Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-22-2017, 05:50 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Venting & Advice Seeking! (Parents ALWAY Late, Paying Late, Missing Payments, Etc...)

So I babysit for a family (A friend of a friend), but it is only occasionally. After the last time babysitting, I am usually over whatever had me so heated.
I am mostly just venting, but any advice is helpful! (9 month old)

Anyways, the parents ALWAY text me last minute, asking if I can watch their son. Since I am a SAHM, I am always at home anyways, so if they need someone, I'm more than happy to help for a few hours. Our agreement is that they only have to pay me a set amount for each day. But if I am only watching him for an hour or two, they can just pay half. I am very flexible, and nice, but people often take advantage and I hate it!
Often, they will have me watch him, and then agree to pay the following week. Then they will have me watch him a day or two after that, and then only pay me for 1.5 days out of 3. Like, they will pay me for 3 days, but try to pay 3 half days, instead of 3 full days, even though I watching him for 5-7 hours each day, and agreed to it with less than 24 hours notice! Where do parents get that this is okay?? Or they just "forget" to pay me altogether. And having to let them know that they owe me a measly $10, is so awkward and uncomfortable! And honestly I very rarely do it. I don't think that I should be put in that position..

Another thing, is it's something ALWAYS comes up. If I watch him while they go out, they always hit me with some, "Oh they show started later than we thought..... would you be able to watch him a little longer? If not we can just leave.." and of course I feel guilty, and agree.

I don't mind watching him, but for some reason it bugs me when they tell me WHY I am watching him. If I am watching him, I assume they have an appointment or something. But when I find out I am stuck watching him last minute just because the mom doesn't want to take him grocery shopping, or other normal daily tasks, or doesn't want to take him on the hour drive to the next town, or has to pick the dad up from work. I understand it is easier, but I watch him for EVERY 'errand'. (When I agree to watch him, I don't know what I am watching him for) She claims it is because he 'throws tantrums, and just cries and screams' but 1. he is only 9 months old! 2. If you never take him with you, how is he going to know how to act???

Just this last week I had a situation that just left me so annoyed! The mom had some things to do, and I agreed to watch him. Then she texted me about 30 minutes before she was to pick him up, saying that she needed to pick her husband up from work. (How was this not factored in before??) And if it was okay if she just went to pick him up , and was a little late, or she could pick him up at the agreed time if I needed. I figured she only asked because it would be closer to pick him up first, and I was more out of the way. A little late.. I figured 30 minutes or so. She texts me 1.5 hours later saying that he was about to get out of work, and it shouldn't be long...??? 30 minutes later, she says they are finally on their way! I figure they are close, so I wake him up from his nap, and get him ready to go. Waiting, and waiting! another FOURTY minutes later she shows up!! I just don't get how someone can think that is okay???? She was almost 3 hours late from our agreed time!

They are a friend of a friend who live nearby, so I feel awkward for just saying "can't watch him anymore"
But they have 2 other kids, that they take with them everywhere. He is the only one who is constantly getting pawned off, and doesn't get to go out much.
I don't mind watching him, but when I agree to watch him for 7 hours, with less than 24 hours notice, and end up watching him for 10 hours, only to get paid for half the day... I can't!
And as much as I love this little kid, he cries ALL the time! He will be happy, and then suddenly start screaming and crying. And his constant crying takes away attention from my LO. And is ALWAYS waking my LO up from naps with all of his screaming over nothing!

Are there any good excuses I can use to just drop them??? I feel like as soon as I resolve one issue, they do something else!!

Also, just another annoying thing, (again, I don't like to know what the parents do, because sometimes it is just stupid!) But the mom would drop him off, and he would be all tired, hadn't eaten anything yet, so now I have to feed him, etc.. I figure she is in a hurry, so whatever. Then, she would come back to pick him up, with her hair done, make up fully done, dressed completely different. It just seemed like he would wake up, and she would just put him in the car and bring him over, and make me do the whole morning routine with him, so she could go home and get ready, because she couldn't be bothered to get up an hour earlier.
Another time she was over an hour late. No text, no heads up, nothing. Then she comes over with her hair professionally dyed, and styled. She was over an hour late because she was out getting her hair done, and couldn't be bothered to text me and let me know.

I understand needing a break sometimes, but if you are a stay at home mom, don't pawn your poor kid off because you can't handle simple tasks with the kid you chose to have. These things are at least 1-2 times a week. But it just bothers me because too often they try to get away with the 1/2 day pay for a full day.
If YOU don't want to take YOUR kid to run errands, because YOU want to make it easier on YOU, make sure you can afford to pay your babysitter for the time you use!
Rant over! )
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-22-2017, 06:31 PM
hwichlaz's Avatar
hwichlaz hwichlaz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,025
Default

No is a complete sentence. Or you can expand.

No, you never pay me what you owe.
No, Iím busy.
No.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-22-2017, 06:39 PM
TheMisplacedMidwestMom's Avatar
TheMisplacedMidwestMom TheMisplacedMidwestMom is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Alaska
Posts: 516
Default

1. They must pay upfront BEFORE they leave him with you. If they are late, charge them. It must be paid at pick-up or at the very least before you watch him again.

