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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Logged Out, Transition Times Have Become Difficult
Unregistered 08:30 AM 04-19-2012
I have a child in my care that just turned 2. This child is a very good child, yet very head strong. They have been in my care for about 5 months. The child just also had a new addition to their family back in February.

The parents have been telling me that the child is fine every morning at wake up, that is until they get into the car to come to my house. yesterday the child got here and was screaming that he wanted his jacket that he could not wear, because it was in the dirty wash. He screamed for almost 30 min after DCM dropped off. All over a jacket.

DCK was fine all day long. then at pick up everything was fine until DCK wanted to take his food home with him. When I said no, DCK screamed and cried.

Every day it has been like this for the last two or three weeks. The parents expressed to me that they are concerned why he is fine in the morning until they get him ready to come here. I don't know why and I wonder if they think that something happened here.
How do I talk to them about this and let them know that everything is ok? I really just don't know what to do or say right now and I am feeling a little down that I don't have an answer for them.

any advice??
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JenNJ 08:58 AM 04-19-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a child in my care that just turned 2. This child is a very good child, yet very head strong. They have been in my care for about 5 months. The child just also had a new addition to their family back in February.

The parents have been telling me that the child is fine every morning at wake up, that is until they get into the car to come to my house. yesterday the child got here and was screaming that he wanted his jacket that he could not wear, because it was in the dirty wash. He screamed for almost 30 min after DCM dropped off. All over a jacket.

DCK was fine all day long. then at pick up everything was fine until DCK wanted to take his food home with him. When I said no, DCK screamed and cried.

Every day it has been like this for the last two or three weeks. The parents expressed to me that they are concerned why he is fine in the morning until they get him ready to come here. I don't know why and I wonder if they think that something happened here.
How do I talk to them about this and let them know that everything is ok? I really just don't know what to do or say right now and I am feeling a little down that I don't have an answer for them.

any advice??
He is two. He is not reasonable. He let's his frustrations be known to anyone who pays them mind. He wants to stay with mom and dad, that's why he is yelling. They made the choice to put him in daycare, so they need to deal with it.

If they want the screaming and morning drama to stop, they need to IGNORE him. Get him dressed, put him in the car, and drop him off lovingly and QUICKLY. He will calm down QUICKLY with this method. If they feed the problem, it grows bigger, like anything else you feed.
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Ariana 09:15 AM 04-19-2012
I had a child that was 18 months and I swear her mood would change from one day to the next. It took 12 weeks (3 days per week) for her to finally adjust to my home and our routine. The parents were quite concerned but I explained to them that my home has rules that are different from home rules and I enforce those rules. I let them know that kids this young can have a hard time transitioning to daycare especially if they're part-time. I also explained that children can pick up on any negative emotion being expressed by the parent. Any hesitation at drop off can set kids off in a tailspin. I remember disctinctly the day that DCD was dropping DCG off and he hesitated for a split second before putting her on the ground (she was sick at the time and I don't think he wanted to leave her) and then it was downhill from there. His anxious behavior translated into her being anxious and it just kept going day after day. I finally told the dad that drop off needed to be quick with no hesitation. They need to show DCG that they are confident in leaving her with me. They were very understanding, listened to everything I said and after a lot of patience she settled down

I don't know if this is what you're experiencing but it's something to think about.
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Unregistered 09:26 AM 04-19-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I had a child that was 18 months and I swear her mood would change from one day to the next. It took 12 weeks (3 days per week) for her to finally adjust to my home and our routine. The parents were quite concerned but I explained to them that my home has rules that are different from home rules and I enforce those rules. I let them know that kids this young can have a hard time transitioning to daycare especially if they're part-time. I also explained that children can pick up on any negative emotion being expressed by the parent. Any hesitation at drop off can set kids off in a tailspin. I remember disctinctly the day that DCD was dropping DCG off and he hesitated for a split second before putting her on the ground (she was sick at the time and I don't think he wanted to leave her) and then it was downhill from there. His anxious behavior translated into her being anxious and it just kept going day after day. I finally told the dad that drop off needed to be quick with no hesitation. They need to show DCG that they are confident in leaving her with me. They were very understanding, listened to everything I said and after a lot of patience she settled down

I don't know if this is what you're experiencing but it's something to think about.
the child has been attending here for about 5-6 months. It was as you described in the beginning and the child took a good 3 weeks to settle in, even though they are full time. What has been going on with this child has only been in the last few weeks. I am just trying to find out what I should tell the parents, as they are looking to me for an answer. I feel like they think that his change in his emotions is my fault? Or at least it seems this way since they are questioning me about it....
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Ariana 09:47 AM 04-19-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
the child has been attending here for about 5-6 months. It was as you described in the beginning and the child took a good 3 weeks to settle in, even though they are full time. What has been going on with this child has only been in the last few weeks. I am just trying to find out what I should tell the parents, as they are looking to me for an answer. I feel like they think that his change in his emotions is my fault? Or at least it seems this way since they are questioning me about it....
Ah ok so it really is out of the blue. I would ask them if anything has changed at home that would make him react this way and just reiterate that nothing has changed at daycare. I would still encourage them to make drop off quick as he can still pick up on their feeding into it and negative energy.

We had a child go through this at a centre where I worked. He has been with us for 2 years prior and suddenly refused to come to daycare, would cry and scream for 1/2 hour at drop off and no one could figure out what was wrong. He eventually stopped doing it but we never knew. I had a feeling something was going on at home that the parents weren't sharing or didn't know it was affecting him.
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