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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Calling Parents To Pick Up Child?
sahdaycaremom 06:20 AM 12-29-2010
Have you ever or would you ever call a parent to pick up their child because of behaver? I have a 4 yr dcg who in the 1 1/2 hours she has been here today, kick, hit, scream poke other kids. Kicked me when I put her in time out! Since she has started with me she has always had her good and bad days. But never like this. Any suggestions would be much appreciated!! Thanks
Crystal 06:33 AM 12-29-2010
No, I wouldn't. To the parent it will seem as though you cannot handle the "job" of caring for their child. Document the behavior, discuss it with the parent at pick-up time, discuss a plan of action with parent for correcting the behavior, give it a set amount of time to improve DRAMATICALLY and within that time, if it doesn't improve, be prepared to let the child go. If you can get the parent on board, it should get better. If the parent has her head in the sand regarding her child's behavior, expect it to get worse.
melskids 06:36 AM 12-29-2010
i agree with crystal. i wouldnt call either.
she would sit her little behind in a chair for the day with nothing to do but color or a puzzle though. she wouldnt be allowed to play with the other kids.
she would sit her little behind in a chair for the day with nothing to do but color or a puzzle though. she wouldnt be allowed to play with the other kids.
jen 06:41 AM 12-29-2010
I wouldn't call. I would say, "Oh my, you must be so tired to be acting this way. You are usually so nice to all of your friends. I think it's time to take a little nap and see if you are feeling better when you wake up. Good night sweetie..."
Lather, rinse, repeat...
Lather, rinse, repeat...
laundrymom 06:42 AM 12-29-2010
Agree with the others. She would sit until she left.
momma2girls 06:50 AM 12-29-2010
I agree, she wouldn't be up playing til she acted better. Otherwise she would be sitting seperately from all the other children.
DanceMom 07:24 AM 12-29-2010
Agree with Crystal also, I would put her in/on her cot away from the other kids for a rest time until she can act better. I would gate her in an area if she kept getting up.
If my kids act up, they get a time out, if they do it again they have to go lay down for alone time.
If my kids act up, they get a time out, if they do it again they have to go lay down for alone time.
marniewon 08:01 AM 12-29-2010
Yep, agree here. Separation until she can behave. If she still can't behave, nap time.
Unregistered 08:45 AM 12-29-2010
I would surely call the parent to pick up her child and for her not to come back her hitting YOU is cause to terminate with no 2 week notice I only have had 1 daycare girl ever hit me she was mad because I told her to go to time out and she yelled no and smacked my arm she went to time out and sat there till her Mom came to get her and the Mom was told verbally and in a written term letter she could not return I do NOT ever put up with a kid hitting an adult.
nannyde 01:15 PM 12-29-2010
Not only would I call the parents to come get her but today would be the last day she was ever in my home.
I have 31 years of caring for kids and never ONCE has a kid raised their hand to me. If she felt comfortable enough hitting me it would mean she was unstable and wouldn't work in my program.
These kids know on a PRIMAL level to not get physical with me.
You can have a zero tolerance policy for violence. It's your business. It would be different if she were under the age of two and not able to communicate. She's FOUR which is WAY WAY WAY too old to be comfortable hitting an adult. She had to have had a LOT of practice doing that in her four years of life to do it to you today.
I have 31 years of caring for kids and never ONCE has a kid raised their hand to me. If she felt comfortable enough hitting me it would mean she was unstable and wouldn't work in my program.
These kids know on a PRIMAL level to not get physical with me.
You can have a zero tolerance policy for violence. It's your business. It would be different if she were under the age of two and not able to communicate. She's FOUR which is WAY WAY WAY too old to be comfortable hitting an adult. She had to have had a LOT of practice doing that in her four years of life to do it to you today.
