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caregiver 04:44 PM 12-16-2010
Has anyone else had this problem with a daycare child & potty training?
I have a 3 yr old girl,almost 3 1/2, who shows no interest at all in going to the potty. She is a smart little girl who knows what it means to go potty, but refuses to tell me when she has to go and when I put her on the potty, she just sits there and plays & sings and rarely does go in the potty. I am getting so frustrated and have been talking to her Mom about this and she says the same thing, that she has no interest what so ever with going on the potty. She wets her pull ups and goes poopy in them also and doesn't care that she is wet.
Her parents are not a big help to me as they are not pushing her at all and says that when they get home, it is fix dinner, bath her and put her to bed and to have her sit on the potty all night is not something they are willing to do right now. She wants to go to preschool, but can't because you have to be potty trained, which she isn't. Any suggestions would be appreciated with any ideas on how to get this little girl to get interested in the potty. Not even doing a sticker chart or a rewards things helps. She is too old to not be potty trained and I am not getting any support from her parents.
Thanks.
Michael 04:59 PM 12-16-2010
Welcome to the Daycare.com forum Robin!
QualiTcare 05:00 PM 12-16-2010
she needs to be wearing panties, not a pull up. having a wet pull up on isn't going to bother her because it's just like a diaper and that's all she's ever known. her parents need to be having her wear panties through dinner and getting ready for bed AND when she sleeps. she won't like peeing on herself with panties.
i know it's hard when you work, kid goes to daycare, and then u have to get up in the night to deal with pee blankets - i've done it. i also didn't want a 3 year old in diapers. they're being lazy.
i know it's hard when you work, kid goes to daycare, and then u have to get up in the night to deal with pee blankets - i've done it. i also didn't want a 3 year old in diapers. they're being lazy.
booroo 05:17 PM 12-16-2010
3 day potty traing method.... get your self a copy, by ebook, print it off and give it to the parents.. it works...
Get rid of the diapers/pull ups and get that girl going on the potty!! Look for the clues that she has to go!
Get rid of the diapers/pull ups and get that girl going on the potty!! Look for the clues that she has to go!
caregiver 05:17 PM 12-16-2010
Thanks for your advice. Her parents have put regular underwear on her and she just goes in those also and doesn't seem to care that she is wet. She just doesn't care if she is wet or not and big girl underwear doesn't seem to help. I keep telling her she is too big to be doing this and all she does is smile and laugh at me and says she will tell me tomorrow when she has to go and that never happens, it is the same excuse every day. I just don't get it, my own kids were potty trained at 2yrs and they were so eager to go potty and none of my other daycare kids have ever been like this. I won't put regular underwear on her at my house, I don't want my furniture getting all peed on and ruined, until she stops going in the pull ups. I don't think any other provider would want their furniture ruined either if a child pees on them. I think the parents need to step up and start pushing her at home and taking the time to do this. I can only do so much when she is in my care.
QualiTcare 05:22 PM 12-16-2010
Originally Posted by Robin:
Thanks for your advice. Her parents have put regular underwear on her and she just goes in those also and doesn't seem to care that she is wet. She just doesn't care if she is wet or not and big girl underwear doesn't seem to help. I keep telling her she is too big to be doing this and all she does is smile and laugh at me and says she will tell me tomorrow when she has to go and that never happens, it is the same excuse every day. I just don't get it, my own kids were potty trained at 2yrs and they were so eager to go potty and none of my other daycare kids have ever been like this. I won't put regular underwear on her at my house, I don't want my furniture getting all peed on and ruined, until she stops going in the pull ups. I don't think any other provider would want their furniture ruined either if a child pees on them. I think the parents need to step up and start pushing her at home and taking the time to do this. I can only do so much when she is in my care.
i wasn't suggesting you put her in panties at daycare - of course it would come to that AFTER the parents had her pretty well trained. i doubt the parents are trying as hard as they let on - i'm sorry. i'm all about DAP, but the whole "they'll go when they're ready" becomes ridiculous at a certain point such as - over 2 years old Thanks for your advice. Her parents have put regular underwear on her and she just goes in those also and doesn't seem to care that she is wet. She just doesn't care if she is wet or not and big girl underwear doesn't seem to help. I keep telling her she is too big to be doing this and all she does is smile and laugh at me and says she will tell me tomorrow when she has to go and that never happens, it is the same excuse every day. I just don't get it, my own kids were potty trained at 2yrs and they were so eager to go potty and none of my other daycare kids have ever been like this. I won't put regular underwear on her at my house, I don't want my furniture getting all peed on and ruined, until she stops going in the pull ups. I don't think any other provider would want their furniture ruined either if a child pees on them. I think the parents need to step up and start pushing her at home and taking the time to do this. I can only do so much when she is in my care.
caregiver 05:36 PM 12-16-2010
Oh, I know you were not saying to put panties on her at my house until she was well trained. Sorry, didn't mean to sound that way. I totally agree that her parents are not working hard to try to get her trained. I just get so frustrated and would appreciate a little help and support from her parents with this and I'm just not getting it. A three yr old is too old to be not potty trained, And I hate that phrase also, when they are ready. Well, sometimes you have to push them and work hard at it and I'm trying to do all I can when she is in my care, but like I said, it doesn't help when the parents are not willing to do the same.
