Just interview with a family that I really REALLY need. The kids were great and I think there is a lot of potential. The oldest (6) is very bright and a GIRL! (we have all boys here except dd and our oldest who has CP and doesn't get to do the girly things my DD wants) the other is a little boy who is the same age as my dd. Both are a little delayed on speech but otherwise seem developmentally on target. The only things are that 3 days out of the week they need to drop off an hour before I open. I'm NOT a morning person and I really like being able to take my (sort of) time in the morning after dd wakes up. She gets up at 6 and we just kind of snuggle in bed and try to be as lazy as possible before our busy day. Also the mother admitted to being overprotective and asked a TON of questions. Mostly I appreciate it because I would do the same, but when we were out in the yard with the kids during the interview she asked me "what my husband does." I had to tell her that I was a single mom and mentioned that its just me and my daughter but in a few months my BF is going to be moving in, and he's already been approved as a resident and sub by MSDE. It was then that I got a judgmental vibe from her. I almost can't imagine how she will react when she see's my BF or finds out what he does for a living (hes a tattoo artist and naturally has A LOT of tattoos). None of my other parents mind at all and I am very comfortable standing by my hours and also who we are as a family but this family made me feel kind of uncomfortable. So tell me what I already know... Is this a family I want or not?? Like I said. Kids are great and my daughter REALLY liked them. I know that I can't have a connection with all my families because this is a business... idk. Am I thinking too much into it?

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I can only answer what I'd do. I'm NOT a morning person either, and in fact I sleep in until literally 15 min before my first kid comes. I would probably begin to resent the family every time I heard that alarm go off a whole HOUR early just for them.

With the overprotective and alleged disapproval vibe regarding your boyfriend, I see that as problems down the road. You'll always be over-explaining things that happen because you know (or think you know) how she secretly feels about him and his tattoos. You'll never feel fully comfortable that she isn't judging you guys.

Unless it's a huge financial emergency, I'd pass.

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I would continue advertising and interviewing. Did she indicate when she was looking to start the kids? If she calls you, I would tell her that you are still interviewing other families regarding the openings and you'll get back to her as soon as you decide who is the best fit for your program.

As for getting up an hour early, how early would they be getting dropped off? Any way you can lay them both back down until the rest of the group comes?

In the past I had a dcg come 3 days a week at 615am. No other kids arrived until 8am. She went back to sleep everyday until 745am and still took a great afternoon nap. She was almost 5 when she left here and still took both a morning and an afternoon nap.

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Ugh. Right now I have one family that comes at 7:00, and the rest at 7:45.

When we first took the family, we had lots of others coming at 7:15-7:20, so it wasn't a big deal at all. Now, it is super irritating. Aside from liking them a whole lot, and needing the money this summer, it is a total drag. I am SO not a morning person, so it always kills me to know that I could have slept in longer.

So it just depends, if you think once you are full and not needing their money so much - is it just going to irritate you when they come that early ? It would me. But I can also say, that earlier this summer I was contemplating watching a child 30 min after we close, just because things were looking so bleak for this summer. So I get where you are coming from. Would it make it easier for you to get up 1 hr earlier, if they had a higher rate ? If you think they might pay for overtime ?!?

Do you want to guess my anger level when DCD didn't bring her in until 9:00 last Friday, with no notice ? I sat alone for 45 minutes.

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My hours are from 7:30-5:30 and they want to drop off at 6:30 3 days a week. They also wont pick up until 5:30 on the dot, and sometimes (just found out at interview) even later if they get stuck in traffic. So 3 days a week that's an 11+ hour day. I just talked to my boyfriend about it and after vocalizing my concerns I think I'm going to pass on this family. He reminded me that I'm already tired all the time and honestly I don't get paid enough for those hours, even WITH the overtime. The amount that I would feel would justify that extra hour isn't something I would be comfortable asking a family. And I really really REALLY love the relaxing family bonding time we get in the morning after dd gets up, where we bring her into our bed and just snuggle and talk and do NOTHING for a while before our busy day. Heck, even when I go downstairs at 7:20, she generally ops to stay in bed with Bobby and just relax. When I turn on the light to get ready she always tells me "no morning no yet MOMMA!" I think that would be the most devastating part is not having the time with her in the morning. That's why I set my hours originally and even started this career. So I think I'm going to have to pass. Now the only issue is HOW to pass on them. What to say..

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I'd say just what you told us... That you are unable to accommodate the earlier drop off and that your open time isn't negotiable.

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How old is your daughter? If you are feeling the judgmental vibe from DCM, is there a chance your daughter might pick up on it? I think it's really important to choose clients who you feel comfortable with... so you don't have to "explain" your way of doing things... and so your daughter doesn't start to wonder if there's something bad about Mom's boyfriend, or tattoos, or the fact that her dad is not in the picture, know what I mean? It's not worth it for the money or the nice kids--the kids and the parents are a package deal, and you'll have to weigh all of it to make your decision!

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I'm sorry, but after careful consideration I will not be able to accommodate the hours you need- I open at 7:30. It was great meeting you and your family, good luck in your daycare search. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

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I'm not sure if I would cite the hours as my reason because she may decide she can get someone to drop off later if she really wants to come to you.

I would probably say that I'm sorry but I don't think this arrangement is going to work out. You really don't need to say more. She also might be picking up late, ugh, that would be a pain to wonder every day if they were going to come late or not.

Laurel

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thats way too many hours in daycare. I would keep advertising. I already know whats going to happen---she'll drop on tim and pick up time and then slowly the hours will become longer and longer.

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I enjoyed meeting with you and your lovely children. I think they would be a good fit for my program, but at this time I cannot accommodate the hours you need. I wish you the best of luck in your search for child care. I have enclosed the number to the local CRR&R office to assist you.

Thank you,
Me

11+ hours is what she is saying, with the POSSIBILITY of more....what I am hearing is 12. EEK!

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One thing I am wondering is, how can you possibly call yourself overprotective when you entrust someone, a stranger, with your children for 11+ hours every day? I don't know how that line of thinking works. I AM overprotective. You know how I know? I am staying home with my kids because I want to be with them for the better part of their younger years and I do not trust very many people with them, and certainly no one that isn't family. That is overprotective. I know it. I own it. I chose a profession that caters to that line of thinking.

It sounds like this mom is using overprotective as a synonym for being a "pain in the you-know-what" rather than the actual meaning. That aside, the judgement on your lifestyle and the needing you to open an hour earlier PLUS casually mentioning that she may be late (which means she will be late, ALL THE TIME), would cause me to immediately say, "We are not a fit, good luck in your search." Great kids come and go; you really need to be on the lookout for good parents and people that fit with the program and hours you have already set. I hope you find that.

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I totally agree with this. It is almost a lazy version if being overprotective. The parent isn't going to do any of the work that goes into it, they are just going to be really picky about what the person they choose does with their child.

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I would not take them. I tired this one time and it did not work. Enjoy the snuggle time with your daughter while you can before you know it you will be rushing around in the morning to get her off to school.

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Thanks. You guys are definitely right. I'm going to pass.

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