Getting A Newborn "Daycare Ready"

I have a five week old, my second child. He will be starting at a small home daycare when he is about 10 weeks old.

I've been reading a lot of threads here-the ones that concern me are the ones where providers complain that a child has been held too much/coddled making the transition difficult. While I believe that newborns should be held plenty, fed on demand, and given assistance to help sleep, I understand that this level of care might not be possible in a group setting. What can I be doing to gently prepare him in the next few weeks to make sure his transition is as easy as possible?

I'm already back sleeping him in a pack'n'play for naps and I am really trying to have him fall asleep on his own (though that only works less than half the time). We just introduced bottles and are giving him a couple ounces a day to get him used to them. I wear him while doing housework or when we're out and about but I try to swaddle and transfer him to the crib once asleep when we're home. I wish I could let him sleep in my arms like my first but I know it's more cruel to get him used to a level of care he won't be able to get later.

He really doesn't like hanging out on the floor...

I'm pained at the idea of him having to cry a lot and be miserable his first few weeks. I also don't want him to be termed if he is too needy--good daycare is hard to come by here.

[Cat Herder]

Belly time is critical to your childs development. "Lack of 'Tummy Time' Leads to Motor Delays in Infants, PTs Say"
http://www.apta.org/Media/Releases/Consumer/2008/8/6/

Keep working with the bottles, back to sleep, falling asleep on his own and belly time. It will be worth it.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I have a five week old, my second child. He will be starting at a small home daycare when he is about 10 weeks old.

I've been reading a lot of threads here-the ones that concern me are the ones where providers complain that a child has been held too much/coddled making the transition difficult. While I believe that newborns should be held plenty, fed on demand, and given assistance to help sleep, I understand that this level of care might not be possible in a group setting. What can I be doing to gently prepare him in the next few weeks to make sure his transition is as easy as possible?

I'm already back sleeping him in a pack'n'play for naps and I am really trying to have him fall asleep on his own (though that only works less than half the time). We just introduced bottles and are giving him a couple ounces a day to get him used to them. I wear him while doing housework or when we're out and about but I try to swaddle and transfer him to the crib once asleep when we're home. I wish I could let him sleep in my arms like my first but I know it's more cruel to get him used to a level of care he won't be able to get later.

He really doesn't like hanging out on the floor...

I'm pained at the idea of him having to cry a lot and be miserable his first few weeks. I also don't want him to be termed if he is too needy--good daycare is hard to come by here.

Good for you for trying to do what's best for your child.

As a way of helping parents understand what I can/can't do (physically, legally mentally, etc) in group care I send them this informational sheet.

If anything it helps open up a dialog between provider and parent so that we can work together towards a common goal.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

[Ravenclaw127]

I do tummy time for a few minutes at a time but very frequently. His pediatrician instructed me to not let him get too frustrated during tummy time otherwise he may stop tolerating it all together and begin screaming as soon as I put him on his belly.

I am fine with leaving him to work out fussing, fretting, grunting, or whining for long periods of time (as long as 30-45 minutes when he's asleep--he's a loud sleeper!) and I will tolerate a minute or two of the urgent crying to see if he will settle or if I am attending to something else. I will usually try to calm him before picking him up when this happens.

Anything more than that of the urgent "Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH!" crying doesn't seem right, but I can't manage more than 5-6 minutes of floor time on his back without it escalating to that.

I figure even a busy provider isn't going to ignore urgent or frantic newborn cries. But I hope I can get him hang out on the floor for longer periods.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Ravenclaw127

I do tummy time for a few minutes at a time but very frequently. His pediatrician instructed me to not let him get too frustrated during tummy time otherwise he may stop tolerating it all together and begin screaming as soon as I put him on his belly.

I am fine with leaving him to work out fussing, fretting, grunting, or whining for long periods of time (as long as 30-45 minutes when he's asleep--he's a loud sleeper!) and I will tolerate a minute or two of the urgent crying to see if he will settle or if I am attending to something else. I will usually try to calm him before picking him up when this happens.

Anything more than that of the urgent "Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH!" crying doesn't seem right, but I can't manage more than 5-6 minutes of floor time on his back without it escalating to that.

I figure even a busy provider isn't going to ignore urgent or frantic newborn cries. But I hope I can get him hang out on the floor for longer periods.

Considering we're talking about a newborn things are definitely a bit different. Newborns get a different type of attention. As the baby ages, the daily routine changes.

For newborns, they mostly just eat, sleep and poo.

