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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>With What Issues Are You the Weakest?
Josiegirl 01:49 AM 11-16-2018
We all have our strong points when we don't back down and I know some of you have strong backbones in every aspect of your business. But what about those of you who do give an inch, in what areas does that happen most often? Do you find that your flexibility is an advantage in any way? Do you find your dcfs take definite advantage of it? Do you wish you could stand strong and just say no?? Do you feel your flexibility is fine for your situation or do you wish you could change your policies/personality/backbone strength to firm instead of flexible?
Just curious because some days and with certain parents, I have no problem with telling parents the way I expect it to be, but other days......
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DaveA 03:50 AM 11-16-2018
Probably chit chatting with DCPs, especially at pickup. I really want to hurry pickups along. Then somehow I always end up in a ridiculously long conversations. Considering I have a couple of classic "over sharers" I end up with some moments.


According to the last person inquiring about my opening I'm too businesslike and too inflexible on contracts. Shame that doesn't bother me.
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Cat Herder 04:29 AM 11-16-2018
I don't see flexibility as a weakness. I also don't try to fool myself by calling fear of conflict or upsetting my client's "flexibility".

When my clients struggle with a life circumstance that they have exhausted every other option for, then I step in. If I can without too much disruption to my family.

With my clients being in their 20's and me in my 40's, I feel a sense of purpose when I can ease some paths I struggled on at their age. Their first car crash, first major surgery, first week-long power outage, and other things of that nature.
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coloradoprovider 06:02 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I don't see flexibility as a weakness. I also don't try to fool myself by calling fear of conflict or upsetting my client's "flexibility".

When my clients struggle with a life circumstance that they have exhausted every other option for, then I step in. If I can without too much disruption to my family.

With my clients being in their 20's and me in my 40's, I feel a sense of purpose when I can ease some paths I struggled on at their age. Their first car crash, first major surgery, first week-long power outage, and other things of that nature.
Agree- now that I'm older (in my 50's) I have found that I can say "No" much more easily but at the same time, I can be flexible for parents who could use some grace. I won't let any parent take advantage, but I also expect no grumbling when I have to close early due to my own appointments. I DO take note of their attitudes when I have a special need. I guess I expect respect for my needs while I respect their needs (not wants!).
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Annalee 09:27 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
We all have our strong points when we don't back down and I know some of you have strong backbones in every aspect of your business. But what about those of you who do give an inch, in what areas does that happen most often? Do you find that your flexibility is an advantage in any way? Do you find your dcfs take definite advantage of it? Do you wish you could stand strong and just say no?? Do you feel your flexibility is fine for your situation or do you wish you could change your policies/personality/backbone strength to firm instead of flexible?
Just curious because some days and with certain parents, I have no problem with telling parents the way I expect it to be, but other days......
I'm better at being "firm" but have by no means mastered it and things still come up that make me go

My weakest point is I want to BELIEVE everyone. I feel I am trustworthy so I expect the same from others and that just isn't the case. Make sense?
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Cat Herder 09:32 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Annalee:
My weakest point is I want to BELIEVE everyone. I feel I am trustworthy so I expect the same from others and that just isn't the case. Make sense?
I was that way (second guessing if I was punishing them for something someone else did) until I opened my daycare facebook page. It opened my eyes and firmed my spine like nothing else. I did not do a business page, mine is a personal page, so I can see everything they post as well.

A couple "Up all night with a sick baby" 's while the kid is screaming and they are pleading they can't imagine why. Or my favorite "Having so much fun with ____ at the beach!!" while ____ is here with me. Makes you wonder who she was at the beach with, no?
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Annalee 09:36 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I was that way (second guessing if I was punishing them for something someone else did) until I opened my daycare facebook page. It opened my eyes and firmed my spine like nothing else. I did not do a business page, mine is a personal page, so I can see everything they post as well.

A couple "Up all night with a sick baby" 's while the kid is screaming and they are pleading they can't imagine why. Or my favorite "Having so much fun with ____ at the beach!!" while ____ is here with me. Makes you wonder who she was at the beach with, no?
EXACTLY!!!!! At the end of the day, this is a BUSINESS!!!!
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MarinaVanessa 10:28 AM 11-16-2018
My weakness is not saying no to friends and neighbors. I had a bad experience with my sister in law many many years ago so at least I say no to family but I can't seem to say no to people I consider friends.

