Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Thought You Were All Exaggerating.....Until Today
Happy Hearts 04:16 PM 06-06-2013
I must admit, I thought that the kids and parents you describe as hard to manage was an exaggeration. But, today I had an interview with a mom and her 3 year old boy. Wow!

He was rude, aggressive and just plain bad. She made excuses for his behaviour. I had to giggle to myself as I was going through this that I really need to apologize to you all for being an unbeliever.

As the interview went on, I knew there was no way I was taking him. I put up all kinds of red flags with mom on purpose so that she would decide not to place him with me.

She said he doesn't nap.... I right out said then it won't work..... ALL my kids nap. She asked if he could quietly just read a book. I couldn't have been more blunt.. Nope, I need an hour to recharge. I thought that would be the end of it. She said, ok then you can nap him.

He pulled his pants down in the yard to pee..... I told mom that's not allowed, and that if Licensing saw that I would be shut down immediately. I turned around again and he's punching my dcg, I started running to her. Every time I looked at him he was misbehaving and being mean to the other kids. I out and out told mom he was not allowed to touch my dog or cat. She said, why not does the dog nip the kids? I answered that no he doesn't and I want to keep it that way. I don't think I could have been more blunt about his behaviour. I have never met a kid like this EVER.

Everything he did, I had to correct. I had had it with that kid. I'm pretty sure mom thinks I'm a cow. Whatever! that was want I wanted her to think anyways. So, I told her I would give him a two week trial. But, I think I'll just call her tonight and tell her no. I'll blame the napping issue.
Reply
MamaBearCanada 04:26 PM 06-06-2013
Or that DCG's mom called you about her bruises! Wow!! I would have been speechless at just seeing one or two of those behaviors let alone the whole list!
Reply
nannyde 05:13 PM 06-06-2013
She needs a NO everywhere she goes. If she's going to raise him to act like an animal then the world will just reject him. If she calls back tell her the TRUTH.
Reply
blandino 05:17 PM 06-06-2013
I had an interview with a family that sounds just like this boy. He was like a tornado. Everywhere he went, destruction followed. I had never seen anything like it. He was 26 months old, and had the self-control and listening ability of someone under 1. His mom thought he was hilarious. She said at home she will find him walking on the counter top, and when she asks him about it he says "Mommy I climbed" - and he thought that was just hilarious.

I was dying to just get him out of my house.
Reply
Laurel 07:09 PM 06-06-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She needs a NO everywhere she goes. If she's going to raise him to act like an animal then the world will just reject him. If she calls back tell her the TRUTH.


I would tell her the absolute truth. Somebody has to tell her. Wow.

Laurel
Reply
Leigh 08:13 PM 06-06-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:


I would tell her the absolute truth. Somebody has to tell her. Wow.

Laurel
Funny, but they never BELIEVE the truth-the problem is ALWAYS the provider, never the total lack of parenting.
Reply
Happy Hearts 08:17 PM 06-06-2013
I just remembered this..... she doesn't nap him so that he will go to bed at 6:30!!! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't help it, she got my WTF face.
Reply
Leigh 08:33 PM 06-06-2013
Originally Posted by Happy Hearts:
I just remembered this..... she doesn't nap him so that he will go to bed at 6:30!!! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't help it, she got my WTF face.
Oh, good God. What is up with these parents who haul their kids through the front door then head straight to their bedrooms?
Reply
TheGoodLife 09:09 PM 06-06-2013
I'm not sure why you even agreed to the 2 week trial in the first place That kind of behavior (and parenting) is not something you want to deal with!
Reply
Cradle2crayons 09:26 PM 06-06-2013
Sounds like e interview I had a few weeks ago.

I don't have openings right this minute but I still interview. I was interviewing for my ONE preschool position I'm offering school hours and days ONLY. He's 3.5 and at his current provider he's vegetating watching tv etc and mom heard about my program. She seems like a very supportive mom and actually wanted four day preschool instead of five because on Friday is her mom son day every week. Wonderful thing that most parents don't so.

So she brought the younger 14 month old brother and also asked about overnight date night drop ins which I do Ina limited basis. Fine, still no problems.

Then she sees my menu in the kitchen " oh preschool boy won't eat x y and z etc etc" and " oh he cants eat strawberries" and " oh he doesn't do quiet time" and then lastly she informs me at he doesn't wear underwear. He is fully pot trained but she said he doesn't like and won't wear underwear.

So about the time my jaw shut, mom is sitting down and picks him up to help him onto the couch, and in the process somehow catches his package on the seams of his jean shorts, hurting him.

She seems to be easy on the payment issues because she wanted to contract to pay two weeks at a time a week ahead which is rare in my area. She has no problem with my half day preschool rate, etc. but the feeding issue, nap issue, undies issue etc bothered me.

But his little brother, the one they wanted drop in care for. Oh. My. Gosh. He was like speedy Gonzales. He was zooming everywhere, after animals, throwing my handbook papers everywhere, you name it.

Lots just say I got the huge feeling hat, although she may enjoy spending time with her kids because she could ignore and overlook the bad behavior, I can't and won't do that.

Needless to say, I had to become suddenly "full" after that interview. Lol
Reply
daycarediva 03:44 AM 06-07-2013
There are some crazies out there!

I would have cut the interview short and stopped wasting everybody's time.

"Dcm based on what you have told me about dcb, I don't think he will be a good fit for my program. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to the other children. Best of luck to you." Remove paperwork, smile HUGE and stick out your hand for a shake. It shocks most of them until they are at least out the door.
Reply
MissAnn 04:02 AM 06-07-2013
Update? Did you call her?
Reply
My3cents 04:22 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She needs a NO everywhere she goes. If she's going to raise him to act like an animal then the world will just reject him. If she calls back tell her the TRUTH.


