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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Know if There is Hearing Loss
Country Kids 01:01 PM 05-30-2012
I have a little one that I think has some hearing issues. Have spoke my concern to the parents as some others have.

The child cannot be quiet as in tone wise. Everything is either very loud, screaming or screaching! I honestly have notice that my own hearing isn't as good since taking this child on. They have been here almost two years. When its naptime, the child can't whisper talk but can only talk loudly. At the table when we are eating they literally yell yell over everyone to talk.

The child is three and just within the last 6 months started talking but seems to have trouble with making words.

Yes, I have suggested early intervention, having the hearing checked and the speech checked. They are hoping the child outgrows it.

I'm really struggling with the loudness because now that we go outside they are even louder it seems.

Anyone have any suggestions?
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SilverSabre25 01:08 PM 05-30-2012
I'm interested in watching this thread; I had one little boy (who left recently ) who I was pretty sure had some hearing issues, and my 3 yo dcg I've been wondering about. She doesn't seem to actually listen to all of what you tell her...she seems to only get parts of it and acts on those parts. For instance, I told her today, "Please turn the volume down" after she turned a toy louder and she looked at me and set the toy down on the floor. That's just one example though.
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Country Kids 05:44 AM 05-31-2012
Just bumping back up
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daycare123 05:57 AM 05-31-2012
Has this child had many ear infections? I wonder why the parents don't want to have him checked out and just hoping he outgrows it? I have a 3yr old that is extremely loud also but i think that his is due to the fact that he is excessively hyper all the time!!
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KayB 06:33 AM 05-31-2012
Here are things you can do to see (from personal experience)
1. Try talking to him in a normal voice with his back toward you while he is playing.
2. Cover your mouth with a paper and instruct him to do something. Both sitting at the table (one on one) also when he is playing.
3. Get flash cards of pictures out and have them tell you what they are.
4. Go to another room and call for him.
I am not sure how it is in your state but you could probably call ECI yourself and see what kind of help you can get him if he does show signs of hearing loss. HTH!
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countrymom 07:06 AM 05-31-2012
I have noticed that children who have speech issues are very loud. If he goes for speech therapy they usually send them for a hearing test first. Also, if they have had alot of ear infections, they should be checked (or it can be alot of ear wax) I have a dcb who I think has some hearing loss and its because he has so much ear wax and ear infections, but mom won't do anything. But when I have to yell all day for him to respond then I know something is up.
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My3cents 11:18 AM 06-01-2012
How do you know there is hearing loss?

Most obvious is that they don't look at you when you talk to them

When they talk words are muffled and not right sounding, beyond baby talk-

A child may ask "what" more then the usual or a word similar to what. eah

When you talk, the child will look at your lips not you.

A child will lean into you, or touch you as you talk. They are hearing the vibrations of your voice. When a child is having a hard time to say a word, I often will have them touch my neck so they can feel what the word sounds like.

a child will yell when they talk, or talk louder.

some kids will pull at the ears

hope this helps-
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Willow 11:48 AM 06-01-2012
I have a two year old right now with profound hearing loss. At birth he was diagnosed as deaf in his right ear, hard of hearing in his left. His parents were not using his hearing aid when he started here because they believed he was being ridiculed by other children while he had it in. As a result they thought he was self conscious about it (it obviously wasn't him that had the problem with it as much as them). Except for grunts and wailing he was almost completely non-verbal and they hadn't made any attempts to teach him to sign. I let them know right off the bat but gently that that was unacceptable to me and it wouldn't continue here. I required they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately. Popped it in the first day and he never touched it or seemed to respond to it negatively. In fact the child seemed to be DESPERATE to communicate with it in. He went from showing zero interest in other kids, zero interest in me, zero interest in communicating his wants and needs to talking near non-stop. Took me a looong time to finally start to understand what he was saying, and to an outsider he still might not make much sense but he's doing sooo much better than he was. He likes to focus heavily (read - stare) at my mouth when I talk, I think in ways he's trying to read lips now, so I use that opportunity to over enunciate every word. That too has helped him more accurately pick up on how to more accurately convey letter sounds. I sign main words when I speak to him and he's picked up on loads of those faster than I ever could as an adult lol. He is UNBELIEVABLY loud despite having the hearing aid. Was when I first met him and he never wore the aid and still is even with it in. There were a handful of times mom brought him after putting him to bed late and then letting him sleep in. As a result he wouldn't at all be interested in nap. If he could play quietly that wouldn't be as big of a deal, but he literally can't. Trying to explain to a deaf/hearing disabled toddler what a whisper is is pretty much next to impossible if not entirely so.



In hospitals around here all newborns are automatically checked for hearing deficits at birth. If they fail they are automatically rescheduled to have the test repeated with an ENT specialist (a lot of times it's just residual amniotic fluid, and they pass the second time with flying colors).

Do you know if this kiddo ever had such testing done at that point?

