Hi

I have a child who has been in my care since he has been one. I have been doing daycare for 2 1/2 yrs and this child has been with me from the beginning. Because I was new to this business I told the parent that I will take the subsidy money and she doesn't have to pay any money. (stupid mistake). Anways she was happy that she was getting free daycare, and it didn't really bother me either. but now the child has turned 3 and the subsidy rate has gone down, and I am asking the parent to pay the remainder starting April 1. (a very small portion) she has been giving me the run around, she paid up finally but she has started to be rude with me. I am surprised with her behaviour, she was fine the last 2 yrs and now she has to pay up and she's been very disrespectful.

I do not wish to continue this kind of relationship with her. I need advice on what to do with this situation.

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How disrespectful of her! So you have had a good relationship with her prior to this? Would you feel comfortble talking with her about it? Maybe tiptoeing around the subject & gently saying something like "lately I have noticed you don't seem to treat me the same & I wondered if something was wrong? Are you unhappy with my care? Hopefully saying something non-confrontational such as that could open the door to discussing the real issue. Matters of $$$ are never easy to discuss in my opinion. I guess I should ask is the behavior so bad that you want to terminate?

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Hi

The parent has just begun being rude, not directly to me but through her child. It's all just begun after the payment changes. I will not settle for $550.00 a month when I have other parents who are paying way more, and I feel i'm not being fair to the other parents. Since the change she has begun critizing through her son of how much he learns in daycare and that he should be able to read small words. I told her she needs to enroll him in pre-school if she wants her son to learn how to read and write at the age of 3. Daycare and pre-school are totally different. She is infact considering enrolling her son in pre school but she doesn't want to pay the extra fee, she's nagging at me to begin teaching him.

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Find out what the cost of the pre school is, then figure out the difference between your cost and theirs, and when she brings it up, just plaster on a big fake smile (think of that guy BOB from the enzyte commercials) and say "When you start paying me to operate a educational setting, I will. Until then, your child will be kept safe in a clean environment and fed nutritious meals, just like you're paying for".

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In my contract it states that that childcare is $______, any and all fees that state subsidy does not cover is the responsibility of the parent/s. If entire amount of tuition and fees are not paid then care will be suspended or terminated.

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To be honest, I would just terminate her.

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I had a Mom tell me I need to teach her 2 yr old daughter letters & numbers because she does not have time to do it at home.
She said if she was in a "REAL DAYCARE" she would be taught and a "REAL DAYCARE" would do all the potty training.

I reminded her if she was in a "REAL DAYCARE" her copays would not be $302 behind, If she was in a :REAL DAYCARE" C&Y would of been called when you told me not to feed your baby because you are not gonna use your food stamps to buy more babyfood than wic gives you.
If you were in a "REAL DAYCARE" your a$$ would not be transported for free.
If you were in a "REAL DAYCARE" your kids would not be eating steak, shrimp, crab, porkchops and food like that.
And if you were in a real daycare your a$$ would of been terminated with all the crap you pull.
If you were in a "REAL DAYCARE" your child would not have had new coats the last 2 years, have gone garge saleing or get things on our bi-weekly trips to Target.

She shut up and said nothing else. lol.

She says I am not a real daycare because I am not licenced.
I have no teaching degree but do work with the children on letters, numbers and colors in daily lives. If you want education pay for Preschool.

I just wish she would leave like she threatens to do so I can take her to court for my back money.

Sorry had to vent.

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Being licensed has nothing to do with being a "real daycare", and don't ever let anyone try to tell you otherwise. What counts is the quality of care a daycare gives, imo. She sounds like a poor excuse for a mother and talks a lot of crap.

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I agree with Mac60. Licensing has nothing to do with it. I actually had another parent who thought like this but she used a different criteria to decide who had a legitimate daycare and who did not. She was calling around for prices and only asked one other question. She asked if I have a bachelors degree or higher in teaching or early childhood. I gave her my answer (no, but here's what I do have, blah, blah, blah) and then she says, "I don't think people without at least 4 year degrees have any business asking for as much as those who don't have a degree." Then something about it being price gouging and it taking a lot of nerve, etc. Then she asked for me to LOWER MY PRICE since I'm underqualified to recieve such steep rates. That just blew me away. I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but she got quite piece of my mind before I hung up. I don't deal with people like that. Her kid could be a superbaby that changes it's own diapers and teaches the other children to read, and that woman could pay me 10 times my rate and it still wouldn't be enough to entice me to have to deal with her looking down on me and treating me like I'm a dog to be thrown scraps from her table. It's been about a year since she called and I'm still mad!