I was thinking the same thing why would you even entertain a two week trial.

Then again I think we have all been there and want to think the best in people even when the red flags are surrounding us making a border-
Reply
My3cents 04:24 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by Happy Hearts:
I just remembered this..... she doesn't nap him so that he will go to bed at 6:30!!! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't help it, she got my WTF face.
many parents believe this...... they don't understand that naps make for good sleep at night- UGH!
Reply
Laurel 04:42 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Funny, but they never BELIEVE the truth-the problem is ALWAYS the provider, never the total lack of parenting.
I would probably just say that it isn't a good fit because his behavior is out of control. I can't have him hitting children. Sorry, it won't work out. If she persisted, I would just repeat Sorry, his behavior is out of control as many times as necessary.

She doesn't have to believe me she just has to leave.

Laurel
Reply
KIDZRMYBIZ 10:32 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by Happy Hearts:
I just remembered this..... she doesn't nap him so that he will go to bed at 6:30!!! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't help it, she got my WTF face.
I'm telling you...it's an epidemic! I have had 4 sets of parents now that do that: pick up at 5:30, dinner and bath and in crib/bed by 6:30 and not let out until 6:30/7:30 next morning. Of course the poor kids are a mad mess because of it.
Reply
Leigh 10:48 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by KMK:
I'm telling you...it's an epidemic! I have had 4 sets of parents now that do that: pick up at 5:30, dinner and bath and in crib/bed by 6:30 and not let out until 6:30/7:30 next morning. Of course the poor kids are a mad mess because of it.
Is this some sort of new parenting movement? I have a little one that is seriously screwed up-I really believe it is from having NO bonding time with parents. They put her to bed at 6PM. She sleeps until 8AM. If she wakes at 6AM, they put her back to bed. I gave them a print out just a couple of days ago with kids' sleep needs on it. I told them that she MUST nap here. She can not handle going that long without a nap at her age. They say she doesn't need to nap, and had her in bed for 14 hours again last night (dad told me this at drop-off-said she shouldn't need a nap, she had lots of sleep last night). Buh-bye. I already have her things packed for their pickup tonight.
Reply
BABYLUVER21 10:56 AM 06-07-2013
LOL as a former provider AND a parent:

I learned the hard way when I purposely let my kids stay up one night til midnight so they could sleep past 6am the next morning (sounds like a great plan) since I had a paper to write, that this "sleep deprivation" thing DOES NOT WORK.

I thought I'd get to sleep in the next morning. NOPE! The kids both woke up at 6am promptly, just like any other day! I could not believe it! Then on top of it, they were cranky as heck!

Never again did I deprive them of sleep. I kept them on their exact schedules from that day on and never had another problem. And I never once budged on the daycare nap schedule because I had learned that it was foolish to do so. I was asked and then I'd share my story and the parents would be like "OHHHHH" and so stopped requesting me to deprive them of nap. Yes, their child up til 8, but that made for less cranky baby the next day. lol
Reply
KIDZRMYBIZ 11:49 AM 06-07-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Is this some sort of new parenting movement? I have a little one that is seriously screwed up-I really believe it is from having NO bonding time with parents. They put her to bed at 6PM. She sleeps until 8AM. If she wakes at 6AM, they put her back to bed. I gave them a print out just a couple of days ago with kids' sleep needs on it. I told them that she MUST nap here. She can not handle going that long without a nap at her age. They say she doesn't need to nap, and had her in bed for 14 hours again last night (dad told me this at drop-off-said she shouldn't need a nap, she had lots of sleep last night). Buh-bye. I already have her things packed for their pickup tonight.
I, too, gave pamphlets from a nearby resource center on healthy sleep patterns for all ages of kids. They "p-shawed" it, so I just learned how deal with it myself. The parents are otherwise respectful (pick up/pay on time), and I love their kids, so I do want to keep them as clients. I knew they were waking around 5am or so and just playing in bed, so I put them down for a short morning nap (which they should have long since outgrown), and they do rest mostly quietly for afternoon naps even if they don't sleep then (poor tykes are used to laying in bed for hours on end so an hour at daycare is no biggie!). They're happier, I'm happier, and the parents continue in ignorant bliss.
Reply
Happy Hearts 03:10 PM 06-07-2013
I'm the OP. I've tried to call her 3 times already today. Just an answering machine. I think she knows it's me and isn't answering.
Reply
Josiegirl 06:06 PM 06-14-2013
Course she puts him to bed at 6:30. She doesn't want to deal with his behavior. Sad really. He isn't being taught to behave and will find life difficult at every corner. I wouldn't be surprised if, when they get home from work, he's plunked down in front of television, eats supper, bathes and goes to bed. Is there any parent/child bonding time? And he's only going to get worse.

To have that child in your daycare would be your worst nightmare, even for only 2 weeks.
Reply
Starburst 01:39 PM 06-15-2013
I think some parents don't understand how bad their child's behavior really is until they either see other kids who don't behave that way or until someone points out "That's not normal!" I don't really like the word "Normal" when it comes to kids as every child is different but there are some things where its like "Do you really think this is okay for young kids to do? Really?!"

Hopefully now she understands that his behavior is unacceptable and is trying to change it. Maybe she is too embarrassed by his behavior (or hers) from that day to pick up the phone.
Reply
Tags:bad behavior - extreme, bad fit, interview - from hell, red flag
Reply Up