Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is There A Way To Politely Tell Them To Leave The Older Sibling In The Car?
crazydaycarelady 04:24 PM 03-19-2014
Older 5yo brother comes in and immediately starts RUNNING around the table. Then they head towards the door but grab some of my liter of puppies (I am fostering them) toys and start squeezing the squeakers like a maniac, scaring the pups. Its 5:30........just pick up your kid and go.
I'll never understand. Don't they want to just get home? Why do they do things to drag out the pick-up like talking and bringing in the older sibs, especially when they are going to have to beg, plead, and bribe the older one to leave!
I'll never understand. Don't they want to just get home? Why do they do things to drag out the pick-up like talking and bringing in the older sibs, especially when they are going to have to beg, plead, and bribe the older one to leave!
hwichlaz 04:26 PM 03-19-2014
It's not safe to leave him in the car, but I'd have a discussion with them about the rules of your house and since he can't behave they must keep hold of him the entire time they are there. Or you'll start meeting them at the door with their youngest so they don't need to come inside at all.
Blackcat31 04:27 PM 03-19-2014
I tell ALL my parents that ONLY the legal parent/guardian and the enrolled child are covered under my insurance policy so any older siblings, friends and/or relatives that accompany them to pick up MUST remain in the car.
If mom doesn't want to leave the older one in the car unattended, tell her to text you before she arrives to pick up and you will have DCK get ready so she is only required to run to the door and grab him.
If mom doesn't want to leave the older one in the car unattended, tell her to text you before she arrives to pick up and you will have DCK get ready so she is only required to run to the door and grab him.
daycare 04:30 PM 03-19-2014
Check with your state rules. It is against the law to leave a child in a vehicle for any reason under the age of 15.
I had a huge issue with this last year. Make them wait on the porch.
I had a huge issue with this last year. Make them wait on the porch.
nannyde 04:48 PM 03-19-2014
They don't want to go home. They love the experience of being able to unleash the older one so they can have a free and fun time watching him get three kinds of crazy on your clock and at your expense.
There are so so so many parents who LOVE to have their kids get wild and crazy in public. They wish they could act like that and have that much fun. They adore seeing it and they really like not having to do anything but be in the audience. They want their kid to have a blast for free and seeing it makes them happy.
Tell them he can't come in. Just tell them the truth. I have three kids with older sibs and they don't bring them in at all. When the kids started I met them but did not let them past the front door. If I had toys or fun stuff out the kids would naturally want to come in and play. I have a normal living room with NOTHING for kids. This keeps any temptation at bay.
There are so so so many parents who LOVE to have their kids get wild and crazy in public. They wish they could act like that and have that much fun. They adore seeing it and they really like not having to do anything but be in the audience. They want their kid to have a blast for free and seeing it makes them happy.
Tell them he can't come in. Just tell them the truth. I have three kids with older sibs and they don't bring them in at all. When the kids started I met them but did not let them past the front door. If I had toys or fun stuff out the kids would naturally want to come in and play. I have a normal living room with NOTHING for kids. This keeps any temptation at bay.
Blackcat31 04:52 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
Check with your state rules. It is against the law to leave a child in a vehicle for any reason under the age of 15.
I had a huge issue with this last year. Make them wait on the porch.
Wasn't it you guys (Cali providers) that have to count ANYONE on your property in your ratios?Check with your state rules. It is against the law to leave a child in a vehicle for any reason under the age of 15.
I had a huge issue with this last year. Make them wait on the porch.
I recall this being an issue for someone last year about a DCM bringing other kids with her and how that put the provider over ratios so she had to figure out a way to have parents NOT bring other kids unless there was an adult to wait in car with them...
I can't recall all the details but I thought the provider was in Cali.
Michelle 05:09 PM 03-19-2014
It doesn't count at pick up time and parent is present
but good point
Now if the provider had a half dozen friends over during the day hanging out with all their kids and the providers daycare kids... then yes that would be over capacity.
Kids in car alone?
absolute no no!!!
not even for a minute
but good point
Now if the provider had a half dozen friends over during the day hanging out with all their kids and the providers daycare kids... then yes that would be over capacity.
Kids in car alone?
absolute no no!!!
not even for a minute
Margarete 05:10 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wasn't it you guys (Cali providers) that have to count ANYONE on your property in your ratios?
I recall this being an issue for someone last year about a DCM bringing other kids with her and how that put the provider over ratios so she had to figure out a way to have parents NOT bring other kids unless there was an adult to wait in car with them...
I can't recall all the details but I thought the provider was in Cali.
I asked about this from my licensing rep.Wasn't it you guys (Cali providers) that have to count ANYONE on your property in your ratios?
