What to Say to Parents

What do you say to parents who are complaining about picking up a sick child? Lately there have been two parents who complain that their job is mad or they are going to be in trouble with work. One dad said his job told him to have a back up plan.

Yes they need to have a back up plan. I've only sent these two home once so it's not like I've been sending them home so if their parents are using the sick kid excuse with work then that's on them.

I'm just very tired of the complaining. I was actually a little blunt with one parent and said too bad! Your sick kid can't be here figure something out.

What do you say when parents are complaining about their jobs and having to pick up a sick kid?

[Cat Herder]

"I understand parenting is hard. I have done it, too. Sadly, it is only for a few short years then they are off on their own. The days of them wanting to spend time with you when they are sick and being able to make them feel better are very short."

or

"Suck it up buttercup. Look out the window sometimes instead of the mirror."

Your call.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What do you say to parents who are complaining about picking up a sick child? Lately there have been two parents who complain that their job is mad or they are going to be in trouble with work. One dad said his job told him to have a back up plan.

Yes they need to have a back up plan. I've only sent these two home once so it's not like I've been sending them home so if their parents are using the sick kid excuse with work then that's on them.

I'm just very tired of the complaining. I was actually a little blunt with one parent and said too bad! Your sick kid can't be here figure something out.

What do you say when parents are complaining about their jobs and having to pick up a sick kid?

I explain to parents that their work responsibilities have NOTHING to do with daycare.

If THEIR child is sick and excluded from my care, being at work, getting permission to miss work etc has no connection whatsoever to daycare.

THAT is where the flaw lies with parents. They seem to think daycare and their work is connected somehow.

Explain to them that if THEIR work requires them to be there or does not provide much PTO then THEY need to make sure they have that aspect of THEIR life covered as it has nothing to do with daycare.

Parents need to learn to keep the two issues separate.

As for what to actually say...when parent says "my work is getting mad that I am missing so much time when Jr gets sick"

Provider: "I totally understand. I'd be upset if I were your employer too so I guess it's time to make sure you have a plan in place so that when Jr gets sick and can't come to daycare you have someone else that can watch him"

I just keep replying in a manner that lets them know the two have nothing to do with each other. Just as if they were talking about an issue with their garbage man or cable person...I understand but it has nothing to do with me.

[Cat Herder]

It really does seem that a lot of parents believe we are co-parents. We are not. Your child's other parent is. It is your job to make co-parenting work with them. If that is not an option, grandparents, friends or mild-ill back-up daycares are options.

[e.j.]

I've said something like, "I know it's not easy. Unfortunately, I can't risk the other kids' health by allowing your child to stay here. Before opening my own day care, my oldest was enrolled in someone else's child care while I worked outside the home. I used to save all of my sick/vacation hours for times like this when I had to stay home with my own sick child." It seems so many parents use up their paid leave, taking them as "Me Days" instead of using them for times when they really have to take time off.

[AmyKidsCo]

I blame it on state licensing rules (most parents don't know the specifics) and add "if it were another child you wouldn't want them here sharing their germs."

[Snowmom]

Too bad, so sad.

Kidding. Kind of.
Honestly, I really don't care if they are upset. The policy is there to protect everyone. I just did it today actually. Child had a nasty cough and 100.4 fever. Otherwise completely normal, eating, acting totally fine. It really could be nothing. Or it could be the influenza that hit 40% of the neighboring schools and created an epidemic. I'm not going to chance it either way. She qualified for exclusion under my illness policy, there IS NO argument.

They ask if they have to stay home tomorrow, the answer is yes. I don't argue. It is what it is.

If they had argued (they don't- they are a good family), I just would have repeated what the symptoms are:
"she has a fever and cough"
"but, she's fine"
"she has a fever and cough"
"but nothing else."
"fever and a cough are symptoms I exclude for in my illness policy. She has a fever and cough".

[Ariana]

I always say “yes this time of year sucks...welcome to daycare” and laugh. It is not my problem and if they want a daycare that takes sick kids they are welcome to go there!

I also always do a reminder on my daycare page of my illness policy in the fall and the need to have BACKUP CARE WHEN THEIR KIDS ARE SICK. It kind of drives the point home that it is their responsibility. It usually cuts down on the complaining significantly because I have already given the expectation.

[dolores]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What do you say to parents who are complaining about picking up a sick child? Lately there have been two parents who complain that their job is mad or they are going to be in trouble with work. One dad said his job told him to have a back up plan.

Yes they need to have a back up plan. I've only sent these two home once so it's not like I've been sending them home so if their parents are using the sick kid excuse with work then that's on them.

I'm just very tired of the complaining. I was actually a little blunt with one parent and said too bad! Your sick kid can't be here figure something out.

What do you say when parents are complaining about their jobs and having to pick up a sick kid?

The parent handbook you were given states you will be called to pick up your child should they become sick while in our care. We cannot give your child the extra attention they need AND we want everyone else to remain healthy. If you cannot comply we will have to terminate services.

[Lil_Diddle]

I’ve actually had to terminate care of this issue. Dad knowingly dropped off a sick child, admitted he gave him Tylenol and said fever should go down soon. When I commented DCB looked miserable the father agreed. When I told the father he could not leave hm here the dad went mad. He got so angry and making threats that I had to demand he leave. When DCM found out she apologized. But because of their work schedules dad was always the one that had to drop off. I told them dad was not allowed to drop off until he apologized. He refused so I said this was no longer a working relationship and termed the child. I also did not return the deposit. As in my handbook it says deposits are not returned in cases where children are removed from care due to disrespect to me and/or my policies.

I get it, it can be stressful dealing with work and sick children but there is nothing I can do about it. Welcome to parenthood. The number one thing I tell prospective daycare families is always have a back-up plan, especially with home childcare

[Snowmom]

Originally Posted by Lil_Diddle

I’ve actually had to terminate care of this issue. Dad knowingly dropped off a sick child, admitted he gave him Tylenol and said fever should go down soon. When I commented DCB looked miserable the father agreed. When I told the father he could not leave hm here the dad went mad. He got so angry and making threats that I had to demand he leave. When DCM found out she apologized. But because of their work schedules dad was always the one that had to drop off. I told them dad was not allowed to drop off until he apologized. He refused so I said this was no longer a working relationship and termed the child. I also did not return the deposit. As in my handbook it says deposits are not returned in cases where children are removed from care due to disrespect to me and/or my policies.

I get it, it can be stressful dealing with work and sick children but there is nothing I can do about it. Welcome to parenthood. The number one thing I tell prospective daycare families is always have a back-up plan, especially with home childcare

Nearly the same thing happened to me a few years back.

Kid had a bad case of impetigo on his whole body and Dad tried dropping off the kid, who was screaming in pain.
I said no, Dad got irate (screaming I was costing him money!), slammed my door so hard it knocked things off my wall and screeched his tires out my driveway.
Termed immediately. But not without mom leaving me messages begging for me to call her.

[LittleExplorers]

I would say, then I suggest you get your back up plan in place. I do not offer sick care. Hope x feels better!

[DaveA]

"I have to operate under my policies and licensing regulations. I cannot provide care for a sick child." Like previous posters said it is not your responsibility to deal with DCP's backup plans or lack of one.

[LostMyMarbles]

I find that a parent like that, is the one who stays home when he or she is sick. And burns their days off that way, rather than saving one for their second child.