If he hasn't ever had his hearing checked, or if you're concerned I'd so much as demand they have him seen. Anything that hinders communication between a child and the world around him is a GIANT NO WAY in my book.
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safechner 12:31 PM 06-01-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
I have a two year old right now with profound hearing loss. At birth he was diagnosed as deaf in his right ear, hard of hearing in his left. His parents were not using his hearing aid when he started here because they believed he was being ridiculed by other children while he had it in. As a result they thought he was self conscious about it (it obviously wasn't him that had the problem with it as much as them). Except for grunts and wailing he was almost completely non-verbal and they hadn't made any attempts to teach him to sign. I let them know right off the bat but gently that that was unacceptable to me and it wouldn't continue here. I required they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately. Popped it in the first day and he never touched it or seemed to respond to it negatively. In fact the child seemed to be DESPERATE to communicate with it in. He went from showing zero interest in other kids, zero interest in me, zero interest in communicating his wants and needs to talking near non-stop. Took me a looong time to finally start to understand what he was saying, and to an outsider he still might not make much sense but he's doing sooo much better than he was. He likes to focus heavily (read - stare) at my mouth when I talk, I think in ways he's trying to read lips now, so I use that opportunity to over enunciate every word. That too has helped him more accurately pick up on how to more accurately convey letter sounds. I sign main words when I speak to him and he's picked up on loads of those faster than I ever could as an adult lol. He is UNBELIEVABLY loud despite having the hearing aid. Was when I first met him and he never wore the aid and still is even with it in. There were a handful of times mom brought him after putting him to bed late and then letting him sleep in. As a result he wouldn't at all be interested in nap. If he could play quietly that wouldn't be as big of a deal, but he literally can't. Trying to explain to a deaf/hearing disabled toddler what a whisper is is pretty much next to impossible if not entirely so.



In hospitals around here all newborns are automatically checked for hearing deficits at birth. If they fail they are automatically rescheduled to have the test repeated with an ENT specialist (a lot of times it's just residual amniotic fluid, and they pass the second time with flying colors).

Do you know if this kiddo ever had such testing done at that point?

If he hasn't ever had his hearing checked, or if you're concerned I'd so much as demand they have him seen. Anything that hinders communication between a child and the world around him is a GIANT NO WAY in my book.

I have to say I disagree with you. YOU CANNOT force a child to wear hearing aid if he don't want to. Seriously! If you have a hard time to understand him and then you can pick your hands to use sign language. That is simple!

I have an 11 year old daughter who is profoundly deaf and I tried to get her to wear hearing aids when she was an infant and she was not interested at all. She haven't wore it since she was a baby. My husband and I were not going to force her to wear hearing aids. I want her to be happy who she is, that is it.

I am deaf myself but I do wear hearing aid in my left ear because I like to hear everything. I can speak very well and hear very well but that was my decision. Not all deaf or hard of hearing people are the same.
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Willow 01:13 PM 06-01-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
I have to say I disagree with you. YOU CANNOT force a child to wear hearing aid if he don't want to. Seriously! If you have a hard time to understand him and then you can pick your hands to use sign language. That is simple!

I have an 11 year old daughter who is profoundly deaf and I tried to get her to wear hearing aids when she was an infant and she was not interested at all. She haven't wore it since she was a baby. My husband and I were not going to force her to wear hearing aids. I want her to be happy who she is, that is it.

I am deaf myself but I do wear hearing aid in my left ear because I like to hear everything. I can speak very well and hear very well but that was my decision. Not all deaf or hard of hearing people are the same.

I never once suggested forcing a child to wear a hearing aid. What I insisted on was the parents allowing him to try.

*He* never once had an issue with his hearing aid. *They thought* simply because other children were curious and pointed it out when he wore it that that would hurt his feelings and he would feel ostracized. At age one. And that's why they were keeping him from using one.


I did "pick up my hands" to use sign language with him, thank you. Which was another communication route *his parents* refused to utilize - not him or I. We are quite proficient at this point and it's AWESOME! They were content with him not having *ANY* means to communicate and no, that was not ok with me nor would it ever be. The child was obviously desperate to connect, and I'm glad my persistence convinced his parents to open up his world beyond what they were initially comfortable with.


After seeing his progress his parents have thankfully become his biggest advocates. They were the ones that needed help accepting him for who he was and learning to work with his disability instead of ignoring it altogether. Not me. Now they work with me and his transformation has been astonishing and humbling to watch. He is a completely different kid since they stopped projecting their feelings onto him, assuming he was feeling the same way they were, or the same way they thought the world must be feeling about him. Instead they now focus on how HE feels, and what HE needs to succeed. I am so proud of their entire family for that.


If he wouldn't have liked his aid I would have pushed signing.

If he wouldn't have liked signing I would have pushed the aid.

If he wouldn't have liked or accepted either I would have pushed other interventions because not having any desire to communicate means something is wrong there.

Him not communicating at all was my only concern. When he got upset I'd literally have to run through guessing his potential needs and wants as if he were an infant because he wouldn't even TRY to convey them. That's not normal and I will repeat, it will never be ok with me for the kids in my care. If there was an underlying issue that causes a child to reject all communication (like autism) then I'd demand that be addressed in an appropriate way also. Simply doing nothing in situations like that is unacceptable.
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safechner 02:04 PM 06-01-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
I never once suggested forcing a child to wear a hearing aid. What I insisted on was the parents allowing him to try.

*He* never once had an issue with his hearing aid. *They thought* simply because other children were curious and pointed it out when he wore it that that would hurt his feelings and he would feel ostracized. At age one. And that's why they were keeping him from using one.


I did "pick up my hands" to use sign language with him, thank you. Which was another communication route *his parents* refused to utilize - not him or I. We are quite proficient at this point and it's AWESOME! They were content with him not having *ANY* means to communicate and no, that was not ok with me nor would it ever be. The child was obviously desperate to connect, and I'm glad my persistence convinced his parents to open up his world beyond what they were initially comfortable with.


After seeing his progress his parents have thankfully become his biggest advocates. They were the ones that needed help accepting him for who he was and learning to work with his disability instead of ignoring it altogether. Not me. Now they work with me and his transformation has been astonishing and humbling to watch. He is a completely different kid since they stopped projecting their feelings onto him, assuming he was feeling the same way they were, or the same way they thought the world must be feeling about him. Instead they now focus on how HE feels, and what HE needs to succeed. I am so proud of their entire family for that.


If he wouldn't have liked his aid I would have pushed signing.

If he wouldn't have liked signing I would have pushed the aid.

If he wouldn't have liked or accepted either I would have pushed other interventions because not having any desire to communicate means something is wrong there.