My expectations for belly time and figuring things out on their own adjust with age. I wouldn't expect a 6 week old to be able to self soothe in the same manner I would a 6 month old.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Ravenclaw127

I do tummy time for a few minutes at a time but very frequently. His pediatrician instructed me to not let him get too frustrated during tummy time otherwise he may stop tolerating it all together and begin screaming as soon as I put him on his belly.

I am fine with leaving him to work out fussing, fretting, grunting, or whining for long periods of time (as long as 30-45 minutes when he's asleep--he's a loud sleeper!) and I will tolerate a minute or two of the urgent crying to see if he will settle or if I am attending to something else. I will usually try to calm him before picking him up when this happens.

Anything more than that of the urgent "Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH! Ah-WAH!" crying doesn't seem right, but I can't manage more than 5-6 minutes of floor time on his back without it escalating to that.

I figure even a busy provider isn't going to ignore urgent or frantic newborn cries. But I hope I can get him hang out on the floor for longer periods.

Of course not. Belly time will be in short supervised bursts until he is crawling, he will gets lots of cuddles and face time because few can resist and eventually he will scaffold into all waking time down with toys because he is happy playing. No worries.

[storybookending]

Just showing your concern for your child’s transition and recognizing behaviors that might be hard on your provider is great. A lot of parents just do what is easiest for them and don’t even think twice about how their child will transition to daycare. Kudos to you for that. It sounds like you are doing a good job and a lot can change in the 5 weeks you have until your child begins care. I would just keep working on him playing on the floor. Gradually “wear” him less and less as the days go by. Don’t attend to him for every little noise he makes, it is okay to let them whine and fuss a little. It sounds like you are doing a great job already trying these things so just keep it up!

[CalCare]

I agree with what's been said. I do want to add something. I don't think
that don't think holding baby while sleeping is a higher "level of care", I don't think you are getting baby used to a lesser level of care by not holding to sleep. Lying alone to sleep is really just fine and not a negative. Also, I read your mention of tummy time on the floor and lying on his back to sleep, when in the pack n play. But, he can lie on his back a lot of the time, not just his tummy, when he isn't held or sleeping. My school of thought, we don't force tummy time. Baby will move there in time, on their own.
The babies I care for, I lay them down on their backs to play. They play with their hands, look around the room. Babies don't really need much yet for toys at that newborn stage.
I'm a firm believer that they are best cared for lying on their back on the floor (obviously with cozy blankets etc underneath), developing their motor skills and social skills. Adults can chat with them and observe and baby can interact and observe and make lots of motions with arms and legs, experimenting how they move.
It sounds like you are doing great to prepare yourself and baby for care, creating expectations for him with nap, pack n play, bottles. That's great!

[hwichlaz]

He still has the moro reflex. So when you put him on the floor on his back he probably startles and feels like he's falling?


If you can manage it, snuggle him down to the floor close to your chest, and slowly ease away so he feels safe. He'll outgrow that reflex pretty soon.

[Ravenclaw127]

Thank you all for your suggestions and reassurance. I have great angst about a newborn crying it out and would do anything to avoid that happening at daycare.

The great news is that I have been persistent about having him be comfortable on the floor. He's not a "carpet gnome" in that I can't yet leave him alone, but he is playing up to 20 minutes with me sitting right there with him. If he gets very upset I hold him for a minute to give him a break or change position (black to tummy or vice versa) and put him right back down. I will gradually leave him alone longer and longer.

I read some stuff on RIE and it gave me confidence to let him work stuff out on the floor.

My first was held all the time (he didn't tolerate ANYTHING else-swings, bouncers, carseats, let alone floors) and he still, at 6, has a really hard time entertaining himself

[daycarediva]

Originally Posted by Ravenclaw127

Thank you all for your suggestions and reassurance. I have great angst about a newborn crying it out and would do anything to avoid that happening at daycare.

The great news is that I have been persistent about having him be comfortable on the floor. He's not a "carpet gnome" in that I can't yet leave him alone, but he is playing up to 20 minutes with me sitting right there with him. If he gets very upset I hold him for a minute to give him a break or change position (black to tummy or vice versa) and put him right back down. I will gradually leave him alone longer and longer.

I read some stuff on RIE and it gave me confidence to let him work stuff out on the floor.

My first was held all the time (he didn't tolerate ANYTHING else-swings, bouncers, carseats, let alone floors) and he still, at 6, has a really hard time entertaining himself

THANK YOU from the bottom of my provider (and anti CIO mama's) heart for helping your child be the best him he can be! Your provider will be appreciative, but the baby benefits the most. It IS more upfront work, but a happy, independent, well adjusted child is an amazing reward.