry kids will eat when they know they can't manipulate you. Also, tomato's and melons are fruit.

Someone taught him he could eat the way he does. Now someone has to teach him he can't.

I rarely serve milk anymore because it is over served at home.
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Old 12-15-2017, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
If he is drinking more than 3 cups per day (24 ounces, 24 hours) then he may be anemic. I'd not serve him any milk. Instead, I'd replace with servings of cheese or yogurt, add a protein to all meals/snacks then wait. Hungry kids will eat when they know they can't manipulate you. Also, tomato's and melons are fruit.

Someone taught him he could eat the way he does. Now someone has to teach him he can't.

I rarely serve milk anymore because it is over served at home.
Doesn't the food program REQUIRE fluid milk though?

Or aren't you on the food program?
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Old 12-15-2017, 10:55 AM
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Doesn't the food program REQUIRE fluid milk though?

Or aren't you on the food program?
No food program, here. As long as I meet that nutritional component, they don't care which source it comes from. Meal plans are backed up by a signed infant/toddler feeding form. I do this so parents can continue to give milk in the mornings, at dinner and before bed (3 cups/24 hours) as many feel it helps their children sleep better. I also continue toddler formula at snacks until age two. They transition to toddler formula in a cup at 12 months coming off the bottle. They then transition to 2% at 25 months. More expensive for me, but more complete than cows milk. I can't serve pediasure to preschoolers anymore, though, because it is flavored.

"State agencies have the discretion to identify appropriate substitutions that meet these requirements."

"It is at the center’s or day care home’s discretion to provide a non-dairy milk substitute if it is not related to a disability. FNS strongly encourages centers and day care homes to make meal modifications to accommodate participants’ non-disability special dietary needs."

"FNS recognizes that switching immediately from whole milk to low-fat or fat-free milk when a child turns
two years old may be challenging. Therefore, FNS is granting a one-month transition period. "
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Old 12-15-2017, 12:30 PM
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He most likely is manipulating you since all he eats is sugar but as a parent to a picky eater and a non picky eater it sometimes has nothing to do with the parents. My eldest will starve herself if we do not feed her something she likes (not junk by the way just specific foods like tacos). I do as the others have suggested which is try and introduce new foods, ask that she try once and then leave it. The stress is not worth it! My youngest eats whatever we put on the table thankfully!
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