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Old 02-06-2018, 07:07 PM
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Default What Behaviors Would Make You Terminate?

Ladies, I am struggling with a 4 year old and now her 2.5 year old sister is becoming a struggle as well. I have been caring for these girls for over 2 years. It has not been smooth sailing with them but they would obey me. Lately I cannot keep them in line. They have parents who are nice people but they suck at parenting. These girls are terrible at home, I mean terrible....did I mention terrible? For me they were decent but now they are not listening to me hardly at all. They are also aggressive towards each other often. Today 2yr old threw a heavy-ish sorting toy at her sisters face and hit her. They are loud, they are needy they are obnoxious at pick up. What can I do? I am contemplating termination because they are not a joy to look after anymore. How would you guys handle this? What are your grounds for termination?
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Old 02-07-2018, 01:52 AM
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Termination is entirely up to you. It is your business. Do you have a termination policy in your contract? Here are some threads regarding policy and notification: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ination+policy
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Old 02-07-2018, 02:10 AM
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Have you tried having a conference with both parents about their children's behavior? It sounds like the dcps need some education and you all need to become a united front with these 2. Consistency and unity. Decide on the type of guidance and discipline you all want to use and then stick with it. Maybe give it a month before discussing progress, then make the decision. Of course, this is all dependent on if you want to give it a try with the dcks or if you're just completely done with them. And there certainly is no shame in that at all.
I have to be honest, I have kept some dcks way beyond the time I should have, but then let others go before I worked very much on the situation. It depended on the dcfs, if they would work with me, and it also helped if they weren't FT(I got a bit of a break with them).
I let a dcf of 3 boys go, they came Saturdays and the whole family was a wreck; but the last straw was when the 5 yo called me a f'n bitch. I called for pick-up immediately. And was done. But I kept sibs who were difficult due to being high maintenance; they were physical and needy and I over-kept them because, ironically there was a bond there.
Michael's right; it's entirely your decision and what you are ready to put up with, try to work on, or done with.
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Old 02-07-2018, 04:50 AM
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My grounds for terming? Easy. Any child that makes me dread their arrival. I've termed for incessant crying, late pick ups, and aggressive behavior.
I don't get paid enough to keep kids who are a danger to themselves and the other kids in my care.
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Old 02-07-2018, 06:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Play Care View Post
My grounds for terming? Easy. Any child that makes me dread their arrival. I've termed for incessant crying, late pick ups, and aggressive behavior.
I don't get paid enough to keep kids who are a danger to themselves and the other kids in my care.
Same here.

My top reasons are aggressive behavior and chronic screaming. When I find Iím spending the majority of my time dealing with one child, itís time for that child to go. I have to consider whatís best for the group.

Good luck!
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Old 02-07-2018, 06:27 AM
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Same here.

My top reasons are aggressive behavior and chronic screaming. When I find Iím spending the majority of my time dealing with one child, itís time for that child to go. I have to consider whatís best for the group.

Good luck!
Ditto to all this. I've only terminated three times so far, and it's an even split between nonstop screaming, behavior that endangered the other kids, and parental issues.
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Old 02-07-2018, 12:18 PM
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Do your written policies/contract have a section about termination-worthy behavior? If so, then remind the parents. If not, then you need to communicate verbally that the behavior is such an issue that you will be unable to keep the children if it doesn't change. No excuses or procrastination.

How long have you done daycare? Is it possible that you need to ramp up your guidance and boundaries and learn some new skills. If your boundaries have been a bit loose...if you aren't as in charge as you could be...then you'll have to always only take easy kids.
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Old 02-07-2018, 03:08 PM
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I have terminated within my 6 week trial period for constant crying from an 18 month old and undiagnosed developmental delay (child was deaf and mom would not listen to me about something being wrong). I would also terminate for any type of violence that did not respond to discipline.

I can usually work with anything else for a time unless I did not see any improvement and I started hating the kid or parent.
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Old 02-07-2018, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
Do your written policies/contract have a section about termination-worthy behavior? If so, then remind the parents. If not, then you need to communicate verbally that the behavior is such an issue that you will be unable to keep the children if it doesn't change. No excuses or procrastination.

How long have you done daycare? Is it possible that you need to ramp up your guidance and boundaries and learn some new skills. If your boundaries have been a bit loose...if you aren't as in charge as you could be...then you'll have to always only take easy kids.
I have been doing childcare for 20 years. I know how to handle things. And as providers we can only do so much. The kids go home and have no rules.
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Old 02-07-2018, 07:43 PM
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I agree that its entirely up to you on what behavior to terminate. I once terminated an infant who just cried it seemed all day. it wasn't really like a "behavior" issue. nothing i could really write on a termination slip but it was an issue enough for me and my sanity that they had to go. Id talked to mom about the crying for a little over a month on an almost daily basis so when it came to termination she wasn't upset or surprised, id like to think she respected me enough for trying with her child that long. (she wasn't always so unhappy it seemed she just got real colicy and i had 5 other kids, 2 babies to care for so it wasn't gonna happen)

Its not easy but if its to the point to where its them or your sanity choose you and your sanity thats just what id do. i have to be the best i can for my family, and the ones i care for.
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Old 02-08-2018, 10:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrynleeJean View Post
I agree that its entirely up to you on what behavior to terminate. I once terminated an infant who just cried it seemed all day. it wasn't really like a "behavior" issue. nothing i could really write on a termination slip but it was an issue enough for me and my sanity that they had to go. Id talked to mom about the crying for a little over a month on an almost daily basis so when it came to termination she wasn't upset or surprised, id like to think she respected me enough for trying with her child that long. (she wasn't always so unhappy it seemed she just got real colicy and i had 5 other kids, 2 babies to care for so it wasn't gonna happen)

Its not easy but if its to the point to where its them or your sanity choose you and your sanity thats just what id do. i have to be the best i can for my family, and the ones i care for.
I have a baby like this that is pretty much going to be getting let go as well. She has been with me since 3.5 months old. She is almost 9 months. She has gotten worse instead of better. Most babies improve while in care. She will not sleep in a crib and cries most of the time. If she does sleep it isn't for long. She is sent home early almost daily. I was hoping mom would pull by now but hasn't. She starts off fine in the beginning of the day and then within an hour is screaming and crying.We have a full daycare and it makes everyone mad.
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