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  #1  
Old 07-23-2016, 11:22 PM
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Default My Own Child Failed The Two Week Trial Period :'(

Hello everyone, long time no see. A LOT has been going on so here goes...

As most of you know I am a Navy spouse. I have been running and in-home daycare for almost 2 years now. I had my son last year. It was obvious from an early age that something was off. My Pedi recommended seeing an OT. They evaluated him and decided that he needed to see an OT every week for one hour a week for at least 8 months! They were unable to get me an evening time slot and so I have had to shut down early EVERY Monday for the past 5 months...I lost business. ALL OF MY BUSINESS!!! During this time we also had him further evaluated and my son was fully diagnosed as having mild Autism and now has an IFSP. He also goes to Speech once a week now as well as continuing to see the OT. Because of not being able to stay open for normal hours (and losing all my business because of it) I recently decided to leave the daycare business and was able to get my son into a military funded small CDH (three kids only at all times) that also just happened to be only two streets over, I can walk there in less than 10. While I managed to snag a nice position as an ESL assistant teacher at our local community college. Super nice lady. She liked us and we liked her, everything during the interview went great so it seemed like an awesome fit.

I had warned her ahead of time that because I was running my own daycare he had NEVER been with anyone else for care for more than a few hours here and there during appointments and interviews. I let her know that he had issues with sensory, especially texture of foods and fabrics, and also that he would probably have a hard time adjusting at first due to his advanced age. I also let her know that he had an IFSP (she said she would need copies to give to the CDH office). I was not able to get that too her right away because they were still finalizing our 'goals' and reaching out for additional services. She assured me that she had worked with kids before who had sensory needs and also expected it might take some time for him to get used to mommy not being near. Sooo for his first week we agreed that he would just come for a few hours each day and then slowly extend the day. I managed to get hired on as a teacher and wouldn't be starting till August 22nd so we (at this time) still had about 6 weeks to get him used to care.

His first day was a Wednesday and he cried and wailed (as expected) and she called me after 3 hours to come get him. His second day he cried and wailed (again as expected) and she called me after 1.5hrs. His third day (Friday last week)...called after 1hr. Weekend went by and so this past week:
Monday - 1.5hrs
Tuesday- 45 minutes
Wednesday- 2hrs
Thursday - 40 minutes
Friday - 30 minutes, "The two week trial period is now up and I just don't think this is going to work. I'm sorry. Usually by now I can get them to 'click' with the rest of us."

So, after gracefully accepting her decision...and then going home to cry it out since I have NO other options for affordable care, I'm sitting here wondering if I should have asked for more time? I've kept kids for MUCH longer than this...especially when they are older...and it has taken them up to a month or two to adjust. I'm just...I have no idea what to think. After assuring me it would be fine, that she had experience, that all would be good...he was only there for EIGHT DAYS!!! He started halfway through that first week! So I had to have a good cry as I told the school that I would not be able to work for them after all....because my son was kicked out of daycare due to non-adjustment. I'm just...I have no words. I had just picked up my ID card and affixed my parking decal to my vehicle. I was so hopeful and so excited! I'm sorry. I guess I really just needed a place to vent. I just felt she should have tried to wait it out a bit longer...to give it more time...on Thursday I had only just brought him some laminated pictures and his lovie from home to keep with him. This just doesn't seem like it was enough time to truly test considering his advanced age and special needs.

If you read this far on, thank you so much for listening!
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  #2  
Old 07-24-2016, 03:12 AM
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I'm so sorry. I can see a trial period of 2 weeks and possibly extending it to a month if there is a glimmer of hope. Must be your son cried the whole time? That would be difficult from both sides of the situation.

As a former provider yourself, you know each provider's stress points are different, what each provider can offer is different, and each dc group is as different as fingerprints. To me, it didn't look good when she was calling every single day for pick-up, even though she said she'd dealt with issues similar to your son's before. I've dealt with all kinds of issues, we all have, but it still matters how they fit into the group and how the provider is handling that specific group.