My point, anyone with an attitude like that gets promptly straightened out and/or sent packing.

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Yes I agree, sounds to me like the mom wants a free ride and is lacking in appreciation. Do you have your families on a contracts? Please say you do. You do not know how much trouble you'd be saving yourself if they were all on contracts. Be specific too. I also have a clause in there about how if subsidy does not cover everything that the parent's are required to pay the difference. You never know when their rates might change such as if she was to get a raise, promotion, more hours etc. and your payment goes down even more and then you're stuck again. Get her on a contract with these terms included and if she refuses or gives her the run-around tell her that you will no longer be able to offer care for her.

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Just cuz someone has a degree doesn't mean they have a clue, or are worth more.

I have a cousin with her Master's, she teaches kindergarten. She makes about half what I do.

And you know what? She's overpaid for her brains. She is dumber than a post.

But that's a whole different rant about schooling.....our current system isn't about education or knowledge, but short term memorization and regurgitation.

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What makes you say this???

It's 4:30a and I'm waiting for my first one to show up. Read this and started laughing. This is a major pet peeve of Chickenhauler's. You compare our schooling background and I did "so much better". I couldn't tell you a quarter of what I learned in high school, let alone in a single subject (say History). I learned how to go to school and pass tests. Retention wasn't something they stressed, checked or taught. This guy knows lots about lots of stuff, and has retained tons of knowledge.

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So true! My degree is in Psychology, and my dear husband thinks we should never get into any arguments because I should USE MY EDUCATION to figure out what he is REALLY thinking/feeling inside...yeah right, I never even used it to figure out my own quirks!
ps hubby IS joking when he says this!

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Exactly! Education is way over rated, imo. I don't have a college degree of any type, but I have a few years of experience. Parents have always seemed pleased with how I handle things, employers have commented on my ability, etc. I am a preschool teacher at a small private preschool. I admit, my confidence takes a nose-dive at times (especially when things get chaotic) and I tell myself that someone who has been to school and received their degree could do a better job than me. That's one plus-side I can see to having a degree, to bolster your self-esteem. But so much of the time, my experience has been that someone with a degree has no common sense at all and yet freely give put-downs, mixed in with some sweet sounding comment so no one else catches on to what they're doing. Is that the difference between a degree and no degree? I don't mean anything against people who have a college degree, my main point was: Does it really make that much of a difference as it pertains to a person's ability to teach a 2-5 yr old just because they have spent thousands of dollars to receive their Early Childhood Education degree? If you're still following NAEYC guidelines, what's the difference?

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This is SO true!

That'd be me as well. And I wasn't a happy camper in school once I picked up on the fact that I was unable to retain most of the stuff they were "teaching" me long-term.. yet I could make straight A's standing on my head whenever I felt like it. In school I learned to listen, memorize, test, get praise, forget nearly all of it, repeat. But outside of school, anything I studied on my own, my retention was great. I started college thinking it might be different since I'd be studying something I'm interested in. Nope. I fell straight back into my old habits despite the fact that I had been studying the same stuff (Early Childhood) on my own through the library with great interest for over a year before that. I stopped taking classes and started studying on my own again and after a short break I bounced back just as in love with this field as I was in the beginning. Now I have a nearly 4.0 GPA with my first year of classes done and just absolutely no desire to continue. It just seems like a tremendous waste for me. Life is short. It's only a piece of paper and in the end I know I learn more outside of school than in. If I did complete it it'd be to impress others because I know it wouldn't really mean a thing. I'd much rather be here in the real world with my children every day reading up on everything on my own. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

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are there educated people who are completely stupid? absolutely!

do uneducated people make themselves look stupid by criticizing education? absolutely!

my husband (who owns a landscaping business, but can't spell the word landscaping) often tells me, "to be so smart, you sure are dumb!"

of course, he's joking (kind of) about me being educated and being dumb when it comes to things like, oh....stripes in a yard or how a motor works. i make fun of him for not being able to spell ANYTHING! it's all in good fun, of course.

i've said this before, but my grandmother (with almost no education - like 6th grade at best) who raised six children and helped raise 20 grandchildren knew more about kids than i did with a degree in Early Childhood. Education doesn't trump experience, but that doesn't mean education AND experience aren't super valuable.

