well..I did it; I termed my problem family. I've been in business for 9 mos, & they were my first family,so it's a bit sad, but DCB's behaviour was out of control & I just didn't have the fortitude for his delays. Today after hitting another kid and hoarding toys from others, he hit me. I texted his mom immediately and explained what was going on and that I was terminating care because of it. I told her that I understood it would be hard to find care, so he could come back tomorrow & Friday, but Friday would be his last day here. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. Especially cause she had the day off & had been at a concert drinking the night before. She signed my term sheet, and I made one for her. She proceeded to tell me how her son spent the day with their friend who does developmental therapy apparently, & how she couldn't disagree more w/ my observations. I said, "DCM, I was just giving you an in-depth observation of what I've observed over the 7-8+ hrs he's here daily, for the last 9 mos." She says in a challenging tone, "well, he's going to be going to his ped for an in depth developmental assessment." Me: "Fantastic!" (I've been wanting that for 6 mos now.) Anyway, absolutely hate confrontation, but it needed done. It's already calmer here. Kinda hope she stops to pick up her diapers & wipes tomorrow and doesn't come back. If she doesn't return, I'll owe her a refund of $30 for the day she didn't use, but that's so worth it. Thanks to everyone for the advice and the stories of using your backbone & how to term.

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If she doesn't return, I would think you don't owe her anything. You were available for care through Friday. If she chooses to NOT use a day she paid for, that is her loss NOT yours.

Good job for sticking to your guns about this. Bad behavior is a hard thing to deal with and the second she started telling you how good he was elsewhere only proves that he just wasn't a good fit for your program then.

I doubt very much what she said about him being good elsewhere is true but parents see things in whatever ways they have to in order to make sense of their parenting skills or lack of.

You did what you could and now you have to put your group as a whole as well as your sanity first and you did exactly that. Well done!

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good for you. If he's hitting you, then what is he doing to his mother????

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you did good!

dont let her comments and attitude throw you. I trust that you know good and well his capabilities and she will have to admit this all at some point. Either the doc notices it or she will go thru several daycares or even schools and some day have to see that his behavior is just not normal. Its very common for parents of delayed or special needs kids to have to get "no's" from multiple daycares before seeing that things have to change and that the parents have to deal with it because caregivers will not put up with that.

I had one more go thru several daycares and not admit her daughters awful behavior. I only lasted one day with this kid and told her right off, this is not going to work. She finally changed things up to be a SAHM and deal with the concerns but that was after her child had been thru several daycare situations.

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I try to imagine what I would feel hearing those things about my own kid. I think that the defensive behavior is pretty instinctual. I am really ALWAYS working toward termination, I guess, by providing parents an e-mail update daily about their child's behavior. If your son hit another child at daycare, you'll hear about it that day, not on term day. This prevents a lot of arguing.

I have two very, very naughty little boys here. Mom knows how bad they are (worst I have EVER seen). Mom has asked if I am kicking them out more than once. The only reason they are still here is because Mom is TRYING-She understands and appreciates what I go through with them. If I called her now and told her I was terming, she'd know why and understand...she wouldn't think of telling me I was wrong. Another provider told me that "parents don't want to hear it" when their kids are bad. I agree that they may not want to hear it, they may think me a bad provider for not being able to control their kids (what the other provider said). I'll take my chances.

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Good for you. I know it's hard to term, especially when you first start off but it's a learning experience and you needed to do what was in your best interest and what the nest interest of your business was ... not to mention the safety of the other children.

What parents don't always understand is that children sometimes show different behavior at home than at daycare. Sometimes (like apparently in my case) they are hellions at home and angels at daycare (I think because I have structure, routine and consistency) and sometimes they are great at home and not so great at daycare. To me it's obvious (but not to some parents) that children that don't need to share at home because they either have their own toys or are single children don't show signs of aggression or possessiveness because they don't have the need to share toys whereas at daycare they have to share the toys with other children, they have to wait their turn, they have to compete for attention etc. I'm not surprised to see aggression at daycare at all, but that still doesn't make it okay.

Seems to me like this DCM was in denial and only wanted to believe what she was seeing and not what you were observing while he was at daycare. All in all you will be less stressed about having to hover over the children to make sure that no one got hurt. My first term was my first client also but after it was done I felt like I had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and that was just because I termed, once they finished off their 2 weeks and the family was gone (my issue was with DCM not with DCB) it was even better.

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Good for you! I hope he gets the care and help he needs, but it was too much for you! As for the refund, I wouldn't offer a refund as you stated you would be willing to have your termination be effective Friday, so if she chooses to not utilize you those days that is her choice. I had a DCM choose to not use my 2 weeks notice and I never gave a refund (I was glad they didn't ask for it, but I would have explained that I don't do refunds and that I was willing to watch the boy those 2 weeks that were paid) I hope things go smoothly when DCM does contact you next.

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Thanks for the support, all! He's back today & has been an outright terror today. I'm wondering if DCM told him to act up, ya know/ I would not be surprised in the least, but hey, now regardless, I owe her nada. Do all leaving kids act worse/ I've been trying to be normal & positive, treating it like any other day, so I don't think I'm having stress rub off. Basically as soon as he walked in, he was amped to not follow any rules and be extremely defiant. So much so, he refused breakfast, which is unusual. Do you guys encounter this a lot/

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I don't necessarily think kids who are leaving act worse but I do know that my tolerance level for kids leave is a lot less than for others.

Seems the light at the end of the tunnel shines so brightly that we are often not aware of how bad a kid's behavior really is until it's "spot lighted" during the final days of care.

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