Him not communicating at all was my only concern. When he got upset I'd literally have to run through guessing his potential needs and wants as if he were an infant because he wouldn't even TRY to convey them. That's not normal and I will repeat, it will never be ok with me for the kids in my care. If there was an underlying issue that causes a child to reject all communication (like autism) then I'd demand that be addressed in an appropriate way also. Simply doing nothing in situations like that is unacceptable.

Well, your word ". I required they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately. " That sounds like you are forcing him to wear hearing aid to me.

I am glad you are learning sign language. It sounds like he hasn't been around deaf peers just yet. He should be in preschool when he will be three years old but he can enroll at 2 1/2 years old if he is behind sign language or speech. Does he have help like ECI or something else in Minnesota. He would need to get involved deaf education so he can learn about deaf community.

My mother found out that I am deaf when I was two years old. I was born deaf but she doesn't know all along until she had concerned when she tried to call my name a few times. My mother told me that I do speak but I do speak very loud like mama, no, a few foul words (learning from my many cousins), bye, and hi. I can hear a little without wearing hearing aids. I learned sign language quickly when I was two years old that my mom sent me to preschool with deaf peers. When I was 7 years old, I was very interested to learn speech so I asked my mother to send me speech therapy daily.

About my daughter. It is totally different story. She is still not interested to learn speech or hear just yet. I think she likes the way she is now, I guess. She loves to be involved deaf community. We are different.


I would recommend to buy signing time dvd or his parents to buy it so your boy will love it. Check it out www.signingtime.com It is quite expensive but it is worth to it.

Please don't push him whatever he needs to do. He would need to get some help so he can decided what he wants. Maybe he will learn speech in later time if he wants to. I am sure he is new environment but please give him some time.
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Willow 02:46 PM 06-01-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
Well, your word ". I required they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately. " That sounds like you are forcing him to wear hearing aid to me.

I am glad you are learning sign language. It sounds like he hasn't been around deaf peers just yet. He should be in preschool when he will be three years old but he can enroll at 2 1/2 years old if he is behind sign language or speech. Does he have help like ECI or something else in Minnesota. He would need to get involved deaf education so he can learn about deaf community.

My mother found out that I am deaf when I was two years old. I was born deaf but she doesn't know all along until she had concerned when she tried to call my name a few times. My mother told me that I do speak but I do speak very loud like mama, no, a few foul words (learning from my many cousins), bye, and hi. I can hear a little without wearing hearing aids. I learned sign language quickly when I was two years old that my mom sent me to preschool with deaf peers. When I was 7 years old, I was very interested to learn speech so I asked my mother to send me speech therapy daily.

About my daughter. It is totally different story. She is still not interested to learn speech or hear just yet. I think she likes the way she is now, I guess. She loves to be involved deaf community. We are different.


I would recommend to buy signing time dvd or his parents to buy it so your boy will love it. Check it out www.signingtime.com It is quite expensive but it is worth to it.

Please don't push him whatever he needs to do. He would need to get some help so he can decided what he wants. Maybe he will learn speech in later time if he wants to. I am sure he is new environment but please give him some time.
I don't understand where our miscommunication is coming from lol


I'm not forcing language or speaking on him, nor has he interpreted any of what we've done that way. What I have ENCOURAGED is communication, and that is essential for most children to thrive in life. He had the WANT to learn to communicate in many ways, he just had never been encouraged or given the opportunity to.

He LOVES to talk now that he understands when he does, he's able to communicate what he needs and wants.

He LOVES to sign now that he understands when he does, he's able to communicate what he needs and wants.


I already know how to sign quite proficiently, all thanks to my high school offering ASL as a foreign language along with Spanish, French and German. I opted to take that and got four years under my belt. I expanded on that when many of my fosters came to me non-verbal, some were much more comfortable signing than speaking, and that was fine with me. I got loads of help from a friend of mine who currently teaches at MSAD. I am familiar with signingtime and have recommended it to the parents before

He is in both speech and occupational therapy due to what were identified as global delays via the birth-three program available in MN. He has been making huge leaps in catching up with their help.

We do live in very rural MN, and no, at two he hasn't been exposed to many (if any?) other deaf children yet because quite frankly, there aren't many if any others his age around. I'm not sure at what point that'll happen, and it will be his parents responsibility to teach him to embrace that side of who he is. I agree it'll be important. But right now just the fact that he's finally able to interact with other children and adults, deaf or not, is a giant step in the right direction.


I am very proud of what we've been able to accomplish.



I am sorry countrykids for the birdwalk here. I hope you're able to sort out what's up with your kiddo. I would not be ok with accepting a hope that he simply grows out of what he's experiencing. I fully understand how frustrating that must be when your gut tells you something is up and the parents don't agree.
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Willow 02:55 PM 06-01-2012
To address this specifically:

Originally Posted by safechner:
Well, your word ". I required they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately. " That sounds like you are forcing him to wear hearing aid to me.
I required that they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately was based on the fact that the parents told me they stopped letting him use it because they thought he was embarrassed by it simply because other children were curious about it.

They stopped using it:

Not because it hurt him.

Not because he hated it.

Not because he rejected the sound.

But because of how *they* perceived a one year old having emotions that one year olds aren't capable of having. It was *their* feelings. *They* were bothered by it.

Not him.


They didn't mean any intentional harm, but it was straight bologna that when taking it out of his life they didn't replace it with another way for him to communicate with the world. Essentially they isolated him by choice, and again, that's not ok.

I'm glad they very quickly saw the light and now see what an asset communication is to him in his life.
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safechner 10:47 AM 06-04-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
To address this specifically:



I required that they bring the hearing aid and that he start wearing it immediately was based on the fact that the parents told me they stopped letting him use it because they thought he was embarrassed by it simply because other children were curious about it.