Better to know now. I hope and pray you can find another option. You must feel discouraged but take from this situation what you can, learn from it and build on it, and go from there. Not much else you can do because I feel if you ended up begging for more time it would end up being more of the same.
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Old 07-24-2016, 06:13 AM
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Default Don't give up

I feel bad for you and can personally relate to your disappointment and level of stress from this situation. My son cried and it took him months to adjust to a center because he had only been with one home daycare and only certain family members. He also had a significant speech delay and hearing issues and an IFSP upon enrollment to a center. They worked with us for 3 months and I pulled him because he wasn't adjusting. The director explained that legally with an IFSP they had to offer an extended period of time to adjust and that they may need to modify some things within his day to assist with adjusting. I felt bad for my son and the staff because of his constant crying and I gave in. When he started preschool in a public school it was the same thing. He screamed from the moment he woke up until about 1.5 hrs before pick up, for several months. Anytime there was a vacation or he missed a day due to illness it was like starting over. I really thought something was wrong with him. I stuck with it though and he finally adjusted and now he's heading to 2nd grade! Anyways I just wanted to share that so you know you're not alone. If at all possible I would try drop in care somewhere for a consistent amount of days and hours per week to try and get him acclimated to being cared for by others. I also would've thought the trial period would've been extended due to the honesty and information provided by you. Although to me it seems as if the provider wasn't fully prepared to handle the situation since calls for early pick up were daily. I. My opinion this sets a standard of expectations from the child to get picked up early if they continue to cry and it doesn't encourage them to try and work it out, nor does it show the provider is able to handle it. I know we all have breaking points though and respect the provider for calling for pick up prior to reaching a breaking point. I just feel like more time was needed. Good luck and don't give up, you still have plenty of time.
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Old 07-24-2016, 07:36 AM
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I really wish I had advice, but but I don't. Hopefully you can find a place where he can adjust. I do think the calling for pick up daily shows you that it really wasn't the best fit for him though. Does the college you will be working for have a daycare program that he can get into? Many do since they have early childhood education programs.
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Old 07-24-2016, 07:52 AM
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Is he puking when he cries?
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Old 07-24-2016, 09:01 AM
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How old is your son? At this point, with the care that he needs, I might just make some sacrifices and stay at home until he is at school. Help him become adjusted as much as possible, attend play groups, do whatever is suggested, so that he can have a great start in school. Then you can work.

It's not an easy solution, but you have to remember that if your son is screaming, it's a stressful situation for him, too.
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Old 07-24-2016, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
How old is your son? At this point, with the care that he needs, I might just make some sacrifices and stay at home until he is at school. Help him become adjusted as much as possible, attend play groups, do whatever is suggested, so that he can have a great start in school. Then you can work.

It's not an easy solution, but you have to remember that if your son is screaming, it's a stressful situation for him, too.
Unfortunately, I agree here. I've been on the parent and provider side of this issue. When my daughter was a young toddler, I couldn't even leave her with certain family members. She'd scream until I picked her up.

Even when you do allow a longer trial period, it is still tough for some kids to handle the change. The upside is that it tends to get better as verbal and social skills improve. By the time my daughter was around 3, I was able to leave her at preschool.

In the meantime, if you need to work financially, family daycare can still be a viable option. It would mean hiring someone to come in once a week to cover you for appointments to balance work/family.
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Old 07-24-2016, 10:20 AM
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My son (who is now 4) needed ot/pt/and speech (once he turned 2 yrs old and wasn't talking) when he was younger. Our local birth to three program offered in home visits with their therapists which I cleared with licensing and then told parents. I had a great group if parents and they all had been with me since before my son was born, so they were all very supportive.

We started when my son was 6 months and stopped when he aged out. Once aged out my son qualified for special education pre-k class at a local elementary school where he continues his therapies.