ANYHOW - as far as the parent with a subsidy - she obviously can't afford daycare or she wouldn't have qualified for the subsidy. have you thought of contacting the agency to see if they would pay more since your rates have increased? often times they will pay more. i would ask to see if that would settle the problem first. also, not to excuse her attitude, but her attitude probably has a lot to do with the fact that she can't pay you - and was under the impression after 2.5 years that she was stable with her situation. from my experience, people with daycare assistance also receive food stamps, housing assistance, etc. i don't think there's anything wrong with that because obviously if they need childcare then at least they ARE working - but they are broke. an extra 5 or 10 bucks per week means an extra 20 or 40 per month. that can be a lot to someone who makes minimum wage and gets assistance. i had a landlord once who charged me 450 when my daughter's father and i were together. when she found out that we broke up, she told me i only had to give her 400. i was working as a waitress at pizza hut - and that 50 dollars made a big difference to me, even if it didn't to her (it paid my water bill, basically).

just try to put yourself in her shoes - even the shoes she was in when you first met and made an agreement. then, try to contact the agency who assists with daycare. that's just MY OPINION.

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WOW! Just WOW!

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Do educated people make themselves look bad when they brag? Absolutely!

It works both ways, girl. Uneducated people have the right to express their disapproval of education, and in my opinion, it does NOT 'make them look stupid'.
You seem to me to be a perfect example of someone who paid for brains solely for the purpose of bragging rights.
I have over a decade of education under my belt. I do not look down on anyone who does what we do well. I am remiss for the money I've paid, and have nothing but paper to show for it.
Get over yourself, honey.

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i don't see one thing in that post that was a "brag." i said there are stupid people that are educated. i also said when someone says education is "a waste of time" or "a piece of paper" they look equally stupid. why are people allowed to say that education is a waste of time, useless, etc. and it's okay? but when someone who disagrees, and god forbid is educated says NOT getting an education is a waste of time, etc. they are "bragging" or "being insulting" or "looking down on people." i find it insulting when people tell me i wasted my time and education means nothing. i also find it hilarious cus i know whoever says that knows they're full of it.

what's funny is that most people who show disapproval of the education system in general or think it's a "waste of time" usually went to college, but realized it was too much work so they quit.

and anyone who DID finish college - and ESPECIALLY if they went for over a decade would not look at their education as "nothing but paper." if that's the case, i would hate to think it took over a decade and thousands in debt before the realization that it was all for nothing.

i smell bologna.

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I don't necessarily think it was just "one post" that was being pointed out, but a collection of many lately. jmo

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good pizza,...

thats what my family always said around the dinner table when a conversation seemed to get a bit heated. We all respected and cared enough for the others to move on. =-)

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Here is the deal...I don't recall anyone using the words "stupid" or other similar insults except in retaliation of your posts. You come off as rude and condescending and I think that many of the individuals on this board are becoming tired of your snobbery. I know I am.

And, as far as education being a waste of time. No, of course not. However, the biggest thing that I learned in college was to evaluate agruements from both sides, to try and look at every situation from a cultural and socio-economic standpoint before coming to conclusions and to refrain from using my set of values to evaluate others. It seems you've missed the boat.

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I think an education is important but not enough to "brag" about it. I will admit that I have mentioned that I have a degree (it's not ebven in Early Childhood Ed!) but I apologize if I offended anyone by "bragging" about it. That was never my inention. My only intent by mentioning it was that I sometimes feel looked down upon on here b/c I am not licensed (which is legal in my state). I feel sometimes that some providers think unlicensed means kids are set in front of the tv, fed McDonald's & not looked after properly. That is the only reason I ever mentioned it. I'm sorry if I ever made anyone feel bad.

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I don't think anyone is referring to you!!! I know that I am not AT All!!!!

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Me Either!