They stopped using it:

Not because it hurt him.

Not because he hated it.

Not because he rejected the sound.

But because of how *they* perceived a one year old having emotions that one year olds aren't capable of having. It was *their* feelings. *They* were bothered by it.

Not him.


They didn't mean any intentional harm, but it was straight bologna that when taking it out of his life they didn't replace it with another way for him to communicate with the world. Essentially they isolated him by choice, and again, that's not ok.

I'm glad they very quickly saw the light and now see what an asset communication is to him in his life.
It sounds like it is new to his parents about deaf/HOH world, I guess. I do know there are so many hearing parents don't want anyone knows or embarrassed about their child/ren deaf or HOH. To be honest, what is the point? No one perfects!!

Some of parents are very lucky that they are willing to learn sign language so they will be able to communicate with their children. Many deaf kids cannot stand of their parents who don't know sign language and they don't talk to their parents at all. I do feel bad for the parents but I don't blame on them not being want to be with their parents.

I love my parents but I don't talk to my parents very often. We live 750 miles apart. My mom knows basic sign language but she is working so hard to learn more sign language to communicate with her granddaughter who don't speak like me.

My husband is hearing but he is fluent in asl that I taught him when we got together. He is a sweetheart! Our daughter is very lucky to have us because she is able to use communicate with us and her little sister. We love her so much so we want to be there for her no matter what. We will fight anything for her and her rights.
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My3cents 11:18 AM 06-04-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
It sounds like it is new to his parents about deaf/HOH world, I guess. I do know there are so many hearing parents don't want anyone knows or embarrassed about their child/ren deaf or HOH. To be honest, what is the point? No one perfects!!

Some of parents are very lucky that they are willing to learn sign language so they will be able to communicate with their children. Many deaf kids cannot stand of their parents who don't know sign language and they don't talk to their parents at all. I do feel bad for the parents but I don't blame on them not being want to be with their parents.

I love my parents but I don't talk to my parents very often. We live 750 miles apart. My mom knows basic sign language but she is working so hard to learn more sign language to communicate with her granddaughter who don't speak like me.

My husband is hearing but he is fluent in asl that I taught him when we got together. He is a sweetheart! Our daughter is very lucky to have us because she is able to use communicate with us and her little sister. We love her so much so we want to be there for her no matter what. We will fight anything for her and her rights.
Computers are so helpful. 750 miles should not keep you from being able to keep in touch. Try skyping or facetime- If she can't sign, she can write and you can respond- you would be seeing each other- how cool is that

I agree with Willow here- it is our job to do everything we can to help our kiddo's grow. Sometimes parents are just scared and for many reasons. The younger years are when so much growth happens it is here that you want to catch issues and start to fix them. Their minds are like sponges during these early years and they want to take it all in. You don't wait until the child is decides-

best-
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safechner 12:14 PM 06-04-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
Computers are so helpful. 750 miles should not keep you from being able to keep in touch. Try skyping or facetime- If she can't sign, she can write and you can respond- you would be seeing each other- how cool is that

I agree with Willow here- it is our job to do everything we can to help our kiddo's grow. Sometimes parents are just scared and for many reasons. The younger years are when so much growth happens it is here that you want to catch issues and start to fix them. Their minds are like sponges during these early years and they want to take it all in. You don't wait until the child is decides-

best-
We do text each other and she is on my facebook, but I just dont really talk to her, that is who I am. like I said, I do love my parents but I am not crazy talk to them.

I understand that Willow is doing her job to do everything for him but she shouldn't required for him to wear it if he don't want to or his parents embarrassed or whatever reasons. Only she can help him a way to do communicate like sign language or something like that. I don't required my daughter to wear hearing aid if she don't want to. She hates it since she was a baby but we stopped. It will up to my daughter decision if she wants to wear hearing aids or not.

If you found out your child is deaf, would you force him/her to wear Cochlear Impaired to make him/her into hearing world?? I have nothing against CI but I feel sorry for those children who forced it by the parents. I have a lot of friends who has had CI and they sure hate it and they also hate their parents! That is why they don't talk each other!

My mom had thought about getting me CI when I was a child but my mom think it was completed wrong for her to make me to have one. I thank to my mother who made a right decision for letting me decide what I want. If she does that, I promise you I will hate her and I would never speak to her again. That is why it happened to a lot of my friends. My good friend have CI but she felt it is not working for her when she got it when she was an adult but that was her decision.

Please keep in mind, deaf and hearing worlds are very different. Deaf world don't understand about hearing world and hearing world don't understand about deaf world. I am in deaf/hearing worlds, so I do understand between them (my husband/younger daughter are hearing and I have a lot of friends who are also hearing). I learned a lot in hearing world when I met my husband. Hope it makes sense!
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Willow 12:57 PM 06-04-2012
I cannot repeat enough, he does want to wear his hearing aid though. He loves it and has thrived with having access to it again. He gets very upset when it's taken out and he begs to have it put back in. Even at his age he obviously sees it as an asset in his life and one he wants to continue utilizing.

If HE had a problem with it then I'd think differently, but he doesn't, and never has. Again, he loves and uses his aid willingly and wantingly every single time.


I disagree with you completely that a HOH/deaf child shouldn't have access to a hearing aid if his parents are simply embarrassed by the device. It's not fair to limit a child's world simply because the parents cannot get over their own discriminations and/or embarrassments.
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safechner 06:27 AM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
I cannot repeat enough, he does want to wear his hearing aid though. He loves it and has thrived with having access to it again. He gets very upset when it's taken out and he begs to have it put back in. Even at his age he obviously sees it as an asset in his life and one he wants to continue utilizing.

If HE had a problem with it then I'd think differently, but he doesn't, and never has. Again, he loves and uses his aid willingly and wantingly every single time.