Is there any birth to 3 program like this in your area? Ours is run by ACCA.
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Old 07-24-2016, 10:24 AM
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Also, there are none profites in town that can pick up individuals (including kids) and take them to their doctor appointments And therapies. Your child's Doctor or maybe a local children's doctor should be able to help you find them.
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:16 PM
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Is he puking when he cries?
No he does not puke. When I went to pick him up though I could hear him through the door. It was one of those whiney, whimpering cries...the kind a kid does when he has hurt himself (not saying he WAS hurt or that she hurt him, just that that is what it sounded like) and it IS an annoying sound. I was just hopeful that she would try for longer given his situation
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Thriftylady View Post
I really wish I had advice, but but I don't. Hopefully you can find a place where he can adjust. I do think the calling for pick up daily shows you that it really wasn't the best fit for him though. Does the college you will be working for have a daycare program that he can get into? Many do since they have early childhood education programs.
Unfortunately they do not since I was only working for 25hrs a week as a part time appointment. The main reason I aimed for part-time work only was because I knew he might need shorter hours in care to get used to it so I was only going to be scheduled for 5 hours a day at most. My peers already knew about my sons IFSP and his appointments and were willing to work around them.
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
How old is your son? At this point, with the care that he needs, I might just make some sacrifices and stay at home until he is at school. Help him become adjusted as much as possible, attend play groups, do whatever is suggested, so that he can have a great start in school. Then you can work.

It's not an easy solution, but you have to remember that if your son is screaming, it's a stressful situation for him, too.
I have looked into some playgroups over the weekend and found one that meets daily nearby. So I have signed up for that. I can also utilize drop in care at the on-base CDC the problem is that it most likely won't be often because it fills us SUPER fast so that might not work out. I've only ever been able to get him in three times for just 2hrs at a time and he did fine at those which is why I was so confused over this. :/ I talked it over with my husband and he agrees with ya'lls opinions and that I just need to keep working it from home for a while longer. I'm going to re-open daycare for at least part-time and hourly care since his evening appointments really do make it so I can't stay open.
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:23 PM
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My son (who is now 4) needed ot/pt/and speech (once he turned 2 yrs old and wasn't talking) when he was younger. Our local birth to three program offered in home visits with their therapists which I cleared with licensing and then told parents. I had a great group if parents and they all had been with me since before my son was born, so they were all very supportive.

We started when my son was 6 months and stopped when he aged out. Once aged out my son qualified for special education pre-k class at a local elementary school where he continues his therapies.

Is there any birth to 3 program like this in your area? Ours is run by ACCA.
Yes we are currently utilizing our local options but since we are military and live in military housing we have to get special approvals for in-home visits etc. they have to make sure any providers are approved for at least part of the Tricare insurance and have access to base facilities etc. the approval process can take a very long time and it is not um-common to be denied the in-home visits unless you have significant needs. We are going to look into it though.
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:46 PM
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Can you find someone to come into your home to watch him while you are at work?
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Old 07-24-2016, 05:50 PM
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Can you find someone to come into your home to watch him while you are at work?
I can't afford to have a nanny nor can I afford to hire extra help. I live in military housing and we are only allowed to keep 3 kids max no matter what our license says (license allows up to 8) and being in CA they have crazy strict laws about hiring employees...if anyone you hire makes more than $100 a month you have to provide employee benefits etc. it's insane. I'm just going to offer part time care only and hourly care.
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Old 07-24-2016, 07:32 PM
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I can't afford to have a nanny nor can I afford to hire extra help. I live in military housing and we are only allowed to keep 3 kids max no matter what our license says (license allows up to 8) and being in CA they have crazy strict laws about hiring employees...if anyone you hire makes more than $100 a month you have to provide employee benefits etc. it's insane. I'm just going to offer part time care only and hourly care.
In California, benefits aren't required for employees unless you have more than 50 employees. The new laws for sick leave wouldn't be a factor for you either since the employee wouldn't work enough hours to earn any. I had 2 employees. I used execupay and they handled my employee taxes.

