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Old 01-29-2018, 08:46 AM
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Ailseyblue Ailseyblue is offline
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Default Father In-Law Visiting

My father in law lives an hour away and is laid off in winter. He has come to stay with us anywhere from a couple days to a week at a time to visit his 3 grandchildren. I run a home daycare that includes 4 kids plus my 3 year old daughter. I run it in the basement. Father in law likes to come in the basement and play with his granddaughter and the daycare kids. The other morning a mother was dropping off her son and daycare father was right there. He offered to bring the daycare kid down the steps. I could not see interaction as I was down but I could hear it. She declined and said she could do it. I think he was trying to be helpful but obviously it probably shouldn’t have happened. When he is visiting, he seems to rush to the basement so he can talk to the parents. He is lonely and I chalk it up to being overly friendly. I am wondering what I can tell him to stop him from doing this. It makes me uncomfortable with him trying to interact with my parents and I don’t like when he is downstairs with my daycare kids for long periods of time. I assume there are fingerprinting laws and background checks I could use to dissuade him from spending so much time with them and “tying to help me” with the kids. Do any of you have any suggestions on how I could word this without being too mean?
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Old 01-29-2018, 08:53 AM
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You could tell him licensing called with an annomous complaint about visitors and if he wishes to hang out with your dd during dc hours he can remove her from the dc area and play with her upstairs but he can no longer be in the daycare area. When in doubt blame it on licensing lol
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Old 01-29-2018, 08:56 AM
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Talk to your husband, tell him exactly what the boundaries for FIL need to be and why. Then let your DH deal with his father.
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Old 01-29-2018, 09:28 AM
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Yea my husband offered to talk to him. But I thought since it was my business that it would be best for me to talk to him.
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Old 01-29-2018, 09:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ailseyblue View Post
Yea my husband offered to talk to him. But I thought since it was my business that it would be best for me to talk to him.
How well does he take a no?
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:00 AM
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I would let your husband talk to him.... while it is your business it is his family member.

When my own SA dd is home she tries to help and wants to interact with parents and while I know her intentions are good but it is not her place to update parents and it annoys me. I also have a college age niece who will be staying with me for the summer (who I might hire part time) so I plan to establish some house rules.

I want to add licensing does have rules and requirements for adults staying in the home so I would check them to be sure you are in compliance.
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Old 01-30-2018, 10:13 AM
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I would definitely have your husband talk to him.If I were a parent I would not like an adult who was not cori checked interacting with my child at DC.Maybe you could invite him to come after nap and take your child out and maybe stay for dinner weekly.That way your child would feel special and he could visit. You may have to say its not allowed by the state and you could loose your license.
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Old 04-17-2018, 07:11 AM
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Curious if there were any updates to this....

Did your husband speak with your FIL?
How did it go?
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Old 04-19-2018, 09:03 AM
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Curious if there were any updates to this....

Did your husband speak with your FIL?
How did it go?
My husband did speak with my father in law, saying that some people may not feel comfortable with him around all the time. He seemed to understand and had backed off a bit. But it is also spring and he is back to work so we will see what happens next winter : /
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