I recall this being an issue for someone last year about a DCM bringing other kids with her and how that put the provider over ratios so she had to figure out a way to have parents NOT bring other kids unless there was an adult to wait in car with them...
I can't recall all the details but I thought the provider was in Cali.
Specifically I asked about kids in care siblings coming over with parents (who are allowed to come in any time)
Birthday party, family gatherings, holiday parties, are other situations where I may have more children at my home then I'm licensed for
I was told that these are a non-issue as they are not in your care (also do not need all the associated paperwork that would require), and they have another adult responsible for them. That doesn't mean that another rep wouldn't have a different answer though.... I should verify with my current one, as mine has changed since I asked.
crazydaycarelady 05:24 PM 03-19-2014
If he were to stay in the car he would be in his car seat. Also I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
daycare 05:40 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wasn't it you guys (Cali providers) that have to count ANYONE on your property in your ratios?
I recall this being an issue for someone last year about a DCM bringing other kids with her and how that put the provider over ratios so she had to figure out a way to have parents NOT bring other kids unless there was an adult to wait in car with them...
I can't recall all the details but I thought the provider was in Cali.
it does not count if the parent is here and can take them home right away. HOWEVER, we are responsible for any chlid that is on our property should they get hurt. Actually any person that gets hurt on our property is our responsibility. I don't allow siblings not enrolled into my home. they can wait on the porchWasn't it you guys (Cali providers) that have to count ANYONE on your property in your ratios?
I recall this being an issue for someone last year about a DCM bringing other kids with her and how that put the provider over ratios so she had to figure out a way to have parents NOT bring other kids unless there was an adult to wait in car with them...
I can't recall all the details but I thought the provider was in Cali.
daycare 05:41 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Margarete:
I asked about this from my licensing rep.
Specifically I asked about kids in care siblings coming over with parents (who are allowed to come in any time)
Birthday party, family gatherings, holiday parties, are other situations where I may have more children at my home then I'm licensed for
I was told that these are a non-issue as they are not in your care (also do not need all the associated paperwork that would require), and they have another adult responsible for them. That doesn't mean that another rep wouldn't have a different answer though.... I should verify with my current one, as mine has changed since I asked.
I have to laugh. I was told NO, we can not be over for parties and what not. that if they come and it is obvious that it is NOT a pick up then we will be sited.I asked about this from my licensing rep.
Specifically I asked about kids in care siblings coming over with parents (who are allowed to come in any time)
Birthday party, family gatherings, holiday parties, are other situations where I may have more children at my home then I'm licensed for
I was told that these are a non-issue as they are not in your care (also do not need all the associated paperwork that would require), and they have another adult responsible for them. That doesn't mean that another rep wouldn't have a different answer though.... I should verify with my current one, as mine has changed since I asked.
cali rule number 1 ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR ANALYST NO MATTER WHAT
daycare 05:43 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
If he were to stay in the car he would be in his car seat. Also I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
IT IS also a safety issue. what if the child gets out of his seat and wonders off or gets out of the seat and another parent does not see the child when pulling up and hits them. I know these sound far fetched, but I believe that children should always be kept under supervision, especially the naughty ones...If he were to stay in the car he would be in his car seat. Also I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
daycare 05:49 PM 03-19-2014
last year I had an issue where a mom had two kids in my care that were sharing a full time spot. well the older kid was coming in with mom into the foyer and was being very naughty. mom was not taking control of the behavior so I said she needs to have her wait outside while you are picking up the little sister.
so the next day that the little sister was getting picked up dcm left the older sis in the car just parked a a house over.
long story short, the older sister was kicking the car window and screaming at the top of her lungs let me out let me out, she had gotten out of her seat and the child locks where on the door so she could not open it. one of my neighbors was in her garage and heard this. I had no clue that the older sibling was in the car, dcm sometimes left her with the dad or neighbor when she picked up., it was late and was dark out.
well the next thing you know dcm goes to her car and no older daughter. I hear screaming and I run out of my house. sure enough my neighbor comes out of her house with the older daughter starting to walk towards my house. I don't know this neighbor at all, we have never talked. the neighbor then starts yelling at dcm telling her that she called the police that what she did was illegal and it got all blown out crazy......
anyways..............that family is no longer here. and I made all families sign a car saftey form my state that stated that they were NOT to leave any child in the car at all for any length of time in or out of sight.
