Feeling Down

[CountryRoads]

I'm in such a funk and am really disliking my job lately.

I have good policies and I enforce them, but I hate that I even have to enforce them. I feel like some dcp don't have respect for me or my business.

I would love to term a couple of my families, but it is so hard to find full time kids in my super tiny town and I can't afford to term them right now.

Dealing with the parents is incredibly frustrating and I have a hard time finding my backbone. I always worry about what they will think of me or say, because ya know, tiny town.

Dcm lets her children run wild and they both have fallen down our stairs several times. Hoping to solve that problem this summer by having families enter through the downstairs instead of our upstairs.

I do something nice and generous for a family, and I get taken advantage of.

I am younger than all of my dcp and I sometimes think they don't take me seriously because of it.

I have a nosy dcm who drives me crazy. She thinks she needs to know whats going on in my life and other daycare families' lives.

I'm worried that a dcm is lying to me when she said she's going back to work after having her baby and it stresses me out thinking I will have to fill a spot.

Oh, and dcd called me a babysitter yesterday

BUT, there are a lot of positives, so I need to learn to remember those when I have bad days.

Thank you for listening

[Blackcat31]

We've all been there!!

[Blackcat31]

It's always nice to revisit this post too

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66513

[Cat Herder]

Being younger than your clients is the worst. I remember how incredibly hard it was, I also know it gets so much easier when you get older, so keep heart.

BTW, most of my clients call me their sitter, too. It is just the common term for it because teachers are K-12 and provider just does not roll off the tongue or describe us as well to others. It has little to do with their level of respect for you in most cases.

Employer: "No calls during work."
Employee: "It's the provider"
Employer: "Drug dealer?"

Employer: "No calls at work."
Employee: "It's the teacher."
Employer: "I did not know you had kids in school. It is summer, school is out"

Employer: "No calls at work."
Employee: "It's the sitter."
Employer: "Oh, no, is everything ok? Do you need anything?"

[Josiegirl]

I know it's hard to enforce the rules but it's a necessary part of it all. I was terrible about it. I always just kept my fingers crossed that everybody make it to the end of the day okay. The one thing you mentioned that would worry me the most, as a provider, is the dcm whose kids have fallen down the steps multiple times. I would require children's hands be held and they be taught how to walk down steps carefully, not run amok. There are enough things a child can get injured on; if parents do what they should to curb crazy behavior, it could be one less. Send a newsletter home so you're not singling one person out, if that makes you more comfortable.
With the nosy dcm, practice short ways to change the subject or be vague, because you don't have to answer her nosy questions.
As for the family that's taking advantage of you because you were nice to them, now you know who'll try to take more from you so just say 'no, that won't work for me' next time.
When does the pregnant dcm take maternity leave? Can you start making a $$ cushion just in case she pulls out on you last minute, that she's not coming back? Does she still need to give you 2 week notice and is paying for her maternity leave to hold her spot? You don't have to answer the questions but maybe if she's not committed to holding her spot, you might want to be proactive and start putting the word out that you'll have an opening.

Good luck with everything about dc that's bothering you at the moment. Maybe try making a list and deal with 1 issue at a time, until you feel like you've regained control of your business.

[Lil_Diddle]

We all have those days! Take a breath and think of what made you start doing childcare in the first place.

The parents always cause more stress than the kids, I’d love to tell you it will change... but there’s always atleast one in the bunch. Just be firm in your rules. And try to keep the relationship professional. You are now your business, you can be nice to them, but they are not your friends. Mixing friends, family and business is never a good idea.

I started out young too, do you have kids of your own yet? Things I used to be judgmental or thought I had all of the answers. No way, now that I have my own kids I relate to my DCP so much better. As long as you are running your daycare well, kids are in a safe loving environment. Don’t worry what the DCP’s think. They are still bringing their kids to you, that means something.

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

It's always nice to revisit this post too

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66513

Thank you! What a great resource!