JeepGirl6 01:24 PM 12-29-2010
I would wait until the parent picked up and talk to them about her behavior and tell them that it is not tolerated. In the past month I have also had a child like that. I spoke with the parents 5 different occasions about the child's behavior, they really didn't know what to say so the mother wanted me to discipline in ways I did not believe in or agree with so we had disagreements, so with her disrespecting my home and me, I terminated because the child was not getting any better and due to the mothers actions. Now I am taking the parents to small claims because she canceled her check for my child care services... He pulled my hair, kicked, hit and would run laughing because he thought it was hilarious, along with the other children, though he is younger than the 4 year old girl, he knew exactly what he was doing...In a day care center they only give 3 strikes and they are terminated.
Cat Herder 01:35 PM 12-29-2010
IMHO a four year old child who felt comfortable enough to hit an adult would be a huge red flag. 
Do they see this behavior at home? Are they allowed this behavior at home?
As a provider I would not want that child in my home. Just a fact. As a mother I would be horrified to be told my child, at that age, hit an adult. HORRIFIED!!!!
At 12-16 months I see it from time to time. Not usually hitting me, but the parents at pick-up. I always tell them to get it under control quick since I cannot allow violence of any kind here.
I hope Mom looks shocked and apologizes profusely to you. That tells me she will have it handled by morning.
If she even so much as asks "what did you do to cause it"....send her packing!!!!.....this is a sign of a "no-parenting" parent and your nightmare is about to begin. 
Do they see this behavior at home? Are they allowed this behavior at home? As a provider I would not want that child in my home. Just a fact. As a mother I would be horrified to be told my child, at that age, hit an adult. HORRIFIED!!!!
At 12-16 months I see it from time to time. Not usually hitting me, but the parents at pick-up. I always tell them to get it under control quick since I cannot allow violence of any kind here.
I hope Mom looks shocked and apologizes profusely to you. That tells me she will have it handled by morning.
If she even so much as asks "what did you do to cause it"....send her packing!!!!.....this is a sign of a "no-parenting" parent and your nightmare is about to begin.
nannyde 02:24 PM 12-29-2010
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I always tell them to get it under control quick since I cannot allow violence of any kind here.
YesI always tell them to get it under control quick since I cannot allow violence of any kind here.
When a child feels free to hit an adult it means their world as they know it needs to come to a screetching HALT and their behavior becomes the FIRST priority over everything else in their lives. Even if it means a parent has to quit work, do therapy, have in home counselling... WHATEVER it takes.
It's a terrible sign for the future. What's even scarier is the idea that it should be worked on in an in home setting. That level of poor behavior should NOT be worked on in a group setting.
sahm2three 05:00 PM 12-29-2010
I wouldn't. I have had some really really bad behavior, and I guess I would just show her who was boss! Make her sit at the kitchen table all day. Give her some towels to fold, tupperware to stack, etc. I would get out my beads and have the trouble kids sort beads into like piles. Good luck, but I would just remove her from the group and make sure she knows that she had to be removed because it is not ok to hurt other people. Hang in there!
Preschool/daycare teacher 06:43 PM 12-29-2010
We have a 3 strikes and you're out policy. Although it's much easier to say that in a written policy, but actually following through with it, and doing it is another story. We deal with similiar behavior quite often, but we haven't done the 3 strikes with them. Only one has actually gotten physical with us, but we're pretty used to it by now. We should have done some stern talking with his parents the very first time he even acted like he would kick or hit us, and reminded them of the 3 strikes policy, but he does it so often now, we wouldn't even know how to explain to his parents. They'd think it was something he'd just picked up from another child or something. So, my point is, I wouldn't send her home the first time, maybe, but I would talk to her parents and explain how you will not tolerate it. Should it happen again, they will be called and she won't be able to return for one day (usually that will make them realize how serious you are and that they need to "take care of that behavior"), then the 3rd time they'll be called to pick her up right then and not to return at all. No two week notice or anything. If it's not dealt with now, imagine what she'll be like as she becomes more comfortable with being physical with you. No one is going to put up with a 4 yr old hitting or kicking them or the children in their care if they really care more about the children than the money. What would that be teaching the 4 yr old? A time out for hitting, so I'll kick ms x and get another time out. no biggie. What happens if I do more? nothing because there's nothing they can do about it besides a time out... this is good entertainment!