I guess I could write a book someday about all I have had to deal with from my daycare parents and the kids. I love the little ones and love doing daycare, but sometimes it just gets so frustrating. Thanks for your replies.
I guess I could write a book someday about all I have had to deal with from my daycare parents and the kids. I love the little ones and love doing daycare, but sometimes it just gets so frustrating. Thanks for your replies.
Abigail 05:44 PM 12-16-2010
You should add a clause to your contract that your rates will increase to infant rates for the need to diaper change. Maybe a few extra dollars a day will get the parents working with her more. It needs to start at home. She can't go to preschool like this and how many other providers will take a child who doesn't even say she needs to go potty at that age? Not many.
WImom 05:57 PM 12-16-2010
My 2nd DD was the same way (was 3.5y, nothing worked, even tried the underwear thing, same as this little girl). I finally took her to a preschool on a tour and the lady told her she'd love it if she could come and play everyday but that she had to be potty trained to go there. DD was potty trained within two days after that and started preschool.
Live and Learn 06:15 PM 12-16-2010
I am with Abigail on this one...
If the only problem here is parental laziness then give them an incentive
.....and of course changing diapers on a 3 1/2 to 4 year old is way more gross than an infant
....Just be matter of fact and inform them that you charge a $5 extra daily for changing diapers on a 4 year old....That will give them the incentive they need
!!!
Maybe it will be their New Year's resolution!
If the only problem here is parental laziness then give them an incentive
.....and of course changing diapers on a 3 1/2 to 4 year old is way more gross than an infant....Just be matter of fact and inform them that you charge a $5 extra daily for changing diapers on a 4 year old....That will give them the incentive they need!!!Maybe it will be their New Year's resolution!
Live and Learn 06:18 PM 12-16-2010
WI Mom...
I love your style...
I totally agree with your response 100%!!!
I love your style...
I totally agree with your response 100%!!!
momma2girls 06:35 PM 12-16-2010
I have in my contract- I will assist with potty training, once your child completely understands the concept of it, and when they tell me they have to go- they must be in diapers or pullups, til completely potty trained and goes on their own, without reminders, and remain accident free for some time.
QualiTcare 09:33 PM 12-16-2010
well, i think she's wearing pull ups at all times - but even that becomes a problem at a certain point! ever changed a 3.5-4 year old turd? i have - ONCE - and never again!!
i know this happens, but for some reason, it's still shocking every time i hear it. i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
i know this happens, but for some reason, it's still shocking every time i hear it. i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
mac60 02:31 AM 12-17-2010
My role as a provider is not to be the potty trainer, that is the parents responsibility. Once they introduce and the child understands and can tell me they have to potty, then that is where my role begins. A child not wanting to pee in the toilet is not my problem. I can't fix everyone and their issues. My potty training policies are the very same as Iowa Daycares. In my 11 1/2 years of being a provider, most of the kids were much closer to 3 or over 3 before they were potty trained. Age 2 is pushing it in my books. Another issue of potty training that is frustrating to me is the time frame. IMO, If a child is truly ready, it should be done and over with in a matter of days, not weeks, and not months. I have had so many kids that the parents have told me they were potty training, and it continued for months and months, like 4 to 6 or more months.....Crazy, either the child simply isn't ready, doesn't understand, or is extremely stubborn, but learning to pee in the toilet shouldn't take several months but only a few days, if they are truly ready and understand.
misol 06:20 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
Ohhhhhh so true!
Blackcat31 06:43 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
well, i think she's wearing pull ups at all times - but even that becomes a problem at a certain point! ever changed a 3.5-4 year old turd? i have - ONCE - and never again!!
i know this happens, but for some reason, it's still shocking every time i hear it. i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
SOOOO TRUE!! I had this one dcb who was 3.5 and I gave mom an option, either pay the infant rate or YOU come change him during the day. She trained him over the next two weeks instead.....well, i think she's wearing pull ups at all times - but even that becomes a problem at a certain point! ever changed a 3.5-4 year old turd? i have - ONCE - and never again!!
i know this happens, but for some reason, it's still shocking every time i hear it. i guess the parents don't realize how bad it is because your own child's poo is never as bad as someone else's.
Another parent I had said "Fine, if he poos I will come change him." I think she figured that he only pooed at home so it would never come to that.....well after I called her 2 times in one week to come change him and then he threw a HUGE fit about not being able to leave with her afterwards, she said "Oh, I can't take this..." and he came back in underwear. He was also 3.5 yrs old. (He only came M,T, & W and had Thursday through Sunday off.)
When things become the parents problem it is amazing how fast they change their way of thinking!!