2. Get it in writing. This is my fee, this is my late fee, this is what I expect. If you expect 24 hours notice, get that on there. Be prepared to refuse to watch him if she doesn't give it.

3. You have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot choose how they parent, and stop worrying about it.

4. Stop feeling guilty.

-with love from someone who was in your shoes not long ago. And also, from a work at home mom who occasionally hires a sitter just to get things done
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-22-2017, 08:37 PM
LysesKids's Avatar
LysesKids LysesKids is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,256
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So I babysit for a family (A friend of a friend), but it is only occasionally. After the last time babysitting, I am usually over whatever had me so heated.
I am mostly just venting, but any advice is helpful! (9 month old)

Anyways, the parents ALWAY text me last minute, asking if I can watch their son. Since I am a SAHM, I am always at home anyways, so if they need someone, I'm more than happy to help for a few hours. Our agreement is that they only have to pay me a set amount for each day. But if I am only watching him for an hour or two, they can just pay half. I am very flexible, and nice, but people often take advantage and I hate it!
Often, they will have me watch him, and then agree to pay the following week. Then they will have me watch him a day or two after that, and then only pay me for 1.5 days out of 3. Like, they will pay me for 3 days, but try to pay 3 half days, instead of 3 full days, even though I watching him for 5-7 hours each day, and agreed to it with less than 24 hours notice! Where do parents get that this is okay?? Or they just "forget" to pay me altogether. And having to let them know that they owe me a measly $10, is so awkward and uncomfortable! And honestly I very rarely do it. I don't think that I should be put in that position..

Another thing, is it's something ALWAYS comes up. If I watch him while they go out, they always hit me with some, "Oh they show started later than we thought..... would you be able to watch him a little longer? If not we can just leave.." and of course I feel guilty, and agree.
gs me when they tell me WHY I am watching him. If I am watching him, I assume they have an appointment or something. But when I find out I am stuck watching him last minute just because the mom doesn't want to take him grocery shopping, or other normal daily tasks, or doesn't want to take him on the hour drive to the next town, or has to pick the dad up from work. I understand it is easier, but I watch him for EVERY 'errand'. (When I agree to watch him, I don't know what I am watching him for) She claims it is because he 'throws tantrums, and just cries and screams' but 1. he is only 9 months old! 2. If you never take him with you, how is he going to know how to act???

Just this last week I had a situation that just left me so annoyed! The mom had some things to do, and I agreed to watch him. Then she texted me about 30 minutes before she was to pick him up, saying that she needed to pick her husband up from work. (How was this not factored in before??) And if it was okay if she just went to pick him up , and was a little late, or she could pick him up at the agreed time if I needed. I figured she only asked because it would be closer to pick him up first, and I was more out of the way. A little late.. I figured 30 minutes or so. She texts me 1.5 hours later saying that he was about to get out of work, and it shouldn't be long...??? 30 minutes later, she says they are finally on their way! I figure they are close, so I wake him up from his nap, and get him ready to go. Waiting, and waiting! another FOURTY minutes later she shows up!! I just don't get how someone can think that is okay???? She was almost 3 hours late from our agreed time!

They are a friend of a friend who live nearby, so I feel awkward for just saying "can't watch him anymore"
But they have 2 other kids, that they take with them everywhere. He is the only one who is constantly getting pawned off, and doesn't get to go out much.
I don't mind watching him, but when I agree to watch him for 7 hours, with less than 24 hours notice, and end up watching him for 10 hours, only to get paid for half the day... I can't!
And as much as I love this little kid, he cries ALL the time! He will be happy, and then suddenly start screaming and crying. And his constant crying takes away attention from my LO. And is ALWAYS waking my LO up from naps with all of his screaming over nothing!

Are there any good excuses I can use to just drop them??? I feel like as soon as I resolve one issue, they do something else!!

Also, just another annoying thing, (again, I don't like to know what the parents do, because sometimes it is just stupid!) But the mom would drop him off, and he would be all tired, hadn't eaten anything yet, so now I have to feed him, etc.. I figure she is in a hurry, so whatever. Then, she would come back to pick him up, with her hair done, make up fully done, dressed completely different. It just seemed like he would wake up, and she would just put him in the car and bring him over, and make me do the whole morning routine with him, so she could go home and get ready, because she couldn't be bothered to get up an hour earlier.
Another time she was over an hour late. No text, no heads up, nothing. Then she comes over with her hair professionally dyed, and styled. She was over an hour late because she was out getting her hair done, and couldn't be bothered to text me and let me know.