I disagree with you completely that a HOH/deaf child shouldn't have access to a hearing aid if his parents are simply embarrassed by the device. It's not fair to limit a child's world simply because the parents cannot get over their own discriminations and/or embarrassments.
Willow, I understand you very clear, so you don't need repeat enough.

You may disagree with me, that is your opinion. My opinion is that you should have sit down to discuss with the boy's parents to tell them there is nothing wrong for him to wear hearing aid and their son is interested to wear hearing aid again . There is nothing embarrassments about. If they are still not comfortable then that is fine. You do have another way to use communicate with him because you know sign language, which is awesome! You said this boy loves sign language now because you taught him. That is communication that you are using. There is nothing wrong with that. If his parents don't learn sign language, shame on them. Trust me, there are so many parents wouldn't learn sign language to communicate with their profoundly deaf child/ren. The boy either will be happy to use communicate with you with sign language or speak. As far as this boy is only two years old, it is hardly for him to have emotion about communicate just yet. I remember when I was two years old, it doesn't bother me at all. I read their lips a lot of time. After that, my mom found out that I was deaf and she sent me to a deaf education preschool and I picked up sign language quickly. My mother tried so hard to learn sign language but that is the best she could. I still read their lips until I was 4 years old. My mom got me both hearing aids and I dont ever care about that so I chewed my hearing aids. After that, I still read their lips until I was 9 years old and I got hearing aids again after I asked my mom for it. I went to speech therapy and I picked up quickly too. My mother was shocked that I learned really fast. That is what I wanted when I was very interested to learn. Now all I am saying just give the parents some time for them get it. However, they already got it, anyways.


I understand you are trying to help him but he does have communicate with you. That is sign!

You are right it is not fair to limit a child's world but there are so many not fair to deaf children due to their parents don't know sign language or forced them to speak without using sign language.

That boy will always be deaf. He will around deaf children in later in his life that he would involved in deaf community. His parents will learn by it or not, who knows.

Like I said, hearing people don't understand about deaf culture.

Well, this is my last post so I hope you understand what I mean. You probably still disagree with me, but that is ok.
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Willow 06:57 AM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:

I agree with Willow here- it is our job to do everything we can to help our kiddo's grow. Sometimes parents are just scared and for many reasons. The younger years are when so much growth happens it is here that you want to catch issues and start to fix them. Their minds are like sponges during these early years and they want to take it all in. You don't wait until the child is decides-
Exactly.

His parents started out scared and embarrassed only because it was something new to them. They no longer are either scared or embarrassed and have since made phenomenal strides towards advocating for him and his disability rather than trying to brush it under the rug. His mother especially.

I remember my kids bringing things to the table that challenged what I knew about parenting. That made (and still sometimes make) me say WOAH! Wait..what??! How am I supposed to handle this???

They just needed encouragement is all. We all do sometimes.
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B Lou 08:16 AM 06-05-2012
I have a DCG who from the time she started talking she talked very very loud. And didn't seem to pay much attention when I talked to her or any of the children. I mentioned it to the parents when she was around 3-4 years old. They took her in and had her hearing checked. She now wears a hearing aid and she listens better and really pays attention when anyone speaks.
She is now 7 years old and her parents have her convinced that her hearing aid is the coolest piece of jewlrey that any girl could ever want. Way to go mom and dad.
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Willow 09:05 AM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by B Lou:
I have a DCG who from the time she started talking she talked very very loud. And didn't seem to pay much attention when I talked to her or any of the children. I mentioned it to the parents when she was around 3-4 years old. They took her in and had her hearing checked. She now wears a hearing aid and she listens better and really pays attention when anyone speaks.
She is now 7 years old and her parents have her convinced that her hearing aid is the coolest piece of jewlrey that any girl could ever want. Way to go mom and dad.
That's awesome!!!

My kiddos mom and dad were concerned he'd pull his aid out outside and were hesitant to let him wear it out of fear he'd lose it (can't blame them, they're expensive!). Instead of giving into that fear mom did some searching online and came up with some cool looking neon stickers she added little scrapbooking truck stickers to that adhere right onto to it so even if he did pull it out (he never once has) it would still be easy to find in the grass. He loves picking new stickers for it now and gets so excited to show me when he switches them lol
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My3cents 09:30 AM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
We do text each other and she is on my facebook, but I just dont really talk to her, that is who I am. like I said, I do love my parents but I am not crazy talk to them.

I understand that Willow is doing her job to do everything for him but she shouldn't required for him to wear it if he don't want to or his parents embarrassed or whatever reasons. Only she can help him a way to do communicate like sign language or something like that. I don't required my daughter to wear hearing aid if she don't want to. She hates it since she was a baby but we stopped. It will up to my daughter decision if she wants to wear hearing aids or not.

If you found out your child is deaf, would you force him/her to wear Cochlear Impaired to make him/her into hearing world?? I have nothing against CI but I feel sorry for those children who forced it by the parents. I have a lot of friends who has had CI and they sure hate it and they also hate their parents! That is why they don't talk each other!

My mom had thought about getting me CI when I was a child but my mom think it was completed wrong for her to make me to have one. I thank to my mother who made a right decision for letting me decide what I want. If she does that, I promise you I will hate her and I would never speak to her again. That is why it happened to a lot of my friends. My good friend have CI but she felt it is not working for her when she got it when she was an adult but that was her decision.

Please keep in mind, deaf and hearing worlds are very different. Deaf world don't understand about hearing world and hearing world don't understand about deaf world. I am in deaf/hearing worlds, so I do understand between them (my husband/younger daughter are hearing and I have a lot of friends who are also hearing). I learned a lot in hearing world when I met my husband. Hope it makes sense!
your making sense to me, but I don't agree with you. I think it is the parents job to do what is best for their child. I am talking of the young age when most choices should be up to the parents. If at a young age I could have my child hear or hear better with CI and had the means to provide this for the child. I would.