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I agree with this and we're from the same state. I definitely do not set my kids in front of a t.v. but do I have a ECE degree or any other? NOPE. But do I have serious common sense AND years of experiece? YES! That is the equivalent to me in this industry and whether anyone else agrees with my opinion, I really don't give a rat's patooty! :-) And, no I'm not pointing fingers but there has been some serious drama "within" this board lately. I get heated pretty quickly myself so I can't even say I don't partake but somewhere there has to be a fine line of saying "let's agree to disagree" and respect one another!

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You can call me stupid, but my degree has not helped me to do what I do. I have a job that requires it, and that's all. It makes me more money. It has not helped me in any way be better, smarter, more capable of anything else. You seem to think that it does. YOU ARE WRONG.
Your bragging is a constant flapping of opinionated posts that all amount to the following: "I have a degree, and therefore I must be held up to be something that you others aren't."
I will not bow to you, I see no need for it. It would only serve to annoy me if I had you on my staff.
Good Day.

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The purpose of this board (at least to me) is to support each other and learn from each other. We are all child care providers, no matter what our education and/or license status. No one would spend the time on this forum if they were parking kids in front of the tv all day, they'd have "better" things to do. Those of us who do spend time on here are looking for suppport, ideas,answers to questions a place to vent, sometimes just to hear from people that understand what our profession is really like.
In order to make a forum like this successful, and helpful to those it was created for, EVERYONE needs to be valued and respected as the professionals we all are. We may have different philosophies in how we do our business, but isn't that part of why it is so cool?!
Sometimes on this forum we tell how we messed up, talk about how things go badly...in order for us to do that, we need to feel confident that we won't be judged harshly and criticized. Yes, we all need the experience of others, and if you have something that works--please share your ideas, but please do so WITHOUT putting anyone else down We're a sensitive bunch

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Wow really late to this par-taayy!!! Well I'm going brag I have my degree, got it in 2.5 years, used it for 2 years, and now I'm a daycare provider!! Honesty Im glad my doctor Has a big old degree, not that he is perferct but man that was alot to learn.. Educated or not we are all people all deserve to be treated with respect. If you can't do that, then you have learned nothing in life!!! My husband doesn't have a degree but has alot of experience that has landed him a really great job!! He is very smart and talented!!

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Very well said!!

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if anyone wants to argue about the importance/unimportance of education, and you missed the boat on the "soiled underwear" thread - then you can always go back there and stir it back up.

OR you can PM me!

but i have said nothing here that was bragging or insulting - in fact, i pretty much said the same things everyone else said before i got called a bragger, lol.

i don't apologize for having a degree, mentioning that i have one, or saying that i DO think standards should be higher for daycare workers SO THAT pay can be higher. again, if u want to continue that discussion - go to that discussion!

call me a snob - that's cool - i call you obsessed.

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6 things that my education have gotten me:

1.)Respect, appreciation, and admiration from parents and colleagues and treatment as a PROFESSIONAL, not a babysitter.
2.)Higher pay
3.)A wonderful job as a Mentor Teacher for the State of Ca. and more locally 4 community colleges
4.)A job for our R&R as an Environmental Rating Scale Assessor
5.) A job as an Independent Consultant for Head Start
6.) A feeling of satisfaction, self-esteem and the awareness that I fully understand Developmentally Appropriate Practice and provide a higher level of Quality Early Care and Education because of that.

No, I don't have my degree, YET, (very close) but I can imagine things will only get even better once I do. And, yes, I still provide Child Care and Preschool with all of the other work I do....can't imagine not working with children.

So, YES, education DOES matter. And, YES, I'm bragging, but not in a mean way, I think everyone brags when they have accomplished things that are important to them.

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i don't know why i find it so funny that you (who says that i think i'm grand) said it would only serve to annoy you if you had me on your staff! LOL!

why on earth would i ever want or need to be a "staff member."

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You need to read my post a little more carefully before you go flying off on tangents like this. My earlier post on this thread was about MY experiences with school and then studying on my own. I want to make it clear to everyone that I did not belittle anyone else's degree nor did I bash education. Everything in that post was in relation to my own personal experience. There are no generalizations in there or judgements on anyone else. I don't appreciate you taking my post, twisting it and stating that I've made myself look stupid and implying that I quit college because it was too much work. Go back to the 'Soiled Underwear' thread and argue with yourself some more and leave me and my post out of your rants.