My employees cost me their hourly wage plus about about $1 extra an hour in employee taxes. The downside of having even "temporary" or "substitute" employees is that you have to still have to have workman's comp. (cost is $600-$1000 annually on average)

If you have any trouble finding part-timers, it may be something worrty looking into.
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Old 07-24-2016, 09:27 PM
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In California, benefits aren't required for employees unless you have more than 50 employees. The new laws for sick leave wouldn't be a factor for you either since the employee wouldn't work enough hours to earn any. I had 2 employees. I used execupay and they handled my employee taxes.

My employees cost me their hourly wage plus about about $1 extra an hour in employee taxes. The downside of having even "temporary" or "substitute" employees is that you have to still have to have workman's comp. (cost is $600-$1000 annually on average)

If you have any trouble finding part-timers, it may be something worrty looking into.
Ah, that's probably were I got confused. The workman's comp stuff! It's just too hard for me to figure out. What I've decided might be best is to see about offering non-traditional hours...like during deployments I could offer weekend care/over night, I also thought I could offer early morning care so that I could open earlier/close earlier but still get in those full time hours for my rate. So I was looking at opening from 4am to 2pm that way I could leave out to appointments by 2:30 and get there on time...assuming the parents are there on time LOL. It just means I'll be going to bed with the baby at 7pm instead of staying up LOL! But that would probably be healthier for my anyway!
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Old 07-25-2016, 02:48 AM
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Hmmm, he's done fine at other places but not this particular place? I don't think your son failed anything; I have a feeling it was more like the dcprovider failed him and she didn't give it enough effort. Dynamics are different everywhere, personalities and temperaments clash certainly. But after she said all she did about working with challenging behaviors before, either these through her for a major loop or she was bs'ing to get you in the door.
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Old 07-25-2016, 04:53 AM
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Have you thought about trying to get your son a regular spot at the CDc? I'm working at my third CDC (due to PCS's) and my twins have attended CDC's and are at the youth center now. One has mild autism and both programs have gone above and beyond. You can have speech pathologists and occupational therapists do sessions at the center. There are MFLAC's (don't remember what the acronym stands for) that are therapists that are available to caregivers, children and parents, training and curriculum specialists and the other support offices on base that are available for the center. i know he would have been kicked out of most civilian centers because of all the work needed to get him comfortable in his surroundings.

But you have the right idea on working non traditional hours for a FCC. Does your base have personnel that work shifts? I know that every base is basically begging for FCC providers that are willing to do overnights to help support shift workers.
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Old 07-25-2016, 08:42 AM
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Do you have a special needs preschool in your area? When my (high functioning) autistic son got to be too much for my in home provider, I enrolled him in a special needs preschool. He couldn't tolerate full weeks, so I ended up working evenings and he attended there T/TH so that I could take dd to dialysis.
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Old 07-25-2016, 01:39 PM
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Yes we are currently utilizing our local options but since we are military and live in military housing we have to get special approvals for in-home visits etc. they have to make sure any providers are approved for at least part of the Tricare insurance and have access to base facilities etc. the approval process can take a very long time and it is not um-common to be denied the in-home visits unless you have significant needs. We are going to look into it though.
My friend is military with a 6yo high needs/ low functioning autistic son. Watching her go through the process to get all his services approved and paid for you rough. It took time and tenacity but once the paperwork and wait lists were done with - he is receiving great care. Hope your son's needed services are mad available to you as soon as possible. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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Old 07-25-2016, 08:35 PM
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I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.
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Old 07-26-2016, 12:09 PM
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I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.
I agree and have a 4 week period.

