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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What’s Your General Behavior For This Type Of Situation?
cheerfuldom 08:18 PM 07-26-2011
I am guessing we have all been here. A parent gets all huffy about a policy and does the "my child should get this or that" or "we should get an exception because....". This just bugs me to no end. I try really hard to nip this in the bud when I see it but I really really wish I didn't have to see it at all. Its always for the craziest things to like what shoes are allowed and that sort of thing. Its never anything major as far as my experience goes. What do you do when you see this attitude surface in your daycare parents?
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daycare 08:26 PM 07-26-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am guessing we have all been here. A parent gets all huffy about a policy and does the "my child should get this or that" or "we should get an exception because....". This just bugs me to no end. I try really hard to nip this in the bud when I see it but I really really wish I didn't have to see it at all. Its always for the craziest things to like what shoes are allowed and that sort of thing. Its never anything major as far as my experience goes. What do you do when you see this attitude surface in your daycare parents?
I told one daycare family that tried this that if I made exceptions for them then I had to do it for everyone else and what would be the point of having any rules? I don't think it's realistic for me to run a DC without having rules and policies.

They looked at me and Said yeah guess that's true.
Never asked me again!! Lol
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Kaddidle Care 08:28 PM 07-26-2011
Most of the rules have been put in place for the Health, Safety and Welfare of the child. That's all that needs to be said in reply to the "I am Special" people.
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Cat Herder 06:00 AM 07-27-2011
I tell them which, if any, local daycare offers that service and tell them to let me know what they decide.

After all, it worked on Miracle on 34th street.
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nannyde 06:19 AM 07-27-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I tell them which, if any, local daycare offers that service and tell them to let me know what they decide.

After all, it worked on Miracle on 34th street.


Yeah that or attach a fee.
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PitterPatter 12:14 PM 07-27-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am guessing we have all been here. A parent gets all huffy about a policy and does the "my child should get this or that" or "we should get an exception because....". This just bugs me to no end. I try really hard to nip this in the bud when I see it but I really really wish I didn't have to see it at all. Its always for the craziest things to like what shoes are allowed and that sort of thing. Its never anything major as far as my experience goes. What do you do when you see this attitude surface in your daycare parents?
No backbone here really so I tend let things go and let it build. If it is something like bringing food I stop them in their tracks now and remind them of policy. If it's they forgot the diapers and ask others to share I send them back home immediately. It just depends on the issue really. I back down when I feel bad for people or if I worry about backlash. BUT today I am putting my foot down and already have a letter written out to a DCM stating that the sunscreen is now 2 months past due and they MUST supply it by Friday beacuse my son's is now gone because I had to share it with 3 kids. I also told them that the 4 weeks past due co-payments must be made on Friday as well! I have some back up from the center now. They are willing to send a letter stating I am not required to accept the children into care if it is not paid. Gotta get tough I guess.
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MarinaVanessa 12:38 PM 07-27-2011
I got tired of the parents asking me about why their child couldn't wear certain shoes, or why they had to leave 2 sets of extra clothes if they could pack one set in their bag and take it back and forth from here to home, why they couldn't bring toys, why they couldn't bring food etc. I got rid of alot of the hassle by supplying the appropriate clothes and shoes. This way they can bring them in whatever they want, I change them as soon as the parent leaves ... this is the only way that I can make sure that the kids will all be in appropriate clothing and shoes.

As for the toys ... well I did give in to that and changed the policy but I warn that I am not respnsible for keeping track of them. After a few toys being dunked in the dog water bowl, dragged through the mud, broken or lost the DCPs get smart and stop bringing them. When I had a "no toys from home" policy EVERYBODY brought them, now that I don't have this policy NOBODY brings them. Go figure

And then there's the food. I changed the policy and said it was ok to bring food but only if they were prepared to share and it had to follow food program guidelines. I have not had to serve any of my own food for snacks this week because the DCPs have brought anything from fruit to oatmeal. Enough to feed all of the kids snacks and I still claimed breakfast, lunch and supper.