No more kids are being left in the car, they wait on the porch.
so the next day that the little sister was getting picked up dcm left the older sis in the car just parked a a house over.
long story short, the older sister was kicking the car window and screaming at the top of her lungs let me out let me out, she had gotten out of her seat and the child locks where on the door so she could not open it. one of my neighbors was in her garage and heard this. I had no clue that the older sibling was in the car, dcm sometimes left her with the dad or neighbor when she picked up., it was late and was dark out.
well the next thing you know dcm goes to her car and no older daughter. I hear screaming and I run out of my house. sure enough my neighbor comes out of her house with the older daughter starting to walk towards my house. I don't know this neighbor at all, we have never talked. the neighbor then starts yelling at dcm telling her that she called the police that what she did was illegal and it got all blown out crazy......
anyways..............that family is no longer here. and I made all families sign a car saftey form my state that stated that they were NOT to leave any child in the car at all for any length of time in or out of sight.
No more kids are being left in the car, they wait on the porch.
Margarete 05:56 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have to laugh. I was told NO, we can not be over for parties and what not. that if they come and it is obvious that it is NOT a pick up then we will be sited.
cali rule number 1 ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR ANALYST NO MATTER WHAT
I am only currently licensed for 8 (6 under 5), with 2 of my own it wouldn't take much to be over. I really do need to check with my current analyst. If he's got the same answer as yours and I want to host a party I'll just have to send in one of the provider on vacation forms for the day, as it would be a licensed exempt event.I have to laugh. I was told NO, we can not be over for parties and what not. that if they come and it is obvious that it is NOT a pick up then we will be sited.
cali rule number 1 ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR ANALYST NO MATTER WHAT
Childminder 05:57 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by :
I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I lived in a rural area and thought that at one time, till my car was stolen from my garage, an escaped prisoner walked away from a "Trustee Camp" miles away and ended up in my front yard mid day, a drunk knocked on my door at 3am after getting in a fight at a bar 6 miles away and running through the swamps and woods between my house and the main road. I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
One child I had, aged four, was left in his car seat in the truck while his dad ran in for just that one minute. The next thing we know the truck is hanging from a fence off of an embankment because the boy got out, threw it out of gear and it rolled. We had a backhoe that had to be hooked on the truck and pull him up.
Please do not encourage the parents to leave the boy in the car! All kinds of things could happen and because it's on your property you could be held liable. The best idea would be to have the younger child ready and do a hand off at the door. If asked why, tell the parent the truth and that the disruption is just too difficult for all concerned.
Michelle 06:33 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I lived in a rural area and thought that at one time, till my car was stolen from my garage, an escaped prisoner walked away from a "Trustee Camp" miles away and ended up in my front yard mid day, a drunk knocked on my door at 3am after getting in a fight at a bar 6 miles away and running through the swamps and woods between my house and the main road.
One child I had, aged four, was left in his car seat in the truck while his dad ran in for just that one minute. The next thing we know the truck is hanging from a fence off of an embankment because the boy got out, threw it out of gear and it rolled. We had a backhoe that had to be hooked on the truck and pull him up.
Please do not encourage the parents to leave the boy in the car! All kinds of things could happen and because it's on your property you could be held liable. The best idea would be to have the younger child ready and do a hand off at the door. If asked why, tell the parent the truth and that the disruption is just too difficult for all concerned.
Wow!I lived in a rural area and thought that at one time, till my car was stolen from my garage, an escaped prisoner walked away from a "Trustee Camp" miles away and ended up in my front yard mid day, a drunk knocked on my door at 3am after getting in a fight at a bar 6 miles away and running through the swamps and woods between my house and the main road.
One child I had, aged four, was left in his car seat in the truck while his dad ran in for just that one minute. The next thing we know the truck is hanging from a fence off of an embankment because the boy got out, threw it out of gear and it rolled. We had a backhoe that had to be hooked on the truck and pull him up.
Please do not encourage the parents to leave the boy in the car! All kinds of things could happen and because it's on your property you could be held liable. The best idea would be to have the younger child ready and do a hand off at the door. If asked why, tell the parent the truth and that the disruption is just too difficult for all concerned.
very good advise!
I recently visited Iowa for a friends wedding and the town I went to was really lax.. They left their keys in their car when running in the store with the kids in it, they never locked their front door, etc.
I couldn't believe it
I lock my door during the day and at night.
Would never leave kids/keys in car and would have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if I saw someone that did.
I guess everybody has different comfort levels.
As far as finding a polite way of asking parent to keep kids on porch
( assuming parents don't know how to make kid obey)
Maybe leave an etch a sketch toy or some toy that is an easy to put down type toy.. like those beads on a wire toy like at Dr. offices?
So that way it will be easy to just go once little brother is picked up.