ETA: I think you have gotten some great suggestions but I just wanted to chime in and suggest that it sounds like it wasn't a good fit. For either party. Are there other places you can check out?
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Old 07-26-2016, 12:33 PM
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I'm so sorry. I never understood the 2 week trial because IME it takes over a month for a child to really relax and "be themselves" with you. Before that it's all "best behavior" (or "better behavior") while they're figuring you out.
I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.
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Old 07-26-2016, 12:41 PM
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I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.
Me, too.
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Old 07-26-2016, 09:31 PM
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Hmmm, he's done fine at other places but not this particular place? I don't think your son failed anything; I have a feeling it was more like the dcprovider failed him and she didn't give it enough effort. Dynamics are different everywhere, personalities and temperaments clash certainly. But after she said all she did about working with challenging behaviors before, either these through her for a major loop or she was bs'ing to get you in the door.
No sorry, I guess I wasn't clear...he hasn't been anywhere for longer than a few hours here and there for hourly care...otherwise he has ALWAYS been with me so I knew it would be rough on him. As a provider I had worked with children before he moaned and cried and screamed and eventually with some prodding and patience they got through it. Some it would only take the few weeks and others it took longer. So I guess I was just disappointed that she didn't try harder I guess since she knew I used to be a full time provider myself :/
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Old 07-26-2016, 09:35 PM
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Have you thought about trying to get your son a regular spot at the CDc? I'm working at my third CDC (due to PCS's) and my twins have attended CDC's and are at the youth center now. One has mild autism and both programs have gone above and beyond. You can have speech pathologists and occupational therapists do sessions at the center. There are MFLAC's (don't remember what the acronym stands for) that are therapists that are available to caregivers, children and parents, training and curriculum specialists and the other support offices on base that are available for the center. i know he would have been kicked out of most civilian centers because of all the work needed to get him comfortable in his surroundings.

But you have the right idea on working non traditional hours for a FCC. Does your base have personnel that work shifts? I know that every base is basically begging for FCC providers that are willing to do overnights to help support shift workers.
Yes but the waitlist are all full, we are in San Diego and everyone is on the waitlist basically. I'm not an official military provider, I'm state licensed only so I don't get support through that. I applied to become a CDH (we are Navy) but the background checks take forever and it's been going on 2 YEARS since I put in for my background check and fingerprints and they still haven't gotten back to me....I call, I email...I've even gone to the office several time and still nothing. They just keep telling me "we will call when we hear something"....so I've pretty much given up on that idea.
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Old 07-27-2016, 06:32 AM
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No sorry, I guess I wasn't clear...he hasn't been anywhere for longer than a few hours here and there for hourly care...otherwise he has ALWAYS been with me so I knew it would be rough on him. As a provider I had worked with children before he moaned and cried and screamed and eventually with some prodding and patience they got through it. Some it would only take the few weeks and others it took longer. So I guess I was just disappointed that she didn't try harder I guess since she knew I used to be a full time provider myself :/

I'm stuck on this (bolded) as you've said that more than once now...

Did you know the trial period was two weeks? If so, WHY do you feel she should have tried longer or stuck it out longer? If she said her trial period was 2 weeks and you agreed, then that's exactly what happened.

If you felt your child would need longer to adjust, that's something I would have discussed with her immediately upon addressing a trial period and again as the trial period had progressed as your child was not getting better or improving at all.

Did she at any time make it sound like he was getting better?

It sounds like based on the time line you posted...he showed signs of getting worse, not better.

I understand that you, as a previous provider have a unique perspective but at the same time like any other parent...this is not the providers fault. She provided what she agreed to provide. A 2 week trial period. Your child did not adjust so she decided not to enroll. I see nothing wrong with that.

I do, however feel badly for you and understand as a parent. (I am a child care provider because my own child never adjusted to any program.)

I do hope you are able to figure out work/care solutions that work in the best interest of your family.
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Old 07-27-2016, 08:46 AM
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I have a "standard" two week trial period but I have added additional time for a child that was on their way to adjusting but I've also shortened it too because sometimes you just know right away that things aren't going to work out.

For me personally, when it comes to crying kids that aren't used to being in care or away from their parents...they are the hardest for me to manage/deal with. I swear I have a form of PTSD from dealing with some really bad experiences with all day criers or kids that cry for long periods of time.