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Don't worry about it, everyone else here can read and didn't have any problem understanding your post.

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you do realize that a LOT of people have commented on this thread and the topic of education, the value or lack of value of it, etc. right?

so, i find it funny that you would think i was directing anything at you personally. that's a little egotistical, actually.

the only reason anyone would even suspect that i was talking about them is if they felt like what i said applied to the comments they've made - since i've referred to comments and thought processes in general (even outside of the people commenting here), but no comment or person in particular has been addressed by ME.

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I used to work at a center and as a lead teacher, I was expected to create weekly lesson plans for my toddler class. Cool, I can do that. Here's the rub...I didn't get to really create it at all! I was told what theme to write a lesson plan for, and I had to get it approved by another teacher. We all did! I hated it so much that I decided that I wanted to run my own daycare at home so that I could teach the kids in my care the way that I felt would benefit them most. Fast forward almost 6 years. I absolutely love my job because I get to decide what I will teach my kids and how I will do it! I have a college education in addition to CDA hours completed (120) and I have the completed portfolio. All that is left to do, really, is just to get someone to come to observe me and to take the test. It would be easy enough, but I'm not going to do it because it's not the education that I've chosen to use with the kids here. Yes, they learn the alphabet, counting, colors and shapes but I've also included much more and spent much more time focusing on the other subjects that I choose to educate them about. I have a group of kids who raise money twice a year to donate to places where it'ss needed the most. I have kids who know how to settle arguments without beating the crap out of each other. Yesterday we picked up litter around the neighborhood and the surrounding area. We also talked about fair trade and we talked about the benefits of buying used clothing and other things related to that. I didn't use my education for any of that. I just did it the way that I thought I should do it. Next week, my lesson plan is going to be about careers and I have people coming in to talk about their jobs each day. I have everything from a massage therapist/Reiki master to an electrical engineer. I also have a DJ/program director, a boat builder, a retail employee, a stay at home mom, and a nurse and I am still recruiting more people. Not all of these careers require a higher education degree. I guess the way I see it is that I wasted a lot of money on a college education that I don't use. Also, I really want to allow the kids in my care to use their imagination and to create before they go to school and get an education that is lacking, to put it mildly. Just listen to the lyrics of "The Logical Song" by Supertramp and that pretty much sums up how I feel. I just want to say that being "educated" doesn't automatically make a person a better fit. Like someone posted before, some people are just born to do this job! I'm one of those people. I just wish I would have known that before dropping a ton of money for the education that I don't really use for my profession. No offense to anyone who has a degree, that appeals to many people and that's cool. I'm just trying to give a different perspective. I know that I'm not a good fit for every family, and I am upfront about that during tours. I know that my brand of education isn't traditional. I'm teaching the kids in my care the stuff that I would want to have had my daughter taught back when she was in daycare. Also, there are subjects that the kids and I learn together. I don't know much about the different cultures in different countries, but I want to learn so the kids and I learn together. I think that education is very important, but there are many so many ways to be educated. I'm not trying to make anyone mad, just showing a different vantage point.

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Janet, I would send my child to you in a second...and not because of your degree!

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That was sweet!!! That made my day )

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Janet, I think you make great and valid points. I practice very similiarly to you. And, while I don't think it is neccessary to have a degree, I think that there are so many more opprotunities that come to us because of having an education in the field. I know all of the additional opportunities I have are because I have proven myself, but I NEVER could have done any of them without the education I have. I also know, that so many of us expect to be treated as professionals, with repsect for the work we do, but that is never going to happen without acting as professionals....one aspect of which is to continue formal education.

I am very glad I began working towards my degree when I did. Here in Ca. things are beginning to change, and the Dept. of Ed. is currently working on setting standards for programs, including Family Child Care. At some point (within the next year) there will be a quality "star" system. The more stars, the better quality....without formal education, you cannot even participate in the quality rating system....which will set programs apart and will be public information. I know I don't want to be one of the programs without any stars, as I would likely lose my business.

But, I do agree, there are MANY wonderful programs where the provider has never stepped in a college classroom and happens to be a natural at working with children, and I think there are many here who fill those shoes

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p.s. sorry for so many typos....in a hurry.....

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