Leigh 07:11 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
If he were to stay in the car he would be in his car seat. Also I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
I don't hesitate to reprimand. If the kid ran into my house and behaved that way, I would pick him up, park him behind his mom, and tell him that he stays THERE until his mother is ready to go. I had to recently do this with a crazy 4-year old (relative of daycare parent) that came along for pick up one day. Just picked him up, set him on the rug in my entryway, and told him that he needs to keep his feet on the rug until he leaves the house, and that at MY house, we do what grown ups tell us to do (his aunt had begged him to stop).If he were to stay in the car he would be in his car seat. Also I live in a rural area so there is no traffic, kidnappers, or anything around.
I guess it annoys me that these parents are putting me in the position to now have to discipline/reprimand their child after already doing that with 12 other kids all day. Where has the common sense gone?
cheerfuldom 08:54 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
They don't want to go home. They love the experience of being able to unleash the older one so they can have a free and fun time watching him get three kinds of crazy on your clock and at your expense.
There are so so so many parents who LOVE to have their kids get wild and crazy in public. They wish they could act like that and have that much fun. They adore seeing it and they really like not having to do anything but be in the audience. They want their kid to have a blast for free and seeing it makes them happy.
Tell them he can't come in. Just tell them the truth. I have three kids with older sibs and they don't bring them in at all. When the kids started I met them but did not let them past the front door. If I had toys or fun stuff out the kids would naturally want to come in and play. I have a normal living room with NOTHING for kids. This keeps any temptation at bay.
yup yup yupThey don't want to go home. They love the experience of being able to unleash the older one so they can have a free and fun time watching him get three kinds of crazy on your clock and at your expense.
There are so so so many parents who LOVE to have their kids get wild and crazy in public. They wish they could act like that and have that much fun. They adore seeing it and they really like not having to do anything but be in the audience. They want their kid to have a blast for free and seeing it makes them happy.
Tell them he can't come in. Just tell them the truth. I have three kids with older sibs and they don't bring them in at all. When the kids started I met them but did not let them past the front door. If I had toys or fun stuff out the kids would naturally want to come in and play. I have a normal living room with NOTHING for kids. This keeps any temptation at bay.
They see your house as a place for kids, like a playground. It never occurs to some parents that you wouldnt happily welcome in more kids for however long.....you love kids and love your job so much that you want to do it 24/7 right? (insert sarcasm) Parents think it is funny and/or cute to see jr racing around acting like an animal. Everything he does is special and entertaining and makes mom and dad laugh OR gives mom and dad extra time where someone else's house is getting trashed, not theirs. if they bring him in for daycare pickup and stretch out the car ride and the pickup, they only have to feed him and put him down for bed when they get home, not actually parent at all.
Second Home 03:55 AM 03-20-2014
Is there a way you can put up a gate so that tge child can not get near the puppies ?
All siblings are required to wait at my door wkth tbeir pafents shen pivking up . I guess I have been lucky to not have thzt crazy sibling .....yet .
All siblings are required to wait at my door wkth tbeir pafents shen pivking up . I guess I have been lucky to not have thzt crazy sibling .....yet .
Mister Sir Husband 04:25 AM 03-20-2014
I would politely ask them to control their child.. once. After this didn't work I would be more direct by telling them that their other kids running around my home is unacceptable and if they cannot control their kids, they can all wait in the car. Call me when your in my driveway and I will call you back when I have your child ready to go. And of course, if it takes me 10 min to do this, oh well. Mom can sit in her car with the unruly one or come in and control her children..
coolconfidentme 04:42 AM 03-20-2014
I have told a child firmly, "You are NOT enrolled in this DC so you cannot leave the doormat." When the child tried to go play I calmly told the DCM with arms folded, "He is your responsibility, not mine." A stern look helps, lol. Sometimes less is best idk...
Cat Herder 04:48 AM 03-20-2014
Why would you be polite to a Mother who ALLOWS her child to act this way in your HOME?
Give her a healthy dose of NO. Do it for society.
"If he can't behave in here, he needs to stay on the porch."
Give her a healthy dose of NO. Do it for society.
"If he can't behave in here, he needs to stay on the porch."
crazydaycarelady 07:56 AM 03-20-2014
This child would be in way more danger on the porch than in the car. On the porch would equate to on the loose! We cannot see the porch from the dcroom or the entryway either. I plan on just being stern with him next time. I am sooooo tired of these parents.
Originally Posted by :
if they bring him in for daycare pickup and stretch out the car ride and the pickup, they only have to feed him and put him down for bed when they get home, not actually parent at all.