An hour is only 60 minutes but listening to a kid cry for 60 minutes is a life time of torture sometimes.


My youngest was enrolled part time elsewhere to get used to being away from me. I did that intentionally because as a provider, I KNEW what I was setting him up for when he finally did have to go to school.
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:58 PM
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Nisaryn,

Are you in San Diego or San Diego County? If it is the county, can you tell me what city? I may be able to locate a full-day California State Preschool Program in your area for you. Of course, you would have to see if you qualify based on income and family size (you might be surprised how much you can earn and still qualify). I am actually in San Diego right now as I conducted training for new state preschool programs and visited sites this week for reviews, and have visited some amazing sites! Might be one close to you
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Old 07-27-2016, 04:59 PM
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Also, if it is San Diego, can you provide a general idea of where? You can PM me if you'd like.
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Old 07-27-2016, 06:34 PM
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I realize that you might not see this as a good suggestion...but I know that in your situation, having been a veteran of IFSP, EI, and now EIPs, I personally would go back to having your own daycare, take the appointments that work for you, and wait for time slots that work for you for other services. Decline services (don't decline the assessments or goals if possible, just decline less appointments) that don't fit in your schedule. I don't mean to be rude, but what they offer is often not so truly helpful that it's worth upending your life for it.

DD was in Sped pre-k for two years. I know that it was a great environment and all that. But I never knew what was going on. On the last day of her second year (when she had just turned five), I came in and met with her speech person, who explained more to me about how to work with her at home. Now, she has distance ed speech (we homeschool) and I work with her.

I could go on and on about how to work with your LO at home. But also, when he turns three and can get into sped pre-k, if it's like here, they will come TO YOUR HOME and bus him to the location and back.

I'm not even saying everything I want to say. It's just not worth upending your life for what they do. You CAN learn how to do most of what they do.
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Old 07-27-2016, 06:36 PM
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Here's a link to the facebook group called Special Needs Homeschool. These parents are a wealth of information. True veterans (the other kind, lol).

https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedshomeschool/
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  #34  
Old 07-27-2016, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I'm stuck on this (bolded) as you've said that more than once now...

Did you know the trial period was two weeks? If so, WHY do you feel she should have tried longer or stuck it out longer? If she said her trial period was 2 weeks and you agreed, then that's exactly what happened.

If you felt your child would need longer to adjust, that's something I would have discussed with her immediately upon addressing a trial period and again as the trial period had progressed as your child was not getting better or improving at all.

Did she at any time make it sound like he was getting better?

It sounds like based on the time line you posted...he showed signs of getting worse, not better.

I understand that you, as a previous provider have a unique perspective but at the same time like any other parent...this is not the providers fault. She provided what she agreed to provide. A 2 week trial period. Your child did not adjust so she decided not to enroll. I see nothing wrong with that.

I do, however feel badly for you and understand as a parent. (I am a child care provider because my own child never adjusted to any program.)

I do hope you are able to figure out work/care solutions that work in the best interest of your family.
Yes I knew she had a two week period, I agreed to that. So I understand your argument and agree with it too. But he didn't even actually attend a full two weeks I guess is why I'm a bit upset. He started on a Wednesday the first week because I had to get the military paperwork signed by notary etc. before he could start. So he technically was only there for 8 days. So I hoped she would give us those two extra days to see if he adjusted a little better but that next week (giving him almost what seems like 3 weeks then). She had said that she worked with kids with difficulties before and that she had gone past the two weeks trial period before and we could discuss it once the time care sooooooo I had hoped she would but obviously she chose not. But its OK, I've gotten over my initial upset. It just wasn't a good fit!
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  #35  
Old 07-27-2016, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
I realize that you might not see this as a good suggestion...but I know that in your situation, having been a veteran of IFSP, EI, and now EIPs, I personally would go back to having your own daycare, take the appointments that work for you, and wait for time slots that work for you for other services. Decline services (don't decline the assessments or goals if possible, just decline less appointments) that don't fit in your schedule. I don't mean to be rude, but what they offer is often not so truly helpful that it's worth upending your life for it.

