In mid October I interviewed a family for an infant position. They said they would let me know by Thanksgiving. I was ok with that since I wasn't actively looking to fill the spot anyway. In the meantime another family contacted me and I interviewed with them mid November. I never heard from the first family By Thanksgiving or the following weekend. Family #2 did want the spot so I took their deposit. Of course Family #1 just contacted me with an "I just realized we didn't get back to you to confirm the spot. I'll take a look at the paper work you have us and send you what you need to get set up for January".

I'm not great with words, so I am hoping to get some help with wording to let her know the spot is no longer available.

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Dear family,
Thank you for your interest in my daycare. Unfortunately, spots are first come first served and the spot that was previously open has now been filled. I can add yu to my existing waiting list if you are interested. Thanks again. It was a pleasure to meet your family.

Sincerely,
Provider who got tired of waiting

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I would just state it as, "I am sorry, but after not hearing from you by our agreed upon time of Thanksgiving, I had another interested family sign on. If you would be interested in being part of my wait list, I can let you know if another suitable spot comes available."

If they really wanted the spot, they would have jumped on it, not assumed you would wait an additional month. Sorry! Snooze you lose! But the option of the waitlist does keep them in the running in case anything falls through,

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Thank you both for the input! I definitely preferred the second family, but I just hate disappointing people. She definitely should have let me know. No doubt about it. I still feel bad about it though. I know I shouldn't. Just the nature of the beast that comes with being a care provider.

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I like this one. Be as polite as possible. You never know if they'll keep you in mind later down the road.

I would also add to this letter:

"May I suggest that you call 555-123-4567, which is our county's Resource & Referral agency. They will be able to match your needs with other licensed Providers in our area. You may also be able to find someone in the classified ads section of The Daily Bugle, our local newspaper."

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Oh, don't take it too hard. It's just nice to be in demand! The only reason I mentioned on my response that you did wait until Thanksgiving was that you were remaining true to YOUR word at time, not to rub it in. I mean, you did hold the spot until that time, but not hearing from them by then cost them the spot. I just think if they interviewed so early, they might have the misconception that you were okay to hold it for an indefinite amount of time. But otherwise, I like the previous poster's letter too. We were just typing at the same time. Good luck!

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I wanted to second being very polite about it! I had a situation years ago that is STILL biting me in the butt because I was so shocked the family called me back after months that I sounded "abrupt" It has continued to make things awkward years later - and it doesn't help that this family is particularly well liked and well connected in our small town

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I recently had a somewhat similar situation. First time mom, only needed like 9 days PER MONTH so I wasn't overly enthusiastic because I didn't think baby would adjust well. But, I really needed the spot filled so I spoke with her multiple times and ended up emailing her my contract and phb to look over with her dh. I had not heard for a few weeks if they wanted to come for an interview and had someone else who did and wanted their kids to start Dec. 2. I took family 2 and even though I didn't have to I made sure to send mom a text that said "I am assuming you are not interested in the spot but, in case you were, I wanted to let you know that I have filled both spots I had available. I hope all is well with your family and the baby. Thank you so much for your initial interest!". I did this since when I was on maternity leave when DS1 was an infant I waited til the very last minute to find someone simply because I think I was in denial. In case the situation was similar I didn't want her holding out hope that I had a spot available. I think it is the nice thing to do.

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