Blackcat31 06:45 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
she needs to be wearing panties, not a pull up. having a wet pull up on isn't going to bother her because it's just like a diaper and that's all she's ever known. her parents need to be having her wear panties through dinner and getting ready for bed AND when she sleeps. she won't like peeing on herself with panties.
i know it's hard when you work, kid goes to daycare, and then u have to get up in the night to deal with pee blankets - i've done it. i also didn't want a 3 year old in diapers. they're being lazy.
A great trick I learned while potty training my own DD was to make her bed with three sets of sheets and using a water proof pad in between each set. That way if she had an accident, she could peel back the wet sheets and have fresh ones right underneath.....who wants to remake a bed at 3 a.m.!she needs to be wearing panties, not a pull up. having a wet pull up on isn't going to bother her because it's just like a diaper and that's all she's ever known. her parents need to be having her wear panties through dinner and getting ready for bed AND when she sleeps. she won't like peeing on herself with panties.
i know it's hard when you work, kid goes to daycare, and then u have to get up in the night to deal with pee blankets - i've done it. i also didn't want a 3 year old in diapers. they're being lazy.
Francine 07:23 AM 12-17-2010
My daughter was almost three and had no interest at all, she just didn't care. The day she came to me and said " I peed in my pull up" the Pull Ups went in the trash and she was told that the diapers and pull up were gone and I wasn't buying anymore, if she wanted to live in wet pants than so be it. I never put another diaper or pull up on her, not even at night, she had two accidents ever and both were getting up from bed.
I have had daycare kids potty trained here before at home, I did buy the panties and put them on at my house. This is after I new that they were just playing games and new full well what they were doing. They would spend the first part of the day in the kitchen where if they peed their pants it didn't get on my furniture or carpet, once they started telling me they had to go and I could trust them I let them play with the rest of the kids. Took about 2 hours of playing by themselves and the parents were just amazed....Wow look what you can do when you actually try!
I have had daycare kids potty trained here before at home, I did buy the panties and put them on at my house. This is after I new that they were just playing games and new full well what they were doing. They would spend the first part of the day in the kitchen where if they peed their pants it didn't get on my furniture or carpet, once they started telling me they had to go and I could trust them I let them play with the rest of the kids. Took about 2 hours of playing by themselves and the parents were just amazed....Wow look what you can do when you actually try!
momma2girls 08:05 AM 12-17-2010
Originally Posted by mac60:
My role as a provider is not to be the potty trainer, that is the parents responsibility. Once they introduce and the child understands and can tell me they have to potty, then that is where my role begins. A child not wanting to pee in the toilet is not my problem. I can't fix everyone and their issues. My potty training policies are the very same as Iowa Daycares. In my 11 1/2 years of being a provider, most of the kids were much closer to 3 or over 3 before they were potty trained. Age 2 is pushing it in my books. Another issue of potty training that is frustrating to me is the time frame. IMO, If a child is truly ready, it should be done and over with in a matter of days, not weeks, and not months. I have had so many kids that the parents have told me they were potty training, and it continued for months and months, like 4 to 6 or more months.....Crazy, either the child simply isn't ready, doesn't understand, or is extremely stubborn, but learning to pee in the toilet shouldn't take several months but only a few days, if they are truly ready and understand.
Totally agreed, it is the parent's responsiblility, not mine. I am responsible for my children from start to finish!!My role as a provider is not to be the potty trainer, that is the parents responsibility. Once they introduce and the child understands and can tell me they have to potty, then that is where my role begins. A child not wanting to pee in the toilet is not my problem. I can't fix everyone and their issues. My potty training policies are the very same as Iowa Daycares. In my 11 1/2 years of being a provider, most of the kids were much closer to 3 or over 3 before they were potty trained. Age 2 is pushing it in my books. Another issue of potty training that is frustrating to me is the time frame. IMO, If a child is truly ready, it should be done and over with in a matter of days, not weeks, and not months. I have had so many kids that the parents have told me they were potty training, and it continued for months and months, like 4 to 6 or more months.....Crazy, either the child simply isn't ready, doesn't understand, or is extremely stubborn, but learning to pee in the toilet shouldn't take several months but only a few days, if they are truly ready and understand.
QualiTcare 05:17 PM 12-17-2010
i was watching supernanny last week which i really never watch but there was a 3 year old little boy on there who would scream at his mom, "diaper! diaper! diaper!" BEFORE he would pee. he wanted to be able to pee in his pull up and her be standing there ready to put on a clean one. UGH!!
my kids were trained at 2 because 2 year olds are not stupid and they're perfectly capable of using the potty at 2. it wasn't a struggle and i didn't have to push them. it wasn't fun washing pee sheets all the time when they had accidents in the bed, but it's much better than changing 3 year old turds.
my kids were trained at 2 because 2 year olds are not stupid and they're perfectly capable of using the potty at 2. it wasn't a struggle and i didn't have to push them. it wasn't fun washing pee sheets all the time when they had accidents in the bed, but it's much better than changing 3 year old turds.