DD was in Sped pre-k for two years. I know that it was a great environment and all that. But I never knew what was going on. On the last day of her second year (when she had just turned five), I came in and met with her speech person, who explained more to me about how to work with her at home. Now, she has distance ed speech (we homeschool) and I work with her.

I could go on and on about how to work with your LO at home. But also, when he turns three and can get into sped pre-k, if it's like here, they will come TO YOUR HOME and bus him to the location and back.

I'm not even saying everything I want to say. It's just not worth upending your life for what they do. You CAN learn how to do most of what they do.
Actually no thank you so much, and for the FB link as well! Since we are so new to this, and with hubby deployed I'm dealing with it all on my own, I simply have NO IDEA what to do or where to go or anything. I'm actually just relieved that I wasn't crazy, seeing things, or being overly observant etc. For a while there I tried to ignore all the warning signs and kept telling myself...he's still little, he just needs time. I have decided to continue daycare though. I am going to offer more drop in care options and part-time care till I can get into the swing of things though.
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  #36  
Old 07-27-2016, 10:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal View Post
Nisaryn,

Are you in San Diego or San Diego County? If it is the county, can you tell me what city? I may be able to locate a full-day California State Preschool Program in your area for you. Of course, you would have to see if you qualify based on income and family size (you might be surprised how much you can earn and still qualify). I am actually in San Diego right now as I conducted training for new state preschool programs and visited sites this week for reviews, and have visited some amazing sites! Might be one close to you
I sent you a PM we are in San Diego city area, but he isn't old enough for preschool. He just turned 18 months old so he is still a little guy.
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Old 07-28-2016, 06:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Nisaryn View Post
Yes we are currently utilizing our local options but since we are military and live in military housing we have to get special approvals for in-home visits etc. they have to make sure any providers are approved for at least part of the Tricare insurance and have access to base facilities etc. the approval process can take a very long time and it is not um-common to be denied the in-home visits unless you have significant needs. We are going to look into it though.
They told you this applies to early intervention? If so, that's completely bizarre for three reasons.

1.). Once determined eligible, you're child has a right to those federally funded services.

2.) Early intervention is supposed to be conducted in the child's natural enrivonment, unless there is a very good reason not to. Natural environment for under three is almost always defined as home for under 3. (Idea: 303.126) That's federal law.

3.) Early intervention teachers or "specialists," a typical member of the team, could never be part of the tri care. They aren't health care professionals. SLPs, OTs, and PTs could be, but they probably wouldn't if they are working for a private agency. (This is just based on my experience working for a few private agencies in central CA)

My understanding is that military only provides their own early intervention staff overseas. It makes no sense to me that they would make it difficult for their members to access much needed services and knowingly violate federal law by not allowing the services to take place in the home. For many of these little ones, services just aren't as effective outside the home. I hope you can work it out with them.
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  #38  
Old 09-12-2016, 11:25 PM
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Wanted to update you all, my son has now been through TWO daycare providers...he just won't adjust. Lots of trembling, crying, shaking. Won't eat, won't sleep. I had an interview for another, larger, daycare provider but she got wind of our situation when she asked about our previous providers and a few days later told me flat-out that she didn't think she could handle it either so we never even made it to the interview. So I have basically given up on that idea for now.

As for my daycare, I am doing part-time and drop-in only care so I can continue to make a little income. I am unable to open full time because all his appointments are now on Mondays and on Tuesday evenings at odd times. My husband is weird about hiring people to be in our home without one of us present. He simply will not have it, it's just part of how he grew up and being military minded so getting an assistant is out of the question.

We have not been able to get in-home services as they do not feel he qualifies for in-home only because they have limited resources and his case isn't serious enough to need it. Right now his major issue is a Speech Delay and the only reason he is getting services is because of this since Sensory Processing Disorder on its own does NOT count as a disability and they have since cleared him of any and all Autism (they originally suspected he was on the Spectrum).

