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  #1  
Old 03-29-2011, 08:28 AM
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Default Seriously?!?! (Mostly venting)

I have a dcb (4) who is very aggressive. Most of the time he hits and pushes because he is excited rather than if he's mad. I have notified the parents about this and taken steps towards making it better. Yesterday he pushed because he was mad and I told the step dad who always picks up. Later in the day (at my sons gymnastics) the real dad called to ask if he pushed out of malous or because he was excited.

My question is does it matter why he does it? This is an every other day conversation about him hitting or pushing. To me it's a behavior that needs to stop regardless of the reasons behind him doing it. OH and this dcb is part time usually only coming at 1 but on the days that he is full day he lays down for a rest (like everyone else). Yesterday I told him to lay down (like everyone else was doing) and he says "my dad said i don't have to take a rest when i'm here"

grrrrrrrr
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:24 PM
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marniewon marniewon is offline
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Sounds like you need to have a sit-down with his parents. Your house, your rules, not what mom and dad say.

No, it doesn't matter WHY he pushes, the behavior needs to stop. However you decide to handle it is up to you, but you should tell the parents that he is NOT allowed to push for any reason, and if he does, ___________ will happen. Also let them know that there will be no more discussion of the "why". It doesn't matter why he did it, you don't need to waste your time explaining it each time.

You also need to let the parents know that every child in your care participates in quiet time. Even their son. Let them know that telling dcb that he doesn't have to participate makes it harder on him, when you do enforce it.
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:55 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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It doesn't matter why he is doing it. The Dad is trying to put adult emotions in it.

If I get shot with a 57 Smith and Wesson or get ran over by a 57 Chevy.. I'm still a gonner.

Hit is hit.

The Dad thinks if he is doing it because of something good (excitement) then it doesn't count like if he was doing something bad ( violence). To the kid who gets hit it doesn't matter his intent.

At his age there is a fine line between excitement and hostility. Kids this age have pent up energy and they are trying to figure out how to expend it. He needs to learn to do that in a different way.
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Old 03-29-2011, 02:02 PM
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Angelwings36 Angelwings36 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I have a dcb (4) who is very aggressive. Most of the time he hits and pushes because he is excited rather than if he's mad. I have notified the parents about this and taken steps towards making it better. Yesterday he pushed because he was mad and I told the step dad who always picks up. Later in the day (at my sons gymnastics) the real dad called to ask if he pushed out of malous or because he was excited.

My question is does it matter why he does it? This is an every other day conversation about him hitting or pushing. To me it's a behavior that needs to stop regardless of the reasons behind him doing it. OH and this dcb is part time usually only coming at 1 but on the days that he is full day he lays down for a rest (like everyone else). Yesterday I told him to lay down (like everyone else was doing) and he says "my dad said i don't have to take a rest when i'm here"

grrrrrrrr
I would be putting the child in time out every single time he pushed someone else. Someone needs to correct his bad behaviour and if you don't it doesn't look like anyone else will either. As far as the dad's comments I would just tell him regardless of if he is pushing because he is excited or angry you do not tolerate any pushing in your daycare...PERIOD! Just be firm about it and don't let the dad push you around.

Perhaps you could ask the dad if he would mind if you pushed him because you are excited???? lol really jk hahahaha.
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Old 03-29-2011, 02:14 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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LOL...Parents crack me up sometimes!!!

Does it really matter what the circumstances surrounded why he pushed or hit or kicked or did anything aggressive?! We are taught at a young age not to do this because we don't want it done to ourselves and we don't want to wind up in jail because of an altercation! The same should go for kids.

If positive reinforcement and time out isn't working, it's probably time to sit the parents down and tell them how things ARE going to be or BUH BYE! Kids showing aggression towards other kids is bad enough but if I was the brunt of it, NO WAY, JOSE! AND...if it were previously discussed with the parents and I got hit/pushed they'd be termed the same day.

Then to get back talked in your own house...HE(double hockey sticks) NO! Naptime is naptime! Nuh-night!
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Old 03-29-2011, 02:26 PM
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Live and Learn Live and Learn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I have a dcb (4) who is very aggressive.



Yesterday I told him to lay down (like everyone else was doing) and he says "my dad said i don't have to take a rest when i'm here"

A four year old should know better. ......kindergarten will be hard for him if he doesn't learn not to hit SOON!

On the napping issue the dad is making you out to be the bad guy because he doesn't have the backbone to tell a four year old NO! The dad wants to be the good guy. ......guaranteed the dad couldn't do your job for a day.....

Back to the hitting issue again...... the first time another kid hits his kid no matter the reason these parents will be all over you about it!
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Old 03-29-2011, 02:59 PM
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cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
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I had a family like that. They are asking for particulars so they can cling to a reason for his behavior, which makes it okay in their eyes. Stand firm on your no pushing/hitting policies. Its just not fair to the other kids to give allowances to this one. I would definitely tell the parents to think about how they would feel if another child hit their child repeatedly. Would the reasons make it okay in that instance?
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aggressive behavior, hitting, parent - conversation, pushing, shovel, terrible 2's, vent

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