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Old 02-05-2018, 11:59 AM
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LittleScholars LittleScholars is offline
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Default My Terrible Little Napper

I feel like I saw a similar post, but I can't seem to find it. My daycare kiddos have been AMAZING nappers; however, my own son (now 13-months-old) is NOT. It is totally my fault. I should have sleep trained earlier.

One problem is that he probably should be napping twice a day, but he wants to do what the big kids do, and I just don't see this happening any longer.

During daycare naps he tends to wake up once and needs all the tools in my bag to get him back to sleep. This is a disaster.

Some other helpful info:
-he has already transitioned to a mat
-I picked my licensor's brain and she suggested moving him away from other kids, so he's on a mat in his giant baby jail (that we never ended up using for any other purpose). He did seem to really like this at first (it probably feels more like his crib).
-Despite all of my wishes, he is still nursing. I do try hard not to nurse him to sleep now, but I did do that for way, way too long.
-His scream is the mightiest scream of all of the screams. I am totally willing to let him cry at this point, but O.M.G. I feel terrible for the other kids, although they are currently sleeping through all of this. And, totally unintentionally, I'm realizing he has never really been left to cry about anything for very long. I thought he was going to have a literal heart attack today.
-I've been reading great sleep books, and night sleep is going better, but I'm finding daycare naps so challenging. I want my other kiddos to sleep.

Please help!
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:07 PM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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If he was at my daycare I would be putting him back in a pack and play and sleep training him. Lots of threads on sleep training and the book SleepEasy sleep solution is great. He would also be going down for an hour in the morning.

Stop nursing him to sleep! This will be absolutely the hardest thing you will ever have to do as a mom and a provider but his need for sleep, stability and emotional regulation should trump your need and daycare kids need to not hear him cry . Put him somewhere away from everyone else.
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
If he was at my daycare I would be putting him back in a pack and play and sleep training him. Lots of threads on sleep training and the book SleepEasy sleep solution is great. He would also be going down for an hour in the morning.

Stop nursing him to sleep! This will be absolutely the hardest thing you will ever have to do as a mom and a provider but his need for sleep, stability and emotional regulation should trump your need and daycare kids need to not hear him cry . Put him somewhere away from everyone else.
Thanks for responding!

I wish I had a space away from other kids, but I now have a totally open (single) floor plan. We moved the daycare down to our finished basement. It is big(ish), but isn't a great set up for my little guy. I only take older kids, so this isn't an issue for the rest of the crew. I throw that out there in case you (or anyone) has creative solutions to that issue.

He wakes up around 7:30 and goes down for his nap by 12, so that is a little over an ideal wake time (if I'm understanding that correctly), but it isn't terribly off, right? And during this time he has the best sleep environment. Maybe I should be aiming for a pm nap?

I just read Sleepeasy and I'm very into it, but struggle a bit to see how it works in the daycare setting. I guess because it almost all situations he can still see SOMEONE else.

Would you put the pack n play in the space with the least visibility/more privacy (although this isn't saying much), and then do the scheduled check-ins, as usual? We are working on this at night and we've seen a big improvement (just one wake time but this has more to do with being hungry around 4am), but I haven't done much during the day because of how terrible I feel hurting the sleep of other kids. How do you address the AWFUL screaming to the point of getting sick? Luckily, we don't really have this problem at night, but during the day it is bad.

My apologies for all of the questions. I don't know what it is so hard for me to wrap my head around nap training.
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:42 PM
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A morning nap would probably do wonders, but I know many providers transition to one nap at 12 months. Sounds like he is relying on you to help him fall asleep. I have nursed all of my children at nap time & bedtime until they're 2. That can be as big or little a crutch to him as you make it. I found it was an opportunity to connect with my own kids one on one during the day when they shared so much of me. Obviously, you could choose to connect in many other ways that work best for you. If you continue to nurse you need to teach him to nurse until drowsy, but lay down after & go to sleep on his own. If you're ready to wean, then stick to your resolve & make it happen. Either way, be consistent in what you decide.

I feel like sleeping"like the big kids" is a privilege. Show him that he has to earn it. Laying still & quiet on his mat, etc. If he doesn't then move him right away. Be consistent so he gets the correlation.

Good luck! Sometimes our own kids are the hardest to manage.
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:46 PM
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does licensing prohibit him sleeping in his own room?
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by mamamanda View Post
A morning nap would probably do wonders, but I know many providers transition to one nap at 12 months. Sounds like he is relying on you to help him fall asleep. I have nursed all of my children at nap time & bedtime until they're 2. That can be as big or little a crutch to him as you make it. I found it was an opportunity to connect with my own kids one on one during the day when they shared so much of me. Obviously, you could choose to connect in many other ways that work best for you. If you continue to nurse you need to teach him to nurse until drowsy, but lay down after & go to sleep on his own. If you're ready to wean, then stick to your resolve & make it happen. Either way, be consistent in what you decide.

I feel like sleeping"like the big kids" is a privilege. Show him that he has to earn it. Laying still & quiet on his mat, etc. If he doesn't then move him right away. Be consistent so he gets the correlation.

Good luck! Sometimes our own kids are the hardest to manage.
My own child is by FAR harder to manage, and I know we have some habits that I love, but make it that way.

Sleeping "like a big kid" is a great idea! He squeals when we make his mat each day, but then does and awful job on it! I just set his pack'n'play up for tomorrow.
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Old 02-05-2018, 01:06 PM
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Does your licensing not allow him to nap in his own room? I always put my 16 month old down in his own room with a video monitor. It is hard for our Littles to share their mom, their toys, and their space all day long. Allowing DS to sleep in his own room gives him the separation from daycare that he so desperately needs furing the day.

Also, he may still need 2 naps. I know it isn't ideal, but maybe a short 30 minute cat nap after brealfast, then he lays down again when the big kids do?

My DS was the absolute worst napper before we sleep trained him. Once we trained him for night sleeping, his daytime sleep figured itself out. He found his natural sleep rythym, and predicting and executing naps was so much easier.
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Old 02-05-2018, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Miss A View Post
Does your licensing not allow him to nap in his own room? I always put my 16 month old down in his own room with a video monitor. It is hard for our Littles to share their mom, their toys, and their space all day long. Allowing DS to sleep in his own room gives him the separation from daycare that he so desperately needs furing the day.

Also, he may still need 2 naps. I know it isn't ideal, but maybe a short 30 minute cat nap after brealfast, then he lays down again when the big kids do?

My DS was the absolute worst napper before we sleep trained him. Once we trained him for night sleeping, his daytime sleep figured itself out. He found his natural sleep rythym, and predicting and executing naps was so much easier.
I WISH he could nap in his room. My old licensor said yes, my new licensor said no and that he cannot even nap at a distance that does not allow me to see him/other kids at the same time. I plan to gently bring this up again at my next inspection, because I am pretty confident he could sleep on another level so long as I use video monitors (which I have plenty of).

Maybe a cat nap would work. He seems to need one more in the pm than the am, but he is showing overtired behaviors by nap, so I'm sure that's a piece of the problem.
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