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  #1  
Old 06-11-2014, 03:15 PM
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ihop ihop is offline
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Default Stop Asking Me If I Plan To Have Kids! VENT

I get that it is more common for people with children to provide daycare services but this is getting really annoying. All of my daycare families asked in the interview IF I have children but none asked since then.

I have one noncustodial mom who picks up once a week and ALWAYS asks me if I plan on having children. Actually the first time she picked up she asked how many I had. I said none. She asked WHEN I plan on....(WARNING MY COMPITER IS STUCK ON CAP LOCKS NOW).... HAVING CHILDREN. I SAID IN NOT SURE BUT NO TIME SOON THEN SHE LOOKED AROUND AND SAID "YOU LIVE HERE?" I SAID YES. "WITH ALL THIS KID STUFF?" YES. I DONT LIKE THID WOMAN TO BEGIN WITH AND SHE IS CROSSING THE LINE ASKING ME.

I MAY JUST BE OVER SENSITIVE ABOUT IT SINCE MY BF OF 5.5YEARS AND I JUST BROKE UP AND NO ONE KNOWS OR THAT I HAVE REPRODUCTIVE ISSUES ALREADY AND WILL PROBABLY HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT TIME CONCEIVING BUT COME ON. AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO POP OUT KID BECAUSE IT SEEMS ODD TO HER THAT I DONT HAVE ANY????
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Old 06-11-2014, 03:25 PM
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I'm sorry . Having kids is really only your business. I'm sorry she always asks you - how inappropriate! I know I would be snarky by the third time she asked.
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  #3  
Old 06-11-2014, 03:34 PM
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That's really weird that they are so insistent on knowing. Before I had a little bitty one around I only got asked that a handful of times. I want to say none of my families that interviewed before I was pregnant (I was in business for close to 1.5 years before I announced I was pregnant) ever asked. It is always people that see us out at the park. "Which one is yours?"
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Old 06-11-2014, 03:42 PM
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KiddieCahoots KiddieCahoots is offline
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I've had a mom ask if I'd be ending the child care because my youngest was going off to school.
This is after doing child care for 15 yrs.
I guess I'm associating this into it, cause I feel some people refuse to look at what we do as a separate entity and job, unless it's tied into us being a mom.
I know being a mom can give us experience, but it's not the only reason we are good at being providers.
I feel short changed from this kind of thinking.
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Old 06-11-2014, 03:56 PM
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You need to let her know her continuous questioning is rude.

Next time she asks say "You know DCM I am really offended by your constant focus on my lack of children. Its not a subject I wish to discuss and it has NO relevance to the quality of care your DD recieves so please dont bring it up again. Thank you."

Repeat if necessary.

It IS rude of her.
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  #6  
Old 06-11-2014, 04:13 PM
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ihop ihop is offline
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It is even more frustrating that she doesn't have any interest in caring for the children that she has! Its almost like she wants me to say I don't have any because they are too much work, or commitment or something. She doesn't ask like a "children are so great and you obviously love them..." kinda way.
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Old 06-11-2014, 04:18 PM
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All I can say is wow!! eek:People can be so rude!! I agree w BC you really should call her on it. It is no one's biz but yours.
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Old 06-11-2014, 04:20 PM
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I was asked that all the time too....the truth was that we were going through infertility for 9 years and didn't want to share that with everyone.....then they want to know whose "fault" it is......then they assumed it was me.......then when we adopted and got pregnant 4 years later they said I finally relaxed and that's why I got pregnant. They were wrong. Hubby had a varicocle and surgery helped us get pregnant.

Oops.....guess that set me off....LOL

People are stupid.
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Old 06-11-2014, 05:17 PM
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I also struggle with infertility and was blessed with a child after 5 years of treatments. It is very insensitive of anyone to ask repeatedly. I was always shocked when people who knew our struggles would say things like don't you want another one or if their new baby was crying or keeping them up aren't you glad you don't have to deal with this anymore. I wanted a baby more than anything and would have been overjoyed to be up all night with a crying baby!
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Old 06-11-2014, 06:40 PM
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Single & kidless here as well. I have been asked a number of times about when I'll be having kids. I don't have a good response yet but I know where you're coming from. I have many personal reasons regarding my decision on having/not having kids but I don't get why dcp think it's any of their business.
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  #11  
Old 06-11-2014, 08:12 PM
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I'm right there with ya! Many people in my own family think it was NUTS to open a daycare when I don't have kids of my own...the same ones who gripe about weekend-long soccer tourneys and out of town baseball games while the hubs and I are going to Vegas every few months.

I love my job, adore the kids I care for, and treasure my adult-only weekends. Anyone who questions whether I can ever be truly happy like that is just jealous of my amazing life!
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  #12  
Old 06-11-2014, 08:20 PM
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Ask her point blank...."Why do you need to know? Is my sex life and family planning important to you?"
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