Right now I am in the process of getting him enrolled in the military EFMP program as I only just got a paper copy of the IFSP, that in itself took more than the allotted 45 days to get to me...so that irks me. I only just starting filling out the paperwork but my sons Pediatrician, while in our network, is NOT a military provider himself and I'm pretty sure we are his ONLY military family. When I showed him the EFMP paperwork he had no idea what to fill out or how to do it so I'm back to square one on that and am looking for a military Pedi. Because of his chronic constipation we are also seeing a GE Doc. next week as he was prescribed Miralax to help out until then.

On the plus side, going to the OT has greatly improved his eating habits. He has started to allow some fruits into his diet...peaches, apples, and even ate some broccoli. He has decided that Teriyaki chicken is amazing and has had it 3 times this month (a miracle for us since he will usually only eat something new 1x a month or less). We are working on getting him to try pears and eat broccoli again. He ate some lasagna last week, onions and all which was another small miracle. He still enjoys his pasta/breads but I'm happy to see him starting to add to his diet.
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Old 09-13-2016, 05:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisaryn View Post
Wanted to update you all, my son has now been through TWO daycare providers...he just won't adjust. Lots of trembling, crying, shaking. Won't eat, won't sleep. I had an interview for another, larger, daycare provider but she got wind of our situation when she asked about our previous providers and a few days later told me flat-out that she didn't think she could handle it either so we never even made it to the interview. So I have basically given up on that idea for now.

As for my daycare, I am doing part-time and drop-in only care so I can continue to make a little income. I am unable to open full time because all his appointments are now on Mondays and on Tuesday evenings at odd times. My husband is weird about hiring people to be in our home without one of us present. He simply will not have it, it's just part of how he grew up and being military minded so getting an assistant is out of the question.

We have not been able to get in-home services as they do not feel he qualifies for in-home only because they have limited resources and his case isn't serious enough to need it. Right now his major issue is a Speech Delay and the only reason he is getting services is because of this since Sensory Processing Disorder on its own does NOT count as a disability and they have since cleared him of any and all Autism (they originally suspected he was on the Spectrum).

Right now I am in the process of getting him enrolled in the military EFMP program as I only just got a paper copy of the IFSP, that in itself took more than the allotted 45 days to get to me...so that irks me. I only just starting filling out the paperwork but my sons Pediatrician, while in our network, is NOT a military provider himself and I'm pretty sure we are his ONLY military family. When I showed him the EFMP paperwork he had no idea what to fill out or how to do it so I'm back to square one on that and am looking for a military Pedi. Because of his chronic constipation we are also seeing a GE Doc. next week as he was prescribed Miralax to help out until then.

On the plus side, going to the OT has greatly improved his eating habits. He has started to allow some fruits into his diet...peaches, apples, and even ate some broccoli. He has decided that Teriyaki chicken is amazing and has had it 3 times this month (a miracle for us since he will usually only eat something new 1x a month or less). We are working on getting him to try pears and eat broccoli again. He ate some lasagna last week, onions and all which was another small miracle. He still enjoys his pasta/breads but I'm happy to see him starting to add to his diet.
The military EDIS are subject to the same federal rules that I would be working for a school district. Your child has identified needs and the right, by law, to have services in his natural environment. (Home) And they have missed the 45 day deadline?

In your shoes, I would ask the grievance procedures for EDIS. Tell them they can authorize the home services that you have through EI or pay for their own. The hoops they are asking you to jump through are rediculous.
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Old 09-13-2016, 05:38 AM
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I agree with the PP, I have worked in early intervention and have never heard of a family being denied home visits! If he qualifies for an IFSP he has a right to visits in his natural environment. I would fight this. Do your research, use buzz words to catch their attention and do it via email so you have a paper trail. Missing deadlines is a big no no, enough to get a person fired where I used to work!
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