To hate your parents for wanting for you a better life is not right in itself. As an adult, you make the choices but when your a child the parents should make the choices. Choices that should be in the hands of a child, are things like....what color shirt do you want to wear today? Do you want strawberry, vanilla or chocolate? Even some of these choices should be made by the parent depending upon the conditions surrounding it. The child that has an allergy to chocolate- that choice is not going to be available to them. Going to church or an important event- holey dirty jeans are not going to be your choice.
I agree when possible and when applicable give a child a choice, but when it is important and a decision needing the mind of an adult- let the adult be the adult and the child be the child. I feel children need to respect adults more and are left to their own devices at too young of an age these days- but that is my personal point of view. There is a balance there and I feel it should lean towards the parents that have the best interest of the child at heart.

Yes Willow should require him to wear it if it is going to help her to communicate better with him and vise versa.

I think you didn't get CI because you were scared. I would be too. Now you don't know how that would have changed your life, because you didn't give it a chance. I am not hearing impaired but my ears fill up with fluid from seasonal allergies and it can drive me nuts. I would do anything to hear clearer when this happens. I feel it is being scared of the unknown and you are right to feel that way.

It is ok that we do not agree on this. You are in it. I am on the outside looking in and can see things clearer because I am not caught up in it. Thank you for sharing your views-
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My3cents 09:36 AM 06-05-2012
[quote=safechner;234790]We do text each other and she is on my facebook, but I just dont really talk to her, that is who I am. like I said, I do love my parents but I am not crazy talk to them.

I wanted to comment on this. I left it out in the last post.

Talk to your parents- Someday they won't be around. Enjoy them while you have that time together. If you love them, take the time for them and show them that- you don't have to give up who you are to have a wonderful relationship with your parents. Your lucky to have your parents.

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B Lou 10:00 AM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
That's awesome!!!

My kiddos mom and dad were concerned he'd pull his aid out outside and were hesitant to let him wear it out of fear he'd lose it (can't blame them, they're expensive!). Instead of giving into that fear mom did some searching online and came up with some cool looking neon stickers she added little scrapbooking truck stickers to that adhere right onto to it so even if he did pull it out (he never once has) it would still be easy to find in the grass. He loves picking new stickers for it now and gets so excited to show me when he switches them lol
Yes her's is purple swirl and you can add a plastic butterfly or plastic flower to the plastic piece that goes over the ear. She is very proud of it and even the other girls want one to.
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safechner 12:24 PM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
your making sense to me, but I don't agree with you. I think it is the parents job to do what is best for their child. I am talking of the young age when most choices should be up to the parents. If at a young age I could have my child hear or hear better with CI and had the means to provide this for the child. I would.

To hate your parents for wanting for you a better life is not right in itself. As an adult, you make the choices but when your a child the parents should make the choices. Choices that should be in the hands of a child, are things like....what color shirt do you want to wear today? Do you want strawberry, vanilla or chocolate? Even some of these choices should be made by the parent depending upon the conditions surrounding it. The child that has an allergy to chocolate- that choice is not going to be available to them. Going to church or an important event- holey dirty jeans are not going to be your choice.
I agree when possible and when applicable give a child a choice, but when it is important and a decision needing the mind of an adult- let the adult be the adult and the child be the child. I feel children need to respect adults more and are left to their own devices at too young of an age these days- but that is my personal point of view. There is a balance there and I feel it should lean towards the parents that have the best interest of the child at heart.

Yes Willow should require him to wear it if it is going to help her to communicate better with him and vise versa.

I think you didn't get CI because you were scared. I would be too. Now you don't know how that would have changed your life, because you didn't give it a chance. I am not hearing impaired but my ears fill up with fluid from seasonal allergies and it can drive me nuts. I would do anything to hear clearer when this happens. I feel it is being scared of the unknown and you are right to feel that way.

It is ok that we do not agree on this. You are in it. I am on the outside looking in and can see things clearer because I am not caught up in it. Thank you for sharing your views-

I understand the parents want best for thier child/ren. However, most of parents just don't want their child label as deaf so that is the reason why they want them be hearing world like them. If a child don't like to wear hearing aids or ci but the parents still forced them, anyways. I have a daughter who is profoundly deaf that means she is 100% hearing loss at birth due to stronger genetic in my bio father's family, which I don't know about. I don't see my bio father since I was 4 years old but he is hearing. That is what my high risk genetic doctor told me when I took test. Mine is 75% in my left ear and 65% in my right ear. That is why I can hear a little when my many cousins talked too loud at my grandparents' house everyday and learn how to speak on my own without hearing aid. Right now, I am wearing one hearing aid in my left ear which I am perfect fine with it. Only I can tell you, I cannot stand to wear both hearing aids and it makes me nuts! Again, I was born deaf. You were born hearing so I understand why it makes you nuts if there is filling up in your ear that you can't hear. We are different, if you know what I mean. My husband and I paid $1,700 for two hearing aids for our daughter when she was 5 months old along with huggie to hold her ears. We put into her for the first time. I don't think she get it but we tried to give her some time. However, she keeps pull them out everyday. I would say 1,000 times per two days. I noticed she really hate it and I stopped let her to use it. My husband and I are not going force her. I just want her to be happy who she is, that is her choice. If she wants to wear hearing aid again, and I will be happy to take her to the doctor to get update hearing aids.

I have a friend's friend's friend's mother tried to force her 10 years old to get CI and she screamed "NO" to her everyday. Do you think the parents still have best choice for her child?