My husband's best friend and his wife for example, I probably should have said no to them but I didn't and I'm now watching their 2 kiddos. There isn't anything too serious but there are small things that I don't normally do for other clients that I do for them like letting them drop off whenever they want (within their contracted hours) instead of having them give me their drop off and pick up schedule like everybody else and letting them stay a while to chit chat after I have closed. It's not too major but sometimes I want to know what time my day will start and I want to relax in my living room at the end of the day without anyone else's kids.


One problem I did curb was when I was asked to stay open later for them a few times a month as a favor temporarily but it ended up being more often and for a lot longer than what was discussed which then somehow turned into their normal routine. This was the one thing that I just couldn't keep doing because I had other things I wanted to do and couldn't.

The rest I can handle and I feel like it does benefit me because if I ever have to close a little early or take a day off I never hear any complaints and sometimes when they know they're the only clients I have for a day they'll keep their kids home and give me the day off. Also they pay for the earliest and latest they will need but rarely use the full time. Usually instead of 7am-5pm they come 10am-5pm so for me it is a give and take with them and that's why I don't push it or mind so much.
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LittleExplorers 10:33 AM 11-16-2018
Not being as perceptive as I could be.

For example mom dropped off extra diapers for little one that were not requested, and told me her work location for the day (she cleans houses and carpets, so it changes.) She is a chatty lady, didn't think much of it.


20 minutes later the watery loose leaking diaper kind of stools start. The signs pointed to her knowing little one was sick.
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littlefriends 11:54 AM 11-16-2018
Iím not good when Iím put on the spot. I have to be ready and have thought my arguments through and what I want or need to say. So when a dcp puts me on the spot asking for some kind of favor or special treatment sometimes I accidentally give in or say yes because Iím not ready to be mean. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I then kick myself for not thinking faster, ugh. Iíve been told the word ďnoĒ is a complete sentence but itís hard to say it sometimes!!
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coloradoprovider 12:25 PM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
Iím not good when Iím put on the spot. I have to be ready and have thought my arguments through and what I want or need to say. So when a dcp puts me on the spot asking for some kind of favor or special treatment sometimes I accidentally give in or say yes because Iím not ready to be mean. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I then kick myself for not thinking faster, ugh. Iíve been told the word ďnoĒ is a complete sentence but itís hard to say it sometimes!!
Practice saying "I'll think about it." It gives you time to really consider the request. Even if you know it'll work for you right away, practice "I'll think about it."
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Indoorvoice 01:19 PM 11-16-2018
I have so many weaknesses. I try to be flexible, I think because when I had to use daycare my daycare provider was so flexible and that made me feel valued. In return I valued her and made sure to pay it back whenever I could by picking up early or pay extra even when she didn't charge it (but should have!) The problem is my daycare families are not that way. Favors are seen as mandatory and never repaid. I'm a rule follower, so I always think "I'll make this rule and everyone will comply, and all will be good" because that's what I would do if a rule was given to me. I'm finding rules are just suggestions and you actually have to enforce them and I hate it when parents know the rules and push them anyway forcing me to confront them. I find it so rude. I also hate making anyone feel upset so I would rather be upset and stew over it than have anyone be upset with me,hence my problems with rules. I think with experience and maturity I'll be better with this, but at this stage, it's just where I'm at.
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MomBoss 01:37 PM 11-16-2018
Claiming my late fees! If they read the contract they should know to pay- i shouldnt have to chase my money!
But i feel awkward asking for $2 for being 2 min late..ugh
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littlefriends 02:08 PM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
Claiming my late fees! If they read the contract they should know to pay- i shouldnt have to chase my money!
But i feel awkward asking for $2 for being 2 min late..ugh
This one Iím pretty good at because I always use any late fees I get to treat me and my family! Last week we went to the movies!
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Cat Herder 02:10 PM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
But i feel awkward asking for $2 for being 2 min late..ugh
It is the adult equivalent to having a preschooler put a toy in the "gone for the rest of the day" box for throwing it.
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CityGarden 02:17 PM 11-16-2018
My weakness is in marketing.... I do not like marketing my program and meeting new parents.
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Unregistered 02:26 PM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
My weakness is in marketing.... I do not like marketing my program and meeting new parents.
I was just going to say the same thing! I hate meeting new parents. The longer I do this the more particular I am about choosing good families to work with. Also, it is awkward and sadly there are not many parenting parents these days either.
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MyAngels 06:06 AM 11-17-2018
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
My weakness is in marketing.... I do not like marketing my program and meeting new parents.
Me too, and the older I get the worse it gets.
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Unregistered 03:53 PM 11-18-2018
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
My weakness is in marketing.... I do not like marketing my program and meeting new parents.
This and meeting anyone new. Like if mom tells me great aunt Ida is picking up. I feel like they want me to feel like a queen just arrived. Just take your great niece/nephew and go. I can't fake being happy/nice/interested. A mom pulled her daughter after I didn't do a backflip for a new haircut. Um, you got it cut due to everyone in your house having lice. I hate running into families, current or past, outside. I once made friends with the relatives of a past family and she revealed the grandmother of former daycare kid said "She is good with kids, but mean" about me. XD
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Unregistered 03:55 PM 11-18-2018
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Me too, and the older I get the worse it gets.
I'm #19. I refuse to have a site or do facebook. I'm not taking pictures of kids either. That's fr the families.
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nanglgrl 08:48 AM 11-20-2018
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
Iím not good when Iím put on the spot. I have to be ready and have thought my arguments through and what I want or need to say. So when a dcp puts me on the spot asking for some kind of favor or special treatment sometimes I accidentally give in or say yes because Iím not ready to be mean. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I then kick myself for not thinking faster, ugh. Iíve been told the word ďnoĒ is a complete sentence but itís hard to say it sometimes!!
ďLet me get back to you on that!Ē Best thing I ever learned to say.
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nanglgrl 09:00 AM 11-20-2018
Iím weakest at interviews. Thankfully I only have to do them every few years as a lot of my kids are around the same age. Basically I have one year where I donít usually have any openings, the next where one half of the group leaves for school and the next year where the other half leaves for school.
I tend to come across very ďmy way or the highwayĒ to potential clients and while that is true I have a hard time sugarcoating or smiling and nodding. For instance, if you come to me telling me that your 16 month is potty training/doesnít need naps/is a genius I canít just smile and nod and let myself assess the situation once the child is in my care. I will immediately basically do a ďheck noĒ and go on a ďtiradeĒ about what I will and will not do and the facts concerning the issue at hand.
I guess I do the same when actual clients come to me with things I think are sheer ridiculousness. However, I donít know if I would change this. I tend to get great clients with the same views on parenting as me or who at least respect me enough to trust my point of view and experience.