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Being younger than your clients is the worst. I remember how incredibly hard it was, I also know it gets so much easier when you get older, so keep heart.

BTW, most of my clients call me their sitter, too. It is just the common term for it because teachers are K-12 and provider just does not roll off the tongue or describe us as well to others. It has little to do with their level of respect for you in most cases.

Employer: "No calls during work."
Employee: "It's the provider"
Employer: "Drug dealer?"

Employer: "No calls at work."
Employee: "It's the teacher."
Employer: "I did not know you had kids in school. It is summer, school is out"

Employer: "No calls at work."
Employee: "It's the sitter."
Employer: "Oh, no, is everything ok? Do you need anything?"

You're right, I guess it's just easier for some people to use that word. In my head I was like "I'm not the teenage girl down that street that baby sits for date night."

[Ariana]

I was just in this funk and read the book “Finding your smile again” and it was life changing! The resource that BC posted is also amazing. Burnout is VERY common in an occupation with little recognition and little thanks especially if you care.

Some takeaways from the book are to set up boundaries between you and your families by enforcing policies and taking time off when you need it. Most families need us more than we need them and if you are a good provider they won’t leave just because you value yourself.

There is also a good YouTube channel called Work Life Glue which is really good. There are a few providers on YouTube and it is nice to get ideas from others and get advice on there.

Hang in there

[rosieteddy]

Home Daycare can be tough.Parents do seem to think its glorified babysitting sometimes.I always cringed when someone would say "oh wish I had your job getting to play all day".More than once I had to bite my tongue on that.The best thing for me was to just remember I was in charge.They followed the contract ,I chose my policies ect.The children were somewhat happy ,we did what I wanted ,stayed out a little longer if I wanted.Art or free time even nap time the day went as I wanted.I was the boss ,there is a lot to be said for that.I loved being home when my own children and later grandchildren needed me.I made a good paycheck each week and at the end of the day could pick and choose somewhat my clients.When I took the emotion out of it where the parents were concerned it was a much easier job.Hang in there,and be nice to yourself.

[Annalee]

While I do work with my mom, FCC can be isolating. Absolutely NO ONE understands it unless they do it every day. I agree with Rosie Teddy, providers (or should I say educators as that is what the new licensing rules refer to us as ) have to take the emotion out of it. Every situation I have had trouble with was because I allowed my heart to get into it. There has to be a separation. This is a business!

Also, while keeping children for five years is job security, it is also hard not to get close to these families after such a long time and the families begin to expect extra benefits due to their longevity. Just so many issues to deal with emotionally if providers (oops, educators) dont stay on top of their game.

Hang in there!

[Cat Herder]

Educators.

Yeah, no.

We need to get back to CARE.

They will get plenty of years of education in their future.

Infants and toddlers need good CARE.

Parents are not doing it (less than 2 hours waking time per day, national average). Teachers can not do it (30 to one ratio, average).

[Annalee]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Educators.

Yeah, no.

We need to get back to CARE.

They will get plenty of years of education in their future.

Infants and toddlers need good CARE.

Parents are not doing it (less than 2 hours waking time per day, national average). Teachers can not do it (30 to one ratio, average).

I hear ya! Some positive changes are about to happen here for FCC but I think education/specific training are going to be tied in with it.....so glad I went on to get my degree back when! Don't want to buy-in too much but am more open-minded right now as I had previously shut down.

[Mom2Two]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Educators.

Yeah, no.

We need to get back to CARE.

They will get plenty of years of education in their future.

Infants and toddlers need good CARE.

Parents are not doing it (less than 2 hours waking time per day, national average). Teachers can not do it (30 to one ratio, average).

[hwichlaz]

Originally Posted by CountryRoads

You're right, I guess it's just easier for some people to use that word. In my head I was like "I'm not the teenage girl down that street that baby sits for date night."

I always remind them that sitters around here get $15 an hour ;P

If I call work though, I say "It's daycare calling"