Do I scared about getting CI? Umm... not really... The reason is that, I am not going to take risk to get CI due to deaths, headaches, cant play sports, mold, etc... I do not want them to open my brain to put machine in my brain, not in inner ears and left scar. CI is not everyone but the doctor want money, that is all. Our audiological very hard tried to get our daughter to have CI because she knew she can easy to pull my husband who is hearing. However, I stand up screamed at her and she was shocked! My husband sat back to do nothing since he lets me yelled at her and he supported me 100%. We already told her no a few times and she keeps doing it.


When I met my husband and he wasn't get it about deaf cultures. He was just like you or any hearing people who believes for deaf children to have opportunity to hear. He studies about deaf cultures and he finally got it. That is why he supported me and he is not going to force his daughter to make her hear. We love her no matter what. I wouldn't image to force my other hearing daughter to be deaf. However, both of my daughters possibly will have children who may be deaf in their future.

Let me tell you, I am very, very, very happy with my life! I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters and have my own business of daycare. My daycare parents absolutely love me that I taught all hearing kids sign language in 11 years. Hearing children who know sign language are very amazed because they will be able involved deaf community later in their life. A friend of mine told me it was amazed to see my daycare children open their eyes around deaf people that they accepted them no matter who they are. I am very impressed on his comment and it makes me feel so good to know.


About my parents, well, my husband and I made a new path for our family in the future. My husband have parents, but he is not interested to talk to them too due to their react about our daughter's hearing loss and tried to get her to get CI when she was child. My parents just accept her just like them accept me who I am. Yes, I have thought about the parents might not around in the future but I still don't really want to talk to them. Sometimes, my mom tried to tell me that she loves me on facebook and text but she never said that to me when I was kid. All I said ok. That is what I am using to it when I grew up. I do not want my kids do the same things when I grew up. We always be there for our kids and show our love to them. That is why we made a new path in our family.

You and me are different views but I do not want to make deaf community go away. Just be happy who you are, that is all matter.

Sorry it is long story but I think it may worth to write on.
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Blackcat31 12:36 PM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
I understand the parents want best for thier child/ren. However, most of parents just don't want their child label as deaf so that is the reason why they want them be hearing world like them. If a child don't like to wear hearing aids or ci but the parents still forced them, anyways. I have a daughter who is profoundly deaf that means she is 100% hearing loss at birth due to stronger genetic in my bio father's family, which I don't know about. I don't see my bio father since I was 4 years old but he is hearing. That is what my high risk genetic doctor told me when I took test. Mine is 75% in my left ear and 65% in my right ear. That is why I can hear a little when my many cousins talked too loud at my grandparents' house everyday and learn how to speak on my own without hearing aid. Right now, I am wearing one hearing aid in my left ear which I am perfect fine with it. Only I can tell you, I cannot stand to wear both hearing aids and it makes me nuts! Again, I was born deaf. You were born hearing so I understand why it makes you nuts if there is filling up in your ear that you can't hear. We are different, if you know what I mean. My husband and I paid $1,700 for two hearing aids for our daughter when she was 5 months old along with huggie to hold her ears. We put into her for the first time. I don't think she get it but we tried to give her some time. However, she keeps pull them out everyday. I would say 1,000 times per two days. I noticed she really hate it and I stopped let her to use it. My husband and I are not going force her. I just want her to be happy who she is, that is her choice. If she wants to wear hearing aid again, and I will be happy to take her to the doctor to get update hearing aids.

I have a friend's friend's friend's mother tried to force her 10 years old to get CI and she screamed "NO" to her everyday. Do you think the parents still have best choice for her child?

Do I scared about getting CI? Umm... not really... The reason is that, I am not going to take risk to get CI due to deaths, headaches, cant play sports, mold, etc... I do not want them to open my brain to put machine in my brain, not in inner ears and left scar. CI is not everyone but the doctor want money, that is all. Our audiological very hard tried to get our daughter to have CI because she knew she can easy to pull my husband who is hearing. However, I stand up screamed at her and she was shocked! My husband sat back to do nothing since he lets me yelled at her and he supported me 100%. We already told her no a few times and she keeps doing it.


When I met my husband and he wasn't get it about deaf cultures. He was just like you or any hearing people who believes for deaf children to have opportunity to hear. He studies about deaf cultures and he finally got it. That is why he supported me and he is not going to force his daughter to make her hear. We love her no matter what. I wouldn't image to force my other hearing daughter to be deaf. However, both of my daughters possibly will have children who may be deaf in their future.

Let me tell you, I am very, very, very happy with my life! I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters and have my own business of daycare. My daycare parents absolutely love me that I taught all hearing kids sign language in 11 years. Hearing children who know sign language are very amazed because they will be able involved deaf community later in their life. A friend of mine told me it was amazed to see my daycare children open their eyes around deaf people that they accepted them no matter who they are. I am very impressed on his comment and it makes me feel so good to know.


About my parents, well, my husband and I made a new path for our family in the future. My husband have parents, but he is not interested to talk to them too due to their react about our daughter's hearing loss and tried to get her to get CI when she was child. My parents just accept her just like them accept me who I am. Yes, I have thought about the parents might not around in the future but I still don't really want to talk to them. Sometimes, my mom tried to tell me that she loves me on facebook and text but she never said that to me when I was kid. All I said ok. That is what I am using to it when I grew up. I do not want my kids do the same things when I grew up. We always be there for our kids and show our love to them. That is why we made a new path in our family.

You and me are different views but I do not want to make deaf community go away. Just be happy who you are, that is all matter.

Sorry it is long story but I think it may worth to write on.
I don't really have any advice or anything I can add to this post or thread in general as I have zero experience with deafness or HOH but I just wanted to say I admire you.

I think you stand strong in your convictions and unless someone is actually in your shoes, they can't FULLY understand. So basically... you rock!