So yes I sometimes cave ... but only when I have the upper hand.
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Zoe 01:23 PM 07-27-2011
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I got tired of the parents asking me about why their child couldn't wear certain shoes, or why they had to leave 2 sets of extra clothes if they could pack one set in their bag and take it back and forth from here to home, why they couldn't bring toys, why they couldn't bring food etc. I got rid of alot of the hassle by supplying the appropriate clothes and shoes. This way they can bring them in whatever they want, I change them as soon as the parent leaves ... this is the only way that I can make sure that the kids will all be in appropriate clothing and shoes.

As for the toys ... well I did give in to that and changed the policy but I warn that I am not respnsible for keeping track of them. After a few toys being dunked in the dog water bowl, dragged through the mud, broken or lost the DCPs get smart and stop bringing them. When I had a "no toys from home" policy EVERYBODY brought them, now that I don't have this policy NOBODY brings them. Go figure

And then there's the food. I changed the policy and said it was ok to bring food but only if they were prepared to share and it had to follow food program guidelines. I have not had to serve any of my own food for snacks this week because the DCPs have brought anything from fruit to oatmeal. Enough to feed all of the kids snacks and I still claimed breakfast, lunch and supper.

So yes I sometimes cave ... but only when I have the upper hand.

That is so awesome that you have parents who actually figured it out when you gave a little wiggle room! How wonderful for you!
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TBird 03:57 PM 07-27-2011
Only ever had one set of parents that wanted me to schedule my vacation around theirs. Of course I gave them the old...."If I do it for you..." speech. They had a "light bulb" moment and never brought it up again. So easy!!!

For other quirks I'd point them to my SIGNED CONTRACT or another daycare service.
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rjskids 08:25 PM 07-27-2011
So far the toy thing doesn't bother me. But I don't keep track of it. So after a couple of times the parent is standing there wanting to go home and their child is ransacking the place trying to find their toy...then I think they learn their own lesson. As far as food I have not (knockonwood) had any problems yet.
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MichellesKiddos 07:01 AM 07-28-2011
I had a big issue after I handed out my new handbook with one particular dcf. The policy was that the children were allowed to bring a blanket/stuffed animal/snugglies and they could get them out at quiet time, but before and after quiet time they would be kept in their cubbies. I had one parent blow a lid...literally!..because dcb couldn't have his "bear" throughout the entire day! This is a 3yo keep in mind. I had to keep reminding her that the rule is the same for everyone here (including my child) and if I gave them special treatment I would have to do it for everyone. This still wasn't good enough for her and she actually told me that I was "set in my ways and won't change for anyone" and that she didn't agree with me being able to tell her child when they could have something and when they couldn't! Needless to say this 'discussion' got very heated and I did not end up giving in! yay me!! This was also the dcp that was 'supposedly' my friend before starting daycare. Learned my lesson there!
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cheerfuldom 07:30 AM 07-28-2011
yup I had the lovey battle as well. Mom and dad insisted kid needed a cup, binky, blankey and puppy at all times. She never got any of that here ever. I told them they might as well not even send those things (except the cup for meals) but every day she walked in with her arms full. I would stand her at the door in front of the parents and stuff it all in her bag. On the way out, she would pull it all out at the end of the day. They knew she was not getting it here and was fine all day but they could not get her in the car without giving it all back. Sometimes it would take up to 20 minutes to get her in the car even with all these items!!! Oh and this was a 2.5 year old!
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Hunni Bee 05:04 PM 07-28-2011
I'm just cool as a cucumber with them. I don't get upset (in most cases) and if I have say no a hundred times then so be it.

At my center, we have a strict policy against flip flops. I have a dcg who comes daily wearing flip flops, but has a pair of shoes to leave at the center to change into daily. We could have been an a$$ about it and stuck firm to the policy, but as long as their not on my time wearing flip flops, I don't care what they ride in the car from home it. Plus dcg can change her shoes herself.

But, I don't monitor her changing her shoes. That's the dcp and child's own situation and I don't consider it my business. I remind dcg to change her shoes occasionally, but not much more than that.

So, today dcg forgot to change out of her sneakers back into her flip flops and I closed the room down. At pick up, dcm immediately asks dcg where her sandals were. Dcg says their are still in her cubbie. Dcm then asks me "Why didnt dcg change her shoes?". I said sweetly, "She must have forgotten." Dcm turned on her heels and walked out. Hey, I'm not going to take extra attention that I could be using for other children so that it can be easier for you to violate policies.
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Tags:parent - unrealistic expectations, parent - with attitude, parents - ask too much
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