I never understood why the parents didn't want to get home ASAP but it all makes sense now!if they bring him in for daycare pickup and stretch out the car ride and the pickup, they only have to feed him and put him down for bed when they get home, not actually parent at all.
hwichlaz 08:29 AM 03-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
IT IS also a safety issue. what if the child gets out of his seat and wonders off or gets out of the seat and another parent does not see the child when pulling up and hits them. I know these sound far fetched, but I believe that children should always be kept under supervision, especially the naughty ones...
Yeah, I've never met a 5 yo that couldn't unbuckle a belt.IT IS also a safety issue. what if the child gets out of his seat and wonders off or gets out of the seat and another parent does not see the child when pulling up and hits them. I know these sound far fetched, but I believe that children should always be kept under supervision, especially the naughty ones...
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:32 AM 03-20-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I have told a child firmly, "You are NOT enrolled in this DC so you cannot leave the doormat." When the child tried to go play I calmly told the DCM with arms folded, "He is your responsibility, not mine." A stern look helps, lol. Sometimes less is best idk...
I have told a child firmly, "You are NOT enrolled in this DC so you cannot leave the doormat." When the child tried to go play I calmly told the DCM with arms folded, "He is your responsibility, not mine." A stern look helps, lol. Sometimes less is best idk...
Crazy8 09:44 AM 03-20-2014
I had a sibling of one child almost get hit by another dcm's car one day last year!!! Both were in my home getting kids ready to leave, both parked in my driveway. One walks out while I am still discussing something with the other. Thankfully we were right by the front door because I just see a little blur as the first mom is backing out of my driveway and realize it is the other mom's 1st grade son who was in the car - he had just run behind the car that was pulling out. I don't even know how I saw it and screamed outside and delayed dcm from pulling out by a second. Was a very scary incident!!
So I wouldn't be comfortable telling a dcf to leave their older child in the car - but I would firmly let them know they are not allowed to leave the doorway or porch or whatever boundaries you set.
So I wouldn't be comfortable telling a dcf to leave their older child in the car - but I would firmly let them know they are not allowed to leave the doorway or porch or whatever boundaries you set.
Imagination's Creations 10:44 AM 03-20-2014
I was also going to say, it's not allowed here, nor is it really safe. I cared for a child who had a 7 year old sibling and she "accidentally" knocked the car in reverse and down the driveway she went. I didnt know she was in the car, but that was the last time that happened. Luckily, the kid also knew how to press the brakes! 
Blackcat31 12:12 PM 03-20-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Older 5yo brother comes in and immediately starts RUNNING around the table. Then they head towards the door but grab some of my liter of puppies (I am fostering them) toys and start squeezing the squeakers like a maniac, scaring the pups. Its 5:30........just pick up your kid and go.
I'll never understand. Don't they want to just get home? Why do they do things to drag out the pick-up like talking and bringing in the older sibs, especially when they are going to have to beg, plead, and bribe the older one to leave!
I am assuming that this 5 yr old sibling is in school since he does not attend your care?Older 5yo brother comes in and immediately starts RUNNING around the table. Then they head towards the door but grab some of my liter of puppies (I am fostering them) toys and start squeezing the squeakers like a maniac, scaring the pups. Its 5:30........just pick up your kid and go.
I'll never understand. Don't they want to just get home? Why do they do things to drag out the pick-up like talking and bringing in the older sibs, especially when they are going to have to beg, plead, and bribe the older one to leave!
If so, that means he is a school aged child.
He FULLY knows how to listen.
I don't think HE is the problem...I think the parent is.
I would tell the parent in NO uncertain terms to control their child or else.
(the "or else" part is up to you
)
crazydaycarelady 12:51 PM 03-20-2014
That is exactly right BC! It is a parent problem but I am going to step in and deal with it the next time it happens (prob tonight!)
CraftyMom 03:47 PM 03-20-2014
I would think a child waiting on the porch is a huge risk too. If it came to that I would gladly met the mom at the door for a quick hand off and older child doesn't have to get out of the car since mom is within sight
Lucy 07:17 PM 03-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
No more kids are being left in the car, they wait on the porch.
Not trying to be argumentative, but they can walk away from the porch easier than they can unbuckle/get out of a carseat, unlock and open the door, and walk away from the car. Just sayin'No more kids are being left in the car, they wait on the porch.
I'd rather have the kid in the car - car parked where the mom and/or I can see it from the living room window - and have the pick up be less than a minute so that there's really no time for something to happen.
daycare 08:11 PM 03-20-2014
Sorry I ahould be more clear. Porch with the door open parent and sibling stay on the porch I have child ready to go. Child can't come in and parent can stand on the foyer with door open if wanted.
Almost like bye bye outside.
Almost like bye bye outside.