Ah..another weakness..responding to after hours texts about things the parents can just google or are things that donít need addressed. I donít mind helping with issues, Iím glad they come to me, however, it takes a lot of my time some days.
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Baby Beluga 09:30 AM 11-20-2018
I hate interviewing and am terrible at it. I am not a sell yourself person. It feels awkward to do it and it comes across as awkward.

I also believe people too much. And when I know they are lying I have a hard time calling them out on it.

I draft too many different versions of emails/notes/etc trying to find the perfect balance between business and friendliness.

I over explain. And when I catch myself over explaining I tend to not explain at all. Again, weakness with balance.
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ardeur 04:20 PM 11-27-2018
I too often let the little things slide because I'm fearful of seeming petty. And then it'll bite me in the butt. Like the dcg who I let bring toys from home when that's against policy. Then one day she left pennies on the floor for the baby to get. Had no idea she brought them. Now I'm firm about that policy.

Another was when I let dcg bring in her pbj. Found out later that a dcb has a peanut allergy. Reminded me why I have a no outside food policy. Thankfully nothing happened to dcb but it's now made me stand firm.

And I get caught off-guard by requests that go against my policies. I'm not good when I'm put on the spot. I've been known to text later with my apologies for not being prepared with an answer and then I remind them of my policies or fees.
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grandmom 05:11 PM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by littlefriends:
Iím not good when Iím put on the spot. I have to be ready and have thought my arguments through and what I want or need to say. So when a dcp puts me on the spot asking for some kind of favor or special treatment sometimes I accidentally give in or say yes because Iím not ready to be mean. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I then kick myself for not thinking faster, ugh. Iíve been told the word ďnoĒ is a complete sentence but itís hard to say it sometimes!!
Response: "Let me think about that and get back to you."
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