Being able to hear does NOT guarantee a happy or "normal" life. Perhaps the parents in this thread felt NOT wearing a hearing aide or learning sign language WAS/IS in the best interest of the child and honestly, who are we to tell them what is best for their child.

Not being able to hear or providing a child with the means to hear is NOT neglect or abuse so.....
Reply
safechner 01:02 PM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't really have any advice or anything I can add to this post or thread in general as I have zero experience with deafness or HOH but I just wanted to say I admire you.

I think you stand strong in your convictions and unless someone is actually in your shoes, they can't FULLY understand. So basically... you rock!

Being able to hear does NOT guarantee a happy or "normal" life. Perhaps the parents in this thread felt NOT wearing a hearing aide or learning sign language WAS/IS in the best interest of the child and honestly, who are we to tell them what is best for their child.

Not being able to hear or providing a child with the means to hear is NOT neglect or abuse so.....

Thank you, Blackcat!
Reply
Willow 01:16 PM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I

Not being able to hear or providing a child with the means to hear is NOT neglect or abuse so.....
IMHO it is if the child *wants* to hear via the use of an aid or CI and the parents refuse to give them that opportunity.



No one here said anything about condoning forcing a child who is deaf or HOH to use an aid or get a CI. The only thing that was discussed here is giving a child who is deaf or HOH the opportunity to explore those options and if the child is interested giving them the opportunity to continue to be supported using those means of assisting their ways of communicating with the world. Key words - if the child is interested.

I understand there are many in the deaf community who believe everyone born deaf should embrace that part of them and never want to be anything else. I however believe people should be allowed to feel how they want to about their disabilities. If someone born deaf or HOH wants to utilize any means necessary to accomplish hearing on at least some level they should have the opportunity to and not be chastised for those feelings by others who choose differently for themselves. In talking with that teacher friend of mine she said the judgement among the deaf and HOH community itself over whether it's flat out wrong to try to correct a hearing impairment is astonishingly harsh.

Getting a hearing aid or CI is almost seen as some sort of insult to those who don't.

The sociology behind the dynamic is both fascinating and sad
Reply
momofsix 02:45 PM 06-05-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
I understand the parents want best for thier child/ren. However, most of parents just don't want their child label as deaf so that is the reason why they want them be hearing world like them. If a child don't like to wear hearing aids or ci but the parents still forced them, anyways. I have a daughter who is profoundly deaf that means she is 100% hearing loss at birth due to stronger genetic in my bio father's family, which I don't know about. I don't see my bio father since I was 4 years old but he is hearing. That is what my high risk genetic doctor told me when I took test. Mine is 75% in my left ear and 65% in my right ear. That is why I can hear a little when my many cousins talked too loud at my grandparents' house everyday and learn how to speak on my own without hearing aid. Right now, I am wearing one hearing aid in my left ear which I am perfect fine with it. Only I can tell you, I cannot stand to wear both hearing aids and it makes me nuts! Again, I was born deaf. You were born hearing so I understand why it makes you nuts if there is filling up in your ear that you can't hear. We are different, if you know what I mean. My husband and I paid $1,700 for two hearing aids for our daughter when she was 5 months old along with huggie to hold her ears. We put into her for the first time. I don't think she get it but we tried to give her some time. However, she keeps pull them out everyday. I would say 1,000 times per two days. I noticed she really hate it and I stopped let her to use it. My husband and I are not going force her. I just want her to be happy who she is, that is her choice. If she wants to wear hearing aid again, and I will be happy to take her to the doctor to get update hearing aids.

I have a friend's friend's friend's mother tried to force her 10 years old to get CI and she screamed "NO" to her everyday. Do you think the parents still have best choice for her child?

Do I scared about getting CI? Umm... not really... The reason is that, I am not going to take risk to get CI due to deaths, headaches, cant play sports, mold, etc... I do not want them to open my brain to put machine in my brain, not in inner ears and left scar. CI is not everyone but the doctor want money, that is all. Our audiological very hard tried to get our daughter to have CI because she knew she can easy to pull my husband who is hearing. However, I stand up screamed at her and she was shocked! My husband sat back to do nothing since he lets me yelled at her and he supported me 100%. We already told her no a few times and she keeps doing it.


When I met my husband and he wasn't get it about deaf cultures. He was just like you or any hearing people who believes for deaf children to have opportunity to hear. He studies about deaf cultures and he finally got it. That is why he supported me and he is not going to force his daughter to make her hear. We love her no matter what. I wouldn't image to force my other hearing daughter to be deaf. However, both of my daughters possibly will have children who may be deaf in their future.

Let me tell you, I am very, very, very happy with my life! I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters and have my own business of daycare. My daycare parents absolutely love me that I taught all hearing kids sign language in 11 years. Hearing children who know sign language are very amazed because they will be able involved deaf community later in their life. A friend of mine told me it was amazed to see my daycare children open their eyes around deaf people that they accepted them no matter who they are. I am very impressed on his comment and it makes me feel so good to know.


About my parents, well, my husband and I made a new path for our family in the future. My husband have parents, but he is not interested to talk to them too due to their react about our daughter's hearing loss and tried to get her to get CI when she was child. My parents just accept her just like them accept me who I am. Yes, I have thought about the parents might not around in the future but I still don't really want to talk to them. Sometimes, my mom tried to tell me that she loves me on facebook and text but she never said that to me when I was kid. All I said ok. That is what I am using to it when I grew up. I do not want my kids do the same things when I grew up. We always be there for our kids and show our love to them. That is why we made a new path in our family.

You and me are different views but I do not want to make deaf community go away. Just be happy who you are, that is all matter.

Sorry it is long story but I think it may worth to write on.
This brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for standing up for and stating your position so beautifully! Your own kids and daycare kids are blessed to have you in their lives!
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Tags:hear, hearing problems, loud talker
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