I understand needing a break sometimes, but if you are a stay at home mom, don't pawn your poor kid off because you can't handle simple tasks with the kid you chose to have. These things are at least 1-2 times a week. But it just bothers me because too often they try to get away with the 1/2 day pay for a full day.
If YOU don't want to take YOUR kid to run errands, because YOU want to make it easier on YOU, make sure you can afford to pay your babysitter for the time you use!
Rant over! )
First off just say no without pay up front (not to mention getting back pay); that said, in some states if you do care (babysit) over so many hours per week/month you are considered home daycare & could possibly run against state regs and be considered an illegal daycare even if it's only one child... a few states I know are MD, KS & MN
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-22-2017, 09:21 PM
HappyEverAfter's Avatar
HappyEverAfter HappyEverAfter is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 293
Default

Donít feel awkward about letting them know they have shorted you in pay. I have a parent that twice now has rounded down her vacation week fee from $67.50 to $65 and I shamelessly reminded her it was supposed to be $67.50. While it was only a matter of a measly $2.50, the true and important matter was that I needed to enforce my prices as they were listed in my handbook. If I wrote it off as not worth mentioning to her then I am basically letting her run my business and things would just go downhill from there.

With the new year about to start, use this as your reasoning for changing the way you do things. Tell the parents that going forward for 2018 youíll be doing childcare on a more structured basis. Put together a contract, even a simple one, that states your fees, your hours and rules for drop in care. And then stick to it like crazy. If they fail to pick up on time or fail to pay the correct amount or to pay on time, theyíll need to settle up, preferably with a penalty fee, before you continue providing care.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-22-2017, 10:27 PM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,452
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hwichlaz View Post
No is a complete sentence. Or you can expand.

No, you never pay me what you owe.
No, Iím busy.
No.
Yes to this! I will add one...No, that will not work for me.

You have to say no or they will continue to take advantage of your kind nature. Be strong! You can do it!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-23-2017, 01:24 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 5,298
Default

It sounds like you have a major issue with people pleasing and with confrontation. You need to get over this. It will be hard at first but it is super important that idiots like this do bot take advantage of you.

This person is a jerk and I am angry for you. She is NOT a nice person so why are you being so darn nice to her?? Like a child she will keep doing what she is doing because you are letting her do it. Why should she pay you? She doesnít need to and you will keep taking her child anyway.

If face to face is too hard for you then use text or email. Let her know how much $$ she owes for ALL the times she was late or only paid half a day. Tell her that you will only watch him when the bill is paid in FULL. I have a feeling she will stop coming on her own. If you simply want to end care text her and let hef know how much she owes and let her know you are no longer providing babysitting for nothing.

What a jerk!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-23-2017, 04:34 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 7,465
Default

Yes to all of the above and just say no to her. If it were me, I'd close her down immediately and completely. 'It's not working for me anymore'. IF you want to care for this baby then set the rules you want her to pay and play by.

She is using you big-time and will continue for as long as you allow it to happen. She's got a great gig going so why should she stop? I wouldn't care if she was your best friend, let alone a friend of a friend, if you consider yourself a professional in any way, you shouldn't be allowing her to do this. Is this your only child you care for? Even Saturday night babysitters aren't 24/7 available and they get paid a heckuva lot more than you do. Don't let her continue using you like this. Word gets around and pretty soon you'll have a houseful of parents who act the same.

I just had to add that when I had my first child, I was a SAHM and a former co-worker asked if I would watch her 2 boys. I said sure, since I was home anyways. Full time. BUT she could only afford $40 a week. Course this was 34 years ago. But still, I allowed another person to run my life. I've evolved immensely since then. You can too!!!

I admit I'm one of the most meek and non-confrontational people I know, too timid to say anything sometimes. BUT I have learned as I go along to either tell dcps what I need, or write notes home to remind them of my policies. The latter approach is typically what I do when I adore the dcfs but they have a hard time remembering something but if I have someone who disrespects my policies, shorts me on $$ they owe, or whatever, I'm getting much stronger on directly talking with them, simply because I don't really care if they leave or not.

Good luck with this mom and hope you find a way to strengthen up that backbone and use it so you can gain respect and appreciation from her that you so deserve!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-23-2017, 01:31 PM
Jdy2222's Avatar
Jdy2222 Jdy2222 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Gateway, Fort Myers, FL
Posts: 11
Default

If this were a typical job and you were treated like this - not getting paid, not getting paid enough, short notice, longer shifts than expected, etc. would you keep the job? Not in a second!

There is nothing wrong with laying down the law here, and if you don't the situation won't change. Ever. There's no reason it would ... they've got a great deal going here.

"I'd love to watch xx. However, I need to be paid ahead of time and can only watch him until x:00." And then stick to your guns.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-23-2017, 03:44 PM
e.j.'s Avatar
e.j. e.j. is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,780
Default

I agree with the others. If you want to continue to provide care for this family and be treated with respect, you will need to address the problems. If you find it too difficult to deal with it head-on, this time of year is one of the best times to introduce a Parent Handbook and contract that outlines the policies you want everyone to follow. Just be prepared to enforce them because you'll probably have to with this family - old habits die hard.

If you want to stop providing care for this family and can't bring yourself to tell them, just tell them you don't have an opening any time they call looking for care. They'll eventually get the hint and move on. If you're worried about your mutual friends' reactions, I would try to keep in mind that if they are true friends, they wouldn't want to see you being taken advantage of by anyone, much less someone they referred to you. Good luck.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
enforcing policies - consistency

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Late Payments spud912 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 8 06-14